LOOKING 
BACK  FKOM  BEULAH 


BY 

MKS.  MOLLIE  ALMA  WHITE 

n 

ON  THE  OVERRULING  AND  FORMING   HAND  OF  GOD  IN  THE  POV- 

ERTY AND  STRUGGLES  OF  CHILDHOOD,  THE  HARDSHIPS  OF 

LATER  YEARS,  THE  BATTLES,  VICTORIES  AND  JOYS  OF 

The  Sanctified  Life 

THE  DISCOVERY  OF  THE  PATH  THAT  LED  TO  IT.     THE  APOSTASY 

OF    THE    MODERN    CHURCH,    WITH    SCRIPTURAL    SUB- 

JECTS AND  COMMENTS.   PENTECOSTAL  WORK. 

"Ask  for  the  old  paths,  where  is  the  good  way,  and  walk 
therein,  and  ye  shall  find  rest  for  your  souls"(Jer.  6:16). 

And  I  saw  the  denominations  —  great  multitudes  —  in  the  wilder- 
ness of  this  world,  pitifully  confused  in  the  way.  Inordinate 
desires,  "the  lust  of  the  flesh,  and  the  lust  of  the  eyes,  and  the 
pride  of  life,"  had  darkened  their  understanding.  The  path  to 
the  "goodly  land"  was  lost  —  filled  with  sand  by  the  crossing 
and  recrossing  of  gay  young  crowds  "who  sat  down  to  eat 
and  drink  and  rose  up  to  play*,"  and  by  the  elders  who  "turned 
aside  quickly  out  of  the  way"  to  worship  other  gods.*  The  guide 
posts  erected  by  early  leaders  were  cut  down.  Blind  guides  were 
abundant  and  as  badly  muddled  as  the  rest.  The  Guide  Book 
was  being  highly  criticised,  and  the  miraculous  and  supernatural 
eliminated  :  "the  land  of  milk  and  honey"  was  considered  doubt- 
ful.t  and  the  leeks  and  onions  of  the  kingdom  of  darkness  more 
to  be  desired. 

I  saw  the  wrath  of  God  descend  upon  them.  Fire  destroyed 
themj.  And  "the  Lord  made  a  new  thing;  the  earth  opened 
her  mouth  and  swallowed§"  up  the  gainsayers||,  that  were 
famous  in  the  congregation,  men  of  renownfl  ;"  and  of  the  oth- 
ers, the  wilderness  was  full  of  their  carcasses**. 

*Ex.   32:6-8.     fHeb.   3:18.     JNum.   10:2.     §Num.   16:30. 
||Jude  11.     BNum.   16:2.      **Num.   14:29. 


PUBLISHED  BY  THE  PENTECOSTAL  UNION, 

(PILLAR  OF  FIRE) 

BOUND  BROOK,  N.  J. 


Copyright,  1902,  by  Mrs.  M.  A.  White. 
1910 


SJ/O 


TO  HIM  WHOM  I  LOVE, 

WHO    HATH    ENRICHED    ME    WITH 

A  GREAT  POSSESSION, 

AND    IN  THE    MIDST    THEREOF    HATH    BECOME 

THE   FAIREST   OF   TEN  -THOUSAND 

TO    MY    SOUL, 
TO    WHOM    I    HAVE    DEDICATED    ALL   THINGS, 

TO  HIS  CAUSE 
/  Dedicate  this  Book. 

To  the  few  that  are  finding  the  narrow  way  and 
walking  therein,  may  it  be  a  benediction. 

To  the  unsanctified,  may  it  create  a  fear  lest  a 
promise  being  left  them,  they  fail  in  unbelief. 

To  the  unsaved,  may  it  be  a  voice  crying,  Eepent, 
Prepare  to  meet  thy  God  for  He  cometh  to  judge  the 
quick  and  the  dead. 


/"/f 


CONTEXTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I  Conviction  and  Conversion     ....  7 

II  The  Inward  Conflict— Trials  in  School         23 

III  Leaving  Home 39 

IV  Teaching  in  Montana — Incidental  Ex- 

periences— Masonic   Ball — Card- 

50 


V 
VI 
VII 

At  Home  in  School  —  Overwork  —  Mis- 
sionary in  Utah  —  Testings      .     . 

Last  Year   as  a  Teacher  —  A   School 
Election  —  Trials  and    Triumphs 

Denver  —  Marriage  —  Struggles  Against 
W^orldliness     

65 

83 
95 

VIII 

Lamar  —  Pastor's    Wife  —  Furnace    of 
Affliction         

106 

IX 

A  Mountain   Charge  —  Heart-  cry    for 
Purity        

125 

X 
XI 

Consecration  and  Sanctification      .     . 

The  Bible  a  New  Book     
Beulah        

140 

154 
166 

I  Have  the  Victory  (song)     .     . 

167 

XII        The  Bible  a  New  Book  (continued)  168 

M101493 


XIII  Healing  for  the  Body— Eevival  Fires 

on  the  Erie  Charge       ....         18  L 

XIV  The  Boulder  Conference — In  Evangel- 

istic Work — Bible  Subjects  and 
Comments 206 

XV  Eemarkable  Experiences  in  the  Work       232 

XVI  Box  Elder,  Black  Hollow  and  other 

Eevivals 252 

XVII  Opening  of  the  Pentecostal  Mission        266 

XVIII  Leadville    Conference    and    Mission 

Work 281 

XIX  Some  Faith  Experiences       ....         296 

XX  Meeting  at  Paris,  Kentucky— Shut  out 

at  Pleasant  View— Christ  as  Ee- 
deemer,  Heavenly  Bridegroom 
and  Coming  King — The  Tribu- 
lation    306 

XXI  On    the     Pacific    Coast— Tokens    of 

God's    Favor— Organization    of 

<  <  The  Pentecostal  Union  »  331 


LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEIILAH 


CHAPTER     J  /      ,,;  -,    Vj\ 

CONVICTION     AND     CONVERSION 

WHEN  nine  years  of  age,  I  was  deeply  con- 
victed of  sin  one  evening  while  listening 
to  a  conversation  in  our  home.  My  father  and 
mother,  together  with  some  relatives,  were 
talking  of  the  eternal  torments  of  the  wicked. 
One  dark  picture  after  another  was  drawn, 
and  while  standing  some  distance  from  them, 
apparently  unnoticed,  I  was  so  overcome  with 
the  fear  of  hell  that  I  could  hardly  move.  I 
soon  caught  my  father's  eye,  and  he  reminded 
me  that  it  was  bed-time.  I  left  the  room 
with  a  longing  to  unburden  my  heart  to  some 
one,  for  a  consciousness  of  sin  had  settled 
upon  me.  Daylight  was  anxiously  looked  for, 
in  hopes  that  it  would  bring  relief,  but  when 
it  came  it  did  not  lift  the  darkness  from  my 
soul.  The  need  of  a  Savior  was  thus  felt 
early  in  life. 

We  lived  in  Lewis  County,  Kentucky,  on 
the  Kinnikinnick,  nine  miles  from  Vanceburg. 


8          LOOKING    BACK    FROM   BETJLAH 

The  nearest  church  was  five  miles  away; 
From  Ihe^Jtime  I  was  first  convicted  I  had  no 
y:  erf  attending  a  meeting  for  two 
frier e,  .was  such  concern  at  times 
abo'iit  <fny  £9$  [that  I  was  scarcely  able  to 
wbrlc  of  study/ 

Mother  was  familiar  with  many  of  the 
old  Methodist  hymns,  and  often  sang  them 
about  her  work  and  before  retiring  at  night. 
The  following  hymn  of  Wesley's  on  the  final 
account,  greatly  impressed  me: 

"And  must  I  be  to  judgment  brought, 

And  answer  in  that  day 
For  every  vain  and  idle  thought, 
And  every  word  I  say? 

"Yes,  every  secret  of  my  heart 

Shall  shortly  be  made  known, 
And  I  receive  my  just  desert 
For  all  that  I  have  done. 

"Thou  awful  judge  of  quick  and  dead, 

The  watchful  power  bestow; 
So  shall  I  to  my  ways  take  heed, 
To  all  I  speak  or  do. 

"If  now  Thou  standest  at  the  door, 

0  let  me  feel  Thee  near, 

And  make  my  peace  with  God,  before 

1  at  Thy  bar  appear. ' ' 

The  songs  she  sang  were  the  only  ser- 
mons I  heard.  They  were  used  by  the  Spirit 
to  keep  me  under  conviction.  Among  them 


CONVICTION  AND    CONVEKSION  9 

were:  "Come  Humble  Sinner  in  Whose 
Breast, "  '  There  Is  a  Spot  to  Me  More  Dear, " 
and,  "Show  Pity  Lord,  O  Lord  Forgive." 

I  meditated  on  these  hymns  day  and 
night,  and  asked  mother  to  buy  me  a  book  so 
I  could  learn  them.  She  had  so  many  things 
on  her  mind  that  my  earnest  appeal  went  un- 
heeded. Having  no  one  else  to  go  to,  I  be- 
lieved that  God  would  answer  prayer,  and 
knelt  down  and  asked  Him  for  the  book.  Two 
weeks  later  I  went  to  visit  my  eldest  sister  at 
her  home.  In  the  evening,  when  her  hus- 
band returned  from  town,  he  threw  a  beauti- 
ful leather-bound  hymn-book  into  my  lap, 
with  the  remark,  "I  thought  we  needed  a 
hymn  book  here. "  I  was  delighted  with  this 
book,  and  much  of  my  time  was  spent  at 
their  home  memorizing  hymns. 

Two  years  elapsed.  A  revival  meeting 
was  in  progress  in  the  church  before  men- 
tioned. My  father,  eldest  brother  and  two 
sisters  were  converted  in  this  meeting.  I  had 
the  opportunity  of  going  only  twice.  At  the 
first  service  I  attended  I  went  forward  to  the 
altar,  and  the  next  evening  joined  the  church 
on  probation;  but  no  real  change  of  heart 
was  experienced  and  my  soul  languished  in 
darkness,  more  miserable  than  before.  Hav- 
ing been  encouraged  by  receiving  a  hymn-book 
in  answer  to  prayer,  I  prayed  for  a  Bible  also. 


10        LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

After  having  attended  our  district  schoo* 
for  a  few  months,  the  teacher  came  to  me 
and  said,  '  'Do  you  know  you  are  going  to  win 
the  prize  in  your  spelling  class?"  This  was  a 
surprise  to  me,  for  one  of  my  sisters,  who  was 
in  the  same  class,  was  a  much  better  speller 
than  I.  The  prize  was  to  be  either  a  Bible 
or  an  album,  and  when  the  teacher  asked 
me  which  I  preferred,  I  exclaimed,  "THE 
BIBLE!"  On  the  last  day  of  the  term  she 
placed  in  my  hand  a  Bible  with  a  gilt  edge 
and  a  clasp.  This  book  was  valued  above 
anything  that  I  had  ever  before  owned.  All 
my  spare  moments  were  devoted  to  it.  The 
first  four  books  of  the  New  Testament  were 
read  and  re-read,  and  many  verses,  including 
all  of  the  fourteenth  chapter  of  St.  John,  were 
committed  to  memory. 

My  probationary  membership  in  the 
church  was  drawing  to  a  close,  at  the  end  of 
which  time  I  expected  to  be  baptized  and 
taken  into  full  connection  in  the  church.  I  had 
lived  in  hopes  that  peace  would  come  to  my 
soul  then,  but  in  this  I  was  mistaken.  The 
membership  vows  and  water  baptism  brought 
no  change  of  heart.  Now  that  I  had  been 
accepted  as  a  member,  I  supposed  that  every- 
one thought  I  was  a  Christian,  but  too  well  I 
knew  better.  I  knew  that  Jesus  had  denounced 
hypocrites,  and  that  He  and  John  the  Baptist 


CONVICTION   AND   CONVEKSION          11 

called  them  a  ' 'generation  of  vipers;"  some- 
thing kept  saying,  "Hypocrite,  hypocrite." 
There  were  rattlesnakes  and  vipers  in  that 
part  of  Kentucky,  which  were  a  constant 
dread,  and  the  thought  of  being  compared  to 
them  horrified  me. 

The  Methodist  preacher  visited  our  home 
occasionally,  but  never  spoke  to  me  about  my 
soul.  My  eldest  brother  was  taken  down 
with  typhoid  fever,  and  for  weeks  his  life 
hung  in  the  balances.  He  was  not  saved, 
and  the  thought  of  his  being  lost  in  the  hell 
that  the  Bible  tells  us  about,  nearly  distracted 
me.  There  were  days  while  he  was  sick,  that 
I  had  scarcely  any  appetite  for  food.  He, 
like  myself,  was  a  member  of  the  church,  but 
even  though  he  had  been  converted  I  was 
satisfied  he  was  then  a  backslider.  I  watched 
him  very  closely  and  wondered  why  the  other 
members  of  the  family  were  not  more  con- 
cerned about  his  soul.  On  a  Sunday  morning 
I  ran  all  the  way  to  the  home  of  my  eldest 
sister,  without  being  sent,  to  tell  her  that  he 
was  worse.  She  did  not  manifest  the  sorrow 
that  I  expected  her  to,  and  I  went  back  home 
crying. 

Arriving  at  my  brother's  bedside  again,  I 
found  an  old  German  neighbor  there.  He 
turned  away,  shook  his  head  and  groaned.  I 
understood  what  that  meant.  Our  pastor  had 


CONVICTION    AND   CONVEESION  13 

not  called,  and  I  wondered   why   mother  did 
not  send  for  him. 

The  next  morning  there  was  still  no 
change  for  the  better,  but  somehow  I  felt  that 
something  was  going  to  be  done  in  his  behalf. 
Looking  down  the  road  I  recognized  our 
preacher  coming  on  horseback.  Soon  he  was 
at  my  brother's  bedside,  'reading  and  praying. 
As  he  read  the  third  verse  of  the  io3d  Psalm, 
"Who  forgiveth  all  thine  iniquities;  who  heal- 
eth  all  thy  diseases,"  every  muscle  in  my 
brother's  face  quivered,  and  his  countenance 
changed,  which  left  a  lasting  impression 
upon  me.  I  believe  that  God  reclaimed  him 
at  that  moment.  Mother's  tears  were  flowing, 
and  the  preacher  looked  pleased.  I  could  not 
restrain  my  emotion  and  foolishly  left  the 
room  to  weep.  I  should  have  stayed  by  the 
bedside  and  had  my  cry  out,  and  others  per- 
haps would  have  gotten  under  conviction.  1 
did  not  realize  then  that  I  was  quenching  the 
Spirit.  After  this  scene,  until  my  brother 
was  restored  to  health,  all  concern  left  me  as 
to  whether  he  lived  or  died.  I  knew  that  if  it 
were  God's  will  to  call  him  away,  that  his  sins 
were  forgiven.  My  greatest  concern  now  was 
about  my  own  soul,  and  I  would  willingly  have 
chosen  sickness,  if  through  physical  suffering 
the  desired  change  could  have  been  brought 
about  in  my  heart.  There  was  no  one  to 


14    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

whom  I  could  go  for  help  or  advice,  and  no 
one  seemed  to  be  concerned  about  my  salva- 
tion. The  world  and  its  pleasures  had  no 
attraction  for  me  while  in  this  condition. 
Much  of  the  time  I  was  silent,  and  was  often 
accused  of  being  sullen,  by  people  who  did 
not  understand  that  it  was  real  conviction. 

Two  years  more  of  trial  and  heart-anguish 
passed.  On  a  Sunday  afternoon,  with  my 
brother  and  sister,  I  attended  quarterly  meet- 
ing in  Northcutt  chapel,  seven  miles  away. 
The  presiding  elder,  for  whom  the  chapel  was 
named,  preached  the  sermon.  He  took  his 
text  from  Prov.  18:24:  'There  is  a  friend  that 
sticketh  closer  than  a  brother."  I  felt  that 
every  word  he  spoke  was  intended  for  me. 
Near  the  close  of  his  sermon  he  told  of  one 
who  had  neglected  salvation  and  died  without 
hope.  Kind  friends  had  ministered  to  his 
wants  and  done  all  that  loving  hearts  and 
hands  could  do  to  comfort  him  in  his  dying 
hours,  but  while  breathing  his  last,  instead  of 
angels  coming  to  bear  him  away  on  their  white 
pinions,  demons  were  present  to  escort  him  to 
the  black  chambers  of  despair.  As  he  de- 
scribed the  horrors  of  the  dying  man,  an  un- 
seen power  took  hold  of  me;  I  sat  motionless, 
wishing  an  altar  call  might  be  made,  and  that 
some  one  would  help  me  to  go  forward,  but  to 
my  disappointment,  no  invitation  was  given. 


CONVICTION   AND    CONVEESION  15 

It  would  be  impossible  to  tell  what  I  suf- 
fered after  reaching  home.  I  sought  places 
of  retirement  where  I  might  breathe  out  my 
soul  to  God.  Often  in  the  night-time  deliver- 
ance seemed  very  near;  I  could  almost  reach 
out  and  grasp  the  blessing,  when  the  enemy 
would  whisper,  "If  you  get  converted  you 
will  shout  and  awaken  everybody  in  the 
house."  He  kept  me  in  constant  fear,  know- 
ing how  much  out  of  the  ordinary  it  would  have 
been  for  a  person  in  our  home  to  shout  and 
praise  the  Lord. 

My  father  invited  a  minister  of  the  M.  E. 
Church  to  preach  in  our  school  house,  where  a 
class  was  formed  and  our  membership  placed. 
He  was  a  young  college  graduate  and  preached 
good  sermons,  but  had  no  power.  He  flour- 
ished his  left  hand  gracefully  in  order  to  dis- 
play a  gold  ring  which  he  wore.  I  wondered 
at  his  disregard  for  God's  word  and  the 
Methodist  discipline,  which  forbid  the  wearing 
of  gold.  The  enemy  used  this  ring  to  distract 
my  thoughts  from  spiritual  things.  I  won- 
dered who  would  be  the  fortunate  (?)  young 
woman  on  whose  ringer  this  ring  would  be 
placed  sooner  or  later.  In  a  short  time  after 
he  came  to  the  charge  a  girl  of  my  own  age 
was  wearing  it,  who  became  his  wife  a  few 
months  later.  The  very  fact  that  this  preacher 
fell  in  love  with  a  fifteen-year-old  girl  and 


16        LOOKING   BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

married  her  within  a  year  after  being  placed 
on  this  charge  proved  that  he  had  no  salva- 
tion. His  college  education  had  made  a  fool 
of  him,  rather  than  fitted  him  for  the  minis- 
try, which  is  usually  the  case.  The  young 
woman  I  knew  had  not  a  particle  of  salva- 
tion; in  fact,  she  made  no  profession  of  Chris- 
tianity; all  that  could  be  said  of  her  was  that 
she  was  a  church  member.  This  man  has 
filled  many  important  pulpits  and  positions  in 
the  Kentucky  Conference,  and  remains  until 
this  day  without  any  spiritual  life. 

He  promised  to  hold  a  protracted  meet- 
ing for  us  to  which  we  anxiously  looked  for- 
ward. At  last  the  services  were  begun,  but 
after  preaching  three  evenings,  he  closed  with 
no  particular  reason  for  doing  so,  claiming 
that  duty  called  him  elsewhere.  After  he 
left  the  charge,  another  young  college  preacher 
was  sent,  who  proved  to  have  less  ability  than 
his  predecessor.  My  hope  for  a  revival  was 
again  blasted. 

The  Lord  had  answered  my  prayer  for  a 
hymn-book  and  a  Bible,  had  converted  my 
brother  and  raised  him  from  a  bed  of  sickness, 
and  I  believed  it  was  time  to  pray  for  a 
preacher  to  come  who  would  hold  special 
revival  services  and  give  the  people  a 
chance  to  publicly  seek  the  Lord.  I  had  no 
regrets  when  our  pastor  left,  and  anxiously 


CONVICTION   AND    CONYEESION  17 

awaited  his  successor.  W.  B.  Godbey  was 
sent  in  answer  to  prayer.  He  began  special 
meetings  in  our  neighborhood  November  5, 
1878.  I  was  away  from  home  and  did  not 
attend  the  first  service;  the  second  evening  I 
went  forward  with  others  on  the  first  invita- 
tion. Our  hired  man  knelt  near  me,  whom  I 
had  always  considered  very  wicked,  as  he  at- 
tended balls  and  places  of  worldly  amusement. 
After  a  short  struggle  he  leaped  to  his  feet 
shouting.  On  the  other  side  of  me  was  a 
worldly  neighbor  girl  who  loved  to  dance;  she 
broke  through  and  began  to  praise  God  for 
deliverance  from  her  sins.  These  conversions 
were  a  great  surprise  to  me.  I  supposed  that 
they,  being  more  worldly  than  I,  would  be 
longer  in  finding  Christ.  In  this  my  self- 
righteousness  was  manifest,  which  was  as 
filthy  rags  in  God's  sight.  I  had  to  learn 
that  salvation  is  a  free  gift,  and  not  merited 
by  any  one;  also  that  grace  will  reach  as  far 
as  sin  has  gone,  when  conditions  are  met,  and 
that  through  faith  in  the  atoning  blood  we  are 
made  free.  I  found  no  relief  that  evening, 
and  left  the  house  in  great  distress.  I  could 
hear  the  wails  of  the  lost,  and  felt  that  one 
more  step  would  take  me  over  the  brink  into 
the  abyss.  Everything  hitherto  tried  had 
failed  to  bring  relief,  and  I  knew  that  it  was 
not  in  the  power  of  human  beings  to  help 


18         LOOKING  BACK  FEQM   BETJLAH 

me.  All  desire  for  food  was  taken  from  me. 
The  next  day,  as  far  as  possible,  I  re- 
mained out  of  sight.  The  cry  of  my  soul  was, 
"I  must  be  saved  to-night  or  be  lost  forever." 
On  entering  the  meeting  house  that  evening, 
I  found  the  seats  all  taken  except  two  benches 
near  the  speaker,  that  were  used  for  mourners. 
I  sat  down  on  one  of  these,  near  the  end,  and 
held  tightly  to  keep  from  falling  to  the  floor, 
for  I  was  almost  prostrated  under  my  load. 
The  text  was  Romans  6:23:  "The  wages  of 
sin  is  death;  but  the  gift  of  God  is  eternal  life 
through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord."  Breathing 
became  difficult  as  the  preacher  thundered  the 
terrors  of  the  law.  The  old  serpent  seemed 
to  be  tightening  his  coils  about  me.  Convic- 
tion was  settling  down  with  such  power  on 
the  congregation  that  some  turned  sick  and 
sought  to  escape  from  the  house.  One  of  my 
uncles,  who  had  been  trying  to  be  a  Universa- 
list,  went  out  and  threw  up  his  supper,  and 
returned.  Hell  was  uncapped;  men  looked 
into  it  and  became  desperately  sick  of  their 
sins.  The  call  for  seekers  brought  many  to 
the  altar.  Demons  seemed  to  be  clutching  at 
my  heart-strings  as  I  sank  to  the  fluor  at  the 
end  of  the  seat.  A  sister  came  to  talk  with 
me,  but  I  was  sorry  she  did  so,  as  I  wished  to 
be  alone.  When  she  left,  the  preacher  came 
and  knelt  at  my  side  and  asked  me  to  repeat 


20         LOOKING  BM)K   FEOM  BEULAH 

these  familiar  lines,  from  which  he   thought   I 
would  receive  benefit: 

"But  drops  of  grief  can  ne'er  repay 

The  debt  of  love  I  owe; 
Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away, 
'Tisall  that  I  can  do." 

My  reply  was  that  I  had  repeated  them  over 
and  over.  While  he  was  talking,  I  felt  that 
the  Savior  was  far  away  and  could  not  hear 
me;  I  was  so  inwardly  absorbed  and  crushed 
that  I  could  scarcely  hear  the  voice  of  the 
preacher,  who  was  speaking  in  his  usual  tone. 
Trying  to  arouse  me  from  this  death-like 
stupor,  he  said,  "Daughter,  will  you  take 
Jesus  for  your  Prophet,  Priest  and  King— 
your  Prophet  to  teach  you,  your  Priest  to  for- 
give you,  and  your  King  to  rule  you?"  I  told 
him  that  I  would  gladly  do  so.  He  asked  me 
then  to  rise  to  my  feet.  "No,  "I  said,  "I 
must  be  saved  to-night,  and  I  cannot  leave 
until  the  work  is  done,  if  I  have  to  stay  here 
until  morning."  "But  you  have  taken  Jesus, 
have  you  not?"  I  answered,  "Yes."  He 
assisted  me  to  rise  to  my  feet.  Before  I  had 
fairly  stood ,  my  burden  rolled  away,  my  heart 
opened,  and  heaven  came  down  and  filled  and 
thrilled  me  until  my  whole  being  was  tremu- 
lous with  new  life.  The  power  of  the  Spirit 
was  so  great  upon  me  that  I  was  unable  to 


CONVICTION  AND  CONVERSION  21 

stand  without  support.  Everybody  around 
me  appeared  to  be  changed;  the  faces  of  some 
persons  were  radiant  with  light,  while  others 
looked  very  dark.  All  eyes,  apparently,  were 
upon  me.  Some  said,  *  'Shout;"  others  said, 
''Sing,"  but  I  could  do  nothing  but  laugh, 
wondering  if  heaven  could  be  any  better.  A 
young  man,  who  claimed  to  be  an  unbeliever, 
and  who  apparently  had  been  unmoved  until 
this  time,  observing  the  change  that  had  come 
over  me,  turned  to  mother  and  said,  "I  can 
never  doubt  again  after  seeing  this."  Three 
days  later  he  was  converted. 

On  the  way  home  that  night  my  heart 
sang: 

i  'Safe  in  the  arms  of  Jesus, 

Safe  on  His  gentle  breast, 
There  by  His  love  o'ershadowed, 

Sweetly  my  soul  shall  rest. 

" Jesus,  my  heart's  dear  Eefuge, 

Jesus  has  died  for  me. 
Firm  on  the  Rock  of  Ages, 
Ever  my  trust  shall  be." 

I  understood  for  the  first  time  the  song 
that  the  heavenly  host  sang  over  the  Babe  of 
Bethlehem,  and  felt  that  I  could  vie  with 
them  in  singing,  "Glory  to  God  in  the  high- 
est." The  night  was  full  of  melody — all 
things  seemed  to  be  praising  God.  Even  the 
whip-poor-will,  with  its  doleful  notes,  that 


22         LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BETJLAH 

had  formerly  brought  such  gloomy  forebod- 
ings, now  appeared  to  unite  with  me  in  sing- 
ing praises  to  my  King. 


CHAPTER   II 

THE     INWARD     CONFLICT TRIALS    IN     SCHOOL 

On  the  Sunday  afternoon  following  my 
conversion,  I  was  alone  in  the  house,  sitting 
by  the  fire  reading  the  Bible,  when  Satan 
brought  some  wicked  thoughts  into  my  mind. 
Frightened  by  them,  I  arose,  hastened  to  a 
back  room  and  dropped  upon  my  knees  in 
prayer.  The  adversary  said,  '  'You  have  lost 
your  salvation ;  you  were  seven  years  seeking 
Christ,  and  it  will  be  seven  years  more  before 
you  are  restored  to  Him."  Bewildered  by  the 
sudden  attack  of  the  enemy,  and  stung  by  his 
upbraiding  words,  with  a  humiliating  sense  of 
the  long  struggle  in  seeking  salvation,  and  the 
thought  of  having  to  repeat  it,  my  soul  was 
filled,  for  a  moment,  with  inexpressible  agony. 
In  this,  my  first  conflict,  the  Lord,  seeing  my 
confusion  quickly  came  to  my  relief,  and  in 
the  realm  of  my  soul  struck  the  key-note  of 
my  first  battle  hymn: 

"Are  there  no  foes  for  me  to  face? 

Must  I  not  stem  the  flood! 
Is  this  vile  world  a  friend  to  grace, 
To  help  me  on  to  God? 

"Since  I  must  fight  if  I  would  reign, 

Increase  my  courage,  Lord;  23 


24    LOOKING  BACK  FBOM  BEULAH 

I'll  bear  the  toil,  endure  the  pain, 
Supported  by  thy  word.'7 

Remembering  that  the  Word  says,  '  'Re- 
sist the  devil,  and  he  will  flee  from  you,"  I 
said,  "Get  thee  behind  me,  Satan, "  and  again 
the  dove  of  peace  rested  upon  me,  and  I  wept 
for  joy.  From  this  hour  the  warfare  began, 
and  trials  and  besetments  awaited  me  on 
every  hand. 

One  of  my  sisters  was  very  nervous,  and 
often  my  presence  annoyed  her.  I  sought  to 
please  her  in  different  ways,  but  did  not  suc- 
ceed. Whenever  I  could  have  a  little  time  to 
myself,  the  hymn-book  and  Bible  were  my 
constant  companions.  When  I  sang,  she 
complained  about  the  noise,  and  if  she  found 
me  reading  the  Bible,  she  would  want  some 
work  done.  She  had  no  idea  how  the  devil 
was  using  her  to  put  stumbling-blocks  in  my 
way.  While  the  injustice  of  her  complaints 
was  evident  to  all,  no  sympathy  was  awakened 
for  me  in  the  hearts  of  the  other  members  of 
the  family.  My  father  and  mother  were  in 
the  habit  of  giving  way  to  her  in  almost  every- 
thing. Mother  had  done  it  more  to  avoid 
contention,  knowing  that  father  would  always 
take  this  sister's  part,  whether  she  was  right 
or  wrong.  The  gulf  widened  between  us  until 
it  afforded  me  great  relief  when  she  was  absent 


26    LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEULAH 

from  home  for  a  time.  The  partiality  shown 
to  her  was  used  of  God  to  reveal  inbred  sin  in 
my  heart,  as  it  required  a  continual  effort  to 
overcome  an  ill  feeling  that  wanted  to  spring 
up  there. 

We  lived  on  a  small  farm,  which  my  par- 
ents owned,  and  on  which  place  my  father 
operated  a  tannery.  Much  of  my  time  was 
spent  in  out-door  work.  There  were  seven 
sisters  and  three  brothers,  and  only  one  of  the 
latter  old  enough  to  be  of  much  help.  Hav- 
ing a  strong  constitution  in  my  early  life,  the 
heavy  burdens  naturally  fell  upon  me,  which 
slowly  undermined  my  health  and  laid  the 
foundation  for  years  of  suffering.  My  strength 
was  taxed  oftentimes  to  its  utmost  capacity  in 
lifting  loads,  frequently  sacks  of  grain,  which 
injured  my  blood  vessels.  My  sister  Lida, 
who  was  three  years  and  a  half  my  senior, 
was  proud  and  ambitious.  We  were  not  at 
all  congenial,  her  aspirations  being  entirely 
different  from  mine.  Nora,  who  was  the 
nearest  my  own  age,  stayed  with  my  married 
sister  most  of  the  time. 

Things  did  not  always  run  smoothly 
among  us,  and  there  were  often  divisions  and 
contentions  which  afforded  ample  opportunity 
to  develop  the  Christian  graces.  Rather  than 
strive,  I  learned  to  suffer,  knowing  that  the 
Bible  says,  resist  not  evil,  but  overcome  evil 


INWAED   CONFLICT  27 

with  good.  Mother  often  said  that  I  would 
not  take  my  own  part.  There  were  frightful 
uprisings  in  my  heart  which  required  a  con- 
stant effort  to  keep  down,  but  through  much 
prayer  I  found  the  grace  of  God  sufficient 

Much  was  being  said  about  our  education, 
but  my  father  often  remarked  that  it  was  use- 
less to  spend  money  on  me,  as  it  could  be  put 
to  better  use  in  educating  my  sisters,  whom 
he  considered  more  brilliant  than  I.  I  had 
only  been  to  school  a  few  months  in  all  my 
life,  while  my  sisters  and  brother  had  not  only 
attended  the  public  schools  regularly,  but  at 
different  times  had  attended  a  seminary  at 
Vanceburg.  When  they  were  away  at  school 
the  work  was  too  heavy  for  my  strength,  but 
it  had  to  be  done;  there  was  no  other  way. 

One  day  mother  said  the  way  was  open- 
ing for  Nora  and  myself  to  go  to  the  seminary. 
This  time  my  father  made  no  objection,  and 
in  less  than  a  fortnight  we  were  in  the  school. 
Having  looked  forward  to  this  event,  I  had 
studied  hard  to  prepare  for  it,  often  burning 
the  midnight  oil  over  my  books.  I  wanted  to 
become  a  school  teacher  that  I  might  earn 
some  money  for  myself,  and  have  the  oppor- 
tunity of  helping  others. 

Change  of  location  and  close  application 
to  study,  caused  me  to  somewhat  neglect  se- 
cret prayer  and  the  reading  of  God's  word, 


28    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

and  I  soon  discovered  that  some  of  the  joy 
had  gone  from  my  heart.  In  the  first  conflict 
with  the  enemy  he  tried  to  throw  me  suddenly 
from  the  track;  in  this  he  was  defeated.  Next 
he  tried  the  gradual  process,  and  had  well- 
nigh  succeeded  before  I  awakened  to  my  dan- 
ger. The  principal  of  the  school  noticed  my 
depression  and  tried  in  every  way  to  cheer  me 
up,  but  as  he  was  ignorant  of  the  real  cause, 
he  did  not  succeed.  He  asked  some  of  the 
students  to  take  me  out  to  gather  wild  flowers 
and  make  me  laugh,  if  possible.  But  of 
course  this  was  no  remedy  for  a  famishing  soul. 

Natural  timidity  caused  me  great  suffer- 
ing in  school,  and  the  principal  told  my  father 
that  I  must  overcome  it,  otherwise  progress 
in  my  studies  would  be  greatly  hindered,  but 
in  spite  of  all  efforts  to  be  an  overcomer,  for  a 
time,  at  least,  I  failed. 

At  the  close  of  the  term  we  returned 
home  for  the  summer.  I  had  planned  to  take 
the  teacher's  examination  in  July,  and  knew  it 
would  be  necessary  to  put  in  all  the  time  pos- 
sible in  preparation.  Two  weeks  before  the 
examination,  Bro.  W.  B.  Godbey  announced 
special  services  to  begin  in  the  neighboring 
school  house.  To  take  the  time  to  attend 
these  meetings,  I  feared  might  be  at  the  cost 
of  a  certificate,  but  after  taking  it  to  the  Lord 
in  prayer,  it  was  made  plain  what  to  do. 


INWABD   CONFLICT  29 

Matt.  6:33-34  was  given  me:  ' 'Seek  ye  first  the 
kingdom  of  God,  and  his  righteousness;  and 
all  these  things  shall  be  added  unto  you.  Be 
not  therefore  anxious  for  the  morrow,  for  the 
morrow  will  be  anxious  for  itself.  Sufficient 
unto  the  day  is  the  evil  thereof"  (R.  V.). 
Great  peace  came  with  the  decision  to  first 
look  after  the  welfare  of  my  soul,  by  attending 
the  services.  In  doing  this  I  was  wonderfully 
uplifted  and  blest,  and  later  had  the  help  and 
favor  of  God  in  getting  a  good  certificate.  An 
older  sister,  with  a  better  education  than 
I  had,  was  badly  in  need  of  spiritual  help,  and 
sacrificed  the  meetings  in  the  interest  of  her 
certificate  and  failed  in  the  examination. 

In  the  revival  meetings  I  won  some  im- 
portant victories.  An  old  man,  "Uncle  Gus 
Frizell, "as  he  was  called,  with  snow-white 
hair  and  beard,  came  a  long  way  to  attend 
this  revival.  He  often  led  the  prayer  and 
praise  meeting  preceding  the  sermon.  He 
asked  me  one  day  if  I  would  pray  that  even- 
ing if  he  should  call  on  me.  The  question 
was  very  unexpected,  and  before  I  had  time 
to  collect  my  thoughts  I  told  him  that  I  had 
said  I  would  never  refuse.  He  was  delighted. 
I  was  frightened,  and  with  stammering  tongue 
tried  to  tell  him  that  I  did  not  intend  to  give 
him  a  decisive  answer,  but  he  would  not  await 
a  further  explanation.  To  refuse  now  would 


30         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

be  to  lay  down  the  cross,  which  I  could  not 
think  of  doing,  for  I  knew  it  would  be  perilous. 
I  therefore  proceeded  to  put  a  few  sentences 
together,  to  memorize  for  the  occasion.  That 
evening,  when  called  upon  to  pray,  my  mind 
became  a  blank,  and  for  a  moment  I  was 
speechless.  Then  opening  my  mouth  in  the 
effort,  the  Holy  Spirit  came  to  my  help  and 
began  to  intercede  through  me,  astonishing 
me  more  perhaps  than  anyone  else.  Through 
this  intercession  a  picture  came  before  me  of 
human  beings  sporting  on  the  edge  of  an  aw- 
ful precipice,  ready  to  be  dashed  into  the 
abyss  below.  Forgetting  myself,  I  cried  to 
God  in  their  behalf.  Fear  and  timidity  were 
swept  away,  and  my  soul,  in  the  liberty  of  the 
Spirit,  mounted  heavenward.  Hallelujah!  I 
learned  the  secret  of  openly  addressing  God, 
and  never  committed  another  prayer.  Uncle 
Gus  did  not  call  upon  me  in  the  preliminary 
service,  but  waited  until  after  the  sermon, 
which  was  a  heart-searching  one.  There 
were  sobs  and  groans  from  the  penitents 
kneeling  at  the  altar. 

The  preacher  said  next  day,  "Daughter, 
you  made  a  wonderful  prayer."  I  tried  to 
tell  him  I  was  not  responsible  for  the  prayer, 
but  did  not  know  how  to  express  myself.  He 
smiled,  and  with  a  ''God  bless  you, "  went  on 
his  way.  My  cup  was  running  t>ver  with  joy 


INWAED   CONFLICT  31 

all  day,  for  another  battle  had  been  fought 
and  the  victory  won,  and  no  one  but  Jesus 
knew  how  great  had  been  the  conflict. 

The  school  directors  in  the  county  were 
engaging  their  teachers  for  the  fall  and  the 
winter  terms.  There  were  more  teachers  than 
there  were  schools.  There  was  an  out-of-the- 
way  district  among  the  hills,  where  different 
teachers  had  commenced  to  teach  and  failed 
to  finish  their  terms.  I  had  heard  of  this 
place  and  knew  that  the  school  was  by  no 
means  a  desirable  one,  but  asked  the  Lord  to 
give  it  to  me.  I  applied  and  succeeded  in 
getting  it.  No  boarding  place  could  be  found 
nearer  than  three  miles  from  the  school  house, 
and  the  road  was  rough  and  hilly.  Becoming 
weary  on  these  long  walks,  I  often  sat  down 
to  rest,  while  two  little  girls,  who  accompanied 
me,  would  run  ahead  and  gather  wild  flowers 
and  make  them  into  bouquets.  These  little 
bright-eyed  children,  innocent  and  playful  as 
squirrels,  I  would  find  awaiting  me  on  a  hill 
or  in  a  ravine,  cosily  seated  in  some  nook  of 
the  road.  When  I  overtook  them  they  would 
show  their  love  and  sympathy  by  giving  me 
their  prettiest  flowers  which  they  had  gathered 
along  the  way.  There  were  many  poisonous 
serpents ,  for  which  we  were  on  the  constant 
lookout.  The  Holy  Spirit  made  it  clear  to 
me  that  my  Christian  life  would  be  much  like 


32    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

this  road — rough,  long,  hilly,  beset  with  pois- 
onous serpents,  and  yet  occasionally  cheered 
with  love's  bright  faces  and  fragrant  flowers. 

The  school  house  was  an  old  log  cabin, 
with  a  floor  on  but  part  of  the  room.  There 
was  a  fireplace,  one  window,  and  a  few  old 
benches  without  backs.  The  school  was 
opened  each  morning  with  prayer  and  the 
reading  of  the  Scriptures.  The  first  day  of 
the  term  there  were  twenty-two  pupils  in  at- 
tendance, two  young  men  among  them,  one 
of  whom  brought  a  message  from  his  father, 
an  elderly  member  of  the  school  board,  saying 
that  he  wanted  his  children  to  study  geogra- 
phy, but  did  not  want  them  taught  that  the 
earth  is  round;  he  said N he  had  heard  enough 
of  that  nonsense.  The  young  man  said  that 
he  thought  "Pa  was  a  little  off,"  and  that  he 
proposed  to  accept  the  teachings  of  the  text- 
book. The  father's  confidence  was  soon 
gained  and  he  consented  to  my  teaching  what 
he  called  the  "new  theory." 

In  this  school  many  valuable  lessons  were 
learned,  especially  the  one  of  endurance. 
Sometimes,  when  my  strength  was  overtaxed, 
I  remembered  that  the  Scriptures  teach  that 
if  we  are  faithful  over  a  few  things,  we  will  be 
made  ruler  over  many  things  (Matt.  25:21). 

Soon  after  the  three  months'  term  closed, 
and  I  had  fifty  dollars  coming — all  my  own 


34    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

money.  Our  pastor  had  advised  my  father 
and  mother  to  move  to  Millersburg,  Ky., 
where  other  members  of  the  family,  as  well  as 
myself,  could  have  the  advantage  of  the 
Methodist  Female  College  located  there.  In- 
stead of  spending  the  money  as  I  had  planned, 
the  whole  amount  was  given  to  mother  to  be 
used  in  making  preparations  to  move.  There 
were  few  regrets  in  taking  the  last  look  at  the 
old  home,  as  my  life  there  had  been  one  of 
loneliness,  hardship  and  toil. 

The  trip  of  seventy  miles  was  made 
through  the  country  in  a  covered  wagon  in 
March,  1880,  our  goods  having  been  shipped 
ahead.  After  arriving,  at  Millersburg,  we 
were  invited  to  spend  a  few  days  at  the  female 
college.  When  I  heard  the  young  women 
talk  about  their  lessons  in  literature,  art,  music, 
the  languages,  science,  etc.,  it  started  anew 
my  thirst  for  knowledge.  How  it  thrilled 
me! 

On  a  seven- acre  lot  a  short  distance  from 
the  town,  Rev.  W.  B.  Godbey  was  building 
a  house.  The  lumber  was  shipped  from  some 
mountain  land  my  father  owned  in  northeast- 
ern Kentucky.  Here  the  preacher's  family 
was  to  live  while  his  son  "Jimmie"  attended 
the  Kentucky  Wesleyan  College,  a  school  for 
young  men,  also  located  at  Millersburg. 
1  'Jimmie"  was  an  apt  linguist,  and  was  pre- 


INWAED   CONFLICT  ^ 

paring  for  missionary  work  in  China,  but  took 
quick  consumption  and  died.  A  remarkable 
scene  took  place  at  his  bedside,  which  my 
mother  and  sister  witnessed.  "Jimmie"  was 
sanctified  a  few  days  before  his  death,  and 
died  in  the  first  glow  of  this  new  experience. 
The  Spirit  came  upon  his  father,  and  he,  vic- 
torious over  his  loss,  shouted  his  son  to  the 
other  shore.  Our  old  home  place  in  Lewis 
county  was  exchanged  for  the  Godbey  prop- 
erty, and  a  few  months  later  we  moved  into 
the  new  house  vacated  by  this  family.  After 
attending  college  for  about  ten  months,  I 
stopped  to  teach.  The  board  of  directors  of- 
fered me  the  school  in  the  district  in  which  we 
lived,  which  was  one  of  the  best  in  the  county 
and  sought  after  by  leading  teachers.  The 
Lord  helped  me  to  secure  a  first-grade  certi- 
ficate, which  it  was  necessary  to  have  in  order 
to  get  the  school. 

At  this  time  Aunt  Eliza  Mason,  who  lived 
in  Montana,  came  to  visit  us.  Two  of  my 
sisters  had  always  been  favorites  of  hers.  A 
few  days  after  her  arrival  I  overheard  her  tell 
mother  that  she  wanted  to  take  one  of  them 
back  with  her.  Mother  told  her  that  neither 
of  them  could  be  induced  to  go  so  far  from 
home,  and  that  Alma  would  b£  more  likely-  to 
go  than  any  of  her  other  children.  My  aunt 
said  she  would  prefer  to  take  one  of  the  other 


36         LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

girls,  but  rather  than  have  no  one  go  with  her, 
she  would  take  me. 

I  passed  through  one  of  the  greatest  trials 
of  my  life  that  day.  The  cords  that  had  so 
tenderly  bound  me  to  some  of  the  members 
of  the  family  were  gradually  being  severed.  I 
had  been  with  mother  to  C ,  and  on  ac- 
count of  some  misunderstanding  between  an 
older  sister  and  myself,  I  silently  wept  all  the 
way  there  and  back.  For  three  years  God 
had  been  preparing  me  for  the  separation,  by 
taking  me  through  some  trying  experiences 
with  different  members  of  the  family.  When 
my  aunt  returned  to  Montana,  she  went  with 
the  understanding  that  I  was  soon  to  follow. 
God's  will  was  made  very  plain  to  me.  He 
said  to  me  as  He  did  to  Abraham,  *  'Get  thee 
out  of  thine  own  country,  and  from  thy  father's 
house  into  a  land  which  I  will  show  thee. "  It 
has  always  been  God's  plan  when  people  be- 
gin life  in  His  service  to  take  them  away  from 
their  old  environments  and  place  them  where 
they  cannot  lean  upon  human  ties  and  rela- 
tionships. One  of  Satan's  most  successful 
schemes  to  defeat  God's  plans  in  the  lives  of 
people  is  to  cause  human  relationships  to  stand 
between  them  and  God.  If  a  man  misplaces 
his  affections,  Satan  has  won  the  day.  In 
human  ties  and  affections  there  is  great 
strength;  it  is  the  devil's  purpose  to  use  these 


ISTWAKD   CONFLICT  37 

for  the  upbuilding  of  his  kingdom  by  wresting 
them  from  their  proper  places  and  using  them 
to  defeat  God's  plans. 

There  is  no  subject  upon  which  more 
light  is  thrown  in  the  Word  than  the  kinsfolk 
question,  yet  most  professed  Christians  do  not 
seem  to  know  it.  It  is  hard  to  make  people 
believe,  and  especially  the  young,  that  human 
affections,  when  perverted,  make  parents  and 
loved  ones  the  most  deadly  foes  of  those  who 
are  trying  to  serve  the  Lord.  When  a  person 
turns  his  back  upon  the  world  to  follow  Christ, 
he  will  have  enough  to  do  to  keep  his  eyes 
upon  Jesus  and  make  the  race,  without  being 
dictated  to  by  carnal-minded  relatives  who 
are  unwilling  to  relinquish  their  claims  upon 
him.  It  is  impossible  to  serve  two  masters. 
One  can  readily  see  how  the  love  of  a  worldly- 
minded  mother  can  hinder  a  child  who  has 
chosen  a  course  in  life  entirely  different  from 
her  own  plans,  which  must  necessarily  be 
the  case  when  the  lone  way  of  the  Cross  is 
taken. 

After  returning  to  Montana,  my  aunt  en- 
gaged the  spring  term  of  the  Bannock  public 
school  for  me  at  sixty  dollars  a  month.  This 
was  twice  as  much  a  month  as  I  had  been 
receiving  in  Kentucky,  and  was  quite  an  in- 
ducement for  me  to  go ;  but  the  great  desire 
of  my  heart  was  to  be  used  of  the  Lord  in 


38         LOOKING  BA.CK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

that  new  country  as  a  missionary.  From  the 
moment  of  my  conversion  I  believed  that  my 
life  would  be  spent  in  a  special  way  in  the 
Lord's  service,  and  supposed  that  my  only  op- 
portunity would  be  in  some  home  or  foreign 
mission  field,  as  the  Methodist  church  had 
made  no  provision  for  women  to  preach.  That 
this  opening  was  of  God,  I  could  not  doubt, 
and  believed  it  to  be  the  first  step  to  a  life  of 
usefulness  in  the  Lord's  vineyard.  My  plans 
were  kept  for  a  time  from  father  and  mother, 
knowing  it  would  be  hard  for  them  to  let  me 
go.  At  last  I  told  them  of  my  intentions,  but 
it  was  some  time  before  they  were  convinced 
that  it  was  God's  will. 


CHAPTER   III 

LEAVING     HOME 

the  2oth  of  March,  1882,  my  ticket  was 
purchased  for  Dillon,  Montana,  at  a  cost 
of  one  hundred  and  six  dollars,  and  at  four 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon  I  started  alone  on  my 
long  journey.  I  was  yet  in  my  teens,  and 
previous  to  this  had  made  only  a  few  short 
trips  on  railroad  trains.  As  I  drove  away  to 
the  station,  I  looked  back  and  saw  mother 
standing  on  the  porch.  I  knew  she  was  won- 
dering if  she  would  ever  see  me  again.  Per- 
haps no  tie  was  ever  stronger  between  mother 
and  daughter  than  that  between  us.  I  prom- 
ised her  before  leaving  home  not  to  get  mar- 
ried until  she  saw  me  again,  and  that,  God 
willing,  I  would  return  in  two  years.  In  less 
than  an  hour  after  boarding  the  train,  I 
reached  Cynthiana,  where  I  met  Mrs.  Mar- 
tha Grinnan,  my  father's  only  sister,  who, 
with  a  distressed  look,  said :  '  'Child,  I  would 
rather  see  you  buried  than  taking  this  trip, 
for  then  I  would  know  where  your  corpse  lay. 
You  know  nothing  of  the  sin  of  this  wicked 
world,  and  your  parents  have  shown  no  wis- 
dom in  letting  you  take  such  a  journey  alone." 
I  told  her  that  I  was  not  alone;  that  I  had  a 

39 


40         LOOKING  BACK  FKOM  BETJLAH 

Companion  who  never  left  me.  She  was  not 
a  Christian  and  could  not  comprehend  this 
statement. 

After  the  train  started  I  could  no  longer 
restrain  my  tears,  and  during  the  next  few 
minutes  my  whole  life  passed  in  a  panorama 
before  me.  In  this  view  God  showed  me  how 
His  providences  and  mercies  had  overruled 
and  worked  out  for  good  all  the  hardships  and 
struggles  that  I  had  had  in  the  past.  It  was 
a  wonderful  experience  in  which  my  life  .was 
seen  in  flashes,  yet  so  distinct  and  perfect  was 
each  shifting  scene,  that  it  will  never  be  effaced 
from  memory.  It  closed  with  mother's  pale 
face  and  father's  troubled  look  when  he  trem- 
blingly bade  me  good-by.  It  was  hard  to  leave 
my  little  brother  Charles;  his  pitiful  look,  as 
I  drove  away,  remained  with  me.  We  all 
knew  that  God  had  set  him  apart  to  preach 
the  Gospel,  this  knowledge  being  imparted  to 
us  while  he  was  yet  in  his  infancy.  Soon 
there  would  be  hundreds  of  miles  between  us. 
All  this  came  with  full  force  against  my  soul, 
and  following  it  came  thoughts  of  the  future. 
The  West  would  bring  new  experiences.  We 
had  heard  many  stories  of  wild  Western  life, 
and  when  my  aunt  told  of  the  hostilities  of 
the  Indians,  it  stirred  me  to  the  depths.  I 
dreaded  new  scenes  and  places.  There  had 
been  so  many  dark  pictures  drawn  of  the 


LEAVING  HOME  41 

rough  Western  life,  of  Indians,  Mormons, 
pickpockets,  and  fiends  with  traps  for  girls, 
that  they  almost  caused  my  heart  to  fail  me. 
But  the  Comforter  was  near  and  whispered, 
'  'Let  not  your  heart  be  troubled,  neither  let 
it  be  afraid.  I  will  not  leave  you  comfortless; 
I  will  come  to  you.  Peace  I  leave  with  you, 
my  peace  I  give  unto  you ;  not  as  the  world 
giveth,  give  I  unto  you."  Seven  years  before 
I  had  committed  to  memory  the  I4th  chapter 
of  John,  in  which  these  verses  are  found,  and 
had  often  been  comforted  by  them,  but  never 
did  they  come  to  me  with  such  meaning  as 
now.  Not  to  be  troubled,  nor  afraid,  nor  left 
comfortless — He  would  give,  but  not  as  the 
world  giveth !  Wonderful  words !  Earth  has 
never  heard  such  a  farewell  as  this  spoken  by 
Jesus  to  His  disciples.  Surely  these  are  the 
sweetest  words  ever  spoken  in  a  world  where 
friends  must  part! 

Being  greatly  comforted  I  went  on  my 
journey  more  firmly  established  than  ever 
before. 

On  the  omnibus  at  Cincinnati,  just  as 
Kentucky  was  receding  from  view,  a  bold 
young  man  crowded  me  in  the  seat,  for  which 
there  was  no  necessity,  as  there  was  plenty 
of  room.  The  Lord  helped  me  to  rebuke 
him.  I  told  him  that  if  there  was  not  room 
enough  for  him,  I  would  see  that  the  driver 


42    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

made  it  for  him  on  the  outside.  Congratula- 
ting myself  on  this  little  act  of  heroism,  I  felt 
strengthened  for  the  battles  ahead. 

When  near  Indianapolis,  a  fearful  rain- 
storm delayed  the  train  for  twenty  hours. 
Our  coach  was  filled  with  passengers,  and  my 
seat  had  to  be  shared  with  some  one  else. 

Reaching  St.  Louis  out  of  time,  I  had  to 
spend  the  day  in  the  union  depot,  which 
proved  to  be  one  of  the  most  wearisome  of 
my  life.  Great  crowds  were  surging  to  and 
fro,  and  if  I  left  my  seat  I  was  not  likely  to 
get  another  until  an  outgoing  train  was  called. 
I  had  not  slept  for  forty- eight  hours,  and 
went  to  the  ticket  window  to  secure  a  berth  in 
a  sleeper.  With  difficulty  I  passed  through 
the  immense  throng.  I  carried  two  pocket- 
books,  and  in  making  change,  I  left  the  one 
containing  my  railroad  ticket  and  twenty  dol- 
lars, in  the  window,  not  discovering  the  fact 
until  I  returned  to  the  waiting  room.  The 
perspiration  stood  on  my  brow,  and  my  heart 
beat  as  though  it  would  burst  through  its  walls. 
Uttering  a  prayer  to  God  to  save  me  from  the 
disaster  of  losing  it,  I  rushed  back  and  found  it 
where  I  had  left  it.  A  hundred  hands  could 
have  picked  it  up  and  no  one  would  have  been 
the  wiser.  Nothing  less  than  a  miracle  had 
been  wrought  in  my  behalf,  which  greatly  in- 
creased my  faith  in  Him  who  had  promised 


LEAVING    HOME  43 

never  to  leave  nor  forsake  me.  My  train  was 
at  last  called. 

The  next  morning  our  train  was  only  sev- 
enty miles  from  St.  Louis,  where  there  was  a 
further  delay  of  ten  hours.  After  arriving  at 
Omaha  I  had  to  wait  over  night  for  the  west- 
bound train. 

On  reaching  the  desolate  wastes  of  Wyo- 
ming, a  feeling  of  loneliness  and  fear  came 
over  me.  On  the  western  border  of  the  state 
a  number  of  cowboys  boarded  the  train.  I 
was  the  only  woman  in  the  car,  and  my  tears 
flowed  in  spite  of  all  efforts  to  restrain  them. 
Having  upset  a  bottle  of  camphor  in  my  lunch 
basket,  and  learned  that  meals  were  one  dol- 
lar each  at  the  rough  station  houses,  I  was 
wondering  what  to  do,  when  a  fine-appearing 
old  gentleman  who  had  taken  occasion  to  call 
my  attention  to  the  scenery  along  the  road, 
asked  me  if  I  would  accept  a  box  of  crackers 
and  cheese,  which  were  exceptionally  nice .  I 
took  the  box  with  thanks  as  coming  from  the 
Lord. 

We  were  not  far  from  Ogden,  Utah,  a 
Mormon  city,  where  I  had  been  told,  men 
would  stand  on  the  platform  at  the  depot  and 
watch  for  young  girls  with  a  view  of  making 
them  polygamous  wives .  I  learned  afterwards 
that  they  were  not  so  openly  bold  as  this,  ex- 
cept on  the  arrival  of  immigrant  bands  of  Mor- 


44    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

mons,  when  they  took  wives  from  among  them. 
But  at  the  time,  the  thought  of  having  a  half 
dozen  marriage  proposals  at  the  depot  and 
being  carried  off  bodily  was  dreadful.  There 
had  been  so  many  delays  on  the  road,  I  hoped 
there  would  be  none  in  this  city.  Before 
reaching  the  place  a  young  man  took  a  seat 
near  me.  He  had  a  kind  face,  and  noticing 
the  card  on  my  valise  he  showed  me  his  ticket 
to  the  same  destination.  The  fear  of  the 
place  partly  left  me  when  I  thought  that  he 
might  assist  me  in  changing  cars.  On  the 
arrival  of  the  train,  he  courteously  guided 
me  through  a  motley-looking  crowd  to  the 
waiting  room,  where  I  learned  that  a  washout 
on  the  road  would  delay  the  north-bound 
train  twenty-four  hours.  The  young  man 
took  the  opportunity  this  delay  afforded  him 
to  visit  Salt  Lake  City,  and  was  soon  on  board 
a  train  for  that  place. 

Having  inquired  about  the  hotels,  I  se- 
cured a  room  in  one  that  was  well  recom- 
mended. While  walking  to  it  I  was  conscious 
that  evil  eyes  were  upon  me.  I  engaged  a 
room,  and  when  just  about  to  enter  it,  a  feel- 
ing of  fear  came  over  me,  but  lifting  my  heart 
to  God  in  prayer  I  was  soon  composed,  and 
retired  for  the  night,  knowing  my  security  was 
in  God.  Awakening  the  next  morning,  I  was 
more  frightened  than  ever.  Thinking  per- 


LEAVING  HOME  45 

haps  a  walk  around  the  block  would  give  me 
some  relief,  I  put  on  my  cloak  and  hat  and 
stood  ready  to  go,  with  an  ill-boding  hesita- 
tion, when  there  was  a  knock  at  the  door. 
After  a  moment's  delay,  thinking  perhaps 
it  might  be  the  chambermaid,  I  summoned 
courage  enough  to  unlock  the  door.  There 
stood  before  me  a  tall,  well-dressed,  dark- 
complexioned  man,  whom  I  took  to  be  a  po- 
lygamist,  who,  in  a  smooth,  soft  voice,  re- 
quested the  privilege  of  speaking  to  me. 
Closing  the  door  in  his  face,  and  locking  it 
quickly,  I  sank  prostrate  on  the  floor.  For  a 
moment  I  was  terror-stricken;  in  fact,  there 
are  no  words  to  express  my  feelings,  when  a 
voice  whispered,  ''Where  is  your  God?"  I 
was  soon  weeping  for  joy,  realizing  that  the 
eternal  God  was  my  refuge  and  underneath 
were  the  everlasting  arms.  Rising  to  my  feet, 
reassured,  I  boldly  opened  the  door  and 
walked  out  into  the  hall  to  look  for  the  in- 
truder, but  he  was  nowhere  to  be  seen.  The 
following  hymn,  which  I  had  committed  years 
before,  strengthened  me  now: 

"My  soul  be  on  thy  guard; 
Ten  thousand  foes  arise; 
The  hosts  of  sin  are  pressing  hard 
To  draw  thee  from  the  skies. 


46    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

"Oh  watch,  and  fight,  and  pray; 

The  battle  ne'er  give  o'er; 
Eenew  it  boldly  every  day, 
And  help  divine  implore." 

Only  a  part  of  the  passengers  could  be 
accomodated  on  the  first  train  out.  Gate 
officers  were  examining  the  dates  on  the  tick- 
ets and  permitting  only  those  to  go  who  had 
been  waiting  the  longest.  Fearing  that  I 
would  be  left,  I  asked  the  Lord  to  touch  the 
hearts  of  these  men  so  they  would  let  me  go. 
After  examining  my  ticket,  they  said,  '  There 
are  others  ahead  of  you,  but  you  may  go  any- 
how. " 

On  the  stage  from  Dillon,  Montana,  to 
Bannock,  there  was  but  one  other  passenger, 
a  man  who  was  rather  drowsy,  yet  somewhat 
communicative.  He  told  me  his  name,  but 
asked  me  not  to  mention  it  at  Bannock,  as  he 
wished  to  conceal  himself  a  few  days  before 
meeting  his  sister,  whom  he  had  not  seen  for 
many  years.  As  soon  as  I  met  my  aunt  she 
described  this  man  and  asked  me  if  such  a 
person  was  on  the  stage;  she  said  his  sister 
was  expecting  him  and  would  be  disappointed 
if  he  did  not  come.  A  few  minutes  after  ar- 
riving he  committed  suicide  in  a  hotel.  The 
grief  of  the  sister,  who  had  not  yet  met  her 
brother,  can  better  be  imagined  than  told. 


LEAVING    HOME 


47 


She  now  had  to  look  upon  him  in  his  own 
blood,  and  trembling  before  the  awful  sin  that 
was  upon  his  departed  spirit.  The  same  day 
a  miner  was  found  dead  in  his  cabin  near 
town,  and  from  all  appearances,  he,  too,  had 
taken  his  own  life.  Some  bitter  disappoint- 


ROCKY    MOUNTAIN   STAGE 


48         LOOKING  BACK   FEOM   BETJLAH 

ments  in  earthly  things  had  led  to  these  tragic 
ends,  which  were  common  occurrences  in  early 
Western  life.  ' 'He  died  with  his  boots  on," 
was  said  of  such .  Two  days  later,  the  people 
of  the  town  performed  the  last  sad  rites  for 
the  two  suicides  that  man  performs  for  man. 
I,  with  my  aunt,  attended  the  double  funeral 
—the  closing  scene  of  these  two  lives.  I  could 
not  help  but  think,  while  in  the  solemn  pro- 
cession to  the  graveyard,  of  the  homes  some- 
where that  were  once  brightened  with  their 
baby  innocence  and  boyhood  life;  of  the  bond 
of  brothers  and  sisters  and  the  sweet  friend- 
ships of  early  days,  and  of  the  time  when  they 
were  fathers'  and  mothers'  hope  and  joy.  The 
remorseful  soul  haunted  by  such  memories 
hastens  to  acts  of  desperation.  Persons  who 
committed  suicide  in  these  early  days  often 
destroyed  every  trace  that  would  lead  to  the 
discovery  of  their  relatives,  doubtless  hoping 
they  would  never  hear  of  their  awful  end. 
Probably  it  were  better  that  they  never  knew 
than  to  weep  over  the  irreparable  fate  of 
brother  and  son.  The  winds  among  the  pines 
sing  their  requiems  over  these  poor  unfortu- 
nates of  the  West,  and  the  Rocky  Mountains 
gather  a  drapery  of  shadows  about  their 
graves.  Nature  closes  her  lips  and  stands 
silently  aloof,  far  distant  from  the  old  Eastern 
homes,  and  keeps  many  dark  secrets  of  lost 


LEAVING    HOME  49 

boys — and  girls — in  her  bosom.  I  wept  over 
what  I  heard  and  saw  of  the  slain  of  sin,  as 
the  dead  were  laid  away  on  the  mountain-side 
to  await  the  Judgment  morn.  I  longed  more 
than  ever,  to  be  used  of  God  to  help  save  the 
perishing. 

Bannock  was  the  center  of  the  early  min- 
ing activities  of  Montana.  Here  still  stood, 
in  Hangman's  Gulch  above  the  town,  the 
scaffold  on  which  the  Vigilantes  hung  some  of 
the  noted  road  agents ,  who  were  the  terror  of 
the  miner  with  his  booty.  They  held  him  up 
in  the  crowded  stage  coach,  or  alone  with  his 
pack  animal  on  some  mountain  trail.  I  now 
saw  in  man,  as  never  before,  the  thirst  for 
gold  and  the  curse  it  brings.  Many  sacrifice 
honor,  virtue  and  principle  to  possess  it,  and 
like  Judas,  sell  out  their  Christ  for  money. 
Paul  said,  "The  love  of  money  is  a  root  of  all 
kinds  of  evil:  which  some  reaching  after  have 
been  led  astray  from  the  faith,  and  have 
pierced  themselves  through  with  many  sor- 
rows" (i  Tim.  6: 10,  R.  V.  ). 


CHAPTER     IV 

TEACHING     IN      MONTANA INCIDENTAL     EXPERI- 
ENCES  MASONIC   BALL CARD  PLAYING 

pHE  next  Monday  after  my  arrival  I  be- 
**•  gan  teaching  in  Bannock.  As  was  my 
custom,  I  opened  the  school  daily  with  prayer 
and  the  reading  of  the  Scriptures.  There  had 
never  been  any  objections  made  to  this  in  any 
of  the  schools  where  I  had  taught  before.  I 
soon  learned  that  the  board  of  trustees  were 
very  much  displeased  because  the  Bible  was 
being  read  in  the  school.  My  uncle  predicted 
that  they  would  make  me  trouble.  I  contin- 
ued, however,  until  they  came  to  see  me  and 
requested  me  not  to  proceed  in  the  course  I 
had  begun.  They  had  sent  me  a  message 
previous  to  this,  which  I  ignored.  I  knew 
that  God  had  led  me  and  that  His  blessing 
was  upon  me  in  the  opening  exercises  of  the 
school,  but  Satan  was  wily  and  brought  strong 
influences  to  bear  upon  me.  First,  he  ar- 
gued, I  was  far  from  home  and  without 
money;  then  I  had  been  promised  the  winter 
term  and  also  an  increase  of  wages  from  sixty 
to  eighty  dollars  a  month ;  moreover,  there 
were  those  who  were  urging  me  to  comply 

50 


TEACHING    EXPERIENCES  51 

with  the  request  of  these  ungodly  trustees, 
and  I  yielded  to  their  entreaties.  I  had  no 
sooner  done  so  than  darkness  came  over  my 
soul.  Judging  from  my  feelings,  Satan  must 
have  had  a  jubilee  in  the  pit  over  his  victory. 
The  children,  who  at  the  beginning  of  the 
term  were  well  behaved,  now  became  unruly, 
and  everything  went  wrong  the  rest  of  the 
term.  I  wept  bitter  tears,  believing  God 
would  have  come  to  my  help  had  I  but  perse- 
vered on  the  right  line.  I  knew  that  my  pun- 
ishment would  be  just  if  1  were  not  employed 
to  teach  the  winter  term.  I  believed  that  the 
Lord  would  teach  me  a  lesson  that  would  not 
soon  be  forgotten,  and  so  it  proved.  The 
board  engaged  a  young  man  to  teach  the 
school.  This  left  me  without  employment. 

One  stormy  afternoon,  some  months  later 
(Saturday,  March  3d,  1883),  I  was  sitting  on 
a  couch  by  the  window,  somewhat  depressed 
in  spirit.  A  young  lady,  who  had  just  come 
from  Ohio,  and  the  young  man  who  was  then 
teaching  the  school,  were  present,  They 
were  engaged  in  a  conversation  that  did  not 
interest  me.  Many  thoughts  were  going 
through  my  mind  as  I  wondered  how  much 
longer  my  punishment  would  last.  Looking 
through  the  falling  snow  without,  I  saw  a 
young  man  approaching  the  gate  on  horse- 
back. He  dismounted  and  came  to  the  door. 


52    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

As  I  opened  it  and  looked  into  his  face,  I 
could  hardly  speak.  The  school  teacher,  see- 
ing my  confusion,  invited  him  in.  He  intro- 
duced himself  as  Kent  White,  and  said  he 
had  come  to  fill  an  appointment  for  Rev. 
Van  Orsdale.  He  had  been  directed  to  my 
uncle's  home,  where  the  ministers  were  usu- 
ally entertained. 

An  experience  two  years  before  in  Ken- 
tucky, somewhat  prepared  me  for  this  meet- 
ing. A  young  man  of  good  character,  who 
owned  a  blue-grass  farm,  came  to  our  neigh- 
borhood. His  business  detained  him  for  a 
number  of  weeks.  During  the  time  quite  a 
friendship  sprang  up  between  us.  I  had  not 
sought  to  know  God's  will  concerning  it,  and 
He  rebuked  me  for  allowing  an  affection  to 
be  formed  for  another,  even  in  a  small  degree, 
without  consulting  Him.  I  had  a  sister  away 
teaching  school  who  was  to  be  home  soon.  I 
had  an  impression  that  when  he  met  her  his 
attentions  to  me  would  cease,  which  proved 
true.  From  this  experience,  God  taught  me, 
as  never  before,  the  importance  of  being 
wholly  led  by  His  Spirit  in  the  formation  of 
all  my  friendships.  In  a  time  of  heart  search- 
ing I  received  the  assurance  that  He  would 
choose  my  life's  companion  and  save  me  from 
the  hurtful  love  scrapes  and  painful  uncer- 
tainties that  young  people  are  subject  to  when 


TEACHING   EXPEKIENCES  53 

God    is    not    consulted    about    such    affairs. 

The  school  teacher  was  entertaining  the 
minister  when  the  young  lady  beckoned  me  fo 
the  dining  room.  She  said,  "Now  don't  you 
fall  in  love  with  the  young  preacher,  for  I  will 
guarantee  he  is  married."  I  said,  "He  is  not 
married."  She  asked,  "How  do  you  know? 
He  is  a  stranger  to  you. "  I  made  no  further 
reply,  for  he  was  indeed  a  stranger  to  me;  I 
had  never  seen  him  before  nor  ever  heard  of 
him,  but  it  came  to  me  when  I  met  him  at 
the  door  that  he  was  to  be  my  companion  in 
life,  which  caused  my  confusion.  So  deeply 
was  I  impressed  by  the  Spirit  with  the  convic- 
tion that  he  was  to  be  my  husband  that  I 
stayed  up  that  night  in  meditation  and  prayer 
till  one  o'clock.  So  definite  were  some  of 
God's  manifestations  to  me  in  the  next  few 
days,  that  I  knew  if  His  plans  were  carried 
out,  some  day  we  would  be  united  in  mar- 
riage. But  five  years  were  to  pass  before  that 
time  came,  with  only  an  occasional  letter  be- 
tween us.  As  the  fulfilment  of  God's  prom- 
ises to  Abraham  was  preceded  by  great  trials 
of  faith,  so  He  dealt  with  me,  building  me  up 
in  Himself,  before  He  brought  about  our  en- 
gagement and  marriage. 

Mr.  White  remained  at  Bannock  three 
days.  Before  leaving  he  proposed  to  supply 
the  literature  for  a  Sabbath-school  if  I  would 


54         LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BEULAH 

start  one  in  the  church  that  had  been  almost 
deserted.  The  children  were  assembled  on 
the  following  Sabbath,  and  not  being  able  to 
get  anyone  to  assist  me,  I  taught  the  whole 
school  in  one  class.  This  I  did  for  a  number 
of  months,  when  I  left  to  teach  a  district 
school  near  Dillon,  and  the  Sabbath-school 
was  disbanded. 

After  the  lesson  God  had  taught  me  in 
my  first  experience  as  a  school  teacher  in  Mon- 
tana, there  was  no  hesitation  to  open  school 
daily  with  devotional  exercises,  regardless  of 
the  consequences.  Later,  as  will  be  seen,  I 
waged  a  battle  with  the  enemies  of  Christian 
teaching  in  another  school  and  won.  '  Thanks 
be  unto  God,  which  always  causeth  us  to  tri- 
umph in  Christ." 

At  the  close  of  this  school  I  accepted  an 
invitation  to  attend  the  Methodist  Conference 
at  Butte  City  in  August,  1883,  where  I  was 
entertained  by  one  of  my  uncles,  then  in  that 
city.  Here  I  again  met  Mr.  White,  who  was 
making  preparations  to  attend  the  University 
of  Denver.  He  spent  one  day  at  Dillon  on 
his  way  to  Colorado.  This  was  the  last  we 
saw  of  each  other  for  nearly  two  years. 

During  the  fall  and  winter  following  this 
conference,  I  taught  a  school  eight  miles  north 
of  Dillon,  boarding  at  the  home  of  J .  F. 
Bishop.  Mr.  Bishop  was  a  Republican,  and 


TEACHING  EXPEEIENCES  55 

formerly  of  New  York.  He  was  an  inter- 
esting conversationalist  and  well  posted  in  the 
political  history  of  the  country.  In  the  most 
animated  conversation  he  showed  the  true 
characteristics  of  a  Northern  man.  Well  for- 
tified in  his  position,  he  maintained  his  com- 
posure and  never  yielded  a  point.  As  a  typi- 
cal Southerner,  I  saw  in  our  natures  the  two 
forces  that  were  arrayed  against  each  other 
in  the  Civil  War,  and  that  caused  the  first 
gun  to  be  fired  at  Fort  Sumpter.  This  was 
my  first  association  with  Northern  people.  In 
my  childhood  I  was  taught  to  look  upon  them 
with  suspicion,  and  upon  anyone  wearing  the 
so-called  "Lincoln  Blue"  as  an  enemy  and  a 
traitor.  The  South  at  that  time,  with  great 
loss  of  blood  and  property,  had  just  staggered 
from  the  battle-field  in  the  bitterness  of  defeat, 
with  what  they  considered  the  dreadful  cal- 
amity of  having  a  race  of  freed  slaves  among 
them.  In  the  old  Kentucky  home  I  had  often 
listened  to  the  rehearsal  of  war  stories  told  by 
men  who  had  worn  the  gray,  as  they  gathered 
around  our  fireside. 

They  believed  they  had  been  wronged  by 
the  North,  and  it  was  impossible  to  make 
them  see  that  it  was  the  hand  of  God  that 
had  broken  the  shackles  from  four  millions  of 
slaves.  In  conversation  with  Mr.  Bishop  I 
saw  through  the  eye-glass  of  one  south  of  the 


56         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

Mason  and  Dixon's  line,  and  tried  to  be  loyal 
to  my  father's  convictions.  But  now,  realiz- 
ing, more  fully  that  ours  was  a  lost  cause,  in 
the  ruling  of  Providence,  I  found  my  preju- 
dices gradually  giving  away.  I  wrote  to  my 
father  telling  him  that  I  had  come  to  the  con- 
clusion that  Abraham  Lincoln  was  not  such  a 
bad  man  after  all.  In  his  reply,  he  said, 
"What  kind  of  people  are  you  among  out 
there?  I  want  you  to  come  home.  I  would 
as  soon  you  were  in  Iceland,  among  devils." 

During  this  winter  I  did  some  personal 
work  in  revival  meetings  at  Dillon.  There 
were  some  genuine  conversions.  The  Lord 
clearly  helped  me  to  lead  one  woman  into  the 
light;  her  testimony  and  shining  face  were 
evidence  to  all  that  a  change  had  taken  place 
in  her  heart.  This  woman  lived  only  a  few 
weeks  after  her  conversion.  The  evangelists 
frequently  called  upon  me  to  pray,  and  it  was 
no  unusual  thing  for  persons  to  take  me  by 
the  hand  and  tell  me  how  much  they  had 
been  benefited  by  my  prayers.  Among  them 

was  C B ,    an   ex-prize   fighter,   who 

said,  with  tears  trickling  down  his  great  cheeks, 
that  his  heart  had  never  been  touched  before 
he  heard  me  pray.  An  old  lady  came  to 
my  uncle's  house  to  tell  me  how  I  had  helped 
her.  These  incidents  so  encouraged  me 
that  I  would  gladly  have  given  my  whole 


TEACHING    EXPEKIENCES  57 

time  to  the  work,  if  the  way  had   been   open. 

The  people  generally  were  given  up  to 
worldliness,  and  from  time  to  time  devised 
plans  to  draw  me  into  their  social  circles. 
Card-playing  and  dancing  were  the  popular 
amusements  of  the  day.  And  these  people, 
with  but  few  exceptions,  were  all  church  mem- 
bers. In  almost  every  home  a  pack  of  cards 
could  be  found.  The  sight  of  them  always 
brought  to  my  mind  a  picture  of  their  associa- 
tion with  saloons,  brothels  and  gambling  hells. 
Mother  had  taught  me  to  shun  cards  as  I 
would  a  poisonous  serpent.  I  wondered  how 
anybody  who  had  any  respect  for  himself  or 
loved  ones,  could  have  them  about. 

The  sin  of  gambling,  the  art  of  getting 
something  for  nothing,  is  rapidly  on  the  in- 
crease in  the  land.  Nine-tenths  of  the  defal- 
cations, embezzlements  and  similar  expres- 
sions of  official  dishonesty,  are  found  to  take 
their  rise  in  some  form  of  deliberate  gambling. 
Dishonesty,  deception  and  trickery  are  early 
hatched  out  in  the  heart  by  cards.  Gamblers 
have  told  us  with  tears  that  their  bondage 
was  greater  and  their  condition  more  hopeless 
than  that  of  the  habitual  drunkard.  It  is  esti- 
mated that  nine-tenths  of  all  gambling  is  done 
at  the  card  table,  which  is  the  most  common, 
potent  and  subtle  instrument  of  hell  for  this 
nefarious  work.  Satan  owns  the  cards.  He 


58    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

has  adopted  them  as  an  agent  of  destruction. 
Look  at  them  as  they  are  played  with  a  ner- 
vous twitch  and  dealt  out  with  an  oath,  their 
secret  habitation  an  old  tobacco  pocket! 
When  in  use  they  are  encircled  with  tobacco 
smoke  and  the  breath  of  stomachs  loaded  with 
whisky  and  beer.  They  move  where  the  be- 
ings of  men  are  wrought  up  to  an  awful  ten- 
sion, where  the  thunder  clouds  of  wrath 
gather,  where  the  lightning  of  the  eye  of  anger 
flashes,  and  where  is  heard  in  muttered  profa- 
nation the  name  of  the  Most  High.  More 
than  homes  and  fortunes  are  lost  at  cards. 
Men  gamble  away  virtue,  honor  and  manhood, 
yea,  even  their  own  souls.  On  the  cards  we 
can  read  dishonesty,  hate,  revenge,  murder,  sui- 
cide and  lost  souls.  Is  it  any  wonder  that  we 
are  told  that  sailors  in  shipwreck  and  soldiers 
going  into  battle,  are  seen  to  stealthily  throw 
away  their  cards  ?  They  shrink  from  going 
into  the  presence  of  death  with  the  "devil's 
prayer-book"  on  their  persons.  Is  not  the 
very  sight  of  them  to  be  detested  by  good 
people,  and  should  not  the  social  game,  the 
great  feeder  of  the  gambling  house,  receive 
the  strongest  denunciation? 

We  met  young  women  who  were  em- 
ployed to  teach  the  public  schools,  who  sat  up 
until  two  and  three  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
playing  "progressive  euchre."  Sam  Jones 


TEACHING    EXPERIENCES  59 

more  appropriately  called  it  "progressive 
damnation."  The  young  converts  from  the 
revival  meetings,  of  course  were  unable  to 
stand  against  the  tide  of  worldliness,  kept  up 
by  the  dancing,  card-playing,  hypocritical 
church  members  who  were  like  an  infectious 
sore  on  the  community.  Then,  too,  no  sooner 
had  the  revival  fires  subsided  in  a  measure, 
than  they  began  their  church  fairs  and  festi- 
vals. When  the  cry  goes  forth,  "Behold  the 
Bridegroom  cometh, "  such  people  will  be 
found  among  those  calling  for  the  rocks  and 
hills  to  fall  on  them. 

A  man  once  prominent  in  the  gambling 
world,  who  traversed  the  continent  and  crossed 
the  ocean  in  his  gambling  tours,  at  one  time 
was  asked  to  preach  a  week  in  one  of  our  mis- 
sions. He  set  forth  the  midnight  horrors  of 
blood  and  anguish  found  in  a  gambler's  life. 
For  the  good  of  those,  and  especially  parents 
who  believe  there  is  not  much  harm  in  the 
social  game  of  cards,  we  print  at  excerpt  from 
his  biography. 

'  'While  in  the  city  of  Cincinnati  I  con- 
tracted the  evil  habits  that  afterwards  desig- 
nated me  as  the  devil's  own.  I  knew  not  the 
taste  of  intoxicants,  and  did  not  know  one 
card  from  another  when  I  left  my  Virginia 
home.  I  was  taught  to  shuffle  and  play  my 


60         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

first  game  of  cards  in  a  Presbyterian  home,  by 
a  member  of  that  church,  a  daughter  of  that 
home.  My  first  night  in  this  home,  where  I 
lived  during  the  six  years  of  my  stay  in  that 
city,  cards  were  played.  I  do  not  think  it 
prevaricating,  or  in  the  least  an  extravagant 
assertion  to  say  there  were  cards  played  in 
that  so-called  Christian  home  every  night 
(Sundays  excepted)  the  year  round.  I  never 
heard  a  prayer  offered  during  my  stay  there. 
Well  do  I  remember  the  night  of  March  2ist. 
The  father  sat  by  the  bright  lamp;  mother, 
son  and  two  daughters  at  the  card  table,  and 
I  sat  off  by  myself,  reading  a  book,  trying  to 
bury  in  thought  the  scenes  that  imaginatively 
arose  before  my  gaze,  when  Miss  Nellie  said, 
Terhaps  the  young  gentleman  will  take  part 
in  the  game. '  'No, '  said  I,  'I  don't  know 
anything  about  cards;  was  never  allowed  to 
handle  them  in  my  home,  as  my  people  are 
Christians  and  members  of  the  church. '  This 
was  a  Schley  bomb  in  the  Presbyterian  camp. 
All  eyes  were  riveted  on  me  at  once.  'Well, ' 
said  the  strike-back  girl,  'we  are  Christians 
and  members  of  the  church,  and  if  it  were 
sinful  to  play  a  social  game  of  cards,  we  cer- 
tainly would  not  indulge. '  'Very  well,  excuse 
me;  I  am  no  Christian,  but  I  don't  play  cards.' 
'You're  excusable, '  'Yes'um. ' 

'  'Three  months  rolled  by.     I   learned   to 


TEACHING    EXPEBIESTCES  61 

love  the  family,  especially  the  girls.  Night 
after  night  they  pleaded  with  me  to  take  part 
in  what  they  termed  their  innocent  amuse- 
ment. At  the  end  of  the  third  month,  I  took 
my  seat  at  the  table  by  the  side  of  her  whose 
jeweled  hand  shuffled  and  selected  my  first 
card  to  play.  There  was  no  attraction  in  the 
game  for  me,  because  of  my  blindness  to  see 
through  or  comprehend.  But  oh!  the  words 
of  instruction  from  Nellie's  lips  were  music  to 
my  ear;  her  gentle  smiles  to  me  were  enough 
to  bleach  the  ace  of  spades.  As  time  passed 
on  from  that  night,  more  and  more  I  thought 
of  and  enjoyed  the  company  of  the  girls  and 
the  game.  At  length  their  skill  as  carders 
was  not  sufficient  to  entertain  me,  hence  I 
sought  higher  game.  I  went  to  the  bar  room 
for  amusement,  which  led  to  drink,  then  to 
drunkenness,  blood  and  death.  While  no  one 
fills  the  grave  from  my  hand,  I  have  heard 
the  crack  of  the  revolver  around  the  card 
table,  where  parlor- manufactured  gamblers 
meet.  I  have  seen  men  of  noble  parentage 
go  down  in  blood;  I  have  heard  the  shrieks  of 
the  poor  dying  gambler  as  he  closed  his  eyes 
to  open  them  in  hell.  When  I  left  Cincin- 
nati, I  left  as  a  gambler,  educated  as  such  in 
a  Christian  (?)  family." 

At   Bannock,   I  came    very    near    being 


62         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

entrapped.  There  was  to  be  a  great  Ma- 
sonic ball  in  town.  Supper  was  to  be  served. 
People  came  for  miles  to  be  present,  and  all 
the  hotels  and  boarding  houses  were  full.  A 
friend  of  my  uncle's  came  to  spend  the  earlier 
part  of  the  evening  with  us.  He  did  not 
care  to  go  to  the  ball,  but  insisted  on  our 
going  with  him  to  the  supper.  With  reluc- 
tance I  consented  to  go,  but  felt  much  out  of 
place,  and  soon  regretted  that  I  was  there. 
Supper  over, 

"Music  rose  with  its  voluptuous  swell, " 

as  the  sensual  poet  expressed  it,  thereby  ac- 
knowledging that  in  the  dance,  it  is  the  car- 
nality of  the  occasion  which  is  the  attractive 
part  of  it.  The  dancers  were  gathering  and 
forming  into  sets.  They  insisted  on  my  just 
looking  on  for  a  little  while;  yielding  to  their 
entreaties,  I  reached  the  door  in  company 
with  my  uncle  and  aunt  and  their  friend,  and 
was  soon  seated  where  I  had  a  good  view  of  the 
performance.  The  partially  nude  forms  of 
the  women  were  at  first  shocking;  later,  there 
crept  over  me  a  strange  fascination  for  the 
whole  affair.  I  received  many  pressing  invi- 
tations to  dance,  but  persistently  declined 
them.  After  we  had  been  there  a  short  time 
I  desired  to  go,  but  my  aunt  insisted  on  stay- 
ing a  little  while  longer,  and  it  was  two  o'clock 


TEACHING   EXPERIENCES  63 

in  the  morning  before  we  left  the  house. 
Once  more  on  the  outside,  I  felt  like  a  bird 
that  had  escaped  the  serpent's  charm,  and 
could  see  how  easily  unstable  souls  are  drawn 
on  to  spiritual  and  moral  ruin. 

Long  before  the  midnight  hour,  young 
men  who  had  come  there  sober,  were  reeling 
around  the  floor  intoxicated.  The  dancing 
commenced  with  the  old-fashioned  quadrille, 
but  as  the  excitement  and  delirium  increased, 
this  did  not  satisfy  them,  and  their  only  enjoy- 
ment was  found  in  the  lustful  embrace  of  the 
round  dance.  Husbands  and  wives  became 
jealous  of  each  other,  who  afterwards  found 
that  this  night's  experience  had  led  them  to 
the  verge  of  separation.  Young  girls,  who  in 
the  earlier  part  of  the  evening  had  shown 
some  degree  of  modesty,  became  coquettish 
and  bold.  The  odor  of  liquor  permeated  the 
atmosphere. 

My  father  was  a  Free  Mason,  and  I  was 
brought  up  to  believe  that  the  Masonic  lodge 
was  a  benefit  to  humanity.  Here  I  saw  drunk- 
ards, infidels,  blasphemers,  adulterers  and 
liars  wearing  the  Masonic  badge,  and  among 
them  those  who  had  refused  to  allow  me  to 
read  the  Bible  and  pray  in  the  school.  I  had 
paid  out  about  $100  of  my  own  money  on  an 
insurance  policy  that  my  father  had  taken  out 
in  the  lodge,  and  at  this  time  was  paying  tax 


64         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAJE 

on  the  monthly  death  roll.  After  this,  I  in- 
formed my  parents  that  I  would  no  longer 
keep  up  the  payments,  as  I  thought  it  incon- 
sistent with  the  Christian  life. 

My  father's  regalia  was  kept  in  the  bot- 
tom of  the  trunk,  and  looked  upon  as  being 
almost  sacred.  It  was  made  of  white  and 
blue  satin,  and  beautifully  trimmed  with  gold 
and  silver  tinsel.  When  he  became  a  Chris- 
tian he  lost  interest  in  the  lodge  and  never 
wore  the  regalia  again.  After  returning  to 
Kentucky  I  took  the  trimmings  off  and  made 
them  into  flower  vases. 

Some  professing  Christians,  and  even 
holiness  people,  say  they  can  see  no  harm  in 
carrying  an  insurance  policy  in  a  lodge.  This 
one  night's  experience,  with  the  spiritual  light 
I  then  had,  forever  settled  the  question  in  my 
mind.  Lodges,  with  their  ungodly  associa- 
tions and  insurance  policies  are  earthly  props 
on  which  no  Christian  has  any  right  to  lean. 


CHAPTER   V 

AT    HOME     IN     SCHOOL  -  OVERWORK  -  MISSIONARY 
IN    UTAH  -  TESTINGS 


TIME  CAME  for  me  to  return  home. 
On  the  1  3th  of  May,  1884,  after  an  absence 
of  a  little  more  than  two  years,  I  left  Mon- 
tana for  Kentucky.  Many  changes  had  taken 
place  in  my  absence.  My  eldest  sister  had 
died,  leaving  seven  children,  five  of  whom 
were  living  with  father  and  mother.  Mother 
was  careworn  and  had  aged  very  fast.  She 
had  reared  a  large  family  of  children  of  her 
own,  and  the  burden  of  these  grandchildren 
was  telling  on  her.  She  was  relieved  of  three 
of  them,  however,  a  tew  months  later.  My 
eldest  brother,  and  also  a  sister,  had  married 
and  left  home.  The  summer  season  was  just 
opening,  and  there  was  a  great  deal  of  sewing 
to  be  done.  There  was  no  one  else  to  do  it, 
and  I  undertook  it  myself;  for  six  weeks  I 
scarcely  took  time  for  my  meals.  When  the 
fall  term  of  the  female  college  opened,  I  en- 
tered the  school,  worn  out  with  the  summer's 
work,  taking  five  studies  besides  music.  The 
teachers  said  I  would  break  down,  and  insisted 

65 
3 


MISSIONAKY   IN   UTAH  67 

on  my  not  trying  to  do  so  much.  But  I  car- 
ried through  the  term  all  that  I  had  begun, 
believing  that  this  year  would  end  my  school 
days,  and  I  wished  to  accomplish  all  that  was 
possible. 

At  the  close  of  this  year  of  hard  study  I 
became  alarmed  at  the  spiritual  dearth  in  my 
soul,  when  a  letter  came  from  Mr.  White, 
telling  of  the  wonderful  outpouring  of  the 
Spirit  in  Thomas  Harrison's  meetings  at  Den- 
ver, and  also  relating  an  instance  of  a  young 
woman's  receiving  the  Holy  Spirit.  He  said 
that  it  was  my  privilege  to  have  "the  blessing, " 
and  urged  me  to  seek  it.  One  night,  con- 
scious of  my  need,  I  waited  quite  a  while  be- 
fore God  in  prayer  for  a  new  token  of  His 
favor.  He  opened  the  heavens  and  poured 
out  a  great  blessing  upon  me.  I  wondered  if 
I  was  sanctified,  and  yet  I  had  not  definitely 
sought  the  experience.  I  was  only  praying 
for  a  new  token  of  His  love  and  favor. 

I  had  now  made  preparations  to  return  to 
Montana.  Before  leaving  home  I  wrote  to 
Mr.  White  at  Denver,  telling  him  that  I  ex- 
pected to  pass  through  that  city,  and  would 
probably  spend  a  few  hours  there  between 
trains.  He  received  the  letter,  but  misunder- 
standing the  time  that  I  should  arrive,  did  not 
expect  to  meet  me,  as  he  was  intending  to 
leave  the  city  immediately,  and  supposed  that 


68         LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

I  would  not  arrive  until  several  days  later.  I 
had  given  up  seeing  him,  when  he  walked  into 
the  waiting  room  at  the  Union  Depot,  accom- 
panied by  Evangelist  Thomas  Harrison.  It 
was  a  providential  meeting.  Finding,  on  ex- 
amining my  ticket,  that  I  could  stay  over 
until  the  next  day,  I  concluded  to  do  so. 

I  met  Mr.  White's  pastor,  Rev.  I.  H. 
Beardsley,  some  of  whose  relatives  I  had 
known  in  Kentucky.  He  and  his  wife  kindly 
invited  me  to  stay  at  their  home  over  night. 
Mr.  White  took  me  about  the  city  next  day, 
which  was  growing  rapidly,  many  fine  build- 
ings being  erected.  He  improved  the  time 
by  talking  on  the  subject  of  holiness.  Before 
leaving  that  afternoon,  we  knelt  together  in 
the  old  St.  James  M.  E.  Church  and  prayed. 
The  Rev.  Mr.  Beardsley  was  then  pastor  of 
this  church.  At  that  time  I  had  only  a  vague 
idea  of  sanctification,  and  did  not  know  that 
it  means  the  destruction  of  the  carnal  nature. 
W.  B.  Godbey  had  left  some  books  at  our 
home  on  the  subject,  but  he  said  that  he 
preached  the  Gospel  many  years  before  being 
sanctified,  and  this  led  me  to  believe  that  it 
was  not  to  be  obtained  by  everyone,  and  that 
even  preachers  could  preach  a  lifetime  and 
get  to  heaven  without  it.  It  looked  unreason- 
able for  me  to  expect  so  much  in  so  short  a 
time  after  my  conversion.  While  praying  I 


MISSIOSTABY  IN   UTAH  69 

received  a  blessing,  but  doubted   that   it   was 
sanctification,  and  therefore  did  not  claim  it. 

After  my  arrival  at  Dillon,  Montana  I 
learned  that  the  district  school  boards  in  the 
towns  and  country  had  engaged  their  teachers. 
I  owed  seventy-five  dollars  to  an  uncle  for 
my  railroad  transportation,  and  all  I  had  was 
a  little  change  in  my  pocket.  The  Methodist 
Conference  was  then  in  session  at  Dillon. 
In  a  testimony  meeting  I  told  of  having  re- 
ceived a  great  blessing,  which  led  Rev.  T.  C. 
Iliff,  superintendent  of  the  Utah  Methodist 
mission,  who  was  present,  and  looking  for 
teachers  for  the  Salt  Lake  Seminary,  to  make 
inquiries  about  me. 

My  uncle  and  aunt  were  about  to  move 
to  their  ranch,  expecting  to  rent  or  lock  up 
their  house  in  town.  My  sister  Nora  was  one 
of  the  sisters,  who,  at  my  aunt's  first  invita- 
tion, refused  to  go  to  Montana,  but  two  years 
afterward  she  decided  to  go.  She  went  a 
few  months  before  I  made  my  second  trip. 
She  was  invited  to  spend  her  summer  vaca- 
tion on  my  uncle's  ranch.  The  tact  that  the 
schools  were  all  taken,  and  that  I  had  no 
money  and  no  place  to  stay,  seemed  to  be 
overlooked  by  all.  My  extremity  was  reached, 
and  I  had  no  one  to  look  to  or  lean  upon  but 
God.  Praying  almost  constantly  for  three 
days,  I  felt  that  a  crisis  was  near.  The  Spirit 


70          LOOKING  BACK   FKOM  BEULAH 

whispered,  "Open  your  Bible."  I  did  so, 
and  my  eyes  fell  upon  Matthew  6:28-34, 
"Consider  the  lilies  of  the  field,  how  they 
grow,  they  toil  not,  neither  do  they  spin;  and  yet 
I  say  unto  you,  That  even  Solomon  in  all  his 
glory  was  not  arrayed  like  one  of  these." 
When  I  read  the  following,  "O  ye  of  little 
faith!  Be  not  therefore  anxious,  saying, 
What  shall  we  eat  ?  or,  What  shall  we  drink  ? 
or,  Wherewithal  shall  we  be  clothed?"  my 
eyes  were  so  filled  with  tears  I  could  read  no 
further.  Oh  how  I  now  became  conscious  of 
His  loving  and  watchful  care  over  me!  How 
gently  He  chided  me  for  my  lack  of  faith! 
4 'Be  not  therefore  anxious  for  the  morrow; 
for  the  morrow  will  be  anxious  for  itself.  Suf- 
ficient unto  the  day  is  the  evil  thereof"  (R.  V.). 
My  soul  was  flooded  with  light,  and  peace 
was  reigning  in  my  heart;  I  knew  that  God 
had  spoken  directly  to  me  through  His  word. 
Perhaps  only  ten  minutes  had  elapsed  when  a 
knock  was  heard  on  the  front  door.  It  was 
Rev.  T.  C.  Iliff.  He  said,  "I  understand 
you  are  a  school  teacher;  I  am  looking  for 
teachers  for  the  Salt  Lake  Seminary."  He 
asked  me  if  I  would  accept  a  position  in  this 
school,  and  of  course  I  was  glad  to  do  so. 

I  was  still  in  a  dilemma  to  know  what  to 
do  the  intervening  two  months,  when  a  man 
called  with  a  note  from  a  country  school 


MISSIONARY  IN    UTAH  71 

teacher,  requesting  me  to  finish  her  school,  as 
she  wished  to  visit  the  National  Park.  I  had 
heard  wonderful  descriptions  of  the  National 
Park,  or  '  'Wonderland, "  as  it  is  sometimes 
called,  and  had  long  wanted  to  visit  it  myself, 
but  never  since  the  Lord  called  me  to  His 
service  had  I  found  an  opportunity  to  take  a 
vacation  or  go  on  a  pleasure  trip.  Responsi- 
bilities on  me  were  too  great  to  spend  even  a 
few  weeks  in  recreation  when  duty  called  me 
elsewhere,  so  I  had  to  be  satisfied  with  the 
descriptions  others  gave  me  of  the  Park, 
which  seemed  almost  incredible.  I  saw  this 
school  was  the  Lord's  opening,  and  in  a  few 
days  was  enjoying  the  quiet  of  country  life. 
As  I  had  only  a  few  pupils,  there  was  ample 
opportunity  to  rest  my  tired  nerves.  Out- 
door exercise  was  just  the  thing  necessary  to 
prepare  me  for  the  year's  work  ahead.  On 
counting  up  my  expenses,  I  found  that  I 
would  not  have  money  enough,  after  paying 
my  board,  to  buy  a  ticket  to  Salt  Lake  City. 
I  did  not  tell  anyone  this,  and  was  wondering 
how  to  get  through.  When  I  offered  the  lady 
the  money  for  my  board,  she  turned  away 
and  said,  '  1  can't  take  it  from  you.  "  She  could 
not  be  prevailed  upon  to  accept  it.  Her  only  ex- 
cuse was  that  I  had  helped  her  with  the  dishes 
a  few  times,  which  was  no  more  than  the  other 
teacher  had  done,  whom  she  charged  for  board . 


A   OBYSER   IN   THE    NATIONAL    PARK 


MISSIONAEY  IN   UTAH  73 

My  sister  Nora  accompanied  me  to  Utah, 
and  was  engaged  to  teach  the  Methodist  school 

at  Toole.     The   Rev.    Mr.    G ,    whom    I 

had  met  at  the  Methodist  Conference  in 
Butte  City,  was  appointed  principal  of  the 
seminary  in  which  I  was  to  teach.  He  and 
his  wife  had  charge  of  Davis  Hall,  where  the 
teachers  and  many  of  the  students  boarded. 
He  charged  me  more  for  board  than  he  did 
anyone  else  in  the  school ;  of  this  I  was  igno- 
rant for  a  number  of  weeks.  When  asked  to 
explain  why  he  did  this,  he  declined  to  do  so, 
and  refused  to  make  any  reduction.  Brother 
and  Sister  Iliff  then  invited  me  to  spend  the 
rest  of  the  term  at  their  home.  Mr.  G— 
was  not  pleased  with  this,  and  manifested  a 
wrong  spirit  toward  me  the  rest  of  the  year. 

The  pastor  of  the  church,    Rev.    C ,    and 

his  family  also  boarded  at  the  Hall.  He  was 
a  native  of  New  Jersey  and  a  warm  friend  of 
the  principal.  His  sermons  were  illustrated 
largely  with  incidents  from  the  Civil  War, 
many  of  which  would  have  been  more  appro- 
priately left  out.  His  war  illustrations  aroused 
prejudice  in  the  hearts  of  his  members,  as  the 
congregation  was  composed  largely  of  people 
from  the  South.  I  made  the  statement  that 
I  thought  he  was  pursuing  an  unwise  course. 
Some  one  repeated  it  to  him,  and  he  after- 
wards met  me  and  severely  rebuked  me  for 


74         LOOKING  BACK  FKOM   BETJLAH 

making  this  remark.  He  said  that  I  ought  to 
appreciate  him  more,  and  if  it  were  not  for 
my  Southern  prejudice  I  would  do  so. 

I  taught  the  primary  school,  which  had 
an  enrollment  of  sixty  pupils.  From  time  to 
time  more  seats  had  to  be  provided;  my  over- 
flowing room  became  a  problem  for  the  school 
board.  The  next  grade  above  had  a  small 
attendance,  and  the  teacher  ought  to  have 
shared  the  burden  that  was  falling  heavily 
upon  me.  At  this  time  two  colored  girls  were 

assigned  to   my   room   by   Professor   G . 

One  was  much  larger  than  the  average  pupils 
of  my  department.  Instantly  it  flashed  upon 
me  that  he  had  sent  these  children  to  me  for 
a  purpose,  and  I  determined  not  to  let  a  word 
escape  my  lips  that  I  would  have  cause  to  re- 
gret, well  knowing  that  I  would  lose  my  posi- 
tion if  I  refused  to  teach  these  colored  chil- 
dren. There  were  no  mixed  schools  in  the 
South,  and  I  had  been  taught  that  it  was  a 
disgrace  for  a  white  person  to  teach  colored 
people.  Understanding  now  the  real  feeling 
the  Rev.  G—  — ,  the  principal  of  the  school, 
and  others  had  against  me,  it  pierced  my 
heart  like  an  arrow,  and  the  tears  flowed  freely. 
As  I  passed  through  the  building  at  noon,  they 
looked  at  one  another  as  much  as  to  say, 
"I  wonder  how  she  is  taking  it?"  When  they 
heard  that  I  had  been  weeping,  they  said, 


MISSIONAEY   IN  UTAH  75 

'That  shows  how  much  Christianity  she  has." 
Brother  and  Sister  Iliff  showed  entirely  a  dif- 
ferent spirit  in  the  matter,  and  Brother 
Iliff  told  them  it  reflected  upon  their  Christian 
charity  to  impose  the  children  upon  me,  know- 
ing that  as  yet  I  had  not  gotten  rid  of  my 
Southern  ideas  in  regard  to  colored  people. 
In  a  few  hours  the  victory  was  won,  and  I 
found  it  a  pleasure  to  teach  the  colored  chil- 
dren. The  Lord  had  brought  it  all  about  for 
my  good. 

Plans  had  been  made  for  a  large  Sunday- 
school  Christmas  tree,  and  the  teachers  in  the 
institution  were  invited  to  unite  their  efforts  to 
make  it  a  success.  The  woman  in  charge,  who 
had  a  class  of  young  men  and  women  in 
Sunday-school,  was  wearing  mourning  for  a 
relative,  and  passing  herself  off  as  a  real 
widow,  when  her  husband  was  not  dead.  She 
was  a  woman  of  commanding  presence,  and 
when  she  spoke,  her  orders  were  obeyed.  The 
kindergarten  teacher  and  I  had  previously 
planned  to  combine  our  departments  and  give 
the  children  a  tree  of  their  own,  as  many 
of  them  were  poor,  and  some  of  them  almost 
destitute  of  clothing.  The  dry  goods  stores 
had  given  us  a  large  assortment  of  winter  gar- 
ments for  the  poor,  and  we  had  spent  much 
time  in  drilling  the  children  in  songs  and  reci- 
tations. They  were  looking  forward  to  the 


76         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

exercises  with  eager  anticipation,  when  the 
woman  in  charge  of  the  Sunday-school  tree 
sent  word  to  us  to  drop  our  work  and  unite 
our  efforts  with  them.  As  this  would  necessi- 
tate the  abandonment  of  the  exercises,  and  be 
a  great  disappointment  to  our  little  folks,  we 
refused  to  do  so.  The  kindergarten  teacher 
had  once  been  a  Mormon,  but  had  left  the 
church,  and  while  having  no  definite  religious 
convictions,  she  felt  the  injustice  of  the  wom- 
an's request,  and  showed  no  disposition  to 
yield  to  her  desires.  A  number  of  persons 
came  to  us  at  different  times  trying  to  induce 
us  to  join  the  rest  of  the  school  in  the  big 
Christmas  exercises.  The  pastor  criticized  us 
and  cast  reflections  on  my  Christianity.  I 
said  some  things  to  him  that  might  have 
sounded  unkind;  nevertheless  they  were  true, 
but  afterwards  I  regretted  having  said  them. 
He  left  me  with  an  air  of  satisfaction,  and  I 
believed  the  enemy  had  taken  the  advantage 
of  me  in  this  conversation  and  had  won  a  vic- 
tory. Silence  would  have  been  my  strongest 
weapon  and  would  have  shown  greater  wis- 
dom. My  heart  became  more  and  more 
grieved  as  I  remembered  the  prophet's  words: 
4  'As  a  lamb  that  is  led  to  the  slaughter,  'and 
as  a  sheep  that  before  her  shearers  is  dumb; 
Yet  he  opened  not  his  mouth."  Haunted 
with  a  feeling  that  I  might  not  have  shown  a 


MISSIOSTABY  IN   UTAH  77 

true  Christian  spirit,  I  prayed  more  earnestly 
for  grace  to  be  an  overcomer  at  all  times. 
Some  one  reported  the  matter  to  Brother 
Iliff  when  he  returned  to  the  city.  He  looked 
somewhat  troubled  and  said,  "I  wish  our 
teachers  could  keep  sweet  under  all  circum- 
stances." He  then  said  that  Miss  L al- 
ways kept  composed  in  any  controversy.  I 
knew  the  teacher  to  whom  he  referred  had  no 
salvation,  and  this  statement  was  humiliating 
to  me.  She  was  cold  and  precise  in  her  man- 
ner, and  when  attempting  to  testify  or  pray  in 
meeting,  had  only  a  form  of  words.  The 
Lord  used  this  experience  to  stir  me  up,  and 
I  prayed  more  earnestly  than  ever  to  be  able 
to  please  Him  in  all  things. 

A  few  weeks  later,  a  young  lady  brought 
me  a  note  written  by  the  pastor's  son;  it  was 
addressed  to  herself  and  did  credit  neither  to 
this  young  man -nor  his  parents.  She  asked 
me  with  tears  in  her  eyes  what  she  must  do 
about  it.  I  told  her  to  take  it  to  the  principal. 
After  school  closed  in  the  afternoon,  I  met  the 
young  man's  father  in  the  hall,  who  asked 
abruptly  why  I  had  not  brought  the  note  to 
him  instead  of  letting  it  fall  into  the  hands  of 

Prof.  G .     I  told  him  that  I  did  not  think 

of  him  at  all  and  supposed  I  had  sent  it  to  the 
proper  person.  He  was  much  disturbed,  and 
said  I  had  not  shown  a  Christian  spirit.  I 


78    LOOKING  BACK  FKOM  BEULAH 

supposed  the  principal  would  justify  me  in 
what  I  had  done,  but  these  two  men — who 
for  a  time  were  not  on  good  terms — had  made 
friends,  and  both  were  against  me. 

On  the  following  Sunday  evening  the  pas- 
tor preached  again,  and  as  usual,  illustrated 
his  sermon  with  incidents  from  the  Civil  War, 
which  cast  reflections  on  the  Southern  people, 
and  were  directed  at  me.  I  told  Professor 
G—  -  that  the  pastor's  sermons  would  be 
more  edifying  if  he  would  leave  those  things 
out.  A  few  days  later  I  met  the  pastor  in  the 
reception  room.  He  said  he  had  heard  that 
I  was  criticizing  his  "sermons  again,  and  that 
it  showed  I  was  not  right  with  God.  The 
hasty  words  spoken  in  my  former  experience 
with  him  caused  me  to  speak  more  guardedly 
and  to  evade  an  issue  with  him.  Later  he 
sent  for  me  to  come  to  his  study,  and  while 
listening  to  a  number  of  accusations,  for  which 
I  knew  Professor  G was  directly  responsi- 
ble, it  seemed  impossible  for  me  to  hold  my 
peace  any  longer.  Had  they  not  been  minis- 
ters in  good  standing  in  the  M.  E.  church,  I 
could  have  borne  it  better.  I  told  the  pastor 
that  during  my  few  months'  acquaintance  with 
him  I  had  found  him  bigoted,  selfish  and 
overbearing.  Losing  his  self-control  he  de- 
clared that  no  one  living  had  ever  dared  to 
talk  to  him  like  that.  He  said  that  his  dignity 


MTSSIOKAEY   IN  UTAH  79 

as  pastor  of  the  church  had  been  highly  in- 
sulted. Seeing  that  the  multiplication  of 
words  would  be  folly,  I  quietly  withdrew  from 
his  presence.  Meeting  the  principal  of  the 
school  next  morning,  he  said,  "An  apology  is 
due  Dr.  Carrol  (for  this  was  his  name),  and 
you  must  make  it  immediately. " 

If  I  had  been  sanctified  at  this  time,  I 
would  have  known  better  than  to  have  made 
an  apology,  let  come  what  would.  The  scrip- 
ture came  to  my  mind:  "If  therefore  thou 
art  bringing  thy  gift  at  the  altar,  and  there  re- 
memberest  that  thy  brother  hath  ought  against 
thee,  Leave  there  thy  gift  before  the  altar,  and 
go  thy  way,  first  be  reconciled  to  thy  brother, 
and  then  come  and  offer  thy  gift"  (Matt.  5:23- 
24,  R.  V.).  I  thought  this  meant  that  I 
should  go  and  apologize  to  him;  but  I  know 
now  that  it  has  entirely  a  different  meaning. 
We  are  not  to  apologize  to  people  to  whom 
we  have  told  the  truth  in  the  right  spirit,  how- 
ever hard  it  may  grate  against  carnality. 

I  was  hearing  nothing  preached  but  the 
suppression  of  the  old  Adam  nature,  and  sup- 
posed that  all  I  could  do  was  to  pray  for  more 
grace  to  bear  with  people.  I  knew  there  was 
something  in  my  heart  that  was  rising  up  oc- 
casionally and  giving  me  trouble,  but  knew 
not  that  there  was  deliverance. 

Reconciliation  with   the   pastor   was   not 


80         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

brought  about  until  after  a  difficulty  arose 
between  his  son  and  his  teacher,  in  which  the 
son,  on  refusal  to  comply  with  certain  re- 
quests, said  sarcastically,  "I  am  not  from  In- 
diana, anyhow."  This  was  the  native  state 
of  his  preceptor.  No  sooner  had  the  words 
escaped  his  lips  than  the  gangling  "Hoosier" 
hurled  him  through  a  glass  door  into  my  room, 
knocking  me  to  the  floor  amid  flying  glass. 
Such  treatment  being  neither  Christian  nor 
humane,  I  so  expressed  myself  in  the  hearing 
of  the  young  man's  father,  who  manifested  his 
surprise  at  my  being  in  sympathy  with  his  son. 
After  this  his  attitude  toward  me  was  entirely 
changed;  but  my  difficulties  were  not  ended, 
for  the  principal,  who  had  a  good  supply  of 
ill-will  of  his  own  on  hand,  seemed  to  have  im- 
bibed all  the  animosity  of  the  pastor,  and 
made  it  exceedingly  unpleasant  for  me  the 
rest  of  the  term,  all  of  which  worked  out  for 
my  good. 

While  passing  through  these  experiences 
I  was  painfully  conscious  that  my  Christian  life 
was  not  complete,  and  it  is  partly  for  this  rea- 
son that  I  have  related  them  so  much  in  detail. 

One  afternoon  a  note  was  put  under  the 
door  of  Davis  Hall  requesting  some  of  us  to 
call  at  a  certain  street  number.  Supposing 
some  one  was  in  destitute  circumstances,  Sis- 
ter Iliff  and  I  took  a  car  to  the  city  limits,  where 


MISSIONARY   IN   UTAH  81 

we  found  the  number  on  a  board  at  the  door 
of  a  dug-out.  Entering,  we  found  an  old  lady 
carrying  her  arm  in  a  sling.  There  were 
three  little  grandchildren  and  a  grown-up, 
feeble-minded  son,  scarcely  able  to  take  care 
of  himself,  all  sitting  by  a  board  eating  some 
fat  pork,  without  any  bread,  and  drinking  a 
little  tea.  The  two  daughters,  mothers  of 
these  children,  had  died  of  broken  hearts  from 
neglect  and  ill  treatment.  The  fathers  spent 
most  of  their  time  in  the  saloons,  refusing  to 
support  their  families.  The  old  lady's  arm 
had  been  broken  and  improperly  set,  which 
caused  her  intense  suffering.  These  children 
had  been  left  entirely  to  her  care,  and  now  be- 
ing disabled,  she  had  no  means  of  support; 
she  was  one  of  the  '  'hand-cart  emigrants" 
to  Utah,  in  1856,  and  becoming  dissatisfied 
with  the  Mormon  religion  she  had  left  the 
faith  which  caused  the  church  to  refuse  to 
help  her  in  this  time  of  distress. 

Aside  from  what  we  saw  on  the  table, 
they  had  had  nothing  to  eat  for  two  days. 
The  half-demented  son  had  assisted  some  one 
in  butchering  a  pig  and  secured  some  of  the 
meat.  The  next  day  food  and  fuel  were  sent 
them.  In  the  meantime  I  went  with  Sister 

I and  she  confronted  the   saloon-keepers 

with  the  story  of  these  children,  whose  homes 
they  had  broken  up  and  whose  fathers  they  were 


82          LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

ruining.  To  her  plea  that  it  was  their  duty 
to  help  them,  they  responded  heartily  and 
liberally.  They  apparently  did  not  enjoy  our 
presence  nor  our  description  of  this  scene,  and 
were  anxious  to  get  rid  of  us  both.  Yet  such 
are  the  scenes  that  are  making  up  the  dark 
annals  of  the  saloon  that  will  burn  in  the  soul 
of  the  rum-seller  where  the  worm  of  memory 
dieth  not  and  the  fire  is  not  quenched.  "Woe 
unto  him  that  giveth  his  neighbor  drink" 
(Hab.  2:15). 

Such  is  a  picture  of  poverty  in  Utah,  which 
the  missionary  is  called  to  look  upon.  Many 
pitiful  sights  are  seen  of  indigent  and  infirm 
persons  who  somehow  make  their  way  to  this 
Mormon  Zion,  looking  for  prosperity,  and  ex- 
pecting a  miraculous  healing  of  their  bodies. 
Sights  of  wretchedness  and  suffering  always 
deeply  affected  me,  and  I  had  to  guard  against 
seeing  them. 


CHAPTER     VI 

LAST    YEAR    AS     A    TEACHER A     SCHOOL     ELEC- 
TION— TRIALS     AND     TRIUMPHS 

TN  JUNE  I  returned  to  Montana.  My  sister 
A  Nora,  who  had  been  with  me  in  Utah,  pre- 
ceeded  me  a  few  weeks  and  was  teaching  a 
summer  school  on  a  ranch  seven  miles  from 
Red  Rock.  Wishing  to  spend  some  time 
with  her  I  stopped  off  at  this  station  from  a 
morning  train.  As  I  had  no  way  of  reaching 
the  school  house,  the  night  operator  at  the  de- 
pot kindly  offered  to  take  me  if  a  conveyance 
could  be  had.  There  was  but  one  horse  and 
buggy  available;  the  horse  was  a  bronco,  and 
while  the  owner  would  not  recommend  him, 
he  said  we  might  take  our  chances.  The  op- 
erator was  a  large  man,  weighing  perhaps  two 
hundred  and  fifty  pounds.  In  our  conversa- 
tion on  the  road,  the  subject  of  religion  was 
introduced.  I  found  that  my  escort  claimed 
to  be  an  infidel,  and  I  gladly  witnessed  for 
Christ,  while  he  set  forth  tenets  of  unbelief. 
I  told  him  that  if  he  were  facing  death  he 
would  not  talk  so.  He  said  that  he  had  been 
at  death's  door  and  had  felt  no  fear.  With 
these  words  upon  his  lips,  something  about 

83 


84    LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEULAH 

the  harness  gave  way;  the  horse,  with  a  leap, 
left  the  road,  taking  us  over  sage  brush  in  the 
direction  of  an  irrigating  ditch.  Seeing  our 
danger,  I  kept  looking  to  God  in  silent  prayer, 
when  he  cried,  "For  God's  sake,  jump!" 
Not  being  afraid,  I  refused  to  make  a  move. 
He  tumbled  out  of  the  back  part  of  the  buggy 
just  as  "we  were  approaching  the  ditch.  He 
had  no  sooner  lighted  on  the  ground  than  the 
horse  stopped.  He  rose  to  his  feet  with  a 
blanched  face  and  tremblingly  said,  '  'Why, 
you  are  not  even  pale!"  He  was  humiliated 
when  I  reminded  him  how  a  few  moments  be- 
fore he  had  boasted,  and  now  when  the  testing 
time  came,  he  proved  himself  to  be  a  coward. 
He  looked  away,  made  no  reply,  and  tried  to 
change  the  subject 

Three  years  before,  in  a  similar  experience, 
I  had  proved  that  God  can  keep  one  in  perfect 
peace  whose  mind  is  stayed  on  Him  (Is.  26:3). 
It  was  in  a  thunder  storm  in  the  Rocky  Moun- 
tains. My  aunt,  at  whose  home  I  had  been 

living,  Mr.  S ,  an  old  bachelor  friend,  and 

myself  were  crossing  the  mountains  from  Ban- 
nock to  Dillon,  when  we  encountered  a  storm. 
A  number  of  horses  had  been  killed  by  light- 
ning in  the  vicinity  a  few  days  before ;  my  aunt 
and  Mr.  S—  -  were  badly  frightened.  Our 
horses  were  becoming  unmanageable  as  we 
began  to  descend  the  dangerous  part  of  the 


LAST  YEAR  AS  A    TEACHER  85 

road  winding  around  the  mountain-side.  I 
thought  of  the  many  times  our  driver  had 
good-naturedly  ridiculed  religion  in  my  pres- 
ence, and  how  he  had  been  encouraged  by  my 
aunt's  amusement  at  his  wit.  It  looked  like 
it  was  God's  opportunity  to  teach  them  a 
lesson.  I  could  not  keep  from  laughing,  which 
may  have  appeared  irreverent,  or  in  derision 
of  their  fear;  anyhow  it  was  incomprehensible 
to  them,  and  called  forth  a  severe  rebuke,  es- 
pecially from  my  aunt.  I  knew  that  I  was 
God's  child,  and  the  display  of  His  mighty 
power  on  such  a  majestic  scale  was  entertain- 
ment for  me,  and  I  was  as  confident  and  care- 
less as  a  playful  child,  tossed  and  caught  in 
the  arms  of  a  loving  father.  I  knew  that  God 
would  not  let  me  fall.  It  was  not  presumption 
nor  hysteria,  but  the  wonderful  working  of 
God's  Spirit  within  me,  that  filled  my  mouth 
with  laughter,  for  which  I  was  riot  responsible. 
Glory  to  Jesus!  It  is  our  privilege  to  have  a 
triumphant  faith.  He  had  promised  never  to 
leave  nor  forsake  me,  and  now  that  He  spoke 
to  us  through  the  lightning's  flash  and  the 
thunder's  roar,  His  wondrous  presence  sweetly 
filled  my  soul. 

"I've  seen  the  lightning's  flashing, 

I've  heard  the  thunders  roll; 
I've  felt  sin's  breakers  dashing, 
Trying  to  conquer  my  soul. 


86    LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEULAH 

"I've  heard  the  voice  of  Jesus 
Telling  me  still  to  press  on; 
He  promised  never  to  leave  me 
Never  to  leave  me  alone. " 

Hallelujah!  We  can  have  a  faith  like  that 
of  God's  old  heroes,  as  we  see  it  set  forth  in 
that  wonderful  eleventh  chapter  of  Hebrews. 

UO  for  a  faith  that  will  not  shrink. 

Though  pressed  by  every  foe; 
That  will  not  tremble  on  the  brink 
Of  any  earthly  woe! 

"A  faith  that  shines  more  bright  and  clear 

When  tempests  rage  without; 
That  when  in  danger  knows  no  fear, 

In  darkness  feels  no  doubt." 

Soon  after  my  arrival,  my  sister  asked 
me  what  I  would  do,  as  the  school  boards  had 
all  employed  their  teachers  for  the  fall  and 
winter  terms.  I  was  face  to  face  with  the 
same  difficulty  I  had  experienced  the  year 
previous,  but  I  believed  the  Lord  would  open 
the  way.  There  was  a  school  about  twenty- 
five  miles  away,  said  to  be  one  of  the  best 
paying  schools  in  the  county.  A  member  of 
this  school  board  had  told  my  sister  a  few 
days  before  that  they  had  already  engaged  a 
teacher.  Much  of  my  time  was  being  spent  in 
prayer,  and  it  was  very  forcibly  impressed 
upon  my  mind  to  go  down  and  see  for  myself. 


LAST  TEAK  AS  A  TEACHEE  87 

Some  persons  thought  it  very  foolish  to  make 
this  trip,  knowing  it  was  reported  that  the 
board  had  engaged  a  teacher.  A  ranchman 
hitched  a  team  to  his  wagon  and  took  my  sister 
and  myself  to  the  place.  We  found  only  two 
members  of  the  board  at  home,  while  the  one 
who  had  given  my  sister  the  information  was 
out  of  town.  After  telling  them  our  business, 
they  did  not  commit  themselves  until  they 
had  stepped  to  one  side  and  talked  the  matter 
over.  On  returning  they  asked  me  to  come 
back  again  when  the  other  member  of  the 
board  could  be  present.  I  begged  them  to 
decide  the  matter  themselves  if  possible,  for 
it  was  too  long  a  trip  to  make  the  second  time. 
They  again  retired,  this  time  staying  longer. 
In  their  absence  the  Holy  Spirit  gave  me  the 
evidence  that  I  was  to  have  the  school.  I 
had  this  assurance  as  much  as  though  they  had 
already  given  me  their  answer.  Returning, 
they  said,  '  We  have  decided  that  Mr.  R— 
has  controlled  the  school  board  long  enough, 
and  propose  to  let  you  have  the  school  whether 
he  likes  it  or  not.  We  understand  he  has 

promised  it  to   Mrs.  C ,    but   we   had   no 

voice  in  it."  They  agreed  to  give  me  seventy 
dollars  for  the  first  month  and  then  raise  my 
salary. 

A  few  weeks  before  the   opening   of   this 
school,  I  had   malaria   fever   at   Dillon.    The 


88    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

strain  of  the  work  at  Salt  Lake  City  had  told 
on  my  physical  system,  so  it  was  easy  to  fall 
a  prey  to  disease.  The  weather  was  warm, 
and  to  get  away  from  the  noise,  and  for  other 
reasons,  I  was  compelled  to  occupy  a  room 
near  the  roof.  I  was  not  confined  to  my  bed 
all  the  time,  but  when  up  and  around  I  suf- 
fered more  than  anyone  knew.  I  tried  to 
wait  upon  myself,  not  wishing  to  be  depend- 
ent upon  others.  The  Saturday  before  the 
opening  of  the  school  I  was,  to  all  appear- 
ances, utterly  unfit  for  work.  My  uncle  asked 
me  what  I  would  do.  I  told  him  that  I  ex- 
pected to  open  the  school  at  the  appointed 
time.  He  did  not  believe  I  meant  what  I 
said  until  I  asked  for  an  expressman  to  take 
my  trunk  to  the  depot.  As  soon  as  an  effort 
was  made  to  go  to  the  train,  I  felt  God  help- 
ing me,  and  two  hours  later,  weak  and  trem- 
bling, but  with  a  keen  appetite,  I  arrived  at 
my  destination. 

One  of  the  members  of  the  school  board 
met  me,  and  said  that  after  repeated  efforts 
he  had  failed  to  find  a  boarding  house  for  me, 
unless  I  would  go  to  the  railroad  hotel,  where 
a  saloon  was  kept.  He  informed  me  that  the 
wife  of  a  railroad  conductor  living  near  by 
could  take  me  if  she  would,  but  that  she  had 
refused  them  four  different  times  that  day.  He 
pointed  out  the  house  to  me  and  said,  ''You 


LAST  YEAE  AS  A  TEACHEE  89 

can  go  and  see  her  if  you  think  best."  I 
asked  the  Lord  to  touch  her  .heart  and  save 
me  from  having  to  go  to  the  hotel.  My  knock 
at  the  door  was  answered  by  the  lady  her- 
self, who  smilingly  said,  ''You  are  the  school 
teacher;  come  in.  The  school  board  will  not 
take  'No'  for  an  answer,  and  I  suppose  I  will 
have  to  take  you."  She  took  my  wraps,  said 
that  supper  was  just  ready,  and  invited  me  to 
the  dining  room.  The  food  looked  very 
tempting.  She  was  very  kind  and  made  me 
feel  quite  at  home.  In  a  few  minutes  after 
my  arrival  she  seemed  delighted  to  have  me 
there,  and  said,  "I  knew  all  the  time  that  I 
ought  to  take  you."  She  had  a  pleasant  smile 
and  made  me  feel  like  smiling,  too. 

During  the  next  three  weeks  I  gained 
several  pounds  in  weight  and  did  hot  lose  an 
hour  from  school.  Jesus  was  very  precious 
to  me. 

"The  opening  heavens  around  me  shine 

With  beams  of  sacred  bliss, 
"When  Jesus  showed  His  mercy  mine 
And  whispered  I  was  His. ' ' 

In  this  town  of  Lima,  with  a  school  en- 
rollment of  seventy  scholars,  there  was  no 
Sabbath-school,  nor  church  services,  and  not 
a  sign  of  spiritual  life  anywhere.  A  burden 
for  the  children  came  upon  me,  and  with  the 


90        LOOKING   BACK    FROM   BETJLAH 

assistance  of  one  or  two  persons  a  Sabbath- 
school  was  started.  It  took  much  wisdom  to 
deal  with  the  Catholics  and  Mormons  in  order 
that  the  work  might  not  be  hindered.  I 
taught  the  children  of  the  day  school  at  least 
forty  hymns;  also  the  Lord's  prayer  and 
many  verses  of  scripture,  some  of  which  they 
would  repeat  at  the  opening  exercises  in  the 
morning. 

The  sum  of  ninety  dollars  was  raised  with 
which  to  buy  an  organ  for  the  school.  The 
children  were  learning  to  sing,  and  many  of 
the  parents  were  delighted;  otherwise  they 
undoubtedly  would  have  opposed  me  in  the 
religious  training  their  children  were  receiving. 
A  lesson  in  hygiene  took  up  an  hour  near  the 
close  of  each  day  with  the  entire  school.  This 
gave  a  wide  scope  to  talk  on  moral  and  relig- 
ious subjects. 

My  greatest  delight  was  in  this  work  and 
I  would  have  been  glad  to  have  had  the  privi- 
lege of  turning  the  school  into  a  mission  room. 

Impressions  made  on  the  minds  of  chil- 
dren are  usually  lasting,  and  1  believed  that 
the  seed  sown  would  bring  forth  fruit. 

The  member  of  the  board,  who  was  ig- 
nored when  the  other  two  members  employed 
me  to  teach  the  school,  was  nursing  his  wrath 
and  waiting  for  an  opportunity  to  retaliate. 
The  school  election  was  soon  to  take  place, 


LAST  YEAR  AS   A    TEACHER  91 

and  this  man  worked  secretly  for  weeks  to 
elect  a  trustee,  who,  with  himself,  would 
have  the  power  to  put  me  out.  He  was  an 
ex-saloon  keeper,  and  his  candidate  was  a  great 
muscular  freight  conductor,  called  the  "John 
Sullivan"  of  the  road,  a  great  fighter,  with  the 
record  of  killing  a  man.  The  conductor  at 
whose  house  I  boarded,  came  home  one  night 
with  a  black  eye  and  otherwise  badly  bruised 
up  at  the  hands  of  this  man.  The  daughter 
of  this  burly  conductor  attended  my  school, 
and  when  once  it  was  necessary  to  punish  her, 
the  neighbors  warned  me  to  beware  of  the 
tiger  in  her  home. 

The  next  morning  after  the  little  girl  was 
punished,  I  looked  out  and  saw  her  mother 
coming  to  the  school  house.  She  had  had  a 
fight  with  a  woman  a  short  time  before  this, 
and  when  she  heard  that  her  child  had  been 
punished,  she  said  she  would  go  to  the  school 
house  and  whip  the  teacher.  Knowing  her 
purpose  in  coming,  I  uttered  a  prayer  to  God 
for  protection.  Meeting  her  at  the  door,  and 
looking  as  pleasant  as  possible,  I  invited  her  in. 
She  was  confused,  and  said  she  had  come  to 
see  about  her  daughter.  I  told  her  Clara  was 
a  very  good  girl,  but  sometimes,  like  other 
children,  she  needed  to  be  corrected.  She  stood 
for  a  moment  with  her  eyes  fixed  upon  me 
then  turning  to  her  daughter  said,  '  'Clara,  if 


92    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

you  give  this  teacher  any  more  trouble  I  will 
punish  you  myself, "  then  she  walked  quietly 
away. 

The  people  of  the  town  were  wonderfully 
stirred  up  over  the  school  election.  The  op- 
position had  enlisted  the  worst  element  of  the 
place  and  it  was  evident  they  would  win  if 
God  did  not  interpose.  The  religious  instruc- 
tion in  the  school  was  being  made  an  issue  by 
them.  I  knew  the  Lord  was  able  to  deliver 
me  as  He  did  Daniel  from  the  plot  of  wicked 
men.  I  went  to  my  room  to  spend  the  night 
in  prayer.  At  3  o'clock  in  the  morning  the 
victory  was  won. 

"Hushed  was  every  doubt, 
Gone  was  every  fear." 

This  was  only  two  days  before  the  elec- 
tion. The  following  day  men  could  be  seen 
standing  in  small  groups,  talking,  and  hurry- 
ing to  and  fro  from  one  saloon  to  another.  It 
was  evident  that  the  excitement  was  increas- 
ing. Some  of  this  I  observed  from  my  school 
house  window.  Men  had  stopped  their  work 
to  electioneer.  Friendships  were  being  re- 
newed and  liquor  flowed  freely.  The  most 
popular  saloon  in  town  was  owned  and  run  by 
"Pete"  Halligan,  an  Irishman,  who  was  an 
uncle  of  some  little  Catholic  girls  in  the  school. 
He  declared  that  while  he  himself  was  a  great 
sinner,  he  believed  that  the  school  teacher  had 


LAST  YEAE  AS   A  TEACHEE  93 

been  a  blessing  to  the  town.  He  said  that  he 
had  three  little  nieces  and  he  wanted  to  see 
them  brought  up  right  and  that  this  teacher 
had  great  influence  over  them  for  good.  He 
further  said  that  he  intended  to  place  himself 
on  record  in  this  campaign  as  being  a  friend  to 
humanity,  and  work  and  vote  in  behalf  of  the 
teacher. 

The  evening  before   the   election,    a   Mr. 

R ,  who  had  espoused  our  cause,   came  in 

with  a  beaming  face  and  said  he  was  sure  the 
opposing  party  had  overlooked  the  fact  that 
women  could  vote  at  school  elections.  This 
man  was  a  brother  of  the  member  of  the 
board  who  had  opposed  my  teaching  the  school. 
He  advised  that  two  ladies  who  were  present, 
should  go  out  quickly  among  our  lady  friends 
and  have  them  assemble  in  a  certain  place  just 
in  time  to  go  to  the  polls  and  vote  before  the 
time  of  closing.  At  the  appointed  time  seven- 
teen women  had  gathered.  I  was  impressed 
that  two  more  votes  would  be  necessary  to 
win,  and  at  that  moment  thought  of  two 
women  who  lived  back  of  the  school  house 
near  the  willows.  They  came  quickly  when 
sent  for.  The  company  of  women,  headed  by 

Mr.  R ,  the  originator  of  the  plan,  went  to 

the  polls  and  voted.  The  disgruntled  mem- 
ber of  the  board  was  in  utter  confusion  when 
he  saw  his  brother  walking  up  to  the  polls  with 


94         LOOKING  BACK  FEOM    BETJLAH 

all  of  these  women  to  vote.  He  said,  with 
stinging  sarcasm,  *  'When  did  you  become  a 
Mormon?"  With  a  twinkle  in  his  eye,  he  re- 
plied, '  'You  may  call  me  a  Mormon  or  any- 
thing else  you  are  a  mind  to  on  this  occasion." 
It  was  too  late  to  muster  the  women  on  the 
opposing  side,  as  the  time  had  come  for  the 
closing  of  the  polls.  A  little  later  the  news 
was  heralded  over  the  town  that  our  party  had 
won  by  a  majority  of  two. 

When  the  new  trustee  was  installed,  the 
board  employed  me  to  teach  the  spring  term, 
and  offered  me  the  school  for  the  following 
year,  with  an  increase  of  salary.  As  I  had 
other  plans  before  me,  I  declined  to  take  the 
fall  term,  and  recommended  one  of  my  sisters 
for  the  place,  whom  they  employed. 


CHAPTER     VII 

DENVER MARRIAGE — STRUGGLE  AGAINST 

WORLDLINESS 

AFTER  SPENDING  the  summer  of  1887 
*-**  teaching  a  country  school,  I  left  for  Den- 
ver, where  I  expected  to  take  music  and  a  few 
other  studies  in  the  Methodist  University.  I 
soon  found  that  I  was  unable,  physically,  to 
do  what  I  had  planned,  having  taught  thirteen 
months  in  a  high  altitude,  with  only  one  week's 
intermission. 

Mr.  White,  to  whom  I  was  soon  to  be 
married,  insisted  on  my  taking  a  course  in 
elocution.  He  said  it  would  be  a  diversion  of 
two  hours  day  from  my  regular  studies,  and 
would  be  helpful  to  me  in  different  ways.  Be- 
fore I  was  hardly  aware,  he  had  arranged  for 
my  tuition  in  a  college  of  elocution  in  the  Ta- 
bor Grand  Opera  House.  There  were  many 
Methodist  students  in  this  school;  among 
them  were  ministers,  and  in  the  same  classes 
were  persons  preparing  for  the  stage.  The 
principal  was  a  Unitarian  and  a  Christian  Sci- 
entist. Some  of  the  ministers  brought  their 
carefully-prepared  sermons  to  her  to  be  drilled 
in  oratorical  delivery.  She  took  the  liberty 

95 


96    LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

to  criticise  the  thought  expressed  in  their  ser- 
mons, and  to  strike  at  the  very  foundation  of 
orthodox  teaching,  sneering  at  the  blood  of  the 
atonement,  and  made  the  remark  that  she  had 
no  use  for  a  slaughter-house  religion.  She  told 
the  students  that  it  was  a  day  of  advanced 
thought,  of  culture  and  refinement,  of  which 
the  Unitarians  were  in  the  lead.  Mr.  White 
often  rebuked  her,  and  tried  to  offset  her  ar- 
guments by  a  plain  statement  of  facts;  but 
this  only  led  to  endless  discussion  and  took  up 
a  great  deal  of  time.  Providentially  I  was 
kept  from  taking  any  part  in  these  discussions. 
It  was  sad  to  see  her  influence  over  young  and 
unstable  souls. 

Joseph  Stocks,  a  bright  young  man  in  the 
last  year  of  the  University  course,  on  Mr. 
White's  suggestion,  took  some  studies  in  this 
school  of  elocution.  Little  did  Mr.  White 
know  that  this  step  meant  the  ruin  of  this,  his 
friend  and  schoolmate,  who  was  unconverted, 
and  the  subject  of  many  prayers.  "Joe"  was 
the  son  of  a  deceased  Methodist  minister.  A 
trap  was  laid  for  him  by  the  assistant  teacher 
in  this  school,  ten  years  his  senior,  who,  with 
the  help  of  Mrs.  S—  — ,  the  principal,  suc- 
ceeded in  winning  his  affections,  resulting  in 
their  marriage  and  his  going  into  the  Unitar- 
ian ministry.  The  hand  of  God  was  upon 
'him  and  he  lived  only  a  short  time.  Thus 


MAEEIAGE  97 

was  a  young  life  that   gave   promise  of  great 
usefulness  blasted. 

On  the  2ist  of  December,  1887,  Mr. 
White  and  I  were  united  in  marriage  in  the 
Asbury  M.  E.  Church.  We  continued  to 
pursue  our  studies  in  the  University,  and  at 
the  school  of  elocution.  We  were  studying 
Shakespeare,  when  Booth,  the  great  tragedian, 
was  announced  for  a  week's  performance  in 
the  city.  Mrs.  S—  -  said  that  her  students 
must  all  attend.  I  had  never  been  to  a  thea- 
ter, and  did  not  want  to  go,  but  the  enemy 
came  to  Mr.  White  as  an  angel  of  light,  and 
made  him  believe  that  it  would  do  no  harm  to 
go  once  for  educational  benefits.  He  bought 
a  couple  of  tickets,  against  my  will,  and 
begged  me  to  use  them,  which  I  finally  con- 
sented to  do.  After  I  was  seated  in  the  great 
auditorium  of  the  Tabor  Grand  Opera  House, 
the  same  building  in  which  we  were  studying 
elocution,  I  felt  like  I  was  in  the  ante- 
chamber of  pandemonium,  my  suffering  was 
so  great.  I  felt  and  believed  the  very  atmos- 
phere was  thronged  with  demons,  and  se- 
verely censured  myself  for  being  persuaded  to 
go.  While  I  had  a  fearful  conflict  with  the 
powers  of  darkness,  my  Savior  did  not  leave 
me,  knowing  that  in  my  heart  I  desired  to 
please  Him  more  than  anyone  else.  It  taught 
me  a  great  lesson;  after  this  I  walked  with 


TRINIfY   M,   B.   CHURCH,   DENVER,   COLO. 


MAEEIAGE  99 

Jesus  alone,  regardless  of  the  advice  of  others. 
After  going  to  this  theater  and  seeing  Hamlet 
played,  I  was  conscious-smitten,  and  said,  f  1 
will  not  have  a  diploma  from  this  college  of 
elocution,"  and  I  refused  to  finish  the  course. 

At  this  time  I  was  a  member  of  Trinity 
Methodist  Church,  and  was  singing  in  the 
choir  of  nearly  one  hundred  singers.  While 
the  new  building  was  being  erected,  the  Trinity 
people  held  their  services  in  the  Tabor  Opera 
House.  It  looked  like  the  Opera  House  would 
swallow  me  up.  I  became  alarmed,  as  I  was 
obtaining  no  spiritual  food  from  any  of  the 
services. 

There  were  musicales,  concerts,  church 
entertainments,  recitals,  University  receptions 
and  oratorical  contests,  all  carried  on  under 
the  name  of  religion,  and  highly  endorsed  *by 
the  University  of  Denver  and  other  Methodist 
institutions  of  the  city.  Notwithstanding  the 
spirit  of  pride  and  worldliness  that  I  saw  in 
them,  I  tried  to  think  that  some  of  the  people, 
at  least,  had  salvation.  There  were  many 
lectures  by  the  Bishops  and  others,  and  as 
my  husband  was  studying  for  the  ministry 
I  knew  of  no  way  at  that  time  but  to  attend 
them.  I  had  been  kept  in  the  barren 
wastes  of  Montana,  where  ofttimes  my  soul 
had  been  refreshed  by  the  hidden  manna, 
but  now  in  the  prosperous  city  of  Denver, 


100        LOOKING  BACK    FEOM  BETJLAH 

among  thousands  of  Methodists,  with  their 
great  University  and  magnificent  church  build- 
ings, my  soul  could  not  find  a  crumb  of  spirit- 
ual bread. 

I  desired  very  much  to  be  in  my  husband's 
company,  but  he  had  so  many  school  com- 
panions, and  friends  in  the  church,  that  it  was 
not  often  I  could  spend  an  hour  with  him 
alone.  He  had  made  a  reputation  in  the  book 
business,  canvassing  through  the  summer 
months  to  secure  means  with  which  to  pursue 
his  studies  in  school.  Many  young  men 
whose  means  were  limited,  came  to  him  for 
assistance,  and  he  often  spent  hours  in  drill- 
ing them  in  the  art  of  canvassing.  If  we 
walked  down  the  street  together  we  were  sure 
to  meet  persons  who  would  engage  him  in 
conversation  and  perhaps  ask  favors  of  him. 
In  addition  to  all  this  he  had  his  college 
studies,  conference  course  and  student's  ap- 
pointment. 

A  little  book,  written  by  W.  B.  Godbey, 
called  "Victory,"  providentially  fell  into  my 
hands.  It  threw  me  into  a  state  of  unrest 
in  regard  to  my  own  experience.  I  learned  by 
reading  it  that  I  needed  to  be  sanctified.  At 
different  times  I  had  heard  conversations  on 
the  subject  of  holiness,  and  a  number  of  per- 
sons with  whom  I  was  acquainted  professed  to 
be  sanctified,  but  there  was  nothing  in  their 


MAERIAGE  ,         ;;;^  ,,101 

lives  that  put  me  under  conviction.  I  knew 
my  experience  would  compare  with  theirs; 
here  the  enemy  had  a  snare  for  me.  Paul 
said,  ''They  measuring  themselves  by  them- 
selves and  comparing  themselves  among  them- 
selves are  not  wise"  (2  Cor.  10:12).  Had  I 
known  that  to  be  sanctified  means  the  crucifix- 
ion of  the  "old  man,"  or  the  destruction  of  the 
carnal  nature,  I  might  soon  have  been  deliv- 
ered from  my  bondage,  but  my  eyes  were 
on  a  great  blessing;  I  wanted  something  that 
would  make  me  feel  very  happy. 

Rev.  A.  C.  Peck,  a  Methodist,  preached 
one  morning  on  the  subject  of  holiness  at  a 
church  camp  meeting  near  Palmer  Lake,  Col- 
orado. He  invited  people  forward  to  the  altar 
to  seek  "the  blessing."  A  number  of  persons 
responded.  He  confessed  that  he  was  not 
sanctified  himself,  and  with  others  knelt  at  the 
altar  as  a  seeker.  There  was  no  fire  or  power 
in  the  altar  service,  and  when  those  who  had 
gone  forward  returned  to  their  seats,  they 
manifested  no  change  in  any  way.  Two 
persons  on  the  ground,  however,  I  believed  had 
something  the  rest  did  not  enjoy.  Satan  tried 
to  make  me  think  the  difference  between  them 
and  others  was  in  their  dispositions. 

When  I  first  met  Mr.  White  in  Montana, 
there  was  a  light  in  his  face  that  he  lost  after 
coming  to  Denver  to  attend  the  University. 


102         LOOKING  BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

I  expected  great  help  from  him  spiritually,  but 
instead  of  talking  salvation,  as  he  formerly 
did,  books  and  studies  were  his  theme . 

A  few  weeks  after  my  arrival  at  Denver, 
he  asked  me  to  go  with  him  and  spend  an 
evening  with  the  pastor  and  his  wife  of  Asbury 
Church.  I  had  been  so  long  isolated  from  the 
fellowship  of  Christian  people,  that  I  was 
looking  for  a  spiritual  treat,  but  to  my  disap- 
pointment the  time  was  spent  in  discussing 
the  languages, — Greek,  French,  Hebrew,  etc. 
I  had  never  studied  these  languages,  and  one 
can  imagine  how  much  out  of  place  I  felt. 
There  was  no  conversation  on  spiritual  sub- 
jects, and  no  benefit  was  derived  from  my 
visit  to  this  home. 

Mr.  White's  health  was  not  good  when 
he  entered  the  fall  term  of  the  University.  He 
was  overworked;  he  had  been  trying  to  do  too 
many  things.  I  did  all  I  could  to  induce  him 
to  give  up  his  studies,  and  asked  his  presiding 
elder  to  so  advise  him.  He  said:  "He  would 
better  stay  in  school.  A  young  man  who  has 
not  finished-  his  education  does  not  stand  much 
show  these  days. "  I  could  scarcely  conceal 
my  indignation  at  the  heartlessness  of  this  re- 
ply, especially  after  I  had  told  him  the  condi- 
tion of  my  husband's  health;  but  in  spite  of 
the  devil's  plans,  God  answered  prayer  in  his 
behalf  and  his  studies  were  dropped.  We 


MAEEIAGE 


103 


had  been  boarding  and  expected  soon  to  be- 
gin housekeeping  in  a  furnished  house  at  2233 
Champa  street. 

We  needed  fifty  dollars  to  pay  the  rent, 
and  knew  not  from  what  source  it  was  to  come, 
when  my  husband  was  called  to  his  charge 


2233    CHAMPA   STREET,   DENVER,   COLO. 

(student's  appointment),  at  Hugo,  Colorado, 
to  hold  a  funeral  service.  A  young  man  of 
the  town  had  been  on  a  drunken  spree,  and 
becoming  delirious,  wandered  away  in  the  cold 


104        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

and  darkness  with  only  his  night-clothes  on, 
and  perished  on  the  plains.  His  body,  not 
found  for  a  week,  showed  how  he  had  stag- 
gered and  fallen  on  beds  of  cacti  before  he 
became  completely  exhausted.  This  young 
man  had  been  brought  up  in  a  good  family, 
was  kind-hearted  and  well  liked.  The  people 
were  badly  broken  up  over  this  sad  ending  of 
a  young  life,  especially  the  saloon-keepers  and 
rough  men  of  the  town,  who  turned  out  en- 
masse  to  the  funeral.  Mr.  White  did  not 
know  who  was  dead  until  he  reached  the  place. 
In  the  opening  prayer,  power  and  grace  were 
given,  and  unprepared  as  he  was,  he  found 
the  divine  promise  true,  and  a  mouth  and 
wisdom  not  his  own  were  given  to  him.  The 
people  were  deeply  moved ;  tears  trickled  down 
the  cheeks  of  the  hard-hearted  men  as  he 
drew  a  picture  of  the  deceased  in  his  child- 
hood innocency,  with  a  mother's  love  and 
hope  for  her  bab}^  boy,  and  set  over  against  it 
his  death  alone  on  the  plains.  Heart-breaking 
contrast!  He  spoke  on  temperance  and  the 
righteousness  of  God's  laws,  and  concluded 
his  sermon  with  an  exhortation  to  them  to 
turn  from  their  sins  and  seek  the  Lord.  That 
evening  one  of  the  leading  hard  characters  of 
the  place  came  to  him  and  said,  "I  am  a  bad 
man!  You  touched  us — you  got  hold  of  us!" 
and  he  stopped  and  wept.  "I've  got  a  little 


MAEEIAGE  105 

present  for  you  from  the  saloon  people  and 
Catholics  of  the  town ;  no  Christians  had  any- 
thing to  do  with  it,"  and  he  handed  him 
$55.50,  saying,  "You  will  never  lack  for  a 
congregation  at  Hugo."  This  money  was 
given  in  answer  to  prayer.  Our  extremity 
was  God's  opportunity, 


CHAPTER    VIII 

LAMAR — PASTOR'S  WIFE — FURNACE  OF  AF- 
FLICTION 

ON  MARCH  1 5th,  1889,  Arthur  Kent, 
our  first  child,  was  born.  No  one  but 
God  knows  the  dreadful  ordeal  through  which 
I  passed,  or  the  years  of  suffering  that  awaited 
me  from  that  day.  Had  I  known  it  before, 
death  would  have  been  preferable.  In  reading 
God's  word  I  found  He  had  chosen  me  in  the 
furnace  of  affliction.  Like  the  woman  spoken 
of  in  Mark  5:26,  I  suffered  many  things  of  phy- 
sicians and  was  nothing  bettered,  but  rather 
grew  worse.  The  babe  was  six  months  old, 
when  my  husband  was  appointed  pastor  of 
the  Methodist  church  at  Lamar,  Colorado. 
He  wished  me  to  have  the  best  medical  treat- 
ment possible,  and  when  he  went  to  his 
charge  he  left  me  at  Colorado  Springs  to  be 
treated  by  a  specialist.  Arrangements  were 
made  for  me  to  stay  several  months.  After  a 
few  weeks,  realizing  but  little  benefit  from  the 
treatment,  I  gave  it  up  and  went  to  him  at 
Lamar.  He  was  disappointed,  fearing  that 
nothing  could  be  done  for  me  there.  I  read  a 
number  of  medical  works,  searching  in  vain 

106 


PASTOB'S  WIFE  107 

for  help.  After  reaching  Lamar  I  contracted 
a  severe  cold,  and  within  a  few  days  was  in  a 
critical  condition  and  confined  to  my  bed.  I 
could  find  no  comfort  anywhere.  There  were 
two  physicians  in  the  place;  one  was  a  moral 
man,  but  limited  in  knowledge  and  practice ; 
the  other,  a  dissipated  man  who  claimed  to  be 
an  infidel,  and  had  come  there  hoping  to  re- 
form. Though  but  twenty- eight  years  old,  he 
had  great  ability  as  a  physician  and  surgeon, 
and  was  making  a  specialty  of  the  diseases 
from  which  I  was  suffering.  We  decided  to 
give  him  a  trial.  For  two  years,  without 
charge,  he  did  everything  possible  to  better 
my  condition,  and  yet  there  was  only  a  slight 
improvement 

The  salaries  of  pastors  who  preceded  us 
had  been  largely  raised  from  church  festivals 
that  were  held  at  least  twice  a  month;  this 
was  appalling.  The  church  people  said  we 
would  have  to  pursue  the  same  course.  We 
told  them  that  we  would  not  receive  money 
gotten  in  this  way,  which  caused  much  com- 
ment and  criticism.  Some  of  them  said  we 
were  making  a  great  mistake  and  would  have 
to  come  to  it.  Others  were  really  indignant. 
We  took  it  to  the  Lord  in  prayer,  who  con- 
firmed us  in  our  course  and  assured  us  that 
our  needs  would  be  supplied. 

Nearly  three  months  passed,  in  which  we 


108       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

received  only  seven  dollars  from  the  church, 
yet  we  did  not  suffer,  for  the  Lord  provided 
for  us  from  other  sources. 

One  day  when  the  indifference  of  the 
people  sorely  grieved  us,  an  unsaved  man  who 
occasionally  attended  church,  came  to  our 
door.  He  had  been  out  and  secured  over 
four  hundred  dollars  in  subscriptions.  He 
said,  "I  am  not  a  Christian;  I  was  once, 
though,  and  I  know  what  true  religion  is.  I 
see  that  these  church  suppers  have  been  a 
curse  to  the  town.  I  have  been  watching  you 
very  closely,  Mr.  White,  and  appreciate  the 
stand  you  have  taken.  No  other  minister 
that  we  have  had  here  has  been  brave  enough 
to  do  it.  This  paper  you  may  turn  over  to 
your  stewards. "  Without  any  effort  on  our 
part,  the  money  was  brought  monthly  for  our 
support  and  laid  down  in  the  parsonage  during 
the  rest  ot  our  stay  in  the  place. 

There  being  no  church  suppers  now  to  oc- 
cupy the  time  and  minds  of  the  people,  they 
began  to  think  on  their  pitiful  spiritual  condi- 
tion and  to  pray  for  a  revival,  but  a  deeply- 
rooted  trouble  was  in  the  way.  The  suppers 
and  frolics  had  caused  a  division  among  the 
women  of  the  church  and  some  of  them  were 
not  on  speaking  terms.  One  woman  was  ac- 
cused of  stealing  cake  and  money.  In  strife 
for  honor,  two  members  of  the  church  ap- 


PASTOR'S  WIFE  109 

peared  at  a  social  dressed  as  Martha  Washing- 
ton, when  only  one  was  expected.  Husbands 
and  others  had  taken  sides  and  the  outcome 
was  a  scandal  or  two.  After  much  prayer  it 
was  decided  to  gather  all  the  parties  involved 
in  a  meeting  at  the  church. 

It  was  difficult  to  get  some  of  the  more 
obstinate  ones  to  come,  but  they  finally  yielded 
and  were  in  their  places  at  the  appointed  hour. 
The  pastor  delivered,  in  the  Spirit,  a  discourse 
on  the  *  'tongue. "  Before  he  had  finished  the 
sisters  were  weeping.  He  prayed  himself 
and  then  called  on  me  to  pray.  Some  one 
sobbed  aloud  and  a  general  melting  up  time 
followed.  Confessions  were  made  and  bar- 
riers removed,  and  soon  a  revival  broke  out  in 
our  midst,  forty  persons  uniting  with  the 
church  at  its  close. 

It  was  in  this  meeting,  although  weak  in 
body,  that  the  Spirit  began  to  move  me  to  ex- 
hort. We  had  tried  hard  to  get  an  evangelist 
to  come  and  help  us,  but  failed.  One  evening, 
at  the  close  of  the  sermon,  when  the  speaker 
did  not  have  his  usual  liberty,  thought  after 
thought  flashed  through  my  mind,  and  I  had 
a  conviction  that  I  ought  to  get  up  and  exhort 
the  people  to  come  to  the  altar.  Hesitating 
as  it  were  between  two  mighty  forces,  I  waited 
too  long  and  the  opportunity  was  gone.  That 
night  sleep  went  from  me  and  most  of  the 


110       LOOKING  BACK  FBOM  BETJLAH 

night  was  spent  in  prayer  and  bitter  weeping. 
The  enemy  tried  to  ease  my  conscience  by 
telling  me  that  women  had  no  recognition  as 
preachers  in  the  Methodist  Church,  and  that 
I  would  have  been  out  of  place.  I  awakened 
my  husband  to  talk  with  him  on  the  subject. 
He  said,  "If  you  want  to  speak  or  exhort  in 
the  meetings  I'll  open  the  way  for  you  at  any 
time."  A  few  evenings  later  I  was  again 
moved  by  the  Spirit  to  speak.  This  time 
I  was  more  strongly  impressed  than  before, 
but  just  as  I  was  about  to  rise  the  enemy 
whispered,  "You  will  make  a  great  blun- 
der if  you  attempt  to  speak."  I  hesitated 
and  again  the  opportunity  passed.  The  revival 
closed,  and  the  class-  meeting  was  the  only 
place  where  I  could  unburden  my  heart.  On 
the  following  Sunday  I  made  an  attempt  to 
break  through  the  powers  that  held  me,  but 
utterly  failed.  My  health  had  been  gradually 
improving,  but  after  this  I  lost  what  I  had 
gained. 

During  a  sleepless  night  I  became  im- 
pressed that  I  would  not  live  longer  than  a 
year.  I  wanted  to  go  to  my  home  in  Ken- 
tucky once  more.  The  doctor  said  a  change 
of  climate  would  do  me  good,  and  advised  me 
to  go  and  stay  for  at  least  six  months.  With 
our  thirteen-months-old  child,  I  started  on  my 
journey.  He  was  very  restless,  and  I  was 


PASTOE'S  WIFE  111 

kept  constantly  watching  him.  At  St.  Louis 
my  strength  gave  way  on  the  train,  but  it  was 
somewhat  regained  before  I  reached  Cincin- 
nati. After  having  been  delayed  a  day  at 
Paris  on  account  of  the  failure  of  trains  to 
make  connections,  I  reached  my  parents' 
home  at  Millersburg,  Kentucky.  The  child 
was  exposed  to  both  whooping  cough  and 
measles  on  the  road,  and  nine  days  after  our 
arrival  was  taken  down  with  both  diseases. 
His  life  was  almost  despaired  of  several  times, 
and  being  at  his  bedside  night  and  day,  I  had 
no  chance  to  recuperate. 

I  believe  that  God  had  a  special  purpose 
in  my  going  home,  and  as  my  health  had  not 
improved,  I  went  to  the  Lord  in  great  ear- 
nestness to  know  what  this  trip  was  for.  It 
flashed  upon  me  that  He  wanted  my  brother 
Charles  to  go  to  Colorado.  He  was  in  the 
senior  class  of  the  Kentucky  Wesleyan  Col- 
lege, and  the  school  was  to  be  moved  during 
the  summer  from  Millersburg  to  Winchester. 
As  this  would  mean  additional  expenses,  we 
knew  the  prospects  were  poor  for  him  to  finish 
the  course  in  this  college,  unless  the  Lord 
undertook  for  him.  His  expenses  would  be 
much  greater,  having  to  live  away  from  home. 
I  knew  if  he  came  to  Colorado,  with  my  hus- 
band's assistance  in  getting  located,  he  could 
graduate  at  the  University  of  Denver. 


112       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

Six  weeks  passed  before  the  baby  had 
sufficiently  recovered  to  stand  the  trip  back  to 
Colorado.  When  nearing  Kansas  City  he 
took  a  relapse,  and  some  persons  in  the  car, 
seeing  his  condition,  asked  how  far  it  was  to 
the  end  of  our  journey.  After  telling  them,  I 
heard  an  old  lady  say  in  an  undertone,  "The 
child  will  not  be  alive  when  she  reaches 
home. "  A  man  whom  I  took  to  be  a  German 
noticed  the  startling  effect  of  the  remark  upon 
me,  and  did  all  he  could  to  relieve  me  of  un- 
necessary fear.  He  took  it  upon  himself  to 
prepare  some  food  for  the  baby.  His  help 
and  sympathy  greatly  lightened  my  burden. 
When  he  reached  his  destination,  his  parting 
words  were,  'The  child  will  soon  be  all  right; 
you  need  not  fear."  This  was  another  mani- 
festation of  God's  goodness  in  providing  a 
friend  in  time  of  need. 

After  reaching  home,  in  my  imagination, 
I  could  see  my  brother's  face  almost  continu- 
ally. He  was  not  favorably  impressed  with 
the  thought  of  going  to  Colorado.  His  heart 
was  set  on  finishing  his  education  in  the  Ken- 
tucky Wesleyan  College.  I  made  his  coming 
West  a  special  subject  of  prayer  and  held 
onto  God's  promises  with  a  determination  not 
to  let  go  until  he  saw  the  way  was  closed 
against  his  going  to  school  in  Kentucky.  After 
three  months  Mother  wrote  me  that  Charles 


PASTOK'S    WIFE  113 

had  changed  his  mind  and  wanted   to   go   to 
Colorado. 

My  husband  had  aided  several  young 
men  and  women  in  securing  positions  in  Denver 
where  they  could  earn  a  part,  or  all  of  their 
expenses,  while  attending  the  University.  I 
did  my  best  to  interest  him  in  my  brother, 
but  he  made  no  effort  to  render  assistance  in 
any  way,  and  treated  the  matter  with  indif- 
ference. I  wanted  him  to  take  at  least  as 
much  interest  in  my  own  brother  as  he  had 
taken  in  other  young  men,  for  I  knew  that  with 
but  little  effort  he  could  open  the  way  for  him  to 
attend  the  school.  God  permitted  his  ap- 
parent indifference  as  a  test  to  me  and  a  trial 
of  my  faith. 

About  this  time  some  friends  from  a  for- 
mer pastorate  called  to  see  us.  The  burden 
of  their  hearts  was  to  get  their  son  into  the 
University.  My  husband  had  secured  a  place 
for  their  daughter  in  a  Methodist  family  where 
she  could  earn  her  board  while  she  attended 
the  school,  and  they  were  anxious  for  him  to 
assist  their  son  in  securing  a  position  where 
he  could  earn  a  part  of  his  expenses.  He 
assured  them  that  he  would  do  all  he  could  to 
help  the  young  man.  This  was  just  the  thing 
that  I  had  been  trying  to  get  him  to  do  for 
my  brother  Charles,  concerning  which  he  had 
manifested  so  much  indifference.  I  listened 


114        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

to  the  conversation  between  these  friends  and 
my  husband  until  I  could  no  longer  restrain 
my  tears,  and  slipped  out  into  the  church 
study,'  where  my  soul  was  poured  out  to 
God.  My  husband  soon  followed  me  and 
wanted  to  know  the  cause  of  my  grief. 
When  I  told  him  he  became  thoroughly 
interested,  and  three  weeks  later  my  brother, 
with  his  assistance  in  securing  reduced  rail- 
road rates,  arrived  in  Colorado.  My  brother's 
membership  was  transferred  from  the  M.  E. 
Church  South  to  the  M.  E.  Church  at  Lamar, 
where  he  was  licensed  as  a  local  preacher. 
Mr.  White  accompanied  him  to  Denver,  and 
after  a  few  days  of  fruitless  effort,  they  saw 
that  if  a  place  opened  for  him  it  would  have 
to  be  done  through  special  prayer.  After 
they  had  reached  their  extremity  and  placed 
the  matter  in  the  hands  of  the  Lord,  He 
opened  just  such  a  place  as  they  were  look- 
ing for. 

During  my  husband's  absence  the  baby 
became  seriously  ill,  and  my  health  was  in  no 
condition  for  me  to  take  care  of  him.  There 
was  no  one  available  whose  assistance  could 
be  secured,  except  a  little  girl  who  would 
come  in  and  stay  an  hour  or  two  each  day. 
The  germs  of  typhoid  fever  were  preying  on 
my  system,  and  though  not  able  to  be  up  I 
had  the  care  of  the  sick  child. 


PASTOB'S    WIFE  115 

The  premonition  of  death  that  I  had  had 
some  time  before,  I  knew  was  from  God.  In 
my  weak  nervous  condition,  and  with  my 
bodily  powers  greatly  depleted  I  became  an 
easy  prey  to  the  disease  that  now  took  a  strong 
hold  upon  me.  It  looked  like  the  end  of  my 
earthly  existence  was  near.  My  husband  re- 
turned, and  for  days  watched  constantly  at  my 
bedside,  and  as  I  rapidly  grew  worse  we  had 
to  have  help,  which  he  secured  with  difficulty. 
The  previous  thirteen  years  of  my  life  were 
reviewed  under  the  searchlight  of  the  Spirit; 
there  had  been  many  victories  over  which  I 
rejoiced,  but  there  had  also  been  failures, 
especially  those  in  the  revival  meetings  of  the 
previous  winter,  which  caused  me  much 
humiliation  and  sorrow.  The  conflict  often 
during  these  years  had  been  fierce,  and  there 
were  times  when  I  became  faint-hearted  and 
shrank  from  the  battle.  Great  clouds  would 
hang  over  my  spiritual  horizon  and  the  cross 
was  carried  when  I  almost  fainted  beneath  it, 
but  never  since  the  memorable  night  when  I 
took  it  up  had  I  dared  to  lay  it  down,  knowing 
that  Jesus  said,  [  'Whosoever  doth  not  bear 
his  cross,  and  come  after  me,  cannot  be  my 
disciple"  (Luke  14:27).  Many  times  I  was 
helped  on  the  way  by  the  following  hymn: 
"Must  Jesus  bear  the  cross  alone 
And  all  the  world  go  free? 


116      LOOKING  BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

"No,  there' s  a  cross  for  every  one, 
And  there's  a  cross  for  me. 

"The  consecrated  cross  I'll  bear, 
Till  death  shall  set  me  free; 
And  then  go  home,  my  crown  to  wear, 
For  there's  a  crown  for  me." 

From  day  to  day  my  body  was  racked 
with  pain ;  burning  fever  was  followed  by  hard 
chills,  and  as  death  seemed  to  be  near  I  felt 
more  and  more  my  unfitness  for  it.  During 
short  intervals  of  sleep,  I  dreamed  that  I  was 
a  child  again,  climbing  up  to  break  the  icicles 
from  the  eaves  of  the  house  to  quench  my 
thirst.  Just  as  I  was  ready  to  grasp  them  my 
foot  would  slip  and  they  were  never  reached. 
A  literal  fire  seemed  to  be  consuming  me  and 
I  was  well  aware  that  there  was  no  hope  if 
God  did  not  undertake  for  me.  Through  all 
my  suffering  my  mind  was  perfectly  clear. 
For  this  I  thanked  the  Lord,  as  I  wanted  to 
hear  His  voice  speaking  to  my  soul. 

I  had  a  skilful  nurse  who  did  all  in  her 
power  to  relieve  my  suffering.  She  had  come 
to  our  home  at  Mr.  White's  solicitation,  con- 
trary to  her  own  wishes  and  plans,  and  we 
knew  that  God  had  sent  her  in  that  critical 
hour.  The  physician  was  faithful,  and  seemed 
to  feel  a  great  responsibility  upon  him.  This 
man  was  not  a  believer,  but  it  was  clearly 
shown  us  that  the  anxiety  he  manifested  in 


PASTOK'S  WIFE  117 

my  behalf  was  put  upon  him  by  the  Lord 
without  his  knowing  it.  In  the  most  critical 
moments,  when  there  seemed  to  be  no  hope, 
he  would  say  to  the  nurse,  "This  woman 
must  not  die. " 

The  baby  would  often  stand  by  my  bed- 
side and  watch  me.  He  would  take  my  hand 
and  place  it  to  his  cheek,  then  draw  my  arm 
around  his  neck,  as  much  as  to  say,  "You 
must  not  leave  me."  The  thought  of  leaving 
him  motherless  was  more  than  I  could  bear. 
I  had  heard  of  mothers  who  became  resigned 
just  before  they  died,  to  leaving  their  children, 
but  it  was  not  so  with  me.  One  of  my  aunts 
and  my  eldest  sister  were  thus  resigned,  and 
their  last  moments  were  those  of  greatest  tri- 
umph. Some  of  the  old  saints  called  such  vic- 
tory "dying  grace,"  and  it  was  evident  that  I 
did  not  have  it.  I  was  disappointed ;  there  were 
thorns  in  my  pillow.  I  had  sung  many  times: 

i  'Jesus  can  make  a  dying  bed 

Feel  soft  as  downy  pillows  are, 
While  on  His  breast  I  lean  my  head 

And  breathe  my  life  out  sweetly  there. " 

Instead  of  my  head  being  on  His  breast 
as  the  end  was  approaching,  He  seemed  to  be 
very  far  away.  I  could  not  say: 

"My  soul  would  stretch  her  wings  in  haste, 
Fly  fearless  through  death's  iron  gate." 


118        LOOKING  BACK  FKOM    BEULA& 

Yet  I  did  not  think  I  would  be  lost,  but  I 
wanted  greater  victory.  Job  said,  "I  will 
speak  in  the  bitterness  of  my  soul.  I  will  say 
unto  God,  Do  not  condemn  me;  show  me 
wherefore  thou  contendest  with  me.  Is  it 
good  unto  thee  that  thou  shouldest  *  *  *  de- 
spise the  work  of  thine  hands?  *  *  *  Thou 
knowest  that  I  am  not  wicked;  and  there  is 
none  that  can  deliver  out  of  thine  hand. 
If  I  be  wicked,  woe  unto  me;  and  if  I  be 
.righteous,  yet  will  I  not  lift  up  my  head.  I 
am  full  of  confusion;  therefore  see  thou  mine 
affliction"  (Job  10).  Like  Job,  I  was  disposed 
to  reason  with  God  and  bring  my  complaint 
before  Him,  going  back  over  the  thirteen 
years  of  my  Christian  experience,  deploring 
my  failures  and  recounting  my  victories;  but 
if  I  tried  to  justify  m}Tself,  my  own  mouth 
would  condemn  me.  Yet  withal  there  was  a 
consciousness  that  I  had  made  an  heroic  effort 
to  please  God  in  all  things,  however  much  I 
might  have  come  short.  My  temperature  had 
reached  one  hundred  and  six  degrees,  and  had 
dropped  below  normal  in  fifteen  minutes.  I 
said,  'This  is  death."  Thinking  of  the  child 
and  making  one  more  earnest  plea  to  be 
spared  for  his  sake,  a  gentle,  chiding  voice 
said,  'Is  not  that  a  selfish  prayer?"  I  could 
see  it  then,  and  said,  "Yes,  Lord."  He  was 
bending  over  me.  A  vision  of  a  greater  work 


PASTOB'S  WIFE  119 

than  simply  living  for  the  child  was  flashing 
in  upon  my  soul.  I  had  thought  nothing  in 
that  hour  of  the  thousands  of  motherless  chil- 
dren in  the  world,  and  the  multitudes  of  men 
and  women  who  were  in  the  tombs  of  spiritual 
death,  and  needed  the  resurrection  power  of 
Christ.  Could  it  be  possible  that  I  had  been 
so  selfish?  Another  instant  and  my  heart 
was  singing: 

"Yes,  I'll  tell  the  wondrous  story 
Of  the  Christ  who  died  for  me; 
How  He  left  His  throne  in  glory 
For  the  cross  on  Calvary. 

"He  will  keep  me  till  the  river 

Eolls  its  waters  at  my  feet; 
Then  He'll  bear  me  safely  over 
Where  the  loved  ones  I  shall  meet.'7 

Trie  assurance  came  that  my  life  would 
be  spared,  not  only  to  sing,  but  to  preach  the 
Gospel.  After  this  I  sank  still  lower.  On  re- 
turning to  consciousness  I  wanted  to  tell  the 
nurse  that  she  need  not  be  anxious  about  me, 
for  the  Lord  had  spared  my  life  to  preach  the 
Gospel.  She  was  slightly  deaf  and  I  was  not 
strong  enough  to  make  her  hear,  and  did  not 
tell  her  until  the  next  day.  When  I  did  tell 
her  I  found  that  she,  too,  was  aware  that  the 
Lord  had  undertaken  for  me. 

I  was  no  sooner  able  to  be   up   than   my 


120       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

husband  was  taken  sick.  He  did  not  want  to 
give  up,  and  was  unwilling  to  have  a  physician 
called.  For  a  number  of  days,  and  until  com- 
pelled to  go  to  bed,  he  sat  by  the  fire,  suffering 
intensely.  With  difficulty  he  was  prevailed 
upon  to  take  some  medicine.  Shortly  after- 
wards he  happened  to  think  that  the  teacher 
of  the  infant  class  in  the  Sunday-school  was 
going  to  leave  town  and  it  would  be  necessary 
to  procure  another  to  fill  the  place.  The 
person  who  he  thought  would  take  the  place 
lived  on  the  outskirts  of  the  town.  A  cold, 
November  wind  was  blowing,  and  as  he  had 
no  one  at  hand  to  send,  he  determined  to  go 
himself,  and  I  was  unable  to  persuade  him  not 
to  run  such  a  risk.  I  believed  it  meant  his 
death  or  the  next  thing  to  it.  A  few  hours 
after  his  return  he  took  a  serious  relapse,  and 
at  the  same  time  the  baby  was  suddenly  taken 
ill — threatened  with  membranous  croup.  We 
could  get  no  help  only  as  the  neighbors  would 
come  in  and  offer  their  assistance.  An  elderly 
lady  sat  up  with  the  child  one  night  when  his 
case  was  very  critical.  Observing  the  ner- 
vous and  physical  strain  upon  me,  she  said, 
"If  you  will  rest  and  sleep  a  while  I  will  watch 
the  baby  every  moment."  With  reluctance  I 
took  her  at  her  word  and  went  to  sleep,  but 
was  suddenly  awakened,  as  though  some  one 
had  touched  me.  She  was  sitting  in  her  chair 


PASTOR'S    WIFE  121 

with  her  head  thrown  back,  fast  asleep,  and 
the  child  struggling  for  breath.  This  so 
frightened  me  that  I  was  unwilling  to  trust  him 
with  her  or  any  one  else  after  that.  While  he 
was  Slowly  recovering,  my  husband  was  con- 
fined to  his  bed  and  growing  worse.  His  suf- 
fering was  so  great  that  he  required  nearly  all 
of  my  time.  I  had  instantly  responded  to 
every  call,  until  one  night  he  dropped  into  a 
doze,  and  I  took  this  opportunity  to  rest  a  lit- 
tle. I  had  no  sooner  fallen  asleep  than  I 
heard  his  voice  as  if  from  a  great  distance. 
After  I  had  made  several  efforts  to  move,  and 
failed,  the  Holy  Spirit  whispered,  *  'Have  you 
reached  your  extremity  and  are  you  willing  to 
trust  him  to  me  now?"  An  hour  passed  and 
I  was  still  unable  to  move.  During  the  time 
I  seemed  to  be  on  the  bosom  of  a  great  ocean 
in  the  arms  of  the  Infinite  One.  Again  I 
heard  my  husband's  voice;  I  awakened  and 
found  him  propped  up  on  his  elbow  looking 
into  my  face.  There  was  a  decided  change  for 
the  better,  and  for  the  first  time  during  his 
illness  he  was  without  pain. 

As  soon  as  he  was  able  to  sit  up,  some  of 
our  Sunday-school  teachers  came  to  see  him 
about  having  a  Christmas  tree.  He  thought 
it  would  be  just  the  thing  to  create  new  inter- 
est, and  insisted  on  their  having  one  and  mak- 
ing it  a  success.  A  committee  on  program  was 


122       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

appointed  and  a  Mrs.    C was   chosen   to 

take  charge  of  the  exercises  and  see  that  the 
children  were  properly  trained.  She  was  a 
woman  of  culture,  a  fine  musician,  but  a  skep- 
tic. She  proposed  that  we  have  a  cantata, 
provided  I  would  take  the  leading  part, — that 
of  a  grandmother  entertaining  her  grandchil- 
dren on  Christmas  eve.  Grandmother  had  to 
appear  in  old  lady's  costume,  with  knitting  in 
hand,  in  company  with  grandfather,  who  was 
to  be  impersonated  by  the  Sunday-school 
superintendent.  On  the  program  was  a  solo 
which  grandmother  had  to  sing  in  a  broken 
voice,  to  make  merriment  for  the  children. 
With  conscience  smiting  me  during  the  rehear- 
sals, I  begged  many  times  to  be  excused,  but 
was  repeatedly  refused.  My  husband  pleaded 
with  me  to  take  part  to  please  him.  It  was 
hard  to  refuse  him  when  he  was  sick,  but 
thinking  perhaps  he  would  be  satisfied  if  I 
could  get  some  one  to  take  my  place,  I  went 

to  Mrs.  C and  begged  her  to  let  me   off, 

but  she  said  if  I  refused  to  carry  out  the  part 
assigned  to  me,  she  would  have  nothing  more 
to  do  with  the  Christmas  exercises,  and  for 
this  reason  I  supposed  I  would  be  compelled 
to  comply  with  her  wishes. 

The  tree  was  beautifully  decorated  and 
loaded  down  with  presents  for  the  children. 
Fearing  that  some  one  would  be  missed,  my 


PASTOB'S  WIFE  123 

husband  asked  me  to  stay  at  the  church  and 
see  that  none  were  overlooked.  The  excite- 
ment from  first  to  last  was  too  much  for  him 
and  his  temperature  rose  higher  than  it  had 
been  for  many  days.  I  greatly  desired  to  stay  at 
his  bedside,  but  to  this  he  would  not  consent, 
thinking  my  presence  was  needed  at  the 
church.  Several  times  during  the  afternoon, 
when  he  supposed  I  was  helping  with  the  tree, 
I  was  standing  on  the  steps,  listening  through 
the  slightly  open  door  to  his  breathing. 

Skilful  hands  had  arranged  the  drapery 
and  decorated  the  platform,  until  the  church 
looked  more  like  a  theater  than  a  house  of 
prayer.  The  Sunday-school  superintendent, 
who  appeared  as  grandfather  in  the  first  part 
of  the  exercises,  retired  and  came  out  as 
Santa  Claus.  Many  of  the  children  recog- 
nized him  by  his  voice,  and  appeared  to  be 
very  much  confused  over  the  matter.  After 
every  effort  possible  was  put  forth  to  treat  all 
the  children  alike,  some  were  overlooked,  and 
their  parents  manifested  their  displeasure  by 
taking  them  out  of  our  school.  Leaving  the 
church  that  night,  I  resolved  never  to  have 
anything  more  to  do  with  a  Christmas  enter- 
tainment, and  later  so  expressed  myself,  to 
the  manifest  displeasure  of  the  church  offic- 
iary. 

It  was  the  middle  of  January   before   my 


124      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM  BETJLAH 

husband  recovered  from  his  illness.  Soon  after 
he  was  able  to  be  up,  he  secured  the  help 
of  a  preacher  from  another  charge  and  began 
revival  meetings.  The  afternoon  services 
were  very  helpful  to  Christians,  and  a  number 
of  persons  were  seeking  a  better  experience, 
although  there  was  no  definite  preaching  on 
sanctification.  Feeling  a  great  lack  in  my 
soul,  I  began  to  fast  and  pray.  I  had  never 
fasted  previous  to  this  and  found  it  hard  to 
do,  for  I  had  been  using  coffee,  and  naturally  a 
headache  followed.  At  1 1  o'clock  I  was  really 
suffering;  this  troubled  me,  for  the  assisting 
preacher  had  fasted  a  whole  day,  or  two,  at  a 
time  without  any  inconvenience.  Before  noon 
I  resorted  to  coffee  for  relief.  As  the  Holy 
Spirit  searched  my  heart,  I  realized  that 
something  was  seriously  wrong,  yet  as  I  wept 
and  prayed  I  obtained  no  relief.  The  evan- 
gelist attributed  my  difficulty  to  hysteria. 
While  I  knew  this  was  untrue  his  remark  was 
a  hindrance  to  me,  and  so  confused  me  that  I 
did  not  pray  as  diligently  as  before  for  the 
longing  of  my  heart  to  be  satisfied. 


CHAPTER  IX 

A    MOUNTAIN    CHARGE HEART-CRY     FOR    PURITY 

AT  THE  CLOSE  of  the  second  year  at 
Lamar,  the  church  asked  again  for  my 
husband's  return.  We  knew  a  change  should 
be  made,  and  when  the  presiding  elder  heard 
of  the  months  of  suffering  through  which  our 
family  had  passed  he  said  he  would  do  all  he 
could  to  make  a  change  where  I  could  have 
the  advantage  of  mountain  air  and  pure  water, 
which  the  physician  said  were  very  necessary. 
We  packed  our  goods  before  leaving  for  the 
Conference  at  Denver  in  June  (1891).  My 
husband  had  finished  his  ministerial  course 
and  was  ordained  elder  at  this  session.  After 
two  or  three  days,  our  presiding  elder  said 
he  had  no  desirable  place  for  us,  and  it  looked 
like  we  would  have  to  return  to  Lamar. 

We  went  to  our  room  to  pray,  and  while 
on  our  knees  the  question  came  to  me  clearly: 
'  'If  it  is  God's  will  for  you  to  go  back,  will 
you  go,  even  though  it  costs  your  life?"  I 
said  "Yes."  Immediately  all  anxious  con- 
cern left  us  both  and  we  were  resigned  to  His 
will.  Later  we  met  our  presiding  elder,  who 
greeted  us  pleasantly  and  said,  "I  have  just 

125 


126       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

the  place  for  you,  where  there  is  nothing  to 
hinder  Sister  White  from  getting  well. "  It 
was  the  little  town  of  Morrison,  about  seven- 
teen miles  from  Denver,  at  the  foot  of  the 
hills,  known  for  its  beautiful  scenery,  pure  air 
and  pure  mountain  water,  and  just  such  a 
place  as  the  physician  had  recommended. 
God  saw  that  we  both  were  resigned  to  do 
His  will  and  He  did  not  require  us  to  return 
to  the  former  charge. 

In  a  few  days  we  were  at  Morrison  in  a 
private  boarding  house,  looking  for  a  suitable 
house  in  which  to  live.  The  best  we  could 
find  was  a  little  five-room  cottage,  which  was 
neither  ceiled  nor  plastered,  but  boarded  in- 
side and  out,  and  whitewashed. 

The  Ladies'  Aid  Society  was  making 
preparations  for  an  elaborate  fair  and  festi- 
val, and  were  busy  making  cotton  dogs,  mon- 
keys, rabbits,  and  various  fancy  articles. 
They  boasted  of  a  new  church  organ  which 
they  had  purchased  with  money  gotten  in  this 
way. 

Before  we  came  to  the  charge  the  presi- 
dent of  the  Aid  Society  had  turned  a  church 
social  into  a  dance.  She  was  not  a  member 
of  the  church  and  strongly  advocated  card 
and  dancing  parties.  She  had  a  flattering 
tongue  and  greeted  us  with  a  smooth  speech 
and  a  deceitful  look.  It  was  plain  to  be  seen 


A  MOUNTAIN   CHAEGE  127 

that  unstable  souls  would  be  easily  beguiled 
by  her.  The  church  people  had  allowed  her 
to  handle  all  the  money,  and  some  said  there 
had  been  much  more  paid  in  at  the  church 
festivals  than  she  had  accounted  for.  As  we 
were  opposed  to  church  fairs,  suppers,  or 
socials  of  any  kind,  we  took  a  stand  against 
them.  She  then  gathered  a  company  includ- 
ing a  number  of  school  children,  at  the  house 
of  a  friend,  who  she  thought  would  vote  with 
others  for  the  festivals.  I  was  advised  not  to 
attend  this  meeting  on  account  of  my  nervous 
condition,  but  as  the  time  approached  I  felt  I 
must  go  with  my  husband,  and  did.  She 
called  the  meeting  to  order,  and  set  forth  the 
advantages  of  church  festivals,  to  which  there 
were  many  assenting  voices.  Unable  to  re- 
main quiet  longer,  I  said,  "I  have  understood 
that  this  woman  has  run  the  Ladies'  Aid  Soci- 
ety into  a  dance  and  to  the  devil,  and  it  looks 
very  much  like  it  is  true.  Her  friends  were 
very  indignant  at  this  remark  and  it  was  some 
time  before  quiet  was  restored.  She  said  our 
support  would  be  a  "slim  affair"  after  that 
and  that  she  did  not  believe  we  would  receive 
five  dollars  between  that  time  and  spring. 

When  I  found  some  of  our  best  people 
questioning  whether  wisdom  had  been  used  in 
my  manner  of  speech  and  procedure,  I  was 
almost  persuaded  that  they  were  right,  and 


128      LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

somewhat  troubled  over  the  matter,  asked  a 
sister  to  go  home  with  us  and  pray  about  it. 
I  dreaded  to  have  the  presiding  elder  hear  of 
it,  although  I  believed  him  to  be  the  most 
spiritual  elder  we  had  ever  had.  After  kneel- 
ing in  prayer  and  uttering  only  a  few  sentences 
the  glory  of  God  began  to  fill  my  soul.  I 
arose,  saying  that  whomsoever  I  had  dis- 
pleased, I  was  sure  I  had  pleased  God. 

The  trustees  gave  their  consent  for  the 
festival  to  be  held  in  the  church,  regardless  of 
the  protests  of  both  my  husband  and  myself. 
It  was  a  veritable  " Vanity  Fair,"  and  would 
have  disgraced  a  common  hall,  much  less  a 
church,  and  all  was  done  under  the  name  of 
Christianity.  The  plan  was  to  apply  the 
money  on  the  pastor's  salary,  but  as  he  would 
not  accept  it,  it  was  laid  aside  for  his  succes- 
sor. There  were  no  more  church  festivals  while 
we  remained  on  the  charge.  Instead  of  our 
support  being  cut  off,  money  came  to  us  from 
the  most  unexpected  sources  to  supply  our 
every  need.  The  leading  merchant  and  busi- 
ness man  of  the  town,  although  he  made  no 
profession  of  Christianity,  after  hearing  of  the 
stand  we  had  taken  against  the  church  so- 
cials, placed  a  twenty  dollar  gold  piece  in  my 
husband's  hand,  and  told  him  that  as  long  as 
he  had  a  store  we  need  not  want  for  anything. 
After  this  he  gave  freely  to  our  support. 


A  MOUNTAIN  CHARGE  129 

The  gambling  devil  was  in  possession  of 
one  of  the  church  trustees  and  helped  him  to 
carry  a  fair  outward  appearance  in  business 
life,  and  to  manifest  a  real  devotion  to  his 
wife,  and  her  two  boys  by  a  former  husband. 
But  the  empty  shell  of  his  profession  collapsed 
and  with  it  came  the  loss  of  one  of  the  best 
properties  in  the  place —  a  house  belonging  to 
his  wife — which  he  had  gambled  away.  In  the 
sudden  downfall  he  left  without  saying 
good-by,  and  deftly  covered  his  track. 

As  the  holiday  season  was  approaching, 
the  people  began  to  plan  for  a  Christmas  tree 
entertainment,  and  were  very  anxious  for  the 
pastor  to  co-operate  with  them.  He  had  no 
definite  convictions  against  Christmas  trees 
and  gave  his  consent  to  their  having  it. 

I  knew  it  was  wrong,  from  my  experience 
of  the  previous  winter,  and  believed  that  it 
would  not  be  a  success.  On  the  night  of  the 
23d  there  was  a  great  snow-storm,  which  lasted 
all  the  next  day;  only  a  few  persons  were  seen 
on  the  streets  and  some  of  them  were  on 
horseback.  It  was 'plain  to  me  that  light  was 
being  given  us  to  walk  in  and  that  the  enter- 
tainment was  providentially  a  failure,  though 
others  were  loath  to  believe  it. 

I  had  been  using  coffee  for  a  number  of 
years.  The  physician  said  it  was  injuring  me, 
nevertheless  I  continued  to  use  it.  My  hus- 

5 


130       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

band  begged  me  to  quit  the  use  of  it  alto- 
gether, but  when  he  saw  my  weakness,  and 
that  he  could  not  prevail  on  me  to  quit  it,  he 
said  he  would  get  me  a  piano  if  I  would  prom- 
ise not  to  use  it  any  more.  I  gave  him  my 
word  that  I  would  do  so. 

True  to  his  word,  a  few  weeks  later,  he 
brought  a  beautiful  Weber  piano  into  our 
home.  He  had  had  some  money  in  a  building 
and  loan  association  with  which  he  bought 
the  piano.  I  was  delighted  with  it  of  course. 

Dinner  was  called.  I  was  pained  when 
asked  about  the  coffee.  At  a  time  previous 
to  this  I  had  done  without  it  for  six  long 
months,  and  the  struggle  to  make  the  sacrifice 
ended  in  defeat.  I  wanted  to  keep  my  word, 
and  fully  intended  to  do  so  when  the  promise 
was  made,  but  my  courage  failed  me,  and 
bursting  into  tears,  I  said,  "I  can't  give  it 
up!"  1  can  never  forget  the  painful  look  on 
my  husband's  face  when  he  saw  that  I  was 
wavering  about  the  coffee.  I  told  him  that  I 
could  give  the  instrument  up,  but  could  not 
go  through  what  I  had  in  the  past.  He  saw 
nothing  else  to  do  but  to  submit  to  my  weak- 
ness. 

Many  times  I  had  promised  the  Lord  to 
sing  for  Him,  and  a  number  of  hours  each  day 
were  spent  in  practice.  I  knew  there  were 
persons  who  did  not  preach,  but  simply  sang 


CEY    FOE    PUEITY  131 

the  Gospel,  and  I  hoped  that  the  Lord  would 
let  me  off  as  easily.  My  voice  was  strong,  and 
compassed  over  three  octaves,  and  a  specialist 
in  voice  culture  had  given  me  great  encour- 
agement, all  of  which  tended  to  divert  my  at- 
tention from  the  real  work  that  God  had  for 
me  to  do. 

On  the  24th  of  August,  1892  Ray,  our 
second  son,  was  born.  Being  now  the  mother 
of  two  children,  and  having  a  broken-down 
constitution,  I  could  see  no  way  to  fulfil  m}r 
promise  to  God.  The  tempter  tried  to  make 
me  believe  that  I  had  had  no  call  from  God  to 
preach  the  Gospel;  yet  from  time  to  time  I 
dreamed  that  I  was  standing  before  large  con- 
gregations, and  as  the  burning  words  went 
forth  from  my  lips,  the  people  were  held  as 
though  by  a  supernatural  power.  On  awak- 
ening I  would  say,  "O,  if  this  could  only  be  a 
reality,  and  the  messages  would  come  as  they 
do  in  my  dreams,  how  wonderful  it  would  be! 
I  knew  not  at  that  time  what  it  would  mean  to 
have  the  baptism  with  the  Holy  Ghost  and 
fire.  I  had  no  conception  of  what  it  means  to 
deliver  a  message  under  the  inspiration  of  the 
Spirit,  which  God  was  trying  to  show  me  in 
my  dreams. 

I  was  ignorant  as  to  my  true  standing  in 
spiritual  things.  When  our  presiding  elder 
came,  I  listened  to  every  word  he  said  in 


132       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BBULAH 

hopes  that  I  might  catch  something  that  would 
give  me  light,  but  my  hope  was  in  vain;  he 
had  no  food  for  my  soul.  As  the  Holy  Spirit 
searched  my  heart  from  day  to  day,  I  knew 
that  I  needed  to  be  sanctified,  but  whether  it 
was  God's  plan  that  I  should  have  such  an 
experience  in  this  life  or  not,  I  did  not  know. 
As  time  went  on  I  was  more  and  more  im- 
pressed with  the  fact  that  it  was  His  will  to 
sanctify  me  at  once.  It  frightened  me  to 
think  of  going  to  the  Judgment  and  finding  out 
when  too  late  that  the  great  plan  of  salvation 
had  been  fulfilled  only  in  part  in  my  life. 

John  the  Baptist  said,  <(I  indeed  baptize 
you  with  water  unto  repentance:  but  he  that 
cometh  after  me  is  mightier  than  I,  whose 
shoes  I  am  not  worthy  to  bear:  He  shall  bap- 
tize you  with  the  Holy  Ghost  and  fire"  (Matt. 
3:11).  Was  it  not  this  baptism  that  I  needed  ? 
The  Holy  Spirit  was  presenting  something  to 
my  heart  that  was  necessary  to  complete  my 
salvation  and  establish  me  in  grace.  Some  of 
the  old-time  saints  called  this  experience 
1  'dying  grace. "  I  believe  that  a  common- 
sense  view  of  it  was  to  have  living  grace,  and 
in  this  I  knew  I  was  deficient.  I  supposed 
when  one  had  received  the  blessing  of  sancti- 
fication  it  could  not  be  lost,  therefore  I  did 
not  understand  my  husband.  Comparing  my 
experience  with  his,  contrary  to  2  Cor.  10:12, 


CEY    FOR   PURITY  133 

I  concluded  that  if  he  was  sanctified  so  was 
I.  He  had  talked  and  written  to  me  on  the 
subject,  and  once  knelt  with  me  and  prayed 
that  I  might  receive  the  blessing;  but  after  we 
were  married  he  ceased  to  talk  or  pray  about 
it,  except  in  a  general  way,  as  ministers  with- 
out the  experience  often  do. 

He  took  me  to  Denver  to  hear  two  evan- 
gelists who  were  reported  as  having  great  re- 
vivals. In  this  visit  I  hoped  to  find  out  the 
secret  of  their  success,  but  I  found  nothing 
out  of  the  ordinary  in  their  services,  and  I  left 
the  meetings  disappointed.  The  feeling  which 
they  had  worked  up  was  excitement;  their  so- 
called  conversions  were  all  a  surface  work. 
Later  I  went  to  hear  '  'Mother"  Van  Cott 
preach,  but  received  no  help  from  her.  The 
train  on  her  skirt  and  her  fashionably-dressed 
hair  revealed  the  pride  of  her  heart,  and  I  did 
not  wish  to  see  nor  hear  heragain.  I  knew  that 
D.  L.  Moody  was  an  uneducated  man,  and  I 
read  his  books  seeking  for  help,  but  failed  to 
find  any  clear  teaching  on  the  subject  of  sanc- 
tification.  He  preached  some  theory  on  the 
second  work  of  grace,  but  that  was  about  all; 
yet  I  believe  he  had  the  Holy  Spirit  in  his 
early  ministry. 

My  soul  thirsted  for  the  waters  of  life, 
only  to  be  mocked  by  broken  cisterns  and 
turned  away. 


134       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM    BEULAH 

'  'I  longed  for  inward  strife  to  cease, 
And  prayed  to  have  His  perfect  peace." 

One  day,  after  my  husband  returned 
from  Denver,  he  said  that  we  both  were  living 
beneath  our  privilege,  and  that  he  intended  to 
renew  his  covenant  with  God.  There  was 
nothing  encouraging  to  me  in  the  thought  of 
renewing  covenants,  for  I  had  renewed  my 
covenant  a  great  many  times  only  to  be  met 
by  the  same  difficulties  and  overcome.  Birth- 
days and  holidays  were  special  days  of  cove- 
enant- making.  It  was  my  custom  to  watch 
the  old  year  out  and  the  new  year  in,  on  my 
knees.  I  would  review  the  old  year  and  shed 
tears  on  account  of  broken  promises,  then  de- 
termine to  give  more  time  to  the  study  of 
God's  word,  to  be  more  faithful  and  earnest 
in  prayer,  and  to  try  to  be  long-suffering  and 
kind  under  all  circumstances. 

The  enemy  tried  hard  to  make  me  believe 
that  my  impatience  was  due  to  my  nervous 
condition,  and  I  often  excused  myself  in  this 
way.  I  was  very  fond  of  music  and  art,  and 
the  physicians  advised  the  study  of  them  as  a 
diversion  for  the  mind  to  benefit  my  nerves, 
but  this  failed  to  bring  about  the  desired 
results. 

Again  the  holiday  season  rolled  around, 
and  preparations  were  being  made  for  another 
Christmas  tree  entertainment.  Strong  pres- 


CEY  FOE   PUEITY  135 

sure  by  my  husband  and  others  was  brought 
to  bear  upon  me  to  induce  me  to  take  some 
part  in  the  exercises,  and  notwithstanding  my 
past  experience,  I  yielded.  A  physician  in 
the  town  was  asked  to  take  part  in  the  exer- 
cises; this  was  regardless  ot  the  fact  that  he 
was  given  to  drunkenness  and  profligacy, 
which  resulted  in  the  breaking  up  of  his  family. 

Everything  was  being  put  in  readiness  at 
the  church,  when  a  message  came  for  my  hus- 
band to  call  and  see  a  woman  who  was  dying. 
He  went,  and  on  returning  rehearsed  the  sad 
story  of  a  mother's  awful  suffering  and  death. 
Her  husband  and  children  stood  by  the  bed- 
side, and  no  one  else  was  present  but  himself. 
She  had  been  sick  for  several  days,  but  the 
church,  so  occupied  with  festive  preparations, 
had  left  her  unvisited,  uncared  for  and  un- 
prayed  with,  except  in  her  last  moments. 
When  I  heard  the  facts  related  as  they  were, 
I  thought  of  the  words  of  Jesus:  "Inasmuch 
as  ye  did  it  riot  to  one  of  the  least  of  these,  ye 
did  it  not  to  me"  (Matt.  25:45). 

The  last  rehearsal  at  the  church  was  in 
progress,  but  the  physician  failed  to  appear, 
which  gave  the  committee  on  program  much 
concern.  Hearing  of  the  woman's  death,  I 
had  fears  for  our  baby,  who  had  taken  a  heavy 
cold,  and  I  left  for  home  immediately.  My 
niece  met  me  at  the  door  and  said,  '  'I  am 


136        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

glad  you  have  come,  for  the  baby  is  worse. " 
He  was  in  a  feverish  stupor.  The  doctor  was 
sent  for,  and  after  some  search,  was  found  half 
intoxicated  in  a  saloon,  which  accounted  for  his 
absence  from  the  rehearsal.  After  an  examina- 
tion he  said  the  baby  had  all  the  symptoms 
of  pneumonia,  and  ordered  a  hot  bath 
for  him.  The  water  had  already  been  heated 
for  the  purpose  and  was  brought  in  at  once. 
He  tried  to  take  the  child  from  my  arms  and 
put  him  into  the  hot  water  before  it  was  re- 
duced to  the  right  temperature.  My  husband 
came  in  after  the  bath,  and  thinking  I  had 
become  unnecessarily  concerned,  he  proceeded 
to  tell  us  that  everything  was  in  readiness  at 
the  church.  The  doctor  had  forgotten  the 
entertainment,  but  after  listening  to  Mr.  White 
he  was  anxious  to  go  and  help  sing  a  duet, 
for  which  he  had  practiced.  He  advised  that 
the  baby  be  wrapped  up  in  a  shawl  or  blanket 
and  left  on  the  bed,  and  said  he  would  be  all 
right  when  we  returned.  When  about  to  leave 
he  said  he  would  see  my  husband  and  myself 
at  the  church,  but  we  did  not  go. 

The  day  was  past  and  the  night  gathered 
her  shadows  in  the  canon  about  our  home, 
while  my  soul  brooded  in  heaviness.  I  believed 
that  God  had  permitted  affliction  to  chasten 
us,  and  begged  Him  to  stay  the  hand  of  death 
that  was  reaching  out  for  our  child .  Two 


CEY   FOE    PUKITY  137 

hours  later  I  felt  that  I  was  looking  into  an 
open  grave.  The  stillness  of  the  room  was 
broken  by  some  persons  who  came  from  the 
church  to  tell  us  that  the  Christmas  entertain- 
ment was  a  failure,  and  that  the  people  had 
gone  away  disappointed.  The  latter  part  of 
the  night  I  was  left  to  watch  by  the  baby 
alone.  I  took  this  opportunity  to  pour  out  my 
soul  in  prayer  to  God,  but  received  no  assur- 
ance that  the  child  would  recover.  After  a 
fearful  struggle  I  gave  him  up  and  became  re- 
signed to  the  will  of  God. 

There  was  not  much  change  in  him  until 
about  noon  the  next  day,  when  he  rapidly 
grew  worse.  The  doctor  was  somewhere  try- 
ing to  sober  up  after  his  drunken  debauch,  and 
another  physician  was  called,  who  was  a 
stranger  in  the  town.  After  seeing  the  child 
he  expressed  but  little  hope  for  his  recovery. 
This  was  no  surprise  to  me,  but  was  a  great 
shock  to  my  husband,  whom  I  had  not  been 
able  to  convince  of  the  baby's  true  condition. 
Could  he  have  realized  it  before  it  would  have 
been  a  great  relief  to  me,  and  made  it  much 
easier  for  me  to  become  reconciled. 

At  3  o'clock  the  following  morning  the 
baby  was  sinking  fast.  His  head  was  drawn 
back  and  his  eyes  were  setting  in  death.  As 
a  final  remedy  the  doctor  was  applying  a  mus- 
tard plaster  to  the  back  of  his  neck.  They 


138       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

called  me  to  see  him  breathe  his  last.  My 
husband  in  great  sorrow  said,  "He  will  never 
look  on  our  faces  again,"  then  turned  and 
went  quickly  into  his  study.  The  child,  to 
him,  was  strangely  wrapped  up  in  a  covenant 
made  with  God  in  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer 
on  the  mountain-side,  before  his  birth.  He 
promised  to  press  forward  with  all  his  soul  and 
walk  the  pathway  of  absolute  faith  and  trust, 
in  the  fullest  abandonment  to  God.  He  had 
failed  to  keep  his  covenant,  and  as  he  entered 
the  study  he  fell  upon  his  knees  and  cried  out 
to  God  in  great  soul  travail.  Receiving  assur- 
ance, he  came  out  and  said  to  me,  "I  believe 
God  is  going  to  spare  the  baby's  life."  The 
critical  hour  of  this  night  soon  passed  and  the 
child  was  better. 

The  doctor  was  present,  and  heard  my 
husband's  prayer  in  the  adjoining  room,  and 
the  surprising  statement  that  he  believed  that 
God  would  spare  the  child's  life.  The  child 
was  completely  restored  in  a  short  time,  but 
the  doctor  took  the  credit  to  himself,  and 
built  up  a  reputation  on  the  strength  of  it;  in 
the  meantime  his  own  little  girl  and  two  other 
children  whom  he  was  attending,  died,  and  he 
lost  favor  with  the  people  and  the  reputation 
he  had  gained.  God  says  in  His  word  that 
He  will  not  give  His  glory  to  another. 

After  this  experience,  we  more  than   ever 


CEY  FOE  PUEITY  139 

desired  to  see  the  salvation  of  the  lost,  and 
held  a  revival  meeting  with  the  assistance  of 
two  pastors,  but  there  was  very  little  accom- 
plished. Sorely  grieved  over  the  results  of 
the  meeting,  I  determined  to  fast  and  pray  to 
ascertain  if  possible  what  was  in  the  way.  I 
prayed  for  the  church  members  and  outsiders, 
calling  them  by  name,  when  the  Spirit  whis- 
pered to  me,  "Pray  for  yourself."  As  the 
searchlight  was  turned  on  my  heart,  discoveries 
were  made  that  astonished  me,  and  I  cried 
out  for  deliverance.  Longing  for  purity,  the 
self-life  became  more  and  more  intolerable, 
and  no  one  but  God  understood  the  cry  of  my 
soul. 


CHAPTER   X 

CONSECRATION    AND    SANCTIFICATION 

ON  A  SUNDAY  EVENING  the  church 
organist  was  absent  and  I  was  called 
upon  to  take  her  place.  The  pastor  did  not 
have  his  usual  liberty,  aod  the  Spirit  moved 
me  to  give  an  exhortation.  There  was  an  in- 
tense burning  in  my  breast,  and  a  pressure 
upon  me  greater  than  I  had  ever  felt  before. 
I  thought  of  past  failures  and  the  suffering 
that  they  had  brought,  and  believed  that  the 
Holy  Spirit  for  the  last  time  was  trying  to 
press  me  out,  and  felt  that  I  must  seize  the 
opportunity  or  lose  my  salvation. 

Thoughts  of  Naaman  the  Syrian,  and 
the  awful  leprosy  of  sin  of  which  this  disease  is 
a  type,  were  going  through  my  mind.  There 
was  a  book  lying  near  me  with  a  song  entitled 
'  'Naaman  the  Leper, "  and  the  enemy  sug- 
gested that  I  sing  this  song  instead  of  trying 
to  speak.  I  knew  I  could  readily  find  it,  for 
it  was  the  last  one  in  the  book.  I  had  sung 
only  part  of  the  first  verse  when  my  eyes  and 
voice  failed  me,  and  the  result  was  a  complete 
break-down.  There  were  two  persons  in  the 
congregation  who  contributed  largely  to  our 

140 


CONSEOEATION 


141 


support,  who  did  not  believe  in  women  preach- 
ing. Satan  reminded  me  of  this  and  sug- 
gested that  if  I  were  to  displease  them  it  would 
probably  cut  off  our  support,  and  help  ful- 


i 


LBPBRS  OUTSIDE  THE  GATE 


fill  the  predictions  of  those  who  had  opposed 
us  in  the  stand  we  took  against  church  sup- 
pers and  entertainments.  For  a  moment  the 
conflict  was  fearful.  Throwing  the  song  book 
aside  I  stood  trembling  before  the  congrega- 
tion; instantly  my  lips  were  touched  with  a 


142        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

live  coal  and  a  fiery  stream  of  words  went 
forth.  All  fear  had  entirely  left  me.  For  the 
first  time  in  my  life  I  had  discovered  the  se- 
cret of  preaching — it  is  not  in  carefully  pre- 
pared sermons,  but  by  His  Spirit.  The  mes- 
sage came  straight  from  heaven  and  struck 
the  audience  with  such  power  that  they  sat 
spellbound.  A  young  man  said  afterward  that 
he  felt  the  bottomless  pit  was  opening  to  re- 
ceive him.  I  had  a  premonition  that  this 
anointing  would  not  abide  with  me,  and  after 
leaving  the  church,  my  soul  apparently  was 
plunged  into  greater  darkness  than  ever. 
Like  Job,  the  thing  that  I  feared  came  upon 
me.  The  Holy  Spirit  taught  me  one  of  the 
greatest  lessons  of  my  life  by  momentarily 
resting  upon  me  in  the  enduement  of  power. 
Conditions  had  not  been  met  by  which  the 
temple  could  be  made  clean,  hence  He  could 
not  abide.  In  anguish  I  cried: 

"Betura,  O  Holy  Dove,  return, 

Sweet  messenger  of  rest; 
I  hate  the  sin  that  made  Thee  mourn 
And  drove  Thee  from  my  breast. ' ' 

In  this  dreadful  darkness  I  was  left  with- 
out human  help  or  sympathy,  to  weep  over 
my  desolation.  I  asked  my  husband  to  pray 
with  me,  and  after  offering  a  few  words  he 
expressed  himself  as  not  being  able  to  un- 


CONSECRATION  143 

derstand  me,  and   retired,  leaving   me   alone. 

Jeremiah  says,  'The  heart  is  deceitful 
above  all  things  and  desperately  sick"  (17:9 
R.  V.  ).  There  was  no  help  for  me,  except 
through  the  blood  of  Christ,  which  could  be 
made  effectual  only  through  consecration  and 
faith.  Had  there  been  some  one  to  instruct 
me,  I  would  no  doubt  have  been  saved  from 
the  two  week's  struggle  which  followed;  how- 
ever, the  Holy  Spirit  enabled  me  to  take  the 
definite  steps  of  consecration  and  all  was  laid 
upon  the  altar  for  time  and  eternity. 

I  had  a  great  desire  to  have  my  voice 
cultivated,  and  had  spent  much  time  and 
money  on  it,  but  now  I  turned  it  over  to  the 
Lord,  willing  to  have  it  a  success  or  a  failure 
as  He  saw  best.  Among  the  last  things  sur- 
rendered was  coffee,  and  from  this  time  I  had 
no  more  desire  for  it.  All  my  efforts  to  give 
it  up  before  had  failed.  Now  with  the  help  of 
Jesus,  and  for  His  sake,  it  was  made  easy  for 
me.  To  Him  be  all  the  glory.  Feeling  that 
all  was  on  the  altar,  I  wondered  that  the  fire 
did  not  fall.  My  husband  noticed  the  change 
that  had  come  over  me  and  saw  that  I  needed 
help  in  both  soul  and  body,  and  immediately 
made  preparations  to  take  me  to  see  a  physi- 
cian living  in  Denver  who  claimed  to  be  sanc- 
tified. 

On  the  1 5th  of  March,  nine  days   after   I 


144      LOOKING    BACK   FEOM    BEULAH 

had  made  my  consecration,  he  took  me  to  see 
the  physician.  He  received  us  very  cordially, 
and  after  asking  a  few  questions  about  our 
work,  he  said,  '  'I  understand  you  have  been 
preaching. "  He  saw  this  somewhat  embar- 
rassed me,  and  changed  the  subject,  avoiding 
questions  concerning  my  health.  He  no  doubt 
knew  that  I  needed  help  for  my  soul  more 
than  for  the  body.  He  told  how  he  fasted  for 
many  hours  and  waited  before  God  for  heart 
cleansing,  and  how  wonderfully  God  came  and 
sanctified  him.  The  number  of  hours  that  he 
fasted  was  a  longer  period  than  I  had  ever 
abstained  from  food,  and  I  wondered  if  I  could 
hold  out  until  "the  blessing"  came,  as  he  had 
done.  He  said  he  believed  that  I  was  conse- 
crated and  asked  me  to  take  "the  blessing" 
by  faith.  While  waiting  on  our  knees  in 
prayer  I  agreed  to  do  so  on  the  authority  of 
God's  word.  Patients  were  waiting,  and  feel- 
ing it  would  not  be  right  to  take  any  more  of 
his  time,  we  left  his  office  and  started  for 
home.  We  had  not  gone  more  than  a  block 
when  the  enemy  accused  me  of  being  a  hypo- 
crite for  claiming  something  I  did  not  have. 
Frightened  at  the  thought,  I  let  go  my  hold  on 
the  promises,  and  my  soul  was  soon  in  greater 
distress  than  before.  After  reaching  home 
I  fasted,  prayed  and  searched  the  Bible  more 
diligently  than  ever  before.  At  almost  every 


MBS.    ALMA  WHITE— A  LATE   PICTURE. 


CONSECEATION  145 

place  that  I  opened  it  my  eyes  rested  on  some 
passage  relating  to  holiness  or  the  'enduement 
of  power.  The  following  scriptures  were  read 
and  re-read  in  my  search  for  the  pearl  of  great 
price:  "Follow  peace  with  all  men  and  holi- 
ness, without  which  no  man  shall  see  the 
Lord"  (Heb.  12:14);  "Be  ye  holy,  for  I  am 
holy"  (Lev.  19:2;  i  Peter  1:16);  'Tut  on 
the  new  man  created  in  righteousness  and 
true  holiness"  (Eph.  4:24);  "That  we  should 
be  holy  before  him"  (Eph.  1:4);  "This  is  the 
will  of  God,  even  your  sanctification"  (i  Thess. 
4:3).  There  was  no  going  back;  I  must  go 
forward  at  any  cost,  for  it  was  now  holiness 
or  hell. 

On  the  1 6th  I  went  to  my  husband's 
study  and  asked  him  if  he  had  any  books  on 
the  subject  of  holiness.  He  pointed  to  a  book- 
shelf where  there  were  a  number  of  books  by 
different  authors,  among  them,  Steele's  "Love 
Enthroned,"  Bishop  Foster's  "Christian  Pur- 
ity," J.  A.  Wood's  "Perfect  Love,"  Wesley's 
"Christian  Perfection,"  and  M.  W.  Knapp's 
"Out  of  Egypt  into  Canaan."  I  was  im- 
pressed to  take  the  latter  on  account  of  its 
title.  I  knew  what  the  bondage  of  sin  was 
before  I  crossed  the  Red  Sea  of  conversion, 
and  that  I  had  been  a  number  of  years  in  the 
wilderness  experience.  I  read  about  the  Ca- 
naan of  rest,  but  to  this  I  was  a  stranger, 


146       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

although  my  feet  were  at  the  Jordan's  edge, 
where  I  had  been  waiting  many  days  for  the 
waters  to  part.  For  years  I  had  eaten  of  the 
manna  that  had  fallen  from  heaven,  and  the 
waters  that  flowed  from  the  smitten  rock  often 
quenched  my  burning  thirst,  and  now  the 
promised  land,  with  its  luscious  fruits  was  lying 
out  before  me.  There  was  milk  and  honey, 
old  corn  and  new  wine,  but  between  me  and 
this  wonderful  land  rolled  a  river  overflowing 
its  banks.  God  gave  me  a  glimpse  of  some- 
thing better  than  the  manna  of  a  justified  ex- 
perience which  had  sustained  me  through  the 
years.  All  fear  of  the  giants  of  the  land  had 
left  me,  and  the  only  question  was  how  to 
enter  in.  Almost  prostrated  physically,  I 
cried,  "Lord,  I  must  have  help,  and  it  must 
come  quickly!"  I  knew  that  another  moment 
of  vital  importance  was  at  hand,  and  that  the 
matter  must  be  settled  at  once.  I  dared  not 
sleep,  and  spent  the  night  in  prayer.  The 
morning  dawned  and  apparently  no  progress 
had  been  made,  unless  it  was  in  an  increased 
desire  to  possess  the  land. 

In  the  after  part  of  the  second  night  I 
dropped  off  to  sleep,  hoping  that  I  might 
wake  up  in  Canaan.  I  opened  my  eyes  just 
as  the  clock  was  striking  seven,  disappointed 
to  find  the  Jordan  was  still  between  me  and 
the  promised  land. 


SANCTIPICATION  147 

It  was  not  God's  plan  to  take  me  over  in 
my  sleep;  the  event  was  of  too  much  impor- 
tance. It  was  now  the  i8th  of  March  (1893), 
fifteen  years  after  my  conversion.  Two  sleep- 
less nights  had  been  spent  during  this  time  of 
fasting  and  prayer;  I  had  been  searching 
books  and  the  Scriptures  on  the  subject  of 
holiness,  but  no  relief  was  obtained.  The 
darkness  was  growing  more  and  more  intense 
and  I  seemed  to  be  on  the  verge  of  despair. 

My  husband  had  a  slight  attack  of  asthma 
and  had  been  sleeping  a  few  nights  in  an 
adjoining  room,  where  he  could  have  the  ben- 
efit of  better  ventilation,  and  knew  nothing  of 
the  ordeal  through  which  I  was  passing,  until 
I  went  to  his  room  a  few  minutes  after  seven 
o'clock  and  told  him  all  about  it.  On  hearing 
my  story  he  was  greatly  surprised.  I  told  him 
I  could  never  help  him  again  in  his  church 
work,  for  I  had  utterly  failed  to  receive  the 
blessing  which  I  so  much  desired  and  for 
which  I  had  been  seeking  for  many  days.  I 
felt  if  deliverance  did  not  come  soon  there 
was  nothing  awaiting  me  but  death.  With 
the  help  of  the  Spirit,  he  said  all  he  could  to 
encourage  me;  when  at  a  loss  for  something 
more  to  say,  he  waited,  then  added,  "Jesus 
loves  you  more  than  I  do,  more  than  any 
earthly  friend. "  I  felt  myself  sinking,  when  he 
said,  '  The  everlasting  arms  are  beneath  you. " 


148       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

This  seemed  almost  too  wonderful  to  be  true. 
At  that  moment  I  saw  Jesus  on  the  cross  look- 
ing at  me  with  great  pity  and  compassion. 
His  head  was  crowned  with  thorns  and  the 
blood  was  dripping  from  His  brow.  Never 
had  I  seen  such  a  picture.  Only  a  moment 
were  my  eyes  fixed  upon  Him  when  I  was 
enabled  to  say,  "His  blood  cleanses  me  from 
all  sin,  and  underneath  are  the  everlasting 
arms."  In  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  my  feet 
were  placed  on  holy  ground.  There  was  no 
particular  manifestation  of  God's  power,  but 
great  soul  rest.  Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!  The 
enemy  suggested  that  the  blessing  was  not 
great  enough  and  that  I  must  have  something 
more  before  I  could  claim  sanctification.  I 
said,  "Get  thee  behind  me,  Satan;  my  heart 
is  cleansed  and  is  henceforth  to  be  the  abiding 
place  of  the  Holy  Spirit."  There  was  a  deep 
realization  of  purity  in  the  depths  of  my  soul 
such  as  I  had  never  known  before.  My  heart, 
which  had  been  like  a  whitened  sepulcher, 
was  now  transparent,  the  temple  of  God,  and 
I  would  have  been  willing  for  the  whole  world 
to  have  looked  through  it.  There  were  no 
fears  of  the  Comforter  leaving  the  house  of 
which  He  had  taken  possession.  I  knew  that 
He  would  stay  in  such  a  heart.  Years  have 
passed  and  there  has  never  been  a  time  that  I 
have  not  been  conscious  of  His  abiding  pres- 


SANCTIFICATION  149 

ence.  When  severely  tested,  I  have  stood 
by  faith  alone  and  claimed  the  victory 
through  the  atoning  blood.  I  have  said, 
"The  blood  cleanseth,  the  blood  cleanseth 
just  now. "  In  the  trying  hour  I  have  held 
fast  the  profession  of  my  faith  without  waver- 
ing, and  God  has  given  me  the  reward  of 
faith. 

Having  been  robed  in  the  garments  of 
purity,  my  soul  had  at  last  awakened  as  if  in 
obedience  to  the  command  of  the  prophet, 
who  said,  '  'Awake ,  awake,  put  on  thy  strength, 
O  Zion ;  put  on  thy  beautiful  garments — shake 
thyself  from  the  dust — loose  the  bands  from 
off  thy  neck,  O  captive  daughter  of  Zion" 
(Isa.  52: [-2). 

My  bands  were  broken,  I  had  arisen  from 
the  dust  and  was  robed  in  white.  '  Therefore 
my  people  shall  know  my  name;  therefore 
they  shall  know  that  I  am  he  that  doth  speak ; 
behold  it  is  I"  (Isa.  52:6).  He  had  spoken  to 
my  soul,  I  had  proved  the  truth  of  His  word: 
"His  name  shall  be  called  Jesus,  for  he  shall 
save  his  people  from  their  sins"  (Matt.  1:21). 
"Therefore  Jesus  also,  that  he  might  sanctify 
the  people  with  his  own  blood,  suffered  with- 
out the  gate"  (Heb.  13:12).  Years  before, 
He  had  saved  me  from  my  actual  transgres- 
sions, now  He  had  cleansed  me  from  inbred 
defilement.  The  Lord  Jehovah  made  bare 


150       LOOKING  BACK  FBOM  BEULAH 

His  holy  arm  and  I  knew  His  great  salvation. 
For  me  the  wilderness  and  the  solitary  place 
were  made  glad,  and  the  desert  (my  soul) 
blossomed  as  the  rose.  The  problem  of  years 
was  solved;  I  had  found  the  great  salvation 
that  is  destined  to  fill  the  whole  earth. 

The  joys  of  salvation  are  flowing, 

I'm  living  in  Canaan's  fair  land; 
I  came  to  the  great  swelling  Jordan, 

And  crossed  o'er  with  Joshua's  band; 
My  heart  is  now  filled  with  His  rapture, 

My  days  are  so  happy  and  blest, 
I'm  singing  and  shouting  His  praises, 

Oh,  how  could  there  be  sweeter  rest? 

CHO. — In  Canaan  there's  fruit  in  abundance, 
In  gardens  where  olive  trees  grow; 
I  drink  the  new  wine  of  the  kingdom, 
Where  rivers  of  life  ever  flow. 

The  shadows  that  once  gathered  round  me, 

No  longer  my  pathway  pursue, 
•  I'm  walking  through  vales  of  His  promise, 

Near  hills  that  are  sparkling  with  dew. 
Oh,  how  can  I  tell  of  such  rapture ! 

Oh,  who  can  the  myst'  ry  unfold ! 
The  mountains  are  dripping  with  honey,— 

The  glory  of  God  I  behold. 

The  days  of  my  mourning  are  over, 

And  heaven  is  coming  in  sight, 
The  glory  of  God  is  appearing, 

O'er  hills  that  are  glowing  with  light; 

The  angelic  chorus  is  swelling, 


SANCTIFICATION  151 

The  saved  of  all  ages  are  there, 
For  all  who  have  suffered  with  Jesus, 
His  riches  in  glory  will  share. 

My  experience  was  similar  to  that  of 
Kepler,  who,  after  seventeen  years  of  unflag- 
ging toil,  was  rewarded  by  the  discovery  of 
the  three  great  laws  which  made  his  name 
famous.  In  rapture  over  his  glorious  triumph, 
he  exclaimed,  "Nothing  holds  me!  The  die 
is  cast!  The  book  is  written,  to  be  read  now 
or  by  posterity,  I  care  not  which!  It  may 
well  wait  a  century  for  a  reader,  since  God 
has  waited  six  thousand  years  for  an  ob- 
server!" Kepler  knew  that  the  truth  of  his 
discovery  must  be  accepted  sooner  or  later. 
They  were  God's  laws  which  had  been  in  op- 
eration since  before  the  morning  stars  sang 
together,  and  were  co- existent  with  Himself, 
and  so  with  the  law  of  holiness;  God  is  holy, 
and  all  who  expect  to  live  in  harmony  with 
Him  and  escape  the  penalty  of  sin  must  be 
made  holy.  "Be  ye  holy  as  I  am  holy,"  is 
provided  for,  Peter  says,  by  "the  precious 
blood  of  Christ,  who  verily  was  foreordained 
before  the  foundation  of  the  world"  (i  Peter 
1:16-20),  and  was  typified  by  the  bloody  sac- 
rifice which  Abel  brought  as  an  offering  for 
sin.  God's  eternal  foreknowledge  of  Christ's 
redeeming  sacrifice,  and  purpose  to  have  us 
sanctified  through  it,  adds  to  the  meaning  and 


152       LOOKING   BACK   FEOM   BEULAH 

obligation  of  our  receiving  and  maintaining   a 
holy  life  before  Him. 

I  had  been  a  member  of  the  Methodist 
church  for  many  years  and  had  heard  pastors, 
presiding  elders  and  bishops  preach,  but  did 
not  remember  of  ever  having  heard  a  definite 
sermon  preached  on  the  second  work  of  grace, 
notwithstanding  the  fact  that  the  doctrine  of 
holiness  has  been  called  "the  brightest  star  in 
the  constellation  of  Methodism."  Unsancti- 
fied  preachers  will  not  have  it  preached  in 
their  churches  for  fear  of  losing  their  carnal 
members.  They  cannot  stand  Bible  truth. 
We  once  heard  a  faithful  minister  say,  "If 
one  wants  to  get  along  easily  in  the  popular 
churches  of  to-day,  he  must  not  tinker  with 
religion." 

The  cry  everywhere  is  that  holiness  splits 
the  churches,  and  this  is  true.  If  it  were  not 
so  there  would  be  no  one  who  would  escape 
the  judgments  of  God,  for  the  old  denomina- 
tions will  become  the  storm  centers  of  His 
wrath  during  the  great  tribulation. 

"No  man  putteth  a  piece  of  new  cloth 
into  an  old  garment,  for  that  which  is  put  in 
to  fill  it  up  taketh  from  the  garment,  and  the 
rent  is  made  worse"  (Matt.  9:16).  The  new 
cloth  shows  the  old,  filthy  rags  of  depravity  to 
disadvantage,  and  when  the  exposure  is  made 
there  naturally  arises  division.  The  people 


SASTCTIFICATION  153 

in  the  apostate  churches  are  spending  their 
lives  in  the  old  bottle  and  rag  business;  they 
have  become  so  accustomed  to  handling  these 
goods  that  it  is  almost  impossible  to  induce 
them  to  deal  with  any  other.  Nevertheless, 
the  new  bottles  and  garments  can  be  had 
when  conditions  are  met  and  the  price  is  paid. 
A  new  garment  is  always  better  than  one  that 
is  patched,  and  a  person  is  very  foolish  to  hold 
onto  the  old  when  he  can  have  the  new. 

A  popular  evangelist  related  an  incident 
of  a  revival  meeting  in  the  South  where  a  holi- 
ness preacher  was  in  charge.  There  was  a 
cry  from  some  of  the  people  that  the  church 
was  in  danger  of  being  split.  The  preacher 
told  them  that  if  this  were  true  that  there  was 
hope,  for  in  that  case  a  part  of  it  would  be 
saved,  but,  that  he  very  much  feared  that  the 
church  was  like  an  old  gum  log  and  could 
not  be  split.  A  noted  author  says,  '  'No  legit- 
imate efforts  to  promote  holiness  tend  to  divi- 
sion among  Christians. ' '  This  is  true ;  sin  alien- 
ates and  divides;  holiness  unites  and  binds  to- 
gether, and  constitutes  the  strongest  bond  of 
union  in  the  church  of  God. 


CHAPTER     XI 


THE     BIBLE     A    NEW     BOOK 

AFTER  receiving  the  blessing  of  sanctifica- 
tion  the  Bible  became  a  new  book  to  me. 
I  found  that  the  Old  Testament  abounds  in 
holiness  typology,  and  as  I  studied  these  types 
under  the  illumination  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  my 
soul  was  thrilled  from  day  to  day.  In  the 
New  Testament  great  gold  mines  of  truth 
opened  to  me.  I  had  riches  untold,  and  as 
my  heart  was  in  ecstasy  over  the  newly-found 
treasures,  I  could  not  help  but  exclaim,  "Ah, 
thou  subtle,  lurking  foe,  thou  arch  fiend  of  the 
pit!  Thou  enemy  of  all  righteousness!  Thou 
didst  cheat  me  out  of  mine  inheritance  and 
didst  keep  me  in  the  mists  and  shadows  of  a 
twilight  experience!" 

When  the  blind  man  received  the  first 
touch  he  saw  men  as  trees  walking.  After 
having  received  the  second  touch  his  vision 
was  clear  and  objects  no  longer  appeared  to 
him  in  undue  proportions.  Bishops,  presiding 
elders,  pastors  and  evangelists,  especially 
those  of  great  learning,  appeared  as  trees  in 
my  sight.  But  Jesus,  the  great  Healer, 
touched  my  spiritual  eyes  the  second  time 


THE  BIBLE   A   NEW   BOOK  155 

and  gave  me  perfect  sight.  I  no  longer  saw 
them  as  trees  walking;  they  were  just  men, 
and  occupied  the  place  of  such  beings  in  my 
estimation.  Some  of  them  appeared  to  be 
very  small  and  insignificant.  I  saw  that  the 
things  that  are  highly  esteemed  among  men 
are  an  abomination  in  God's  sight  All  the 
self-seeking,  money-loving,  conference  wire- 
pulling, that  is  so  characteristic  of  the  popular 
ministers  of  to-day,  savors  of  death,  and  is  of 
the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil.  Satan  is 
the  prince  of  this  world;  he  is  given  the  right 
of  way  at  the  annual  conferences  and  assem- 
blies of  the  old  denominations,  where  preach- 
ers are  weighed  in  the  balances  of  worldly 
honor  and  given  their  appointments.  At 
these  -annual  gatherings  there  are  always 
some  persons  who  are  looked  upon  as  giants; 
they  assume  great  dignity  and  authority,  and 
those  who  have  imperfect  spiritual  vision  look 
upon  them  as  trees  walking.  After  a  person 
has  received  the  baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost 
he  can  see  clearly;  his  vision  is  no  longer  im- 
perfect. He  sees  that  the  conference  giants 
are  weaklings  and  dwarfs.  The  fact  is,  God 
is  not  with  them;  they  are  counterfeits,  ma- 
nipulating ecclesiastical  machinery  for  selfish 
purposes. 

One  of  my  first  impressions   after   receiv- 
ing "the  blessing"  was  to  let  my   light   shine. 


THE   BIBLE   A  NEW  BOOK  157 

I  had  been  so  long  in  the  wilderness  under  in- 
competent leaders  who  failed  to  declare  the 
whole  counsel  of  God,  that  I  felt  now  my 
light  must  be  put  on  a  candlestick,  that  those 
who  were  in  the  shadows  as  I  had  been  might 
be  benefited  thereby.  He  says,  '  'Ye  are  my 
witnesses,"  and  I  knew  that  to  retain  sanctifi- 
cation  I  must  take  a  stand  for  the  truth  and 
give  forth  no  uncertain  sound.  Jesus  said, 
"For  whosoever  shall  be  ashamed  of  me  and 
my  words,  of  him  shall  the  Son  of  man  be 
ashamed  when  he  shall  come  in  his  own  glory, 
and  in  his  Father's,  and  of  the  holy  angels' 
(Luke  9:29).  He  committed  a  treasure  to  my 
care  of  which  He  requires  me  to  be  a  faithful 
steward.  He  sanctified  me  wholly,  beyond 
the  possibility  of  doubt,  and  put  my  feet  on 
the  rock  to  stand.  There  are  not  enough  men, 
demons  nor  creeds  to  shake  me  from  this 
foundation  while  walking  with  an  eye  single  to 
His  glory  and  living  in  obedience  to  His  com- 
mands. 

For  years  I  had  made  the  mistake  of  try- 
ing to  get  sanctified  by  good  works,  but  of 
course  failed.  Now  at  last,  through  simple 
faith  in  the  blood,  my  heart  was  instantly 
cleansed  from  all  spiritual  defilement  and 
flooded  with  light. 

Two  hours  after  having  received  "the 
blessing,"  my  husband  left  to  hold  a  meeting 


158       LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BETJLAH 

in  another  church  on  his  charge.  Before  the 
day  was  gone,  I  was  impressed  to  write  to 
him  and  tell  him  that  there  was  not  a  shadow 
of  doubt  in  my  mind  that  the  Lord  had  sanc- 
tified me  wholly.  As  soon  as  I  had  written 
this  testimony  on  paper,  my  heart  began  to 
overflow  with  joy.  As  there  was  no  meeting 
close  enough  where  I  could  go  and  tell  what 
the  Lord  had  done  for  me,  He  had  me  write 
my  testimony  and  send  it. 

Before  a  week  had  passed  there  seemed 
to  be  a  thousand  demons  clutching  at  my 
pearl,  but  when  the  enemy  came  in  like  a 
flood,  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  lifted  up  a  stand- 
ard against  him  (Isa.  59:19).  I  learned  that 
the  outward  attacks  of  the  enemy  had  nothing 
to  do  with  the  condition  of  the  soul  life  within. 
The  blood  cleansed  from  all  sin  and  Jesus  was 
enthroned  in  my  heart.  I  could  truly  say, 
"The  Lord  God  omnipotent  reigneth. " 

In  the  seventh  chapter  of  second  Kings 
we  have  an  account  of  the  awful  famine  that 
raged  in  Samaria  when  the  Syrians  besieged 
the  city.  Mothers  had  been  brought  to  the 
extremity  of  slaying  and  eating  their  own 
children.  There  were  four  lepers  on  the  out- 
side of  the  walls  of  the  city,  who  said,  '  'Why 
sit  we  here  until  we  die  ?  If  we  say,  We  will 
enter  into  the  city,  then  the  famine  is  in  the 
city,  and  we  shall  die  there:  and  if  we  sit 


THE  BIBLE   A  NEW  BOOK  159 

still  here,  we  shall  die  also.  Now  therefore 
come  and  let  us  fall  unto  the  host  of  the  Syri- 
ans: If  they  save  us  alive,  we  shall  live,  and 
if  they  kill  us,  we  shall  but  die. "  I  was  in  a 
condition  similar  to  these  lepers,  before  I  was 
sanctified,  and  after  receiving  "the  blessing," 
knew,  like  they  did,  that  if  I  did  not  tell  it  to 
the  King's  household  some  mischief  would  be- 
fall me.  They  said,  "We  do  not  well:  this 
day  is  a  day  of  good  tidings,  and  we  hold  our 
peace;  if  we  tarry  till  the  morning  light,  some 
mischief  will  come  upon  us:  now  therefore 
come,  that  we  may  go  and  tell  the  king's 
household." 

They  plundered  the  first  tent,  ate  and 
drank,  and  carried  away  from  thence  silver 
and  gold  and  hid  it,  but  not  until  they  reached 
the  second  tent  did  they  reason  among  them- 
selves and  propose  to  go  and  tell  the  news  to 
the  famishing  multitudes  inside  the  walls  of 
the  city.  I  found  riches  in  the  tent  of  regene- 
ration, but  did  not  get  much  more  than  a  sup- 
ply for  myself  until  I  reached  the  second  tent 
(sanctification).  In  it  I  found  an  abundance 
for  all.  I  knew  then  that  I  must  be  a  faithful 
steward  of  the  same,  or  suffer  consequences 
too  awful  to  be  told. 

God  had  prophets  at  hand  in  the  old 
dispensation  who  would  obey  Him  and  were 
equal  to  any  occasion.  At  this  time  of 


160        LOOKING  BACK  FROM    BEULAH 

Israel's  awful  extremity  and  apostasy  Elisha 
appeared  on  the  scene.  He  said,  'To-mor- 
row, about  this  time  shall  a  measure  of  fine 
flour  be  sold  for  a  shekel,  and  two  measures 
of  barley  for  a  shekel,  in  the  gate  of  Samaria." 
On  the  day  that  Elisha  spoke,  food  could  not 
be  bought  at  any  price,  and  mothers  were 
even  eating  their  own  children.  The  aston- 
ishingly low  price  for  which  the  prophet  said 
food  would  be  sold,  to  doubters  looked  like  an 
impossibility.  A  lord  on  whose  hand  the  king 
leaned,  doubted  the  prophet  of  God,  and 
said,  *  'Behold,  if  the  Lord  would  make  win- 
dows in  heaven,  might  this  thing  be?"  The 
prophet  said,  "Behold,  thou  shalt  see  it  with 
thine  eyes,  but  shalt  not  eat  thereof."  At  the 
stated  time  the  next  day  this  lord,  whom  the 
king  appointed  to  have  charge  of  the  gate, 
was  trodden  upon  and  died.  He  saw,  but  ate 
not  thereof. 

This  dead  man  in  the  gate  is  a  good 
illustration  of  the  preachers  in  the  modern 
churches.  If  people  find  the  bread  of  life 
they  will  have  to  walk  through  the  gates  of 
fallen  ecclesiasticisms  and  over  dead  preachers, 
and  go  without  the  camp  to  get  it.  When 
such  persons  as  this  lord,  having  charge  of  the 
gates  (churches),  fail  to  swing  them  open  and 
let  the  people  get  the  bread  of  life,  their  doom 
is  sealed.  The  modern  pulpits  in  the  land 


THE  BIBLE  A  NEW  BOOK  161 

are  occupied  by  preachers  who  refuse  to 
preach  the  truth  themselves  or  let  others 
preach  it.  The  pastors  and  official  boards  of 
these  churches  would  no  more  let  fire-baptized 
ministers  of  the  Gospel  preach  to  their  con- 
gregations than  the  Pharisees  and  masters  in 
Israel  would  have  allowed  John  the  Baptist  to 
preach  in  their  synagogues  in  his  day.  The  fact 
is,  he  lost  his  head  without  ever  having  entered 
one  of  their  so-called  places  of  worship.  He 
did  not  even  venture  to  go  among  them, 
knowing  of  course,  that  it  was  no  use;  but 
when  they  came  to  his  meetings  on  the  banks 
of  the  Jordan,  he  called  them  a  generation  of 
vipers,  and  said,  "Who  hath  warned  you  to 
flee  from  the  wrath  to  come?"  There  is 
nothing  more  unpopular  in  all  the  world  than 
true  religion;  it  takes  as  much  of  the  martyr 
spirit  to  go  through  now  as  it  did  in  the  days 
of  old. 

Jesus  said,  "Woe  unto  you,  scribes  and 
Pharisees,  hypocrites!  for  ye  shut  up  the 
kingdom  of  heaven  against  men:  for  ye  nei- 
ther go  in  yourselves,  neither  suffer  ye  them 
that  are  entering  to  go  in.  Thou 

blind  Pharisee,  cleanse  first  that  which  is 
within  the  cup  and  platter,  that  the  outside  of 
them  may  be  clean  also."  Jesus  compared  the 
Pharisees  to  '  'whited  sepulchers,  which  indeed 
appear  beautiful  outward,  but  are  within  full 

6 


162   LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEULAH 

of  dead  men's  bones  and  of  all   uncleanness" 
(Matt.  23:13,  26,  27). 

A  person  who  is  sanctified  wholly  has  a 
discerning  spirit  and  will  expose  iniquity  in 
high  places.  Caleb  and  Joshua  commanded 
the  people  to  go  forward  and  possess  the  land 
(Num.  1 4),  but  the  preachers  of  to-day  act  the 
part  of  the  ten  spies  who  feared  and  trembled 
before  the  giants  and  declared  the  land  of 
Canaan  (the  experience  of  sanctification)  could 
not  be  possessed.  There  are  perhaps  more 
doubters  in  hell  than  any  other  class  of  people. 
It  is  a  fearful  thing  to  doubt  the  living  God. 
The  report  of  the  spies  caused  the  Hebrew 
children  to  go  back  into  the  wilderness  where 
they  wandered  for  forty  years,  enduring  awful 
privations  and  sufferings,  and  even  then  they 
were  cut  off  from  seeing  the  land;  only  the 
younger  generation  was  permitted  to  enter  it. 
May  God  have  mercy  upon  those  who  doubt! 
Taking  the  Israelites  as  an  example,  the 
Apostle,  in  Hebrews,  exhorts  Christians  to 
fear  lest  they  should  fail  to  enter  into  their 
inheritance  through  unbelief.  Canaan  not 
only  stands  for  heaven,  but  for  the  sanctified 
life.  "We  which  have  believed  do  enter  into 
rest"  (Heb.  4:3.) 

"I  can  see  far  down  the  mountain, 

Where  I  wandered  weary  years, 
Often  hindered  in  my  journey, 


THE   BIBLE   A  NEW  BOOK  163 

By  the  ghosts  of  doubts  and  fears. 
Broken  vows  and  disappointments 

Thickly  sprinkled  all  the  way, 
But  the  Spirit  led  unerring 

To  the  land  I  hold  to-day. 

CHO — "Is  not  this  the  land  of  Beulah, 
Blessed,  blessed  land  of  light, 
Where  the  flowers  bloom  forever, 
And  the  sun  is  always  bright? 

"I  am  drinking  at  the  fountain, 

Where  I  ever  would  abide; 
For  I've  tasted  life's  pure  river, 

And  my  soul  is  satisfied; 
There's  no  thirsting  for  life's  pleasures, 

Nor  adorning,  rich  and  gay, 

For  I've  found  a  richer  treasure, 
One  that  fadeth  not  away." 

''And  in  this  mountain  shall  the  Lord  of 
hosts  make  unto  all  people  a  feast  of  fat 
things,  a  feast  of  wine  on  the  lees,  of  fat  things 
full  of  marrow,  of  wine  on  the  lees  well  re- 
fined. *  *  And  it  shall  be  said  in  that  day, 
Lo,  this  is  our  God;  we  have  waited  for  him, 
we  will  be  glad  and  rejoice  in  his  salvation" 
(Isaiah  25:6-9.) 

OUT  OF  AND  INTO 

The  following  beautiful  poem  contrasts  the 
Egypt  of  sin  with  the  Canaan  of  a  holy  life : 


164       LOOKING  BACK  FBOM  BEULAH 

"He  brought  us  out  *  *  that  he  might  bring 
us  in"  (Deut.  6:25). 

"Out  of  the  distance  and  darkness  so  deep, 
Out  of  the  settled  and  perilous  sleep, 
Out  of  the  region  and  shadow  of  death, 
Out  of  its  foul  and  pestilent  breath, 
Out  of  the  bondage  and  wearying  chains, 
Out  of  companionship  ever  with  stains — 
Into  the  light  and  glory  of  God, 
Into  the  holiest  made  clean  by  the  blood, 
Into  the  arms,  the  embrace  and  the  kiss, 
Into  the  scene  of  ineffable  bliss, 
Into  the  quiet  of  infinite  calm, 
Into  the  place  of  the  song  and  the  psalm. 
Wonderful  love  that  has  wrought  all  for  me; 
Wonderful  love  that  has  thus  set  me  free, 
Wonderful  ground  upon  which  I  have  come, 
Wonderful  tenderness  welcoming  home. 

"Out  of  the  horror  of  being  alone, 
Out  and  forever  of  being  my  own; 
Out  of  the  hardness  of  heart  and  of  will, 
Out  of  the  longings  which  nothing  could  fill, 
Out  of  the  bitterness,  madness  and  strife, 
Out  of  myself  and  all  I  call  life: — 

Into  communion  with  Father  and  Son, 
Into  the  sharing  of  all  that  Christ  won, 
Into  ecstacies  full  to  the  brim, 
Into  the  having  of  all  things  with  Him, 
Into  Christ  Jesus,  there  ever  to  dwell, 
Into  more  blessings  than  words  e'er  can  tell. 
Wonderful  lowliness  draining  my  cup! 
Wonderful  purpose  that  ne'er  can  give  lip! 
Wonderful  patience  that  waited  so  long, 
Wonderful  story  to  which  I  belong. 


THE   BIBLE   A   NEW   BOOK  165 

"Out  of  my  poverty  into  His  wealth, 

Out  of  my  sickness  into  pure  health, 

Oat  of  the  old  into  the  new, 

Out  of  the  false  into  the  true, 

Out  of  what  measures  the  full  depth  of  'Lost. ? 

Out  of  it  all — but  at  infinite  cost! 

Into  what  must  with  the  cost  correspond, 
Into  that  which  there  is  nothing  beyond, 
Into  the  union  which  nothing  can  part, 
Into  what  fills  every  want  of  the  heart, 
Into  the  deepest  of  joys  ever  had — 
Into  the  gladness  of  making  God  glad. 

Wonderful  Person  whose  face  I  behold ! 

Wonderful  story  then  all  to  be  told! 

Wonderful  all  the  dread  way  that  He  trod, 

Wonderful  end,  He  has  brought  me  to  God!" 

— UNKNOWN. 


BEUUAH 


Thou  shalt  no  more  be  termed  Forsaken;  neither  shalt 
thy  land  any  more  be  termed  Desolate;  but  thou  shalt  be 
called  Hephzibah,  and  thy  land  Beulah:  for  the  Lord  de- 
lighteth  in  thee,  and  thy  land  shall  be  married.  And  as 
the  bridegroom  rejoiceth  over  the  bride,  so  shall  thy  God 
rejoice  over  thee. — Isa.  62:4-5. 

My  beloved  spake,  and  said  unto  me,  Rise  up,  my  love, 
my  fair  one,  and  come  away.  For,  lo!  the  winter  is  past, 
the  rain  is  over  and  gone;  the  flowers  appear  on  the  earth; 
the  time  of  the  singing  of  birds  is  come,  and  the  voice  of 
the  turtle  is  heard  in  our  land.— Cant.  2:10-12. 

Now  I  saw  in  my  dream,  that  the  pilgrims  were  got 
over  the  Enchanted  Ground,  and  entering  in  the  country  of 
Beulah  (Isa.  62:4;  Cant.  2:10-12),  whose  air  was  very 
sweet  and  pleasant;  the  way  lying  directly  through  it,  they 
solaced  themselves  there  for  a  season.  Yea,  here  they 
heard  continually  the  singing  of  birds,  and  saw  every  day 
the  flowers  appear  on  the  earth,  and  heard  the  voice  of  the 
turtle  in  the  land.  In  this  country  the  sun  shineth  night 
and  day;  wherefore  this  was  beyond  the  Valley  of  the 
Shadow  of  Death,  and  also  out  of  the  reach  of  Giant 
Despair;  neither  could  they  from  this  place  so  much  as  see 
Doubting  Castle.  Here  they  were  within  sight  of  the  City 
they  were  going  to;  also  here  met  them  some  of  the  in- 
habitants thereof;  for  in  this  land  the  Shining  Ones  com- 
monly walked,  because  it  was  on  the  borders  of  heaven.  In 
this  land  also  the  contract  between  the  bride  and  the  bride- 
groom was  renewed;  yea,  here,  "as  the  bridegroom  re- 
joiceth over  his  bride  so  did  their  God  rejoice  over  them." 
Here  they  had  no  want  of  corn  and  wine;  for  in  this  place 
they  met  with  abundance  of  what  they  had  sought  for  in 
all  their  pilgrimage.  Here 'they  heard  voices  from  out  of 
the  city,  loud  voices,  saying,  "Say  ye  to  the  daughter  of 
Zion,  "Behold  thy  salvation  cometh!  Behold,  His  reward  is 
with  Him!"  Here  all  the  inhabitants  of  the  country  called 
them  "The  holy  people,  and  redeemed  of  the  Lord,"  "sought 
out,"  etc. — Bunyan's  Pilgrim's  Progress. 


MBS.  K.  W 


1  HAVE  THE  VICTORY. 


MRS.  KENT  Mr  mm. 


ET 


,    f  The  blood  of    Je-sus  cleanseth  me,    I  have  the  vic-to-ry 
\  From  ev-'ry  trace  of    sin' J'm  free,  I  have  the  vie -to- ry  4 

„    1  Tho'    iu  the    fier  -  y   furnace  tried,.  1  have  the  vic-to-ry,  \ 
\  With  Je-sus  now  I'm  cm  -  cj  -  fieU,   I  have  the  vie  -  to  -  ry ;  j 


\  On  wings  o.f  love  my  soul  m-m-  ta  high'r.  I  have  the  vip  -  to  -  ry, ) 
\  I've  found  in  him  my  heart's  desire,  I  (ffrmt.  '  .  .  .  •  '•.  )f 
I  Tri-tunphant  iu  mylieart  I  K\n^t  J  liave  tlie  vie  •  to  -  ry,  \ 
\  My  troph-ies  all  to  him  I  bring,  1  ((/mil  ' )J 


hnvp  the  victory.^     Oh!  halieluj.ifi/smgvitbm  ,  I  ave  the  vie-to  ryT^     The 


-f-jr^r 

bloodof  Jjsusc'eaa;etlia\I  tav^'evic-to-ryT^   Tij  bl 'd.thebl'od, 


have  the  vic-to-ry;   The  bl  od,  tl  e  bio  d,  it  cl«m  eth  ff-e,  I  ha'-e  the  victory. 


3  With  freedom  now  from  inbred  sin, 


I  have  the  victory, 
While  Jesus  reigns  supreme-  within, 

I  have  the  victory; 
Though  unseen  powers  .of  hell  awake, 

I  have  the  victory,' 
No  foes  can  e'er  my  courage  shake, 

1  have  the  victory.  . 


4  He's  taken  all  my  doubts  away, 


T  have  the  victory, 
And  keeps  me  by  his  power  ,each  day. 

I  have  the  victory; 
Tho'  thousands  fall  at  my  right  hand, 

I  have  the  victory, 
I've  found  the  grace  wherein  we  «t»ad, 

J  have  the  victory.  ^ 


CHAPTER  XII 

THE     BIBLE     A    NEW     BOOK      (CONTINUED) 

HpHERE  REMAINETH  a  rest  for  the 
A  people  of  God, "  or,  as  the  margin  says, 
"A  keeping  of  the  Sabbath."  The  R.  V. 
gives  it,  "A  Sabbath  rest."  If  the  Seventh 
Day  Adventists  would  but  rightly  interpret 
the  Sabbath,  they  would  see  its  inner  mean- 
ing with  joy  and  leave  the  Saturday  Sabbath 
alone,  which  they  have  signally  failed  to  es- 
tablish. Have  the}7  not  lost  the  substance 
and  grasped  the  shadow  ?  We  read,  '  'Verily 
my  sabbaths  ye  shall  keep ;  for  it  is  a  sign 
between  me  and  you  throughout  your  genera- 
tions; that  ye  may  know  I  am  the  Lord  that 
doth  sanctify  you.  Ye  shall  keep  the  Sabbath 
therefore;  for  it  is  holy  unto  you.  Everyone 
that  defileth  it  shall  be  put  to  death.  It  is  a 
sign  between  me  and  the  children  of  Israel 
forever"  (Read  Exodus  31:13-17.)  We  em- 
phasize :  ' '  That  ye  may  know  that  I  am  the  Lord 
that  doth  sanctify  you."  This  meaning  is  fully 
carried  forward  into  the  New  Testament. 

Many  are  the  proselytes  of  blind  guides, 
who  unwittingly  put  their  heads  into  the  noose 
and  are  led  like  animals  to  the  slaughter,  un- 

168 


ADDITIONAL  LIGHT  169 

aware  of  what  awaits  them .  Oh  for  the  light  to 
reveal  the  cloven  hoof  of  sin!  The  twilight  of 
the  regenerated  experience  is  not  always  suffi- 
cient. The  noon-day  sun  must  flood  the  soul 
and  give  clear  spiritual  vision. 

When  Alexander,  the  world's  conqueror, 
asked  Diogenes  what  favor  he  might  bestow 
upon  him,  the  humble  philosopher  replied, 
"Get  out  of  my  sunshine."  The  man  of  sin, 
though  subjected  by  grace,  eclipses  our  vision 
of  the  true  Christ.  Paul  says  the  body  of  sin 
must  be  destroyed.  It  is  the  work  of  the 
Holy  Spirit  to  put  him  to  death,  and  this  He 
cannot  do  until  there  is  a  complete  consecra- 
tion on  the  part  of  the  individual,  who  must 
consent  to  his  death,  and  this  is  no  easy  thing 
for  some  people  to  do.  When  the  man  of  sin 
is  crucified,  all  worldly  ambitions  and  aspira- 
tions die  with  him,  and  the  person  in  whose 
heart  he  has  lived,  no  longer  conforms  to  the 
world.  A  pilgrim  and  a  stranger  here,  his  cit- 
izenship is  in  heaven. 

I  knew  nothing  of  what  is  known  as  the 
holiness  movement;  I  had  never  associated 
with  holiness  people.  My  husband  and 
brother  were  both  preaching  in  the  Methodist 
Church  without  the  experience  of  sanctifica- 
tion,  and  of  course  I  had  learned  nothing  of 
the  reproach  that  follows  the  experience  of 
holiness.  I  supposed  that  Methodists  were 


170       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

true  to  the  principles  on  which  their  church 
was  founded,  and  did  not  know  that  bishops 
and  presiding  elders  were  righting  the  doctrine 
of  sanctification.  A  new  world  was  opening 
to  me. 

One  day  while  in  a  doctor's  office  in  Den- 
ver, "The  Way  of  Faith,"  a  holiness  paper, 
was  handed  to  me.  After  looking  it  over  I 
found  it  to  be  entirely  different  from  the 
' '  Christian  Advocate, ' '  a  Methodist  paper  that 
had  been  coming  to  our  home  for  years.  I 
read  and  re-read  the  holiness  paper;  it  was 
food  for  my  soul.  A  few  days  later  another 
publication  of  the  same  character  was  sent  to 
me  from  the  doctor's  office.  I  found  in  it 
liberal  terms  to  subscribers,  and  immediately 
began  to  take  subscriptions  for  it.  Within  a 
few  weeks  it  was  coming  to  at  least  thirty 
homes  on  my  husband's  charge.  Some  money 
was  given  to  me  as  a  Christmas  present  which 
I  used  to  send  the  paper  to  relatives  and 
friends.  There  is  no  better  way  to  preach 
the  Gospel  than  by  spreading  true  holiness 
literature. 

While  doing  all  I  could  to  preach  and 
spread  holiness,  my  soul  was  grieved  at  the 
thought  of  spending  our  lives  in  a  church 
where  the  ministry  and  almost  the  entire 
membership  are  ignorant  of  the  experience  of 
sanctification  and  look  upon  it  as  a  delusion  or 


ADDITIONAL  LIGHT  171 

fanaticism.  The  fact  is,  the  powers  of  the 
ministry  and  laity  have  combined  to  fight  true 
holiness.  It  is  impossible  for  anyone  to  stay 
in  the  old  churches  and  keep  the  experience. 
He  will  be  compelled  to  get  out  or  cease  to 
testify  to  it,  and  no  one  can  keep  sanctified 
who  does  not  let  his  light  shine.  He  must  tell 
what  God  has  done  for  him  or  forfeit  all  that 
he  has  received.  There  are  persons  who 
testify  to  holiness  who  have  not  the  experience. 
Against  such  persons  and  testimonies  there  is 
no  opposition.  They  can  testify  to  holiness 
anywhere  and  there  will  not  be  a  dissenting 
voice.  The  same  is  true  in  the  preaching 
of  holiness;  a  person  may  preach  the  theory 
who  has  not  the  experience,  and  there  will  be 
but  little  opposition  to  it. 

My  husband  and  I  had  willingly  sacrificed 
everything  in  order  to  devote  our  entire  time 
to  the  church  that  we  believed  was  nearest 
right,  and  that  had  been  owned  and  blest  of 
God.  I  earned  nearly  a  thousand  dollars 
teaching  school  the  year  before  we  were  mar- 
ried, and  he  had  good  business  prospects  be- 
fore him,  but  we  gave  up  all  hope  of  worldly 
gain  and  comfort  to  enter  a  life  of  service  for 
the  Lord  in  the  Methodist  Church.  He  was 
born  and  reared  in  one  of  the  great  branches 
of  Methodism  and  I  in  the  other.  I  had  been 
a  member  of  the  M.  E.  Church  South,  but 


172       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

when  I  went  to  Montana  I  had  my  member- 
ship transferred  to  the  M.  E.  Church. 

I  had  labored  faithfully  to  help  educate 
my  brother  Charles,  whom  my  mother  had 
consecrated  to  the  Lord  for  the  ministry  when 
a  child.  When  he  was  not  two  years  of  age,  I 
remember  the  anxious  look  on  her  face  as  she 
tossed  in  pain  on  her  bed  praying  to  God  to 
spare  her  life  to  hear  him  preach  the  Gospel. 
He  was  led  into  the  experience  of  holiness  by 
one  of  the  students  while  attending  school  at 
Millersburg,  Kentucky.  He  kept  the  experi- 
ence for  several  months,  and  then,  like  many 
others,  lost  it  before  he  became  established. 

After  Samson  laid  his  head  in  the  lap  of 
Delilah  he  went  out  and  shook  himself,  but 
did  not  know  that  the  Lord  had  departed 
from  him  (Judges  16-20).  Delilah  represents 
the  fallen  church,  which  everywhere  is  sup- 
porting a  shorn  ministry.  Millions  of  dollars 
are  being  poured  into  her  coffers  to  pay  col- 
ege  professors,  bishops  and  presiding  elders 
to  carry  on  the  business  of  shearing  the 
prophets. 

Many  Christian  young  men  with  bright 
prospects,  entering  some  of  the  church  insti- 
tutions, lose  their  experiences  and  are  shaken 
in  their  orthodoxy  by  coming  under  the  influ- 
ence of  theological  professors.  It  is  almost 
impossible  for  a  young  man  under  present 


SHOKN    SAMSONS  173 

conditions,  to  run  the  gauntlet  in  the  church 
college  or  seminary  and  keep  salvation.  He 
must  submit  to  the  worldliness  in  these  insti- 
tutions or  be  looked  upon  as  peculiar  and 
fanatical. 

Samson,  in  the  glory  of  his  strength,  rent 
a  lion  like  a  kid.  At  another  time  he  caught 
three  hundred  foxes  and  tied  firebrands  be- 
tween their  tails  and  destroyed  the  fields  of 
the  Philistines.  He  knew  no  defeat;  he  was 
a  terror  to  his  enemies.  When  a  person  re- 
ceives the  Holy  Ghost  he  will  spread  the  fire 
throughout  the  country  and  strike  terror  to  the 
hearts  of  the  ungodly. 

He  also  slew  a  thousand  men  with  the 
jaw-bone  of  an  ass.  God  still  furnishes  his 
servants  jaw-bones  enough  to  kill  Philistines 
if  His  orders  are  only  obeyed.  He  has  weap- 
ons of  warfare  always  at  hand  and  is  in  search 
of  people  who  will  handle  them  without  fear. 
The  men  of  Israel  said,  as  a  rebuke  to  Samson, 
"Knowest  thou  not  that  the  Philistines  are 
rulers  over  us?  What  is  this  thou  hast  done 
unto  us?"  These  backslidden  Israelites  are 
examples  of  the  weaklings  in  the  pulpits  to- 
day, who  have  lowered  the  Gospel  standard, 
and  sold  out  to  carnal  rulers  and  powers. 

The  next  we  hear  of  Samson  he  is  down 
at  Gaza;  here  the  lords  of  the  Philistines 
compassed  him  about  and  lay  in  wait  all  night 


174       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

at  the  gate  of  the  city,   intending  to   kill   him 
the    next   morning.       But    God    knew    what 


SAMSON    CARRYING     AWAY    THE    GATES    OF    GAZA 

these  wicked  men  intended  to  do  and  put  it  i« 
the  heart  of  Samson  to  arise  at  midnight;   he 


m 


SHOKN    SAMSONS  175 

did  so  and  took  the  doors  of  the  gate  of  the 
city  and  carried  them  away,  bar  and  all. 

The  lords  of  the  Philistines  were  sorely 
vexed  and  each  of  them  offered  Delilah  noo 
pieces  of  silver  if  she  would  find  out  where 
his  strength  lay,  and  furnished  the  material 
with  which  to  bind  him,  but  the  green  withes 
were  broken  as  tow  when  it  touches  the 
fire.  They  then  bound  him  with  two 
new  cords,  but  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord 
came  mightily  upon  him,  and  they  were 
broken  as  flax  that  is  burned  with  fire. 
After  the  upper- room-believers  received  the 
baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost  and  fire  they 
could  no  longer  be  bound  with  the  bands  of 
Judaism,  neither  will  the  bands  of  dead  eccle- 
siasticisms  hold  a  man  who  is  filJed  with  the 
Spirit.  He  must  have  liberty  and  will  take 
it  at  any  cost. 

The  seven  locks  of  Samson's  head  were 
woven  into  a  web  and  fastened  to  the  beam 
with  a  pin,  but  he  awakened  out  of  his  sleep 
and  walked  away  with  the  beam.  Had  he 
kept  his  head  out  of  the  lap  of  Delilah  he 
would  have  retained  his  locks  and  escaped 
the  hands  of  the  Philistines.  If  the  preachers 
only  knew  enough  to  keep  their  heads  out  of 
the  old  church  halters,  great  victories  would 
be  achieved;  whereas  they  become  mere  pul- 
piteers and  figure-heads,  unable  to  help  any- 


176        LOOKING  BACK  FBOM   BETJLAH 

one  else  or  to  escape  the  wrath  of  God  them- 
selves. Those  who,  like  Samson,  once  had 
power,  have  lost  their  eyes  and  now  go  round, 
like  a  blind  horse  in  the  beaten  path  of  a  mill; 


SAMSON    GRINDING    IN    THB    MILLS    OF    THE    PHILISTINES 

they  never  get  anywhere.  Samson  was 
hitched  into  the  Philistine  mills  and  made  to 
grind  for  them.  In  the  meantime  his  enemies 
were  sacrificing  to  Dagon,  their  god,  ^because 
he  had  been  delivered  into  their  hands,  and 


SHOEN  SAMSONS  177 

the  same  conditions  are  apparent  to-day;  the 
devil  is  having  a  jubilee  over  his  victories. 
He  has  captured  the  preachers  and  put  out 
their  spiritual  eyes,  and  they  are  now  grinding 
in  his  mills. 

My  father  was  a  tanner,  and  used  a  blind 
horse  in  the  bark  mill.  Horses  that  had  eyes 
would  not  always  work  in  the  mill ;  that  kind 
of  work  was  too  monotonous  for  them.  And 
so  it  is  with  the  preachers  who  have  lost  their 
spiritual  eye-sight;  if  they  could  see  the  old 
beaten  paths  over  which  they  travel,  they 
would  throw  up  their  hands  and  cry  for  mercy. 
An  animal  that  was  used  in  our  mill  had  once 
been  a  race  horse;  she  worked  well  in  the 
mill  after  she  lost  her  sight,  but  when  she 
was  turned  out  into  the  pasture,  instead  of 
grazing,  we  would  find  her  going  around  in  a 
path  the  same  circumference  as  that  in  which 
she  traveled  when  she  was  in  the  mill.  She 
would  keep  this  up  for  hours  if  the  spell  was 
not  broken.  I  often  pitied  her  and  drove  her 
away. 

The  experience  of  sanctification  will  start  a 
person  on  a  straight  track  for  glory ;  there  will 
be  no  more  circuitous  routes  or  beaten  paths. 
Nothing  less  than  the  baptism  of  the  Holy 
Ghost  and  fire  will  break  up  the  old  forms  and 
ruts  in  the  modern  church.  Poor  old  blind 
Samson,  once  the  terror  of  the  heathen  nations 


178       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

and  backslidden  Israel,  was  a  pitiful  sight, 
bound  with  fetters  of  brass,  grinding  in  the 
prison-house  of  the  Philistines,  after  having 
been  a  mighty  victor,  single-handed,  over 
their  armies.  As  we  see  him  in  his  humilia- 
tion at  the  mill,  we  think  of  the  triumphant 
spirit  in  which  he  walked  away  with  the  gates 
of  the  city,  to  the  top  of  the  mountain,  carry- 
ing post,  bar  and  all. 

The  lords  of  the  Philistines  gathered 
themselves  together  to  sacrifice  to  Dagon, 
their  god,  for  they  said,  '  'Our  god  hath  deliv- 
ered Samson,  our  enemy,  into  our  hand." 
No  wonder  they  had  a  jubilee,  since  they  had 
in  their  power  the  destroyer  of  their  country 
who  had  multiplied  their  slain.  When  their 
hearts  were  merry  they  called  for  Samson  out 
of  the  prison-house  that  he  might  make  them 
sport.  The  shorn  prophets  are  the  laughing- 
stock of  demons.  There  is  a  jubilee  in  hell 
over  one  who  has  had  great  strength,  but 
who,  alas,  is  fallen  into  the  hands  of  the 
shearers.  If  these  poor  victims  would  awaken 
to  the  fact  that  their  strength  is  gone,  and  let 
their  locks  grow  again,  (get  reclaimed)  they 
could  accomplish  something.  Samson  accom- 
plished more  by  his  death  than  by  his  life. 
The  popular  preachers  are  a  long  way  from 
the  experience  of  sanctification,  of  which  Sam- 
son's death  is  a  type.  The  fact  is  the  preach- 


SHOBN    SAMSONS  179 

ers  do  not  stay  converted  long  enough  to  feel 
the  need  of  a  second  work  of  grace.  If  they 
were  to  receive  the  baptism  of  the  Holy  Ghost 
and  fire  they  would  break  their  ecclesiastical 
fetters  and  go  to  work  for  God  where  they 
would  not  be  under  the  dictation  of  carnal 
rulers.  They  would  then  be  terrors  to  the 
workers  of  iniquity.  Jesus  said  to  His  dis- 
ciples, when  He  sent  them  forth,  "He  that 
findeth  his  life  shall  lose  it,  and  he  that  loseth 
his  life  for  my  sake  shall  find  it."  In  order  to 
live  we  must  die  to  sin,  "For  he  that  is  dead 
is  free  from  sin."  "But  now  being  made  free 
from  sin,  and  become  servants  to  God,  ye 
have  your  fruit  unto  holiness  and  the  end 
everlasting  life"  (Rom.  6:7,  22).  It  is  one 
thing  to  be  a  servant  of  human  organizations, 
and  another  to  be  the  servant  of  God.  In  the 
modern  churches  men  have  taken  the  reins 
out  of  God's  hands  and  are  driving  them- 
selves. King  Saul  was  foolish  enough  to  do 
this.  Sorrow  and  calamity  attended  his  unwise 
and  selfish  course  which  at  last  ended  in  self- 
destruction.  No  minister  can  be  true  to  God 
and  remain  in  the  old  denominations  of  to-day. 
If  he  should  try  to  keep  salvation  he  would 
lose  favor  with  the  church  officials  and  con- 
sequently have  to  suffer.  These  human  struc- 
tures have  no  real  foundation  under  them. 
The  only  hope  of  any  one's  getting  to  heaven 


180       LOOKING  BACK  FROM  BEULAH 

is  to  build  on  the  Rock  against  which  Christ 
said  the  gates  of  hell  cannot  prevail.  While 
he  is  building  there  will  be  scoffs  and  jeers 
from  the  spectators,  but  he  need  not  mind 
this;  when  the  structure  is  completed  the 
storms  of  this  world  will  not  be  able  to  over- 
throw it. 


CHAPTER    XIII 


HEALING     FOR    THE     BODY  —  REVIVAL      FIRES      ON 
THE     ERIE     CHARGE 


the  Lord  sanctified  me,  I  had 
been  almost  an  invalid  for  three  years 
and  a  half.  Three  weeks  after  having  re- 
ceived perfect  soul  health  I  had  faith  for  the 
healing  of  my  body.  The  treatments  received 
from  the  best  physicians  with  their  many  and 
varied  prescriptions  of  medicine,  change  of 
climate  and  scenery,  and  the  study  of  music, 
painting,  etc.,  were  carried  out  with  but  little 
profit.  I  believed  it  was  God's  will  to  heal 
me,  and  I  promised  to  use  all  my  strength  in 
His  service.  I  had  no  instructor  —  I  took  heal- 
ing by  faith  as  I  had  sanctification,  but  felt  no 
immediate  change  in  body.  I  was  conscious, 
however  that  God  had  undertaken  for  me. 
Several  days  of  severe  testings  followed,  during 
which  time  I  stood  on  the  promises  and  re- 
sisted the  devil.  The  Lord  rewarded  my 
faith  by  giving  me  the  desire  of  my  heart. 
Every  one  who  knew  me  could  see  that  a 
great  change  had  taken  place.  To  God  be  all 
the  glory  !  Many  times  since  I  have  had  my 
faith  severely  tested,  but  in  every  instance 

181 


182      LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

He  has  enabled  me  to  triumph.  "Many  are 
the  afflictions  of  the  righteous,  but  the  Lord 
delivereth  him  out  of  them  all"  (Psa.  34:19.) 
Following  this,  in  1898,  I  took  a  heavy  cold 
in  a  tent  meeting  at  Leadville,  Colorado. 
For  three  months  I  suffered  with  severe  pains 
in  my  chest,  coughing  almost  continually. 
While  holding  Gospel  meetings  at  Cripple 
Creek,  I  stepped  into  the  office  of  a  phy- 
sician with  a  sister  who  was  taking  treatment 
for  her  throat.  Before  leaving,  at  her  request, 
the  doctor  examined  my  lungs  and  told  me  I 
had  all  the  symptoms  of  quick  consumption. 
In  our  missionary  work  I  nearly  always  led 
the  open-air  meetings.  I  was  advised  not  to 
speak  any  more  in  the  open  air.  The  physi- 
cian handed  me  a  prescription  calling  for  cod- 
liver  oil,  and  urged  me  to  have  it  filled  imme- 
diately, but  I  had  no  intention  of  doing  so. 

On  returning  home  I  found  the  mission 
work  had  suffered  in  my  absence.  I  went  to 
our  hall  the  following  Sunday  night,  feeling 
oppressed  in  both  soul  and  body.  My  mother 
came  in  a  few  minutes  before  time  for  the 
meeting  to  begin.  She  looked  at  me  and  said, 
"You  might  just  as  well  close  this  work  up 
now,  for  you  will  have  to  do  it  sooner  or  later. " 
I  thought  that  she  meant  it  would  have  to 
close  on  account  of  my  health,  but  asked  her 
no  questions.  At  that  moment  about  fifteen 


HEALING  FOE  THE   BODY  183 

men  came  into  the  hall  and  looked  up  at  me 
with  sad  and  pitiful  expressions  on  their  faces 
—some  were  the  pictures  of  despair.  I  had 
never  had  a  greater  desire  to  live  than  at  that 
moment — not  for  myself,  but  that  I  might 
preach  the  Gospel  to  just  such  persons  as 
were  before  me.  I  knelt  down  and  began  to 
pray  aloud.  I  do  not  know  what  I  asked  for, 
but  I  do  know  the  Spirit  of  God  had  posses- 
sion of  me  and  I  prayed  until  I  was  completely 
exhausted.  A  quickening  came  into  my  body, 
and  I  arose  to  my  feet  and  said,  '  'Mother, 
He  has  touched  me,"  and  without  further 
preliminaries  in  the  service,  I  began  to  preach 
under  a  mighty  anointing  of  the  Spirit.  I 
knew  that  I  had  entered  upon  a  new  epoch 
in  my  life,  and  that  the  mission  would  not 
close,  and  that  others  would  open  up  in  new 
fields.  The  pain  left  my  chest  and  the 
coughing  ceased.  This  was  Dec.  4th,  1 898. 
In  August  1901  I  had  consumption  of  the 
bowels.  A  physician  was  consulted.  I  told 
him  my  case  was  in  the  hands  of  the  Lord; 
that  I  did  not  want  treatment;  I  only  wanted 
to  know  the  nature  of  my  trouble.  He  said 
he  was  not  a  Christian,  but  gave  an  instance, 
when  he  was  in  distress,  of  a  remarkable  an- 
swer to  prayer.  He  told  me  that  even  if  I 
desired  treatment  he  could  do  nothing  for  me, 
and  that  as  I  believed  in  prayer  I  would  bet- 


184       LOOKING  BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

ter  look  to  God .  I  was  face  to  face  with  the 
grave,  and  fully  realized  that  my  help  must 
come  from  above.  Before  seeing  the  physi- 
cian, through  hours  of  severe  testings,  my 
case  was  so  fully  in  the  hands  of  the  Lord 
that  I  was  not  at  all  anxious  as  to  the  out- 
come, and  I  rejoiced  in  the  fact  that  I  was 
His  for  life  or  death.  The  Lord  had  raised 
me  up  before,  and  I  was  sure  that  He  would 
do  so  again  if  my  work  was  not  done.  At 
this  time  my  husband  was  away  from  home  in 
a  revival  meeting.  I  suffered  much  pain  for 
several  days  and  fainted  and  fell  in  the  night, 
wedging  myself  in  behind  a  bath  tub  where  I 
might  have  perished  had  not  a  sister  heard 
my  groans  and  come  to  my  assistance.  The 
crisis  came  later,  when  after  a  few  hours  of 
suffering,  Jesus,  the  Great  Physician,  came  to 
my  relief,  and  healed  me  instantly.  To  Him 
be  all  the  glory !  For  years  I  have  taken  no 
medicine,  and  my  faith  and  trust  have  been 
in  Jesus  alone  as  my  physician. 

In  June,-  1893,  the  Methodist  conference 
sent  us  to  a  charge  at  Erie,  Colorado.  We 
were  delayed  in  moving  nearly  three  weeks 
because  the  former  pastor  remained  to  hold 
a  church  supper  to  raise  some  of  his  unpaid 
salary.  The  house  he  lived  in  was  not  a 
parsonage,  but  it  was  the  only  one  in  the  town 
available  for  that  purpose.  On  our  arrival  we 


LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH  185 

found  his  family  still  occupying  the  house,  but 
ready  to  move  out  the  next  day.  The  preach- 
er's wife  said  she  felt  it  her  duty  to  enlighten 
us  in  regard  to  some  things  about  the  affairs 
of  the  church.  She  told  us  of  a  certain  local 
Methodist  preacher  in  that  place  who  called 
himself  the  <(daddyof  the  town.-"  He  was 
the  leading  member  of  the  official  board,  pop- 
ular as  a  town  politician  and  the  organizer  of 
all  the  lodges  in  the  place  and  many  through- 
out the  state.  She  said  he  would  expect  to 
be  allowed  the  privilege  of  holding  the  funeral 
services  and  performing  all  the  marriage  cere- 
monies. She  advised  us  to  let  him  have  his 
way  in  order  to  avoid  trouble,  however  un- 
reasonable his  demands  might  be. 

Our  baby  was  just  recovering  from  the 
whooping  cough  and  we  were  feeding  him  on 
prepared  foods.  The  change  of  water  did  not 
agree  with  him,  and  in  a  week  after  our  ar- 
rival he  was  at  death's  door.  On  July  igih 
he  rallied  sufficiently  to  be  taken  to  Glen 
Park,  a  summer  resort  in  the  mountains. 
After  we  had  been  there  a  week  we  again  de- 
spaired of  his  life.  The  physician  left  us  one 
night  about  half  past  two  o'clock  without  any 
hope  of  the  child's  recovery.  No  one  but 
God  knew  our  hearts  as  we  watched  him 
slowly  sinking  in  the  embrace  of  death.  He 
had  been  so  miraculously  raised  up  before,  I 


186      LOOKING    BACK    PEOM    BEULAH 

could  not  help  but  feel  that  he  would  be 
spared  now. 

I  believed  the  Lord  was  trying  to  show 
me  something  and  asked  Him  to  let  me  learn 
quickly  any  lesson  He  had  for  me.  The  tur- 
moil in  my  soul  was  hushed  by  the  voice  of 
the  Spirit  saying,  "Will  you  preach  the  Gos- 
pel if  his  life  is  spared?"  I  said,  "Yes,  Lord." 
I  felt  sure  He  would  not  require  me  to  be 
away  from  my  children  unless  I  felt  satisfied 
that  they  would  have  the  proper  care  in  my 
absence.  Something  definite  was  settled  be- 
tween my  soul  and  God,  and  the  baby  began 
to  improve  at  once.  The  next  morning  he 
was  much  better,  to  the  surprise  of  those  who 
knew  what  his  condition  was  the  night  before. 

Following  this  experience  the  messages 
of  salvation  for  the  people  began  to  burn  in 
my  soul.  I  longed  to  deliver  them,  but  as 
yet  there  was  no  opportunity.  My  husband 
had  to  return  to  his  charge,  and  for  nearly 
four  weeks  I  was  left  alone  with  the  two  chil- 
dren. Under  no  consideration  would  I  have 
stayed  alone  and  taken  the  responsibility  of 
caring  for  a  child  so  sick  before  the  Lord  sanc- 
tified my  soul.  There  were  several  critical 
times  passed  and  some  severe  tests  before 
I  returned  home  with  the  children,  but  through 
them  all  I  had  complete  victory,  and  my  soul 
was  kept  in  perfect  rest. 


EEIE   CHAEGE  187 

At  my  first  prayer  meeting  after  return- 
ng  home,  the  local  preacher  before  mentioned 
was  present  and  took  a  prominent  part. 
When  the  opportunity  was  given  for  testimony 
I  could  think  of  nothing  to  say,  but  to  repeat 
Luke  6:26:  "Woe  unto  you,  when  all  men 
shall  speak  well  of  you !  for  so  did  their  fathers 
to  the  false  prophets. "  I  had  no  thought  of 
the  preacher  when  I  quoted  this  passage,  but 
it  was  an  arrow  directed  by  the  Holy  Spirit, 
and  he  took  it  all  to  himself.  The  Lord  kept 
His  hand  upon  me,  and  every  service  I  at- 
tended, without  wishing  to  antagonize  him,  I 
always  did  so,  and  it  seemed  it  could  not  be 
avoided.  The  situation  became  more  and 
more  serious,  until  he  openly  rebelled. 

The  services  of  a  South  Carolina  evangel- 
ist and  his  singer  were  secured  to  hold  special 
meetings  for  us.  These  evangelists  actually 
had  salvation  and  preached  and  sang  in  the 
Spirit,  and  the  church  and  town  were  stirred 
as  they  never  had  been  before  in  their  history. 
They  preached  sanctfication  and  called  peo- 
ple to  the  altar  to  seek  the  experience.  I  had 
heard  of  the  success  of  these  brethren  before 
their  arrival,  and  was  anticipating  a  spiritual 
feast  myself,  but  two  days  after  they  came, 
our  baby,  Ray,  took  another  relapse  and  was 
given  up  by  the  physicians,  who  left  the 
house  and  reported  him  to  be  dying.  My 


188       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

husband  went  out  to  the  barn  to  pour  out  his 
soul  to  God,  and  I  was  left  alone  by  his  side. 
I  knew  the  Lord  wanted  to  talk  to  me,  and 
I  cried,  "Speak,  for  thy  servant  heareth." 
Then  came  the  words  clear  and  unmistakable: 
"If  his  life  is  spared  will  you  go  and  preach 
the  Gospel?"  It  was  the  same  question  that 
was  asked  me  two  months  before  in  the  moun- 
tains when  the  physicians  gave  the  baby  up  to 
die;  but  after  his  recovery  I  doubted  whether 
the  question  was  from  the  Lord  or  not.  I 
said,  surely  He  did  not  give  me  these  chil- 
dren to  leave  in  the  care  of  others."  I  was 
willing  to  do  all  that  I  could  in  the  services  at 
home,  but  was  not  sure  that  it  was  the  Lord 
asking  me  to  go  where  it  would  take  me  from 
the  children.  The  second  test  was  sufficient 
to  remove  all  doubt,  and  I  said,  "Yes,"  once 
more  to  God.  At  this  moment  my  husband 
came  in,  and  for  the  first  time  during  all  the 
baby's  illness  he  appeared  to  be  resigned  to 
his  death.  It  was  Sunday  morning,  and  the 
evangelist  told  the  people  that  in  all  probabil- 
ity the  child  would  not  be  living  at  the  close 
of  the  service.  Many  persons  came  to  the 
house  during  the  afternoon  and  were  surprised 
to  find  the  baby  still  alive  and  gradually  gain- 
ing strength. 

A  few  weeks  later   special   services   were 
begun  at  Pleasant  View,  a  country  church   on 


PLEASANT  YIEW  MEETING  189 

my  husband's  charge,  five  miles  from  town. 
The  baby  was  still  very  delicate  and  re- 
quired constant  care.  I  was  seeking  every 
opportunity  to  study  God's  word,  which  was 
opening  to  me  with  more  wonderful  light.  I 
found  the  doctrine  of  holiness  everywhere  on 
its  pages,  and  longed  to  preach  it  to  the 
people.  I  believed  it  was  God's  will  for  me 
to  help  in  the  meetings  just  started,  but  did 
not  know  how  to  leave  the  child.  One  day  it 
occurred  to  me  that  he  could  be  left  with  my 
niece,  if  he  would  only  sleep  while  we  were 
away.  That  evening  he  went  to  sleep  at  half 
past  six  o'clock  and  did  not  awaken  until 
eleven.  The  next  evening  he  again  went  to 
sleep  at  the  same  hour,  and  I  saw  that  God's 
hand  was  in  it  and  ventured  to  go.  For  four 
weeks  he  slept  through  the  hours  of  our  ab- 
sence. My  husband  preached  the  first  few 
evenings,  but  there  were  no  seekers.  The 
burden  of  my  heart  was  to  see  believers  sanc- 
tified. After  he  had  preached  rather  length- 
ily one  night,  I  was  unable  to  sit  still  longer, 
and  asked  the  privilege  of  speaking  a  few 
minutes.  The  power  of  God  fell  and  eighteen 
persons  came  forward  to  the  altar;  thirteen 
came  to  seek  holiness  and  five  came  for 
pardon.  God's  power  was  wonderfully  mani- 
fested in  the  deliverance  of  souls  from  their 
bondage.  After  the  service,  my  husband, 


190       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BEULA.H 

the  pastor  of  the  church,  was  very  much 
depressed.  He  said  he  was  afraid  the  scrip- 
ture I  had  used  was  wrongfully  applied. 
This  was  an  unexpected  trial  to  me.  A  young 
Salvation  Army  brother  who  was  riding  with 
us,  to  my  surprise  agreed  with  him.  This 
made  it  much  harder  for  me,  as  I  had  confi- 
dence in  this  brother's  experience.  He 
claimed  to  be  sanctified  and  I  thought  he  was. 
It  all  worked  out  for  my  good  in  the  end,  as  I 
learned  not  to  look  to  man  for  approval  after 
the  Holy  Spirit  had  given  me  the  message. 
Having  been  in  the  experience  only  a  short 
time,  I  had  yet  to  learn  that  at  times  of  this 
kind,  silence  was  my  greatest  weapon,  and 
that  the  Spirit  was  being  grieved  by  my  try- 
ing to  defend  myself  and  the  Word. 

Arriving  at  the  church  the  next  evening, 
I  was  met  by  a  holiness  professor  who  was 
waiting  to  give  me  some  advice.  He  had 
been  visiting  during  the  day  and  found  nearly 
the  whole  neighborhood  stirred  over  the  serv- 
ices of  the  night  before.  Like  all  other  hypo- 
critical professors  he  said  he  believed  in  holi- 
ness and  had  the  experience,  but  he  was  in 
doubts  as  to  its  being  the  proper  time  to 
preach  it  in  that  neighborhood.  The  words 
had  no  sooner  fallen  from  his  lips  than  I  de- 
tected the  cloven  hoof  of  the  devil.  He  had 
come  as  an  angel  of  light  to  defeat  the  preach- 


PLEASANT  VIEW  MEETINGS  .         191 

ing  of  a  full  Gospel.  I  saw  it  clearly,  and  it 
only  made  me  more  determined  to  declare  the 
whole  counsel  of  God,  regardless  of  conse- 
quences. 

The  revival  swept  on  with  power.  A  man 
converted  on  a  Saturday  evening  shouted  un- 
til he  was  so  hoarse  he  could  not  speak  above 
a  whisper  on  the  following  Tuesday.  His 
whole  family  were  brought  to  Christ,  follow- 
ing his  conversion.  This  man's  father  had 
been  converted  under  Peter  Cartwright's 
preaching.  We  notice  that  people  who  have 
good  religious  ancestry  back  of  them  usually 
make  good  shouters  and  prayers. 

Conviction  was  so  great  that  it  was  al- 
most impossible  to  get  the  people  to  leave  the 
church  at  night  after  the  service  closed.  The 
news  of  the  revival  spread  all  over  the  state, 
and  people  who  were  not  able  to  attend  the 
meetings  were  convicted  and  converted  in  their 
homes.  Restitutions  were  made  and  family 
altars  established,  and  for  several  years  this 
community  was  the  center  of  the  holiness 
movement  in  Colorado. 

The  following  testimony  was  given  by  a 
brother  who  was  sanctified  in  this  meeting: 

"When  twenty  years  old  I  joined  the 
church  at  Marshall,  Wisconsin,  and  without 
any  change  of  heart  the  preacher  told  me  I 
was  all  right.  Soon  after  I  moved  to  Kansas. 


192       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

Wishing  to  unite  with  God's  people  there,  I 
received  a  very  flattering  letter  from  my  for- 
mer pastor. 

"Subsequently  I  moved  to  Colorado,  and 
finding  no  church  near  enough  with  which  to 
unite,  I  carried  my  letter  in  my  pocket  and 
trunk  until  it  was  worn  out.  I  married  after 
coming  West,  and  my  wife  and  others  sup- 
posed I  was  a  backslider.  A  revival  meeting 
was  held  a  number  of  years  ago  at  this  place, 
at  which  my  wife  was  converted.  One  day 
on  returning  home  she  came  out  and  embraced 
me,  telling  me  it  had  been  the  happiest  day 
of  her  life.  This  so  convicted  me  that  I 
awakened  to  the  fact  that  I  had  never  been 
converted  myself,  although  I  had  been  a  re- 
spectable church  member  for  sixteen  years. 
I  believe  now  that  one  can  be  a  member  in 
good  standing  of  any  denomination,  meet  the 
obligations  placed  on  him,  and  go  straight  to 
hell.  I  had  willingly  carried  the  financial  bur- 
dens of  the  church,  and  often  prayed  and  tes- 
tified in  class  meeting,  the  substance  of  my 
remarks  being  that  I  did  not  have  as  much  of 
the  love  of  God  in  my  heart  as  I  wanted,  but 
I  hoped  'to  meet  them  all  in  heaven.' 

"A  few  days  after  my  wife's  conversion 
I,  too,  received  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  to 
the  pardon  of  my  sins.  I  lived  in  an  up  and 
down  experience  for  several  years,  oftentimes 


PLEASANT  VIEW  MEETING  193 

feeling  under  condemnation  and  then  repent- 
ing and  praying  until  peace  was  restored.  I 
knew  there  was  something  lacking,  but  did 
not  understand  the  second  work  of  grace,  and 
therefore  remained  in  the  twilight  experience. 
The  meetings  held  by  Brother  and  Sister 
White  at  Pleasant  View  found  me  in  an  un- 
settled condition,  praying  for  a  better  experi- 
ence. Night  after  night  I  went  to  the  altar, 
not  for  pardon,  but  to  be  sanctified.  As  the 
Holy  Spirit  revealed  inherited  depravity  I 
sickened  at  the  sight  of  my  own  heart.  On 
the  eighth  night  I  had  the  hardest  struggle  of 
my  life.  When  the  altar  call  was  made  the 
people  were  singing,  "Standing  on  the  prom- 
ises of  God. "  The  enemy  said,  "Are  you 
going  to  make  a  fool  of  yourself  by  going  up 
there  again?"  At  that  moment  the  burden 
rolled  away  and  wave  after  wave  of  glory 
deluged  my  soul.  It  was  not  long  until  my 
friends  miles  away  heard  of  the  wonderful 
change  that  had  come  over  me.  Some  of 
them  had  thought  I  had  all  the  salvation  there 
was  for  any  one."  R.  c. 

This  brother's  face  glowed  as  his  heart 
burst  forth  from  day  to  day  in  holy  laughter. 
At  times  it  seemed  that  the  earthen  vessel 
would  break  if  the  hand  of  God  was  not  stayed. 

I  had  been  sustained  for  weeks  by  super- 
natural strength,  attending  to  our  sick  baby 

7 


194       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

and  household  duties  and  driving  with  my  hus- 
band five  miles  to  the  church  and  back  at  night, 
often  continuing  the  services  until  ten  and 
eleven  o'clock.  The  latter  part  of  the  night's 
rest  was  continually  broken  by  the  care  of  the 
baby,  but  almost  invariably  the  Holy  Spirit 
would  awaken  me  at  five  o'clock  with  a  burden 
for  souls.  I  would  then  pray  until  six,  or 
until  I  received  the  evidence  of  victory  for 
the  next  service.  I  suffered  from  the  contin- 
ual exposure  of  being  out  at  night,  and 
when  the  revival  closed  I  had  a  severe  cold  on 
my  lungs.  I  had  no  pain,  but  was  greatly  in 
need  of  rest  and  yielded  to  the  doctor's 
advice  to  go  to  bed;  I  stayed  there  for  ten 
days.  During  the  time  the  Lord  was  wonder- 
fully precious  to  my  soul.  The  baby  improved 
rapidly  in  the  care  of  a  young  woman  who 
had  been  converted  in  our  meetings. 

During  the  ten  days  I  had  a  vision  of 
hell.  It  was  terrible  beyond  words  to  express. 
1  could  see  miles  and  miles  into  its  awful 
depths.  It  was  like  a  pit  without  a  bottom, 
with  a  narrow  passage-way  through  which 
demons  were  pressing  their  way  out  and  in. 
Those  just  entering  had  victims  in  their  em- 
brace screaming  with  terror.  I  saw  a  black 
imp  with  my  mother;  another  fierce  demon 
was  carrying  my  eldest  brother,  who  was 
then  in  Montana,  unsaved.  Weeks  previous 


ACHAN   IN  THE   CAMP  195 

to  this  I  had  been  concerned  about  my  moth- 
er's spiritual  condition  and  had  written  letters 
to  her  trying  to  arouse  her  from  her  stupor. 
These  letters  were  used  of  God  for  their  in- 
tended purpose,  and  before  many  months  the 
Lord  brought  her  to  Colorado,  where  she  was 
reclaimed  in  our  first  holiness  camp  meeting. 
Three  months  later,  the  brother  in  Montana, 
for  whom  I  had  been  so  greatly  burdened, 
was  converted. 

On  a  Saturday  morning,  while  reading 
the  story  of  Achan  and  the  stolen  wedge  and 
Babylonish  garment,  a  great  burden  came 
upon  me  for  the  Sunday  services  at  the  Erie 
church.  I  saw  Achan,  who  caused  the  defeat 
of  Israel's  army,  as  a  type  of  the  "old  man  of 
sin."  The  Lord  burned  a  message  into  my 
soul  and  prepared  the  way  for  me  to  deliver 
it.  I  thought  of  no  particular  person  in  the 
church  as  the  Achan  in  the  camp,  but  knew  I 
would  have  to  preach  on  the  subject  and  show 
people  that  they  must  get  rid  of  the  man  of 
sin  in  their  hearts  or  lose  their  souls,  and  that 
as  a  church  we  could  have  no  victory  until  car- 
nality was  destroyed.  I  said  nothing  to  my 
husband  about  my  leadings  until  after  he 
called  me  to  his  study  to  tell  me  that  he  had 
no  message  tor  the  Sunday  morning  congrega- 
tion. I  told  him  I  knew  why,  and  he  under- 
stood .  On  the  way  to  the  church  my  body 


196       LOOKING   BACK   FEOM   BETJLAH 

trembled  under  the  pressure  of  the  Spirit.  I 
knew  that  something  out  of  the  ordinary 
would  happen  before  that  meeting  closed; 
that  there  was  Gospel  dynamite  on  hands  and 
it  would  explode.  My  husband  asked 
me  to  tell  him  the  subject  1  had  in  mind, 
but  the  Lord  made  me  withhold  it  from  him, 
as  he  would  have  thought  of  the  local 
preacher,  and  the  results  that  might  follow, 
and  no  doubt  would  have  hindered  me  in  de- 
livering the  message. 

As  I  stepped  out  on  the  floor  to  speak,  my 
knees  fairly  smote  together,  so  great  was  the 
power  of  the  Spirit  upon  me.  The  battle  was 
ordered  of  the  Lord,  and  for  about  thirty  min- 
utes shot  and  shell  fell  thick  and  fast  in  the 
ranks  of  carnal  professors.  Some  were  weep- 
ing; on  the  countenances  of  others  there  were 
clouds  of  wrath.  Especially  did  the  local 
preacher  show  his  disapproval  of  the  message. 
He  arose  and  began  to  justify  himself,  and 
antagonized  me  and  also  my  husband  who 
had  followed  me  with  an  exhortation.  The 
message  was  for  him  and  he  knew  it.  After 
making  his  defense  he  sat  down.  He  no 
doubt  thought  one  or  the  other  of  us  would 
make  a  reply,  but  instead  of  doing  so  we 
called  the  people  to  the  altar  for  prayer,  and  a 
number  responded,  among  them  a  miner  who 
had  been  under  conviction  for  several  "days. 


ACHAN  IN   THE   CAMP  197 

The  Lord  picked  out  this  man  to  administer 
a  rebuke  to  the  local  preacher.  As  he  came  to 
the  front  he  stopped  at  the  head  of  the  aisle 
where  the  preacher  sat  in  a  chair  facing  the 
congregation.  He  put  his  hand  on  his  shoulder, 
and  gently  pushing  him  back,  said,  with  tears 
and  trembling:  "Man,  do  you  know  what 
you  are  doing  ?  You  are  fighting  against  God. 
He  is  with  these  people.  I  am  a  sinner." 
Then  in  a  few  words  he  gave  this  man  an 
epitome  of  his  life  in  the  town,  and  in  it  said: 
'  Instead  of  helping  people  to  Christ  you  have 
blackened  their  lives,"  making  mention  espe- 
cially of  a  young  man  then  lying  in  a  graveyard 
on  the  hill.  '  'You  have  been  given  to  story- 
telling too  low  for  houses  of  shame."  It  is  a 
fearful  thing  to  fall  into  the  hands  of  the 
living  God.  His  rebukes  are  sometimes  ter- 
rible, making  man's  beauty  to  consume  away. 
The  audience  sat  motionless  and  speechless 
while  the  sword  of  truth  uncovered  this  man's 
hypocrisy. 

I  made  some  references  to  lodges,  which 
stirred  things  generally.  The  people  of  this 
town  and  church,  like  Ephraim,  were  joined  to 
their  idols  and  wished  to  be  let  alone.  The 
cry  that  went  up  in  behalf  of  secret  organiza- 
tions doubtless  had  a  striking  similarity  to  the 
uproar  at  Ephesus  when  the  idolatry  of  that 
city  was  made  manifest  under  the  preaching  of 


198       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

Paul.  Twelve  disciples  having  received  the 
Holy  Ghost  shook  the  foundations  of  the 
heathen  city,  and  in  much  confusion  the 
idolaters  cried  out:  "Great  is  Diana  of  the 
Ephesians. "  Their  wrath  was  only  appeased 
by  the  town  clerk's  making  a  plea  to  them  on 
the  ground  that  they  would  be  called  to  ac- 
count by  the  authorities  for  the  uproar.  All 
the  well-known  secret  orders  were  represented 
in  this  place,  and  it  was  claimed  that  our 
local  preacher  had  organized  them  all. 

Special  services  were  begun  and  unusual 
interest  was  shown  by  the  unsaved  and  non- 
church-going  people,  while  the  attendance  of 
the  membership  was  very  small.  The  women 
as  well  as  the  men  were  more  interested  in 
their  lodges  than  in  salvation,  and  often  ex- 
cused their  absence  from  the  services  by  saying 
they  had  to  attend  their  lodges.  It  kept  the 
local  preacher  and  these  lodge  devotees  busy 
attending  funerals.  They  came  out  on  dress 
parade  when  one  of  their  number  was  to  be 
buried  and  made  a  great  display,  especially 
at  the  grave,  where  they  reminded  me  of 
Indians  that  I  had  seen  in  Montana  in  their 
orgies  over  the  dead. 

The  local  preacher  stirred  up  so  much 
bitterness  against  us  among  the  church  mem- 
bers and  townspeople  that  soon  a  request  was 
made  of  the  presiding  elder  for  our  removal. 


EEIE  CHARGE  199 

Later  this  elder  came  and  severely  reproved 
me  for  saying  anything  against  lodges;  he  gave 
us  to  understand  that  he  was  a  Free  Mason 
himself  and  that  we  dared  not  cast  reflections 
on  his  Christianity.  I  told  him  that  my 
father  was  once  a  Free  Mason,  but  when  he 
was  converted  he  saw  plainly  that  he  could  no 
longer  hold  to  his  lodges.  The  presiding 
elder  displayed  his  carnality  and.  informed  us 
that  he  was  a  Christian  and  had  not  dropped 
his  lodge  either.  He  then  made  the  state- 
ment that  no  person  could  be  a  Free  Mason 
who  was  not  a  believer.  We  knew  this  to  be 
untrue  and  were  quite  sure  that  he  knew  it 
too,  but  he  wanted  to  maintain  his  position. 

Philip  Zang,  the  great  Colorado  brewer, 
was  a  Free  Mason  and  an  Odd  Fellow,  yet 
his  beer  has  cursed  the  lives  of  thousands  and 
taken  the  bread  from  the  mouths  of  poor 
women  and  innocent  children.  The  Denver 
dailies  said  this  man  had  the  greatest  funeral 
ever  witnessed  in  the  history  of  the  city. 
They  claimed  that  he  was  buried  in  an  alumi- 
num casket  costing  a  thousand  dollars.  There 
were  three  thousand  dollars'  worth  of  flowers, 
some  of  which  were  [woven  into  magnifi- 
cent designs — such  as  Crosses,  Gates  Ajar, 
Anchors,  etc.  The  bands  played  the  delicate 
strains  of  a  funeral  march  at  the  head  of  a 
cortege  of  double  carriages  over  a  mile  long. 


200       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

To  Rev. was  extended  the  courtesy  of   a 

few  remarks,  in  which  he  said :  '  The  deeds 
of  Mr.  Zang  are  a  sufficient  monument  to  his 
memory. "  The  men  who  were  set  up  as  the 
principal  actors  on  the  occasion,  performing 
the  funeral  rites,  etc.,  were  Free  Masons  and 
Odd  Fellows.  With  great  pomp  and  display 
they  laid  away  the  man  whose  name  is  on  a 
sign  at  the  door  of  almost  every  hell  of  infamy 
and  debauchery  in  the  West.  Imagine  the 
Free  Masons  burying  such  a  character  as 
Zang,  the  brewer,  and  then  laying  the  corner 
stone  of  some  church  edifice,  which  is  not  an 
uncommon  occurrence.  The  writer  has  seen 
the  Free  Masons  lay  the  corner  stone  of  a 
Methodist  church.  Methodists  who  endorse 
Free  Masonry  should  be  consistent;  and  to  be 
so  they  would  have  to  endorse  the  life  of 
Philip  Zang,  and  also  his  saloons  and  his  beer. 
We  wonder  how  these  modern  sons  of  John 
Wesle}r  would  have  felt  officiating  at  the  fun- 
eral of  their  deceased  brother  whose  hands 
were  stained  with  the  blood  of  thousands! 
Yet  Methodist  preachers  will  tell  you  that  a 
person  must  be  a  believer  before  he  can  be  a 
Free  Mason.  James  says,  "The  devils  also 
believe  and  tremble." 

The  spiritual  warfare  was  growing  fiercer 
each  day,  and  persecutions  were  coming  thick 
and  fast,  but  the  Lord  gave  me  strength  suffi- 


EEIE  CHAEGE  201 

cient  for  every  conflict.  I  felt  if  my  husband 
would  only  stand  by  me  I  could  face  a  regi- 
ment of  demons,  but  he  was  not  in  the  full 
light  and  could  not  see  things  as  I  did.  From 
day  to  day  I  thought  the  burden  would  almost 
crush  me  as  I  prayed  for  him  and  my  brother 
Charles,  who  were  both  preaching  without  be- 
ing sanctified.  The  fact  is,  I  had  to  stand 
alone  with  God  and  make  the  fight  whether 
they  stood  by  me  or  not.  I  knew  this  was  the 
price  and  that  I  would  have  to  be  true  to  God 
or  lose  my  soul. 

The  meetings  continued  with  good  re- 
sults, notwithstanding  the  difficulties  in  the 
way.  I  knew  if  my  husband  would  seek  and 
actually  obtain  "the  blessing"  there  would  be  a 
new  epoch  in  his  life.  But  he  held  back, 
which  made  it  much  harder  for  me.  I  could 
not  help  but  weep  when  I  thought  of  what 
might  be  accomplished  if  he  were  sanctified. 
He  often  became  troubled  and  asked  me  why 
I  wept.  I  shrank  from  telling  him,  knowing 
he  would  be  ready  for  an  argument,  and  I  had 
learned  by  experience  that  there  is  no  good  re- 
sulting from  controversy.  One  Sunday  morning 
when  I  could  not  restrain  my  tears,  he  stood 
in  the  door  with  his  Bible  under  his  arm  just 
ready  to  start  to  the  church.  I  unburdened 
my  heart  to  him  and  told  him  that  it  was  for 
him  that  I  wept.  To  my  surprise  he  made  no 


202        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

reply  and  walked  away.     I  saw  at   once   that 
God  had  taken  hold  of  him. 

The  church  members  had  great  confi- 
dence in  him  and  thought  he  had  a  far  better 
experience  than  I  had.  On  entering  the  pul- 
pit that  morning  he  confessed  publicly,  for 
the  first  time,  that  he  was  not  sanctified. 
The  Lord  used  his  confession  to  stir  up  the 
people.  For  days  I  waited  upon  God,  fasting 
and  praying  for  his  complete  deliverance 
from  the  carnal  mind;  I  received  the  assur- 
ance that  something  would  soon  be  done  in 
his  behalf.  He  writes  of  the  experience  that 
came  shortly  after  this: 

"I  arose  one  Sunday  morning  with  such 
a  sense  of  unworthiness  that  I  cried  out  in 
prayer,  wishing  that  I  might  be  hidden  away 
in  the  Rock  of  Ages.  I  went  to  church  at 
eleven  o'clock.  Brother  H.  C—  -  was  hold- 
ing special  evangelistic  meetings  for  us.  After 
the  opening  exercises  I  took  a  seat  in  the  con- 
gregation with  a  feeling  of  unworthiness  that 
would  have  hidden  me  in  the  lowliest  vale  or 
place  accessible.  At  the  close  of  the  sermon 
when  the  evangelist  called  people  to  the  altar 
I  went  up  and  kneeled  behind  the  pulpit 
where  I  could  be  hidden  from  view.  Sud- 
denly the  Spirit  of  God  came  in  power  upon 
me  and  a  shout  arose  from  the  depth  of  my 


EEIB  CHAJRGE  203 

being,  and  I  knew  when  it  reached  my  vocal 
cords,  that  if  God  had  His  way  with  me,  I 
would  shout  at  the  top  of  my  voice.  I  had 
told  my  wife  that  I  would  never  shout,  that 
it  was  not  my  disposition,  etc.  Satan  said, 
If  you  shout  now  you  will  make  a  fool  of 
yourself,  and  you  will  displease  that  man  and 
woman  in  the  back  part  of  the  church  whose 
friendship  you  prize. '  I  said,  'I  have  con- 
ferred with  flesh  and  blood  long  enough' — 
these  thoughts  were  quicker  than  a  flash, 
then  yielding  myself  up  to  God,  I  broke  out, 
'Glory  to  God,  glory  to  God!'  This  was  at 
the  top  of  my  voice.  Then  a  quiet,  sweet 
peace  settled  down  upon  my  soul  and  the 
Spirit  said,  'Stand  up. '  I  arose  and  looked 
over  the  congregation  and  found  the  people 
were  weeping  under  the  mighty  presence  of 
God,  and  the  man  and  woman  over  whom  I 
was  tempted,  were  coming  to  the  altar.  Again 
the  Spirit  distinctly  spoke  to  me  saying, 
'May  I  not  with  a  shout  save  some  one  when 
everything  else  has  failed?'  I  said,  'Yes, 
Lord. '  Years  before  when  seeking  sanctifica- 
tion  I  was  similarly  tested  and  yielded  to  the 
tempter.  Later,  I  received  the  experience, 
but  let  it  be  absorbed  by  the  world.  God 
wonderfully  bore  with  me  in  my  infirmities 
and  un worthiness,  and  often  gave  me  gracious 
anointings  in  the  pulpit.  When  we  came  to 


204        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

Denver  I  murmured  and  complained  over  the 
life  of  faith  and  the  apparent  hardness  and 
uncertainty  of  the  work.  I  soon  learned  bet- 
ter, and  God  forgave  me  and  marvelously 
provided  for  us.  He  has  taken  me  through 
some  severe  refinings  and  taught  me  lessons 
on  the  crucifixion  of  self."  K.  w. 

I  had  been  almost  as  much  burdened  for 
my  brother  Charles  as  I  had  been  for  my  hus- 
band. He  came  to  visit  us,  and  the  Spirit 
came  mightily  upon  me  in  prayer  one  night  at 
the  family  altar.  Hastening  from  the  room 
he  called  to  me  from  the  head  of  the  stairway 
to  tell  me  he  was  afraid  I  was  beside  myself. 
I  had  joy  in  knowing  that  the  Holy  Spirit  had 
directed  an  arrow  that  he  was  unable  to  re- 
move from  his  heart.  After  he  returned  to 
his  charge  he  wrote  me  that  peace  had  come 
to  his  soul.  Experience  has  taught  me  that 
persons  who  are  really  justified  will  not  fight 
sanctification .  We  have  known  some  persons 
at  the  beginning  of  a  revival  meeting,  whom 
we  believed  to  be  truly  justified,  who  after- 
wards refused  to  walk  in  the  light  and  make 
the  consecration  necessary  to  get  sanctified, 
and  therefore  became  entirely  backslidden. 

Three  months  later  my  brother  claimed 
to  get  sanctified  in  our  first  holiness  camp 
meeting.  He  of  course  made  but  little  prog- 


ERIE  CHAEGE  205 

ress   while  he   remained   in   the   old   church. 

More  than  one  hundred  and  fifty  souls 
professed  conversion  during  the  last  months  of 
the  conference  year  on  the  Erie  charge.  The 
blessing  of  God  was  upon  the  work  from  the 
beginning  of  the  year  and  streams  of  living 
water  flowed  out  to  the  people.  The  most  of 
these  converts  were  left  to  the  mercy  of  false 
prophets  and  the  district  presiding  elder  whom 
we  knew  to  be  utterly  barren  of  spiritual  life ; 
and  from  subsequent  reports  this  presiding 
elder  was  not  even  an  honest  man  in  his  busi- 
ness dealings,  much  less  a  person  who  was 
able  to  help  the  people  spiritually. 

The  revival  meetings  spread  to  the  ad- 
joining towns  and  a  number  of  country  school 
districts.  People  drove  their  teams  for  miles 
to  attend  the  services.  They  often  came  to 
the  altar,  as  many  as  twenty  at  a  time,  and 
prayed  until  the  resurrection  power  was  felt  in 
their  souls.  But  my  heart  ached  as  I  thought 
of  these  young  converts  who  were  destined  to 
fall  into  the  hands  of  false  shepherds  who 
were  after  the  fleece  of  their  flocks,  without 
any  real  interest  for  the  sheep. 


CHAPTER    XIV 

THE     BOULDER     CONFERENCE IN      EVANGELISTIC 

WORK BIBLE  SUBJECTS  AND  COMMENTS 

A  COMMITTEE  was  sent  to  the  Confer- 
-**>  ence,  from  the  Erie  charge,  to  make  sure 
of  our  removal.  I  had  awakened  to  the  fact 
that  the  Methodists  are  a  fallen  people,  yet  I 
did  not  fully  comprehend  the  situation  until 
the  powers  of  evil  that  dominated  the  Confer- 
ence as  a  body  were  made  manifest.  The  bishop, 
the  presiding  elders,  and  the  pastors  of  the 
various  churches  showed  their  disapproval  of 
our  work  and  the  revival  that  was  so  far- 
reaching,  by  the  most  unjust  criticisms  and 
accusations  that  could  possibly  have  been 
made.  At  the  request  of  the  presiding  elder, 
the  local  preacher  and  the  committee,  the  Con- 
ference cabinet  voted  to  have  us  removed. 

Regardless  of  their  opposition  to  holiness, 
I  determined  to  avail  myself  of  any  opportun- 
ity to  testify  to  the  experience,  and  did  so  in 
their  love  feast  Sunday  morning.  Bishop 
Merrill  presided,  and  it  would  not  be  hard  for 
anyone  who  ever  saw  or  heard  him,  to  tell 
how  the  testimony  was  received.  With  a  look 
of  displeasure  on  his  face  during  the  testi- 

206 


BOULDEB    CONFEBENCE  207 

mony,  he  bent  over  and  asked  a  preacher  who 
sat  near  him,  some  question  in  regard  to  my- 
self. By  their  looks  and  actions  I  knew  the 
die  was  cast,  and  that  he  would  use  his  influ- 
ence against  us  and  the  work  we  were  doing, 
but  my  heart  rejoiced  inasmuch  as  I  had  de- 
livered my  soul,  and  that  in  the  presence  of 
more  than  a  hundred  Methodist  preachers, 
many  of  whom  I  had  known  for  years.  God 
was  pleased  with  the  stand  that  I  took  before 
this  Conference,  and  has  since  blest  me  a 
thousand-fold  for  it  And  as  my  experience 
widens  and  deepens,  the  subject  of  holiness 
becomes  more  and  more  precious  to  me. 
Hundreds  of  hungry  people  were  present  that 
morning  when  my  testimony  was  given,  many 
of  whom  followed  me  up  during  the  day  and 
lamented  their  spiritual  poverty  and  the  fact 
that  their  pastors  did  not  preach  holiness.  A 
sister,  then  a  member  of  a  Methodist  church 
in  Colorado,  said  she  had  heard  the  doctrine 
preached  years  before  in  the  East  and  knew 
that  she  needed  the  experience,  but  did  not 
know  how  to  obtain  it.  A  preacher  became 
especially  interested  after  having  heard  my 
testimony,  and  sought  every  opportunity  to 
talk  with  me  on  the  subject.  He  had  been 
sanctified  years  before,  but  through  disobedi- 
ence lost  the  experience.  Strange  to  say,  this 
was  the  man  whom  God  was  preparing  to  fol- 


208       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

low  us  and  preach  holiness  on  the  Erie  charge. 
When  the  preachers'  appointments  were 
read,  my  husband's  name  was  down  for 
Broom  field  circuit,  a  charge  consisting  of  two 
country  school  houses,  with  no  parsonage. 
Previous  to  this  it  had  been  supplied  by  stu- 
dents from  the  University  of  Denver.  This 
was  perhaps  my  greatest  test  since  the  Lord 
had  sanctified  my  soul.  I  did  not  know  that 
it  was  possible  for  men  who  claimed  to  be  the 
representatives  of  Jesus  Christ  and  His  Gos- 
pel to  have  so  much  prejudice  and  ill  will  in 
their  hearts.  I  saw  in  these  church  officials 
the  spirit  of  the  inquisition,  and  awakened 
fully  to  the  iact  that  God  is  no  longer  in  the 
machinery  of  the  Methodist  Church.  Ours 
was  the  only  charge  in  the  Conference  where 
there  had  been  a  revival  during  the  year.  To 
send  my  husband  to  the  Broomfield  circuit 
after  having  reported  two  hundred  conversions 
would  show  their  inconsistency;  therefore 
they  schemed  to  keep  him  from  giving  his 
report.  God  had  warned  me  that  all  this  was 
coming,  but  even  then  the  blow  was  almost 
greater  than  I  could  bear.  My  husband  said 
from  the  start  that  if  I  preached  definitely  on 
the  subject  of  holiness  it  would  be  the  cause 
of  his  losing  his  standing  in  the  Conference, 
but  I  knew  that  if  the  Lord  intended  us  to 
stay  in  the  Methodist  Church  He  could  man- 


BOULDER    CONFERENCE  209 

age  backslidden  bishops  and  presiding  elders 
and  vindicate  His  own  servants  if  He  chose  to 
do  so. 

If  we  left  the  church  there  was  nothing 
else  to  join.  I  knew  there  was  a  class  of 
come-outers  in  the  country  who  were  barren 
of  any  spiritual  fruit  and  I  did  not  wish  to  be 
classed  with  them.  One  can  easily  imagine 
my  perplexity  in  being  placed  where  there  was 
seemingly  no  possibility  of  souls  being  saved, 
knowing  as  I  did  how  God  had  stood  by  us  dur- 
ing the  work  of  the  year.  We  could  see  no 
way  of  getting  a  living  on  this  charge,  but  I 
was  not  afraid  of  coming  to  want.  1  had 
proved  God's  promises  before  and  had  faith 
for  temporal  supplies  wherever  our  lot  might 
be  cast.  Our  enemies  were  exultant  over 
their  victory,  but  I  had  died  to  the  opinions 
of  men  and  was  not  particularly  concerned 
about  what  they  thought  or  said.  The  fact 
that  my  work  seemed  to  be  cut  off  gave  me 
the  greatest  concern.  There  were  lessons 
that  an  overruling  Providence  had  to  teach 
me  which  could  not  have  been  learned  in  any 
other  way.  This  experience  with  Conference 
officials  was  the  means  of  severing  the  last 
cord  that  bound  me  to  fallen  Methodism,  and 
God  had  this  in  mind  when  He  permitted  our 
enemies  to  seemingly  triumph  over  us. 

I  saw  that   the   church   that   was   raised 


210       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

up  to  spread  scriptural  holiness  had  become 
like  a  cage  of  unclean  birds.  My  eyes  were 
opened  to  many  things  after  the  Lord  sancti- 
fied my  soul,  but  this  experience  was  neces- 
sary to  reveal  the  apostate  condition  of  Meth- 
odism in  all  of  its  fulness.  During  the  severe 
tests  in  this  conflict  with  the  enemy  my  hus- 
band tried  to  encourage  me,  but  of  course  his 
efforts  availed  but  little;  the  Holy  Spirit 
alone  could  comfort  me.  I  was  dying  to 
Methodism  and  there  was  no  power  to  re- 
lieve me  from  suffering  until  all  had  been  ac- 
complished that  God  was  trying  to  work  out. 
The  end  of  this  experience  was  reached  one 
day  about  noon,  and  my  soul  was  flooded 
with  unspeakable  joy.  I  was  suddenly  lifted 
to  a  mountain  peak  of  victory  in  Beulah, 
higher  than  I  had  ever  had  been  before.  The 
cords  that  bound  me  to  the  dead  mother 
(church)  were  severed  and  I  was  free.  It  was 
liberty  beyond  words  to  express. 

"My  soul  mounted  higher  in  a  chariot  of  fire, 
Nor  did  envy  Elijah  his  seat." 

I  knew  not  what  the  future  would  be,  but 
knew  there  would  be  a  great  change  in  my 
life  from  that  hour.  I  saw  that  the  great 
church  organizations  with  their  millions  of  dol- 
lars, were  in  the  embrace  of  the  most  awfuj 
apostasy  that  has  been  known  in  the  Gospej 


BOULDEE  CONFEBEKCE      .211 

dispensation,  and  that  God's  servants  could 
only  use  them  as  mission  fields.  And  in  do- 
ing this,  if  they  failed  to  declare  the  whole 
counsel  of  God  they  were  in  most  awful  danger. 
A  person  who  has  the  Pentecostal  baptism 
will  not  be  received  in  the  old  churches.  This 
is  a  thing  of  the  past  and  has  been  for  years. 
There  is  a  sort  of  worldly  insanity  devel- 
oped in  them  that  reminds  me  of  an  insane 
mother  I  once  knew,  who  undressed  her  two- 
weeks-old  baby  and  put  it  in  a  hat  box  on  a 
cold  winter  day  and  left  it  to  freeze  to  death. 
It  was  taken  out  of  the  box  and  warmed  and 
placed  to  the  mother's  breast  for  nourishment, 
but  she  repeatedly  pushed  it  away.  There 
was  a  strange  unnaturalness  in  her  lack  of 
affection  for  the  child,  which  is  a  good  illustra- 
tion of  the  old  church  mother  in  whose  arms 
new-born  babes  are  unsafe.  A  spiritual  babe 
cannot  survive  the  treatment  it  will  receive  at 
the  hands  of  these  apostate  denominations, 
and  the  devil  does  all  in  his  power  to  cause 
new  converts  to  fall  into  the  hands  of  these 
spiritually  insane  mothers.  It  is  required  of 
every  child  of  God  to  do  all  in  his  power  to 
keep  young  converts  or  anyone  with  spiritual 
life  away  from  them.  It  was  some  time  before 
I  knew  what  kind  of  advice  to  give  them,  but  I 
walked  in  the  light  as  it  came  and  did  all  that 
I  could  to  save  our  spiritual  children  from 


212        LOOKING  BACK.FEOM    BETJLAH 

the  hand  of  the  slayer  and  kept  the  holy  fires 
burning  in  missions  and  cottage  meetings 
where  they  could  go  and  receive  spiritual 
warmth  and  nourishment. 

Our  attention  was  called  one  day  to  a 
beautiful  grove  near  Pleasant  View,  in  the 
neighborhood  of  the  little  church  where  I  was 
first  used  in  revival  work.  The  owner,  in 
taking  my  husband  and  myself  through  the 
grove,  remarked  that  one  person  had  said 
it  would  be  a  good  place  for  a  beer  garden, 
and  others  said  it  would  be  just  the  place  for 
a  camp  meeting.  I  had  never  heard  of  a  holi- 
ness camp  meeting,  but  for  days  I  could  not 
get  rid  of  the  thought  of  having  one  in  this 
grove.  I  believed  the  Lord  would  open  the 
way  for  it  and  kept  it  continually  before  Him 
for  a  number  of  weeks.  During  the  time  I 
did  not  mention  it  to  anyone  for  fear  there 
would  be  objections  to  calling  it  a  holiness 
camp  meeting.  Knowing  this  would  be  a 
device  of  the  enemy  to  defeat  my  purpose,  I 
prayed  earnestly  for  the  Lord  to  put  it  on  the 

hearts  of  my  husband  and  Brother  R.    C , 

a  man  who  was  sanctified  in  our  meetings,  to 
co-operate  with  me,  and  my  prayer  was  an- 
swered. Yet  my  husband  made  a  strong  plea 
against  calling  it  a  holiness  meeting;  he  thought 
the  people  would  not  come,  and  especially  the 
preachers. 


FIEST   CAMP  MEETING  213 

I  wrote  to  W.  B.  Godbey  to  come  and 
hold  services  in  a  church  on  my  husband's 
charge.  In  his  reply  he  stated  that  his  busi- 
ness, chiefly,  was  to  conduct  holiness  camp 
meetings.  This  was  the  first  time  I  had  ever 
heard  of  such  meetings.  He  consented  to 
come  to  Colorado  and  preach  for  us  at  our 
camp  meeting,  which  was  advertised  as  a 
holiness  camp  meeting  and  was  the  first  one 
ever  held  in  the  state. 

Many  remarkable  answers  to  prayer  were 
seen  at  this  meeting.  In  the  very  first  service 
the  flood-gates  of  heaven  were  opened  and 
we  shouted  for  joy.  There  was  truly  a  stream 
from  the  heavenly  ocean,  flowing  from  the 
first  day  of  the  meeting  to  its  close.  My 
mother,  for  whom  I  had  been  praying  for 
many  months,  came  to  Colorado  at  this 
time.  I  had  the  evidence  that  she  was 
coming,  yet  it  seemed  too  good  to  be  true 
when  her  arrival  on  the  ground,  with  one  of 
my  nephews,  was  announced  .  The  next  day 
mother  was  at  the  altar  and  the  Lord  blest 
her  soul.  The  shouts  of  my  husband  stirred 
me  to  the  depths,  and  the  groans  of  my 
brother  awakened  in  me  a  keen  sympathy, 
but  the  sight  of  her  upturned  face  as  she  cried, 
'  This  is  what  I  have  been  wanting  all  these 
years, "  gave  me  almost  more  joy  than  I  could 
bear.  She  remained  with  us  for  two  years  and 


214      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

kept  the  children  while  I  went  forth  respon- 
sive to  the  call  of  the  Lord,  in  evangelistic 
work. 

Not  being  able  to  get  a  house  on  the  new 
circuit,  we  found  it  convenient  to  remain  at 
Erie,  from  which  place  the  appointments 
could  be  easily  reached.  My  husband  often 
secured  some  one  to  preach  for  him  and 
went  with  me  in  revival  work.  God  gave  us 
many  victories.  We  remained  in  the  town 
nearly  two  years,  to  the  humiliation  of  those 
who  sought  to  get  rid  of  us.  Our  presence 
among  them,  and  their  being  unable  to  dictate 
as  to  whether  we  should  stay  or  go,  was  a  great 
punishment  to  them.  When  they  heard  they 
were  to  have  a  new  pastor,  of  course  they 
were  delighted,  but  imagine  their  displeasure 
when  he  sought  and  obtained  the  blessing  of 
sanctification  at  our  camp  meeting.  They 
began  the  conference  year  with  a  worse  prob- 
lem to  solve  than  they  had  before.  From 
time  to  time  the  red-hot  Gospel  shot  was 
poured  upon  them .  Several  interesting  scenes 
were  witnessed  at  the  church  where  our  pres- 
ence added  to  their  discomfort.  One  Sunday 
morning  when  the  pastor  was  about  half  way 
through  his  discourse  two  men  rose  and  pub- 
licly denounced  some  of  his  statements. 
They  were  like  ravenous  beasts  hunting  for 
prey.  I  called  the  whole  church  to  prayer, 


FIEST  CAMP  MEETING  215 

quiet  was  restored  and  the  sermon  was  finished. 

In  July,  the  Lord  clearly  led  my  brother 
Charles  and  myself  to  go  on  an  evangelistic 
trip  to  Montana.  We  had  a  number  of  rela- 
tives at  Dillon,  all  of  whom  were  unsaved.  It 
was  here  that  I  had  lived  true  to  the  light  in 
a  justified  experience  for  a  number  of  years, 
and  God  led  me  back  to  preach  a  full  Gospel 
to  the  people  I  had  once  known  and  fellow- 
shipped. 

My  brother,  who  was  preaching  in  an  alti- 
tude four  thousand  feet  above  Denver,  needed 
a  change  of  climate  for  a  time,  and  after  some 
hesitation  consented  to  go  with  me.  On  our 
arrival  at  Dillon  the  members  of  the  Method- 
ist Church  gave  us  a  unanimous  invitation  to 
hold  meetings  for  them. 

Their  pastor  had  gone  to  the  mountains 
for  an  outing,  but  they  thought  he  would  not 
object,  inasmuch  as  they  had  the  consent  of 
the  official  board.  He  returned  in  a  few  days 
and  took  a  decided  stand  against  our  meetings 
being  held  in  the  church.  The  Baptist  min- 
ister was  in  favor  of  union  services  if  the  co- 
operation of  the  M.  E.  pastor  could  be 
secured,  but  the  latter  did  not  favor  them, 
and  the  stand  he  took  caused  all  the  church 
doors  in  the  city  to  be  closed  against  us.  The 
ministers  of  the  other  denominations  won- 
dered how  this  came  about,  knowing  that  we 


216        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

were  Methodists,  and  had  supposed  that  the 
Methodist  preacher  would  stand  by  us.  We 
decided  to  send  to  Denver  for  our  Gospel  tent, 
and  put  it  up  in  the  center  of  the  town. 
The  people  of  Dillon  had  never  seen  anything 
like  it  at  that  place  before,  and  naturally  it  at- 
tracted a  great  deal  of  attention. 

The  attendance  was  good  from  the  very 
first  service,  and  at  one  time  there  were  sev- 
enteen seekers  at  the  altar,  the  most  of  whom 
were  Methodists,  the  pastor's  mother-in-law 
being  among  them.  I  had  a  sister  in  the 
town  who  was  reclaimed  in  this  meeting.  My 
eldest  brother,  who  had  been  a  backslider  for 
a  number  of  years,  was  reclaimed.  This  was 
the  brother  whom  I  saw  in  the  vision  of  hell  that 
the  Lord  had  given  me  a  few  months  before. 
I  had  prayed  for  him  then  until  the  Lord  gave 
me  the  assurance  that  he  would  be  saved. 

Most  of  the  seekers  were  converted  or 
reclaimed,  and  a  few,  we  believe,  were  sancti- 
fied. After  the  revival  services  closed  in  the 
tabernacle  the  converts  started  meetings  in 
private  homes.  Their  numbers  increased  un- 
til it  was  hard  to  find  a  room  large  enough  to 
accommodate  all  who  wished  to  attend.  They 
kept  the  revival  fires  burning  for  more  than 
two  years,  or  at  least  until  another  preacher 
was  sent  to  the  Methodist  Church  for  the  ex- 
press purpose  of  stopping  these  cottage  meet- 


DILLON  MEETING  217 

ings.  This  preacher  made  the  statement  at 
the  annual  Conference  that  if  he  were  sent  to 
the  charge  he  would  put  an  end  to  '  'that  fa- 
natical movement."  True  to  his  word,  he 
came,  and  as  an  angel  of  light,  succeeded  in 
closing  the  cottage  meetings.  His  promise 
was  that  he  would  make  all  the  meetings  in 
the  church  holiness  meetings,  and  it  would  not 
be  necessary  to  hold  any  others.  The  false 
prophets  have  ensnared  many  people  in  this 
way.  Too  late  they  find  out  it  is  one  of  the 
devil's  devices  to  crush  out  holiness. 

It  is  astonishing  how  the  multitudes  are 
caught  by  church  wolves  in  sheep's  clothing. 
Peter  says,  '  'Spots  they  are  and  blemishes, 
sporting  themselves  with  their  own  deceivings 
while  they  feast  with  you;  having  eyes  full  of 
adultery,  and  that  cannot  cease  from  sin;  be- 
guiling unstable  souls;  an  heart  they  have 
exercised  with  covetous  practices;  which  have 
forsaken  the  right  way,  and  are  gone  astray, 
following  the  way  of  Balaam.  *  While 

they  promise  them  liberty,  they  themselves  are 
the  servants  of  corruption"  (2  Peter  2  -.13-  [9). 
"Nevertheless  the  foundation  of  God  standeth 
sure,  having  this  seal.  The  Lord  knoweth 
them  that  are  his"  (2  Tim.  2:19).  "Believe 
not  every  spirit*  but  try  the  spirits  whether 
they  are  of  God;  because  many  false  prophets 
are  gone  out  into  the  world"  (i  John  4:1). 


218       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

In  this  time  of  awful  apostasy,  it  behooves 
us  to  heed  the  above  warning.  Satan  has 
kept  his  prophets  busy  all  through  the  cen- 
turies, and  he  has  more  of  them  to-day  than 
at  any  other  time  since  the  world  began. 
They  are  to  be  feared  more  when  they  come 
as  angels  of  light  and  pretend  to  be  the  repre- 
sentatives of  the  true  Gospel  than  when  they 
come  some  other  way.  The  time  may  have 
been  when  some  of  them  had  real  spiritual 
light  and  a  desire  to  see  souls  saved,  but  they 
compromised  and  forfeited  all  the  rights  and 
claims  to  the  Christian  ministry,  and  are  now 
tools  in  the  hand  of  the  devil.  We  find  them  in 
Epworth  Leagues,  Christian  Endeavor  Socie- 
ties, Sunday-schools,  conventions,  conferences, 
assemblies  and  synods;  at  receptions,  in  the 
social  circles  of  the  rich,  in  theological  chairs, 
on  the  lecture  platform,  and  in  banqueting 
halls.  They  go  to  the  General  Conferences, 
are  secretaries  of  the  benevolent  societies, 
and  are  at  the  head  of  the  book  concerns. 
Perhaps  you  would  not  have  thought  of  look- 
ing in  these  places  for  the  class  of  people  that 
John  tells  us  about.  You  will  be  blind  to  this 
until  the  Holy  Ghost  gives  you  clear  spiritual 
vision.  "Hear  now  this,  O  foolish  people 
and  without  understanding;  which  have  eyes, 
and  see  not;  which  have  ears,  and  hear  not. 
*  *  *  For  among  my  people  are  found  wicked 


FA.LSE    PROPHETS  219 

men;  they  lay  wait,  as  he  that  setteth  snares; 
they  set  a  trap,  they  catch  men.  *  *  *  They 
are  waxen  fat,  they  shine:  yea,  they  overpass 
the  deeds  of  the  wicked:  they  judge  not  the 
cause  of  the  fatherless,  yet  they  prosper.  *  *  * 
Shall  I  not  visit  for  these  things?  saith  the 
Lord :  shall  not  my  soul  be  avenged  on  such 
a  nation  as  this?  the  prophets  prophesy 
falsely  and  the  priests  bear  rule  by  their 
means;  and  my  people  love  to  have  it  so: 
and  what  will  ye  do  in  the  end  thereof?*'  (Jer. 
5:21-31).  Paul  says  they  are  ( 'traitors,  heady, 
high-minded,  lovers  of  pleasure  more  than 
lovers  of  God;  having  a  form  of  godliness, 
but  denying  the  power  thereof;''  and  says, 
4 'From  such  turn  away"  (2  Tim.  3:4-5). 

A  Methodist  preacher  in  a  western  city, 
living  near  us,  attended  a  prize  fight ;  another 
took  some  of  his  people  and  went  to  the  fa- 
mous Gentry  dog  show,  within  a  block  of  our 
holiness  tent  meeting.  The  Ringling  Broth- 
ers, with  their  great  circus,  paraded  the  streets 
with  a  piece  of  canvas  thrown  over  an  ele- 
phant's back  advertising  the  beer  of  a  famous 
brewer,  and  a  Methodist  preacher  with  his 
family  was  seen  going  to  the  circus.  The  de- 
generate Catholic  priests  of  Mexico  attend  the 
cock  and  bull  fights,  and  what  is  the  differ- 
ence ?  The  fact  is  there  is  no  kind  of  sin  that 
is  not  endorsed  directly  or  indirectly  by  Meth- 


220       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

odist  preachers,  and  it  is  high  time  that  the 
people  whom  they  are  deceiving  were  getting 
their  eyes  open. 

A  picture  comes  before  me  of  false  pro- 
phets skulking  away  behind  the  charred  walls 
of  perdition  to  avoid  meeting  lost  souls  whom 
they  succeeded  in  deceiving.  Ever  and  anon 
they  are  greeted  with  fiery  denunciations  from 
those  who  have  been  the  victims  of  their  hy- 
pocrisy and  crime.  The  door  of  mercy  is  for- 
ever closed,  while  the  gulf  widens  and  hell's 
eternal  night  continues  to  blacken,  and  its  in- 
mates sink  deeper  and  deeper  into  its  awful 
depths. 

Many  persons  who  are  deceived  by  false 
prophets  will  never  realize  it  until  they  have 
lost  the  last  opportunity  for  escape.  Sin 
causes  stupidity  and  blindness,  and  people 
who  are  unwilling  to  forsake  all  and  follow 
Jesus,  readily  become  the  dupes  of  false  pro- 
phets and  every  form  of  heresy.  Jesus  says, 
'  'Whosoever  he  be  of  you  that  forsaketh  not 
all  that  he  hath,  he  cannot  be  my  disciple" 
(Luke  14:33).  The  multitudes  are  clinging 
to  the  things  of  the  world  and  vainly  imagine 
there  will  be  a  way  of  escape  for  them!  John 
2:15  says,  "Love  not  the  world,  neither  the 
things  that  are  in  the  world.  If  any  man 
love  the  world  the  love  of  the  father  is  not  in 
him." 


FALSE    PEOPHETS  221 

The  rich  man  we  read  of  in  the  i2th 
chapter  of  Luke  loved  the  world.  He  made 
plans  to  pull  down  his  old  barns  and  build 
greater,  so  that  he  might  have  a  place  to  be- 
stow his  fruits  and  grains.  He  thought 
within  himself  saying,  What  shall  I  do,  because 
I  have  no  room  where  to  bestow  my  fruits? 
And  he  said,  This  will  I  do,  I  will  pull  down 
my  barns,  and  build  greater;  and  there  will 
I  bestow  all  my  fruits  and  my  goods.  And  I 
will  say  to  my  soul,  Soul,  thou  hast  much 
goods  laid  up  for  many  years;  take  thine  ease, 
eat,  drink,  and  be  merry. "  The  average  pro- 
fessor of  religion  would  see  nothing  wrong  in 
such  plans;  in  fact  this  fool  would  be  com- 
mended for  enlarging  his  storehouses.  Any 
of  the  preachers  in  the  modern  pulpits  would 
gladly  pass  him  as  being  all  right  if  he 
would  only  join  their  church  and  be  baptized 
and  give  a  small  per  cent  of  the  one  tenth  of 
his  income.  You  can  readily  see  that  peril- 
ous times  are  upon  us  and  many  are  follow- 
ing the  pernicious  ways  of  these  false  prophets, 
who  through  covetousness,  with  feigned  words 
make  merchandise  of  those,  whose  judgment 
lingereth  not  and  whose  damnation  slumber- 
eth  not.  God  knew  the  rich  man's  thoughts 
and  put  them  down  for  all  succeeding  genera- 
tions to  read  and  profit  by  and  said,  "THOU 
FOOL,  THIS  NIGHT  THY  SOUL 


222       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

SHALL  BE  REQUIRED  OF  THEE:  then 
whose  shall  these  things  be  which  thou  hast 
provided?  SO  IS  HE  THAT  LAYETH 
UP  TREASURES  FOR  HIMSELF,  and  is 
not  rich  toward  God."  We  see  here  the  utter 
impossibility  of  laying  up  earthly  treasures 
and  being  rich  toward  God.  "For  where 
your  treasure  is  there  will  your  heart  be  also. " 
Here  is  an  emphatic  statement,  it  is  one  of 
God's  unchangeable  laws,  that  where  the 
treasure  is  the  heart  will  be  also. 

Romans  13:14  says,  "Make  not  provision 
for  the  flesh,  to  fulfill  the  lusts  thereof, "  and 
again  we  read,  "No  man  that  warreth  entan- 
gleth  himself  with  the  affairs  of  this  life;  that 
he  may  please  him  who  hath  chosen  him  to 
be  a  soldier"  (2  Tim.  2:4).  When  a  person 
is  endued  with  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost 
he  must  be  absolutely  free  from  every  worldly 
entanglement.  Like  Elijah,  it  may  fall  to  his 
lot  more  than  once  to  flee  for  his  life,  pursued 
by  false  prophets  or  by  some  bloodthirsty  Jez- 
ebel determined  to  slay  him.  If  a  person's 
heart  is  set  on  the  things  of  the  world  and  he 
tarries  to  carry  on  a  business,  or  otherwise 
engage  in  secular  employment,  he  is  not  free 
to  do  the  will  of  God.  The  devil  has  every 
advantage  over  him  while  he  is  thus  engaged. 
God  knows  that  no  one  can  make  his  escape 
with  weights  tied  to  him,  therefore  the  com- 


FALSE  PKOPHETS  223 

m and  is  to  lay  aside  every  weight  and  sin  so 
that  the  race  may  be  run  with  patience,  with 
nothing  in  the  way  to  hinder  faith.  It  means 
much  to  contend  for  the  faith  that  was  once 
delivered  to  the  saints. 

God  says  the  silver  and  gold  are  His,  and 
the  cattle  upon  a  thousand  hills.  He  also 
said,  "If  I  were  hungry,  I  would  not  tell 
thee;  for  the  world  is  mine,  and  the  fulness 
thereof"  (Psa.  50:12).  God's  only  plan  for 
His  people  is  for  them  to  live  by  faith.  His 
word  cannot  be  made  void  and  He  says,  "  The 
just  shall  live  by  faith." 

4 'Therefore  I  say  unto  you,  "Take  no 
thought  for  your  life,  what  ye  shall  eat;  nei- 
ther for  the  body,  what  ye  shall  put  on.  The 
life  is  more  than  meat,  and  the  body  more 
than  raiment.  Consider  the  ravens:  for  they 
neither  sow  nor  reap;  which  neither  have 
storehouse  nor  barn ;  and  God  feedeth  them : 
how  much  more  are  ye  better  than  the  fowls?" 
He  has  made  even  the  fowls  an  example  of 
the  faith  life;  they  have  neither  storehouses 
nor  barns,  and  are  worthless  in  comparison  to 
a  human  soul,  yet  He  cares  for  them;  He 
clothes  the  lilies  and  the  grass  of  the  field, 
that  exist  to-day  and  to-morrow  are  cast  into 
the  oven,  and  says,  "How  much  more  will  he 
clothe  you,  O  ye  of  little  faith?"  What  a 
stinging  rebuke  this  is  to  peopla^who  are  selfish 


224       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

enough  to  spend  all  of  their  time  and  strength 
in  seeking  temporal  supplies  when  they  ought 
to  be  working  in  the  vineyard  of  the  Lord! 

Methodists  teach  their  people  to  be  loyal 
to  the  church.  The  general  belief  is  that  the 
world  is  growing  better,  and  yet  we  are  in  the 
most  awful  spiritual  darkness  that  has  ever 
been  known.  People  are  mistaking  intellect- 
uality for  spiritual  life.  They  forget  that  the 
Scripture  says  that  the  world  by  wisdom  knew 
not  God.  If  they  will  not  believe  God's  word 
they  must  be  punished  with  awful  judgments. 
The  doctrine  of  no-hell,  and  many  other  her- 
esies are  permeating  every  avenue  of  the  old 
church,  and  the  cup  of  God's  indignation 
is  about  full.  When  the  Christ  of  Calvary 
walked  the  earth,  He  said  that  men  must 
forsake  all  to  follow  Him.  He  left  no  one  in 
uncertainty;  He  marked  the  path  out  so 
plainly  that  all  can  see  it.  There  is  no  re- 
spect of  persons  with  God;  there  is  one  com- 
mon salvation  for  all.  In  every  way  He  has 
warned  this  generation ;  they  have  had  '  'pre- 
cept upon  precept  and  line  upon  line, "  yet 
they  continue  to  listen  to  false  prophets  and 
to  ignore  the  plain  teachings  of  God's  word. 
When  will  people  come  to  a  knowledge  of  the 
truth ;  when  will  they  learn  that  it  is  a  right- 
eous thing  for  God  to  recompense  tribulation 
upon  the  ungodly! 


FALSE  PEOPHETS  225 

Soon  we  will  be  under  the  white  lights  of 
the  Judgment  Bar,  and  the  Judge  of  all  the 
earth  will  open  the  book.  'There  is  nothing 
covered  that  shall  not  be  revealed;  neither  hid 
that  shall  not  be  made  known. "  A  true  pro- 
phet will  cry  aloud  and  spare  not,  he  will  lift 
up  his  voice  and  show  men  their  transgressions. 
The  preacher  who  spares  carnality  is  destined 
to  suffer  awful  retributions.  When  he  fails 
to  declare  the  whole  counsel  of  God  he  is  like 
the  unfaithful  watchman  (Ezekiel  33).  Peo- 
ple are  looking  to  him  instead  of  reading  their 
Bibles  and  seeking  light  from  God,  hence  the 
greater  is  his  responsibility;  but  they  will  be 
judged  for  following  him  when  his  spiritual 
apostasy  was  apparent  to  all.  The  time  has 
come,  when,  as  Paul  said,  '  They  will  not  en- 
dure sound  doctrine,  but  after  their  own  lusts 
shall  they  heap  to  themselves  teachers,  hav- 
ing itching  ears. "  John  Wesley  says  of  this 
class  of  preachers,  'They  say  much  of  the 
promises  and  little  of  the  conynands;  they 
corrupt  their  hearers,  vitiate  their  appetites  so 
that  they  cannot  endure  sound  doctrine  or  re- 
ceive true  nourishment.  They  feed  them 
with  sweetmeats  until  the  bread  and  meat  of 
the  kingdom  becomes  unpalatable,  and  it  is 
extremely  difficult  to  recover  them  from  their 
enfeebled  state  and  get  strength  and  vigor 
into  their  souls.  Preachers  of  this  kind, 

8 


226        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

though  it  may  appear  otherwise,  spread  death 
rather  than  life  among  the  people."  Then 
such  persons  are  harder  to  deal  with  than  those 
who  make  no  profession  at  all,  and  yet  they 
imagine  they  are  doing  a  great  work,  and  that 
God's  machinery  would  stop  if  they  ceased  to 
lend  their  assistance.  The  preachers  of  to- 
day need  some  one  like  John  the  Baptist  to 
hew  down  their  corrupt  trees  and  give  them 
to  understand  that  God  could  get  along  much 
better  without  than  with  them,  and  that  He 
is  able  of  the  stones  to  raise  up  children  unto 
Abraham.  The  publicans  and  harlots  stand  a 
better  chance  of  going  into  the  kingdom  than 
the  modern  ministry. 

There  is  not  one  person  in  ten  thousand 
who  will  take  a  stand  for  God  and  be 
true  to  Him  when  being  denounced  by  the 
Pharisees  of  this  age.  At  the  time  of  Christ 
they  said,  '  'Have  any  of  the  rulers  believed 
on  him?"  If  so,  then  they  could  have  af- 
forded to  put  themselves  on  record  as  be- 
lievers, too;  and  the  same  spirit  is  manifested 
everywhere  to-day.  Like  the  chameleon, 
hypocritical  professors  change  their  color  to 
correspond  to  their  surroundings. 

When  my  brother  Charles  and  I  were  on 
our  way  to  Montana  we  stopped  at  Pocatello, 
Idaho,  and  stayed  from  Saturday  till  Monday. 
On  Sunday  morning  we  went  to  the  Methodist 


FALSE    PBOPHETS  227 

church,  and  after  making  ourselves  known  to 
the  pastor  he  asked  us  to  hold  a  meeting  for 
him  before  we  returned  to  Colorado. 

We  found  the  church  as  lifeless  as  a 
graveyard.  It  took  two  weeks  of  hard  pray- 
ing and  preaching  before  there  were  any  signs 
of  spiritual  life  manifested.  The  pastor  would 
make  long  prayers  and  pray  to  be  filled  with 
the  Spirit,  but  he  was  unwilling  to  meet  the 
conditions.  If  he  had  only  confessed  his 
backslidings  and  stepped  out  of  the  way  of  his 
people,  the  barrier  in  the  meeting  would  have 
been  removed,  but  he  persisted  in  making  a 
bold  profession  of  sanctification  when  every- 
one knew  he  did  not  have  it.  As  the  ostrich, 
fleeing  from  his  pursuer,  sticks  his  head  into 
the  sand  and  imagines  he  is  not  seen,  so  do 
people  like  this  preacher  cover  up  their  sins 
and  imagine  their  spiritual  standing  is  not 
discerned,  but  in  this  they  are  mistaken.  Paul 
says,  "He  that  is  spiritual  judgeth  all  things." 
The  Lord  has  a  few  people  who  have  no  dif- 
ficulty in  locating  false  professors. 

The  last  Sunday  evening  in  this  place  my 
brother  preached,  and  I  followed  with  an  ex- 
hortation which  did  not  please  the  pastor. 
On  reaching  the  parsonage  after  the  service, 
he  turned  on  me  like  a  mad  beast  The 
tiger  in  his  heart  was  turned  loose  and  he, 
white  with  rage,  poured  his  bitter  vitupera- 


228       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

tion  upon  me.  We  often  wonder  at  the  mercy 
and  patience  of  God  in  not  cutting  such  per- 
sons off  sooner  than  He  does.  Some  reference 
was  made  to  politics  in  the  exhortation,  which 
did  not  suit  him.  He  was  a  politician  and 
had  to  endorse  the  liquor  traffic.  Whenever 
I  attempted  to  hold  a  meeting  in  any  of  the 
churches,  with  few  exceptions,  the  results  were 
similar  to  the  above,  and  God  permitted  me 
to  have  such  experiences  with  them  to  show 
me  the  real  path  He  had  marked  out  for  the 
future  for  our  work.  It  is  impossible  to  con- 
serve holiness  in  any  of  the  old  line  denomina- 
tions. 

Isaiah  (56:10-1 1),  speaking  of  false  proph- 
ets, says:  "His  watchmen  are  blind:  they  are 
all  ignorant,  they  are  all  dumb  dogs,  they 
cannot  bark;  sleeping,  lying  down,  loving  to 
slumber.  Yea,  they  are  greedy  dogs  which 
can  never  have  enough,  and  they  are  shep- 
herds that  cannot  understand:  they  all  look  to 
their  own  way,  every  one  for  his  gain,  from 
his  quarter." 

Isaiah  was  prophesying  to  the  Jews  who 
had  become  a  reproach  on  account  of  their 
sins;  and  other  nations  were  preying  upon 
them.  These  nations  he  compared  to  wild 
beasts,  which  are  typical  of  the  beast  of  de- 
pravity in  human  hearts,  which  everywhere 
preys  upon  God's  heritage.  One  can  imagine 


FALSE  PEOPHETS  229 

what  condition  the  people  were  in  when  the 
prophets  were  compared  to  dogs  that  are 
blind,  ignorant  and  dumb,  sleeping,  lying 
down  and  loving  to  slumber.  In  this  condi- 
tion they  could  neither  see  nor  hear  the  ap- 
proach of  the  enemy  and  took  their  ease  in 
the  time  of  greatest  danger.  Why  are  people 
so  foolish  as  to  keep  watchmen  of  this  kind  on 
guard?  The  truth  is,  only  those  who  are 
blind,  ignorant  and  dumb  themselves  will  do 
so.  Spiritual  blindness  and  ignorance  lead  to 
all  kinds  of  blunders,  and  departures  from  the 
path  of  righteousness.  For  this  reason  peo- 
ple submit  themselves  to  the  dictation  of 
carnal  pastors.  We  have  heard  them  say, 
'  'Our  pastor  is  not  very  spiritual,  but  he  is  a 
good  man."  A  woman  said  to  us,  "Our 
pastor  delivers  nice  sermons,  but  why  is  it 
that  we  grow  so  cold  under  his  preaching?" 
When  Aeschines,  the  ancient  Greek  orator, 
spoke,  the  people  said,  'That  is  beautiful;" 
but  when  Demosthenes,  his  opponent,  de- 
livered an  oration,  they  would  say,  "Let  us 
go  fight  Philip. "  Preachers  may  be  brilliant 
and  attractive  in  their  manners  and  speech 
and  not  have  an  iota  of  salvation.  Their  pleas- 
ing personalities  and  oratorical  discourses  may 
captivate  and  hold  the  people,  but  will  never 
uncover  their  sins  and  bring  them  to  repent- 
ance and  a  knowledge  of  spiritual  things. 


230       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

People  everywhere  are  making  great 
mistakes  in  supporting  preachers  whom  they 
know  to  be  void  of  spiritual  power.  To  give 
their  money  to  a  man  simply  •  because  they 
feel  he  deserves  a  living,  is  a  crime  in  the 
sight  of  high  heaven;  it  is  an  endorsement  of 
his  hypocrisy.  They  want  to  do  good,  yet 
they  will  support  a  preacher  who  is  doing 
more  harm  than  a  saloon-keeper.  If  the 
blind  lead  the  blind  both  shall  fall  into  the 
ditch.  The  old  argument  that  we  must  pay 
our  preacher,  keep  sweet  and  try  to  get  him 
into  a  better  experience,  is  of  the  devil.  The 
preacher's  soul  is  of  no  more  value  in  the 
sight  of  God  than  that  of  a  member  of  his  con- 
gregation whom  he  is  deceiving.  Yet  the  devil 
appears  as  an  angel  of  light  and  has  his  soul 
weighed  and  valued  above  his  whole  congre- 
gation. There  is  no  excuse  for  such  ignorance 
on  the  part  of  anyone  who  is  in  possession  of 
his  mental  faculties.  If  he  wants  light  he  can 
get  it  from  God  on  his  knees,  and  read  from 
the  pages  of  His  word  what  the  penalty  will 
be  for  supporting  and  endorsing  false  prophets. 
God's  plan  is  to  expose  hypocrisy,  not  to 
cover  it  up.  It  is  our  business,  as  the  servants 
of  God,  to  uncover  sin  and  to  call  things  by 
their  right  names,  whatever  the  consequences 
may  be.  These  preachers  cry  *  'Peace,  peace, " 


FALSE    PROPHETS 


231 


when  there  is  no  peace. 


a  few  bones  and  feathers  left, 
wise  is  sufficient. 


They  remind  me  of 
the    fox   in   the 
accompa  n  y  i  n  g 
picture  with  his 
foot  on  a  duck's 
neck.      With   a 
grin  of  satisfac- 
tion  he   asked, 
^       "Whose 'it tie 
ducky  are  ou?" 
The  little  duck 
was   soon    d  e- 
voured   by     its 
deceitful  foe  and 
there  were  only 
A  word  to  the 


CHAPTER  XV 

REMARKABLE     EXPERIENCES     IN    THE     WORK 

REACHED  HOME  after  an  ab- 
sence of  eleven  weeks,  and  found  little 
Ray  playing  near  the  gate.  He  had  so  im- 
proved in  health  that  I  did  not  recognize  him 
at  first.  Arthur,  who  had  accompanied  us, 
seeing  my  confusion,  said,  '  'Mamma,  don't 
you  know  him?  It  is  Ray,  sure  it  is."  He 
was  no  longer  the  delicate  little  one  that  for 
months  I  had  constantly  watched  and  wept 
over.  It  had  taken  much  grace  to  stay  away 
from  him  until  my  work  was  done,  yet  from 
time  to  time  Mother  had  written  favorably 
regarding  his  condition.  Truly  the  Lord  had 
done  wonderful  things  for  him. 

Never  had  there  been  greater  results 
from  my  labors  in  the  same  length  of  time, 
and  within  the  six  months  seven  of  my  near- 
est relatives  had  received  salvation.  I  thought 
of  Paul's  words  to  the  Philippian  jailer, 
"Thou  shalt  be  saved,  and  thy  house."  I  re- 
alized the  truth  of  i  Cor.  1:27:  "God  hath 
chosen  the  foolish  things  of  the  world  to  con- 
found the  wise;  and  God  hath  chosen  the 
weak  things  of  the  world  to  confound  the 

232 


EXPEBIENCES  IN  THE   WOEK          233 

things  that  are  mighty,"  and  has  done  this 
that  no  flesh  should  glory  in  His  presence. 
One  thing  I  knew,  that  I  was  consecrated  to 
His  service  for  either  life  or  death,  and  that  I 
had  ceased  to  lean  on  human  understanding, 
or  to  try  to  mark  out  a  path  for  myself. 

'  'Beloved,  if  our  hearts  condemn  us  not, 
then  have  we  confidence  toward  God.  And 
whatsoever  we  ask  we  receive  of  him,  because 
we  keep  his  commandments,  and  do  those 
things  that  are  pleasing  in  his  sight."  If 
Enoch  of  old  could  know  that  he  pleased  God, 
how  much  more  reasonable  that  we  should 
know  it  now  in  this  Holy  Ghost  dispensation. 
It  is  our  privilege  to  have  constant  victory 
since  an  uttermost  salvation  has  been  pro- 
vided for  us. 

Two  weeks  after  our  arrival  home,  I  went 
to  help  a  Methodist  preacher  hold  special 
services  on  his  pastorate.  There  were  two 
churches  in  which  he  wanted  meetings  held. 
At  one  of  the  churches  a  great  work  was  done. 
The  whole  neighborhood  was  stirred  and 
many  souls  prayed  through  at  the  altar  with 
shouts  of  victory.  At  one  service  the  whole 
congregation,  including  both  saints  and  sin- 
ners, were  on  their  knees.  A  moment  of  si- 
lent prayer  followed,  after  which  the  power  of 
God  struck  the  people  like  lightning  bolts 
from  the  skies.  A  young  man  who  had  come 


234      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

to  the  altar  for  pardon  became  so  frightened 
he  ran  from  the  church  and  did  not  stop  until 
he  reached  his  brother's  house  two  miles  away. 
When  asked  why  he  left  the  church  in  this 
manner,  he  said  that  he  felt  so  much  worse 
after  going  forward  that  he  thought  it  best  to 
get  out  of  there  in  a  hurry.  He  was  very 
miserable,  but  could  not  be  induced  to  return. 
Many  persons  on  the  very  threshold  of  the 
kingdom  were  driven  back  because  of  their 
ignorance  as  to  how  salvation  is  obtained. 
The  Holy  Spirit  brings  people  to  see  their 
frightful  condition  and  they  imagine  when 
they  attempt  to  seek  salvation  that  they  are 
growing  worse,  and  stop  seeking  altogether. 

A  stingy  old  man  and  his  wife  living 
near  were  induced  to  attend  the  services. 
They  came  with  a  tight  grip  on  their  pocket- 
book,  determined  to  see  what  was  going  on, 
and  not  to  give  a  penny.  The  subject  the  first 
evening  they  were  there  was,  '  'Zacchseus. " 
When  they  heard  how  the  publican  in  making 
restitution  was  willing  to  restore  four-fold  and 
to  give  the  half  of  his  goods  to  feed  the  poor, 
the  old  man  said,  '  'You  haven't  got  anything  out 
of  my  pocket  yet."  His  neighbors  said  that  he 
would  not  come  again,  but  early  the  next 
evening  he  called  at  the  home  where  I  was  be- 
ing entertained  and  handed  me  a  ten-dollar 
gold  piece.  He  was  on  his  way  to  the  church, 


EXPEBIENCES   IN  THE  WOEK          235 

and  at  the  first  invitation,  to  the  surprise  of 
all,  he  and  his  wife  came  forward  and  began 
to  seek  the  Lord.  With  her  it  proved  to  be 
the  eleventh  hour;  she  was  soon  called  to 
meet  her  God. 

A  Presbyterian,  who  showed  no  signs  of 
spiritual  life,  excused  himself  from  testifying 
by  saying  that  he  confessed  Jesus  in  his  daily 
walk.  Romans  10:10  was  quoted  to  him: 
'  'For  with  the  heart  man  believeth  unto  right- 
eousness, and  with  the  mouth  confession  is 
made  unto  salvation."  This  and  other  similar 
passages  convicted  him  and  he  went  to  the 
altar  as  a  seeker,  and  was  converted.  After 
this  he  was  ready  to  tell  what  the  Lord  had 
done  for  him.  His  timidity  had  been  a  great 
humiliation  to  him,  but  now  he  rejoiced  in  the 
liberty  wherewith  Christ  had  made  him  free. 

The  next  meeting  was  held  at  L . 

Here  the  people  were  trying  to  get  to  heaven 
by  good  works.  Their  minister,  of  course, 
had  been  using  untempered  mortar,  and  when 
the  sledge  hammer  of  God's  word  began  to 
shake  the  old  walls,  they  rebelled. 

One  evening  there  were  twenty- two  seek- 
ers at  the  altar,  the  most  of  whom  were 
church  members  that  had  never  been  con- 
verted. Some  of  the  official  members  com- 
plained about  my  preaching  to  Christians,  as 
they  called  them,  when  they  had  called  me 


236      LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

there  to  preach  to  sinners.  I  knew  that  I  had 
not  missed  my  calling,  whatever  profession 
they  made.  The  pastor  professed  holiness; 
I  was  aware  of  the  fact  that  he  was  doing  this 
to  dodge  the  issue  when  the  unsanctified  and 
others  were  called  forward  to  the  altar.  One 
evening  while  trying  to  speak  from  a  familiar 
text  the  Holy  Ghost  forbade  me  and  the 
special  services  closed.  Later  the  pastor  con- 
fessed that  he  knew  the  reason  the  meeting 
had  closed  so  suddenly.  The  truth  is  he  had 
played  the  coward  and  failed  to  stand  by  the 
preaching  in  the  presence  of  his  ungodly 
church  officials,  and  he  knew  that  God  would 
not  work  under  these  conditions  and  had 
caused  the  meetings  to  close  on  account  of  it. 
A  few  hours  after  reaching  home,  Ray, 
who  had  been  so  well  during  my  absence,  was 
taken  very  ill.  The  Lord  had  encouraged 
me  by  keeping  him  well  when  I  was  away 
from  home  and  I  could  not  understand  why 
he  should  be  taken  down  sick  when  I  came 
home.  The  truth  is,  the  Lord  permitted  this 
several  times  to  keep  me  in  the  work,  and  to 
break  up  any  tendency  I  had  to  stay  at  home 
when  I  should  be  out  preaching  the  Gospel. 
With  the  Psalmist,  my  heart  cries,  "Let 
everything  that  hath  breath  praise  the  Lord. 
His  soul  shall  dwell  at  ease  and  his  seed  shall 
inherit  the  earth"  (Psa.  25:13).  '1  will  abide 


EEVIVAL  AT   BALD   MOUNTAIN       237 

in  thy  tabernacle  forever:  I  will  trust  in  the 
covert  of  thy  wings.  For  thou,  O  God,  hast 
heard  my  vows:  thou  hast  given  me  the  heri- 
tage of  those  who  fear  thy  name"(Psa.  61 14- 5). 

Our  next  meeting  was  at  Bald  Mountain, 
on  my  brother's  pastorate.  Here  Mr.  White 
preceded  me  a  week  and  called  at  the  homes 
and  talked  and  prayed  with  the  people  and 
had  had  several  conversions. 

Sunday  morning  I  attended  the  class 
meeting.  The  principal  members  were  pres- 
ent, and  by  their  testimonies  it  was  evident 
that  the  old  man  of  sin  was  becoming  very 
offensive  to  some  of  them ;  they  told  of  their 
struggles,  failures,  ups  and  downs,  etc. ,  and  of 
their  desire  for  complete  deliverance.  The 
Spirit  came  upon  me  in  great  power  in  preach- 
ing, and  the  people  wept.  When  the  invita- 
tion was  given,  the  altar  and  the  front  seats 
were  filled  with  seekers.  The  power  con- 
tinued to  fall,  and  men,  with  their  faces  wet 
with  tears,  called  on  God  for  deliverance. 
The  Sunday-school  superintendent,  at  one  end 
of  the  altar,  was  in  great  agony,  while  at  the 
other  side  the  class  leader  was  in  distress. 
The  latter  was  the  first  to  pray  through,  then 
another  brother  leaped  to  his  feet  shouting. 
Some  were  making  confessions  and  asking  for- 
giveness. 

In  the  afternoon  the   Sunday-school   was 


238       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

turned  over  to  us  and  closed  with  fifty  pupils 
and  their  teachers  at  the  altar,  seeking  the 
Lord.  In  the  evening  the  church  was  packed 
to  its  utmost  capacity.  The  pressure  of  the 
Spirit  was  so  great  when  I  started  to  the  plat- 
form to  speak  that  I  could  scarcely  stand. 
I  did  not  know  a  word  I  was  going  to 
say,  but  the  message  came.  The  class 
leader  who  had  "prayed  through"  in  the 
morning  got  hold  of  God  in  prayer,  during 
which  the  Lord  gave  me  my  subject,  and  for 
about  forty  minutes  I  seemed  to  be  almost  out 
of  the  body.  It  is  needless  to  say  the  people 
trembled.  This  was  one  of  the  old  revival 
battle  grounds  in  Colorado  where  the  devil 
had  previously  made  great  fights  to  hold  his 
possessions.  There  were  many  powerful  con- 
versions during  this  meeting,  the  following 
being  among  them: 

Two  brothers  in  the  prime  of  life  were 
employed  in  a  mine.  Both  were  worldly  and 
drifting  away  from  the  influences  of  an  early 
Christian  home.  Their  father  had  died  in  the 
triumph  of  a  living  faith ;  their  mother,  still 
alive,  was  praying  for  them  across  the  sea. 

In  the  dismal  recesses  of  a  gold  mine, 
hundreds  of  feet  below  the  surface  of  the 
earth,  and  thousands  of  miles  from  their  boy- 
hood home,  these  brothers  worked,  unmindful 
of  that  sainted  father  and  praying  mother. 


REVIVAL   AT  BALD   MOUNTAIN       239 

An  awful  but  merciful  God  startled  them  from 
their  sinful  sleep.  A  large  rock  from  its  place 
in  the  wall  fell  upon  one  of  them,  crushing  the 
lower  part  of  his  body  and  breaking  his  back. 
The  uninjured  brother  stood  for  a  moment 
transfixed  with  horror,  powerless  to  remove 
the  three-ton  rock  that  had  pinned  him  to  the 
earth.  He  cried  out,  "Call  on  God!"  and  fled 
for  help.  Help  came,  the  rock  was  broken  in 
pieces  by  sledges,  and  the  man  liberated  alive, 
to  the  amazement  of  all. 

For  some  time  he  was  kept  under  the 
influence  of  a  powerful  opiate,  which  produced 
its  ghastly  effects.  There  he  lay  unconscious, 
his  breathing  labored  and  heavy,  unprepared 
to  meet  his  God.  Providence  spoke  to  people 
in  terrible  tones  as  they  looked  upon  the 
scene.  Those  who  were  under  conviction 
feared  and  trembled.  Even  the  unsaved 
prayed  for  his  salvation.  After  the  influence 
of  the  narcotic  had  worn  off,  my  husband  and 
I  went  to  see  him,  but  he  gave  us  no  encour- 
agement. He  sorely  tried  us  by  his  indiffer- 
ence. 'Too  late;  no  use  to  pray,"  he  would 
say.  He  finally  consented  to  our  offering  a 
short  prayer.  We  felt  the  forces  of  darkness 
opposing  us,  and  trying  to  drive  us  from  the 
room,  but  the  Spirit  held  us.  One  of  us 
bowed  in  prayer  while  the  other  besought  him 
to  look  to  Jesus  and  pray.  He  delayed,  but 


240       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

at  last  he  said,  '  'Lord,  be  merciful  to  me  a 
sinner." 

Instantly  mighty  ejaculations  of  prayer 
burst  forth  from  his  lips  so  earnestly  as  to  be 
startling.  What  a  revelation  God  immedi- 
ately gave  this  man  of  his  heart!  What  an 
uplift  from  indifference  to  earnestness!  Only 
for  a  brief  period  did  the  Savior  withhold  him- 
self, then  as  He  showed  His  face  in  the  power 
of  His  salvation,  the  poor  penitent  cried, 
4 'Blessed  Jesus!  Blessed  Jesus!  I  am  saved! 
I  am  saved!  I  am  saved!" 

Powerless  to  move  his  body,  he  turned 
his  eyes  to  his  brother  and  cried,  '  'Lord,  save 
my  brother,"  and  for  him  and  his  unsaved 
landlady  he  prayed  most  fervently.  He 
shouted  for  joy,  "Mother's  prayers  are  an- 
swered— my  father's  face,  with  tears  in  his 
eyes,  has  been  before  me  in  this  room,  as  he 
said,  'Son,  look  to  Jesus.' ' 

For  fifteen  days  he  preached,  prayed  and 
sung,  lying  on  his  back,  not  expecting  to  live 
from  one  day  to  another.  At  the  end  of  this 
time,  life,  that  had  apparently  left  his  body 
from  the  waist  down,  returned,  which  gave 
promise  of  an  extension  of  his  days,  but  in  a 
most  pitiable  condition. 

The  burden  that  was  upon  us  gave  us  the 
assurance  that  the  Spirit  had  not  left  the  dy- 
ing man.  A  mother's  and  father's  prayers 


EEVIYAL  AT  BALD   MOUNTAIN        241 

were  answered  in  his  being  spared  from  sud- 
den death,  and  in  our  being  held  at  his  bed- 
side until  the  benighted,  reluctant  soul  yielded 
to  Christ.  This  experience  made  us  weep  for 
joy.  Truly  the  salvation  of  Jesus  is  wonder- 
ful, yea,  glorious!  Let  angels  rejoice  and  let 
us  never  despair  of  a  soul. 

Three  and  a  half  years  later  the  pastor 
of  this  church  informed  us  that  James  Letcher, 
the  subject  of  this  sketch,  had  died  in  triumph. 
After  his  conversion  he  grew  in  grace  and  in 
the  knowledge  of  Christ,  manifesting  a  spirit 
of  submission  in  his  suffering,  to  the  end  of 
his  life. 

The  people  on  my  husband's  charge  were 
anxious  to  have  me  assist  him  in  a  revival 
meeting.  Three  times  I  attempted  to  do  so, 
but  bad  weather,  or  sickness  in  the  homes 
would  prevent  us  from  holding  the  meeting. 
The  Lord  had  so  wonderfully  blest  our  labors 
at  other  places,  they  supposed  we  would  have 
a  revival  here,  which  they  hoped  would  result 
in  a  new  church  building,  but  it  was  not  the 
Lord's  plan  for  us  to  build  up  the  Methodist 
Church  or  to  take  root  in  it  again.  He  had 
pulled  us  up  to  plant  us  in  another  field.  We 
thank  Him  for  doing  this,  even  though  He 
had  used  ungodly  men  in  bringing  it  about. 
Verily  He  had  made  the  wrath  of  man  to 
praise  Him  (Psa.  76:10). 


242        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

We  were  depending  upon  God  for  our 
temporal  supplies,  and  He  sent  them  to  us 
from  different  sources,  so  that  we  lacked 
nothing. 

As  to  our  future,  we  were  left  in  the 
dark,  until  three  weeks  before  the  Conference, 
when  my  husband  consented  to  give  up  the 
pastorate  so  that  he  might  give  his  entire 
time  to  evangelistic  and  missionary  work. 

One  morning  about  ten  o'clock,  while 
going  about  my  household  duties,  the  Holy 
Spirit  clearly  spoke  to  me,  telling  me  to  get 
my  Bible  and  open  it;  as  I  did  this  with  my 
eyes  closed  I  found  my  finger  on  Jeremiah 
1 19.  Before  reading  it  or  knowing  what  it 
was,  I  said,  ''Lord  put  forth  thy  hand." 
Then  I  opened  my  eyes  and  read,  "THEN 
THE  LORD  PUT  FORTH  HIS  HAND, 
and  touched  my  mouth.  And  the  Lord  said 
unto  me,  Behold,  I  have  put  my  words  in  thy 
mouth.  See,  I  have  this  day  set  thee  over 
the  nations  and  over  the  kingdoms,  to  root  out, 
and  to  pull  down,  and  to  destroy,  and  to  throw 
down,  to  build,  and  to  plant."  I  felt  strength 
coming  into  my  soul  that  lifted  me  as  it  were 
almost  out  of  the  body  into  the  very  presence 
of  the  invisible  God.  I  saw  clearly  that  to 
doubt  God  or  fear  the  face  of  man  would  be 
perilous,  since  He  had  promised  to  be  with 
me  and  supply  all  my  needs  according  to  His 


THE   LOED   LEADING  243 

riches  in  glory.  As  I  meditated  on  the  tenth 
verse  and  thought  of  my  own  weaknesses  and 
the  frailty  of  humanity  I  could  not  fully  com- 
prehend the  meaning  of  this  wonderful  mes- 
sage to  my  own  soul.  I  now  see  what  it  all 
meant.  As  I  have  stood  before  the  people 
from  time  to  time  in  the  power  of  the  Spirit, 
the  veil  that  separates  me  from  the  unseen 
world  has  appeared  to  be  very  thin.  There 
have  been  times  when  I  have  touched  God 
and  knew  the  heavenly  hosts  were  bending 
over  me,  because  of  His  words  which  He  had 
put  in  my  mouth.  Isaiah  55:11  says,  "So 
shall  my  word  be  that  goeth  forth  out  of  my 
mouth:  it  shall  not  return  unto  me  void,  but 
it  shall  accomplish  that  which  I  please,  and  it 
shall  prosper  in  the  thing  whereto  I  sent  it." 

My  husband  and  I  both  attended  the 
Annual  Conference  that  followed  this  experi- 
ence. He  had  already  decided  not  to  take  a 
pastorate,  but  go  with  me  into  evangelistic 
work,  and  God  wonderfully  blest  him  in  this 
decision.  He  spoke  to  me  as  plainly  as  He 
did  to  Abraham  when  He  called  him  out  of 
Ur  of  the  Chaldees  to  go  into  a  country  that 
he  knew  not.  He  promised  to  bless  them  that 
blest  him  and  curse  them  that  cursed  him. 

Our  ministerial  brethren  thought  it  the 
height  of  folly  for  my  husband  to  take  such  a 
step,  as  there  were  no  visible  means  of  support. 


244   LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BBULAH 

We  remained  at  Erie  nearly  a  year,  going 
from  there  into  the  evangelistic  field.  Our 
greatest  results  were  from  meetings  held  in 
school  houses  in  the  country  districts  where 
the  people's  hearts  were  not  so  hardened  as 
they  were  in  towns  and  cities. 

The  battle  against  holiness  was  still  being 
waged  at  Erie.  They  sent  the  pastor  away 
who  followed  us,  and  now  had  a  pastor  who 
was  a  Free  Mason,  and  were  exultant  over 
their  apparent  victory.  He  took  charge  of 
the  work  in  June,  and  on  the  9th  of  July 
dropped  dead  at  the  home  of  a  man  living  in 
the  country  who  had  been  converted  in  our 
meetings.  The  preacher's  name  was  White. 
Up  until  the  time  of  his  death  I  was  ignorant 
of  his  being  a  Free  Mason  and  first  learned 
this  fact  when  I  saw  the  Free  Masons  in 
charge  of  his  body.  Ten  days  preceding  his 
death  I  attended  a  prayer  meeting  at  the 
church.  An  unconverted  professor,  in  a  boast- 
ful spirit,  told  of  a  certain  meeting  where 
their  new  pastor  was  present.  He  claimed 
that  God  was  with  them.  I  supposed  it  was 
a  cottage  prayer  meeting,  and  it  was  not  until 
after  their  pastor  was  dead  that  I  learned  it 
was  a  lodge  meeting  and  that  the  remarks  of 
this  man  were  made  especially  for  my  benefit. 
He  wanted  me  to  know  that  their  new  pastor 
endorsed  lodges.  God  sent  his  judgments  on 


STILL  FIGHTING  HOLINESS  245 

the  church  by  suddenly  taking  this  man  out 
of  the  world.  There  was  a  much  better  spirit 
shown  at  the  country  church  on  this  charge, 
where  we  had  held  a  four  weeks'  meeting. 
The  brethren  at  this  place  made  a  request 
that  a  certain  brother  should  supply  the 
charge  who  believed  and  preached  the  doc- 
trine of  holiness.  As  the  presiding  elder  had 
no  one  else  to  send,  he  granted  their  request. 
When  the  preacher  arrived  he  said,  "Sister 
White,  the  holiness  fighters  on  this  charge 
will  keep  me  about  a  month."  He  prophesied 
truly,  for  at  the  end  of  the  month  they  dis- 
missed him. 

The  next  man  to  come  to  Erie  was   Rev. 

S ,  who  had  once  been   a   presiding   elder 

in  another  state.  In  talking  with  him  we 
could  tell  that  he  at  one  time  had  enjoyed  the 
experience  of  sanctification.  We  feared  for 
him  lest  he  should  compromise  when  brought 
face  to  face  with  the  opposition  to  holiness  on 
this  charge.  There  was  only  one  of  two 
things  for  him  to  do,  suffer  and  be  sacrificed,  or 
compromise  and  sell  out  the  cause  of  holiness. 
All  eyes  were  upon  him.  Would  he  lift  the 
banner  of  holiness  and  preach  a  full  Gospel 
regardless  of  the  consequences,  or  would  he 
compromise?  He  was  a  middle-aged  man 
with  a  bright  intellect  and  keen  discernment. 
In  conversation  with  him  we  saw  that  he  had 


246       LOOKING  BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

a  full  comprehension  of  the  situation,  over 
which  we  wept  and  prayed  together. 

After  attending  one  of  our  holiness 
conventions  he  confessed  to  us  that  he  had 
never  found  persons  who  were  straighter  in 
doctrine  or  who  had  suffered  greater  misrep- 
resentation. His  having  had  great  spiritual 
light  made  it  more  perilous  for  his  soul  if  he 
should  compromise.  Two  sisters,  one  of 
whom  had  a  special  burden  for  him,  went  to 
his  home,  and  in  a  spirit  of  love  gave  him  a 
solemn  warning.  At  first  he  appeared  to  treat 
their  visit  lightly,  but  afterward  in  conversa- 
tion with  them,  grew  serious  and  trembled. 
Immediately  following  their  visit  he  secured  a 
young  preacher  who  made  no  profession  of 
holiness,  to  assist  him  in  a  revival.  In  this 
meeting  Satan  came  to  him  with  the  argu- 
ment that  it  would  be  detrimental  to  young 
converts  to  preach  holiness  to  them.  He  and 
the  assisting  preacher  concluded  that  to 
preach  sanctification  would  be  giving  them 
strong  meat  when  they  were  not  ready  for  it, 
so  they  confined  their  preaching  to  the  justi- 
fied experience.  This  grieved  the  Spirit,  and 
the  meeting  soon  closed  with  no  one  con- 
verted. 

At  the  end  of  the  conference  year  the 
pastor  was  removed  from  the  charge  at  his 
own  request.  He  was  so  afflicted  in  body 


LONGMONT  MEETING  247 

that  he  died  a  few  weeks  later.  Before  his 
death,  however,  he  wrote  a  letter  to  my  hus- 
band and  myself,  requesting  our  prayers,  and 
asked,  if  it  were  possible,  for  one  or  both  of  us 
to  come  to  see  him.  He  also  stated  that  if 
we  could  not  come  to  send  one  of  the  sisters 
who  came  to  him  with  the  message  of  warn- 
ing a  few  months  before.  His  sad  ending  was 
the  awful  result  of  compromise.  He  died 
without  any  of  us  being  able  to  see  him. 

The  Lord  opened  the  way  for  me  to  hold 
a  meeting  at  Longmont,  a  town  of  about 
twelve  hundred  inhabitants,  eight  miles  from 
Erie.  The  churches  were  all  closed  against 
the  true  Gospel,  and  the  only  possible  open- 
ing for  a  meeting  was  to  secure  the  city  hall 
or  use  a  Gospel  tent.  In  the  latter  part  of 
July  (1895)  we  opened  the  meeting  in  a  tent. 

With  the  assistance  of  several  workers 
we  held  open-air  meetings  every  evening  pre- 
ceding the  services,  and  many  of  the  farmers 
who  came  into  the  town  on  business  hitched 
their  teams  and  waited  until  the  services  were 
over  before  returning  to  their  homes  at  night. 
Many  remarkable  incidents  could  be  related  in 
connection  with  this  meeting.  One  in  particu- 
lar we  might  mention.  On  a  Sabbath  evening 
the  presence  of  the  Spirit  was  powerfully  felt  in 
our  midst;  we  pleaded  with  a  number  of  young 
men  to  yield  to  God  at  once.  They  were 


248       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

under  great  conviction  but  did  not  yield. 
The  next  day  six  of  these  young  men  were 
badly  scalded  by  the  explosion  of  a  boiler  in 
a  canning  factory,  one  of  them  fatally.  He 
never  spoke  intelligently  after  the  accident, 
and  died  in  a  few  hours.  This  put  fear  on 
the  whole  city  and  souls  continued  to  get 
saved.  Hundreds  of  people  heard  the 
Gospel  preached  who  had  never  heard  it  be- 
fore, and  many  came  for  miles  to  attend  the 
services. 

Sunday  evenings  the  tent  was  always  full 
and  overflowing.  It  was  a  time  of  seed-sow- 
ing as  well  as  ingathering  of  souls.  There 
were  many  persons  who  were  convicted  in 
this  meeting  who  afterward  yielded  their 
hearts  to  God  and  were  converted  in  other 
places. 

The  sainted  Rebecca  Grant,  a  colored 
sister,  camped  on  the  ground,  and  with  her 
prayers,  songs  and  testimonies,  did  a  work 
for  God  that  eternity  alone  will  reveal.  She 
afterward  worked  in  our  missions  in  various 
places  where  there  were  pressing  calls  for  her. 
This  sister  was  known  for  her  faith  and  hu- 
mility. She  was  a  servant  of  servants  and 
never  complained  in  suffering,  but  gladly 
and  silently  endured  hardships  for  the  good 
of  others  and  for  the  cause  of  the  Christ  she 
loved.  She  was  given  to  much  fasting  and 


LONGMONT  MEETING  249 

prayer.  In  meetings  her  dark  face  would 
light  up  with  a  smile  and  she  would  speak 
with  great  unction  of  the  Spirit.  Some  of  her 
characteristic  remarks  were,  '  'Well,  children, 
de  blessed  Lawd  is  right  in  my  soul  dis 
mornin!  He  has  heard  my  prayers.  He 
pitied  dis  poah  ole  colored  woman  and  had 
mercy  on  her.  Glory  to  God !  Glory  to  God ! 
Oh,  children,  but  I  love  Him!  O,  glory!  O, 
glory!  He  will  never  get  rid  of  me!  I  am  all 
dressed  up  in  Jesus,  I  am  the  King's  daugh- 
ter; my  clothing  is  of  wrought  gold;  my  rai- 
ment of  needle  work."  With  great  delight 
she  would  call  Jesus  her  Ishi.  When  the 
people  were  testifying  in  the  services,  she 
would  shout  out,  '/Talk  about  Him,  children! 
Talk  about  Him!"  No  matter  how  indiffer- 
ent an  audience  might  be  to  some  speakers, 
unusual  interest  was  always  manifested  when 
she  spoke. 

Many  persons  in  trouble  sought  '  'Aunt 
Rebecca's"  little  home  on  the  outskirts  of  Den- 
ver, and  would  resort  to  her  tent  on  camp 
grounds,  where  God's  comforting,  saving  and 
sanctifying  power  came  down.  She  was  called 
to  Boulder  to  assist  in  a  revival  meeting. 
While  there  she  took  sick,  and  after  several 
days  of  great  suffering  God  called  her  home. 
She  was  fully  resigned  to  go,  and  often  said,  I 
am  ready,  please  Jesus,  take  me."  Hundreds 


250      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

of  people  attended  her  funeral,  where  the 
Spirit  of  God  was  manifested  in  shouts  of  vic- 
tory from  the  saints;  sinners  trembled  and 
turned  to  the  Savior. 

Our  camp  meeting  followed  at  Fort 
Collins.  There  were  perhaps  thirty-five  hun- 
dred people  on  the  grounds  the  last  Sabbath, 
who  heard  a  sermon  preached  on  the  '  Tor- 
ments of  Hell."  We  are  sure  they  had  never 
heard  anything  like  it  before.  Holiness  was 
truly  being  preached  on  new  territory  and  the 
people  often  asked  if  it  were  a  new  doctrine. 
Yet  there  was  no  lack  of  churches  and  preach- 
ers of  the  modern  class.  It  is  strange  that 
Methodists  will  oppose  the  very  doctrine  that 
Wesley  said  they  were  raised  up  to  preach. 
The  encampment  was  on  an  old  fair-ground 
about  one  and  one-half  miles  from  town. 
Large  numbers  of  people  attended  merely 
through  curiosity,  some  of  whom  were  con- 
victed and  converted  and  left  the  place  rejoic- 
ing. A  farmer  living  near  by  was  present 
several  evenings,  and  a  number  of  preachers 
and  missionaries  talked  to  him  about  his  soul. 
The  last  service  he  attended,  four  different 
persons  pleaded  with  him  to  yield  to  God,  but 
he  stoutly  resisted,  telling  them  he  did  not 
believe  in  hell,  claiming  to  be  an  honest  man, 
treating  his  neighbors  right,  and  so  forth.  He 
declared  he  would  stand  his  chances  with 


FT.    COLLINS    MEETING  251 

those  who  were  talking  to  him.  The  next 
morning  he  was  found  a  few  hundred  yards 
from  the  camp  ground  in  an  unconscious  con- 
dition. He  died  a  most  horrible  death  a  few 
days  later.  When  found,  his  face  was  bruised, 
but  no  one  was  able  to  ascertain  the  cause.  I 
visited  his  sick  room  in  company  with  a 
sister  who  had  spoken  to  him  about  his  soul 
the  night  before  the  accident.  We  tried  to 
pray,  but  our  mouths  were  closed.  We  knew 
that  demons  from  the  pit  were  in  possession 
of  his  soul,  and  so  strong  was  their  power  we 
left  him  to  his  fate.  It  was  too  late. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

BOX  ELDER,  BLACK  HOLLOW,  AND  OTHER 
REVIVALS 

TfROM  FT.  COLLINS  we  went  to  Box 
*••  Elder,  a  rich  farming  community,  to  hold 
a  meeting  in  a  school  house.  One  of  the  lead- 
ing men  of  the  neighborhood  brought  his  car- 
riage to  the  railroad  station  for  us  and  enter- 
tained us  for  a  time  in  his  home.  He  told  us 
he  had  attended  the  camp  meeting  for  the 
purpose  of  rinding  out  whether  people  who 
professed  holiness  had  anything  more  than  he 
had,  and  after  investigation,  he  said  that  he 
had  decided  that  they  had  not;  and  he  did 
not  profess  a  second  work  of  grace  either.  We 
saw  at  once  this  man  was  numbered  with 
thousands  of  others  who  were  deceived  and 
that  he  would  be  a  hindrance  to  the  meeting, 
and  to  his  own  family  of  grown-up  sons  and 
daughters. 

A  few  days  before  our  arrival  in  the 
neighborhood,  a  worldly  young  man,  engaged 
to  be  married  to  one  of  his  daughters,  was 
brought  to  his  home  from  the  harvest  field 
sick,  and  was  then  in  a  secluded  room  where 
in  accordance  with  his  own  wishes,  we  were 

252 


BOX   ELDER  253 

not  permitted  to  see  him.  He  said  he  did 
not  want  to  be  talked  to  about  his  soul. 
Finally  our  host,  who  was  somewhat  em- 
barrassed over  the  situation,  asked  us  to  come 
into  the  young  man's  room  for  prayers.  We 
went  and  found  him  morose  and  non-commit- 
tal. When  about  to  leave  the  room  I  was  im- 
pressed to  go  back  to  his  bedside  and  tell  him 
not  to  be  afraid  of  us,  that  we  would  not  force 
him  to  accept  salvation,  that  Jesus  himself 
would  not  do  this.  We  promised  also  not  to 
intrude  again  unless  he  made  a  request  to  see 
us.  I  believed  the  Lord  would  work  with 
him  as  well  as  with  the  young  woman  to 
whom  he  was  to  be  married,  who  appeared  as 
indifferent  as  himself. 

After  about  ten  days  the  break  came  in 
the  meetings  and  fully  thirty  persons  re- 
sponded to  the  altar  call.  The  messages  had 
been  given,  not  in  word  only,  but  in  the  power 
of  the  Spirit.  Three  days  later,  when  the 
smoke  of  the  battle  had  somewhat  cleared 
away,  the  thrilling  testimonies  and  shining 
faces  gave  evidence  that  a  genuine  work  had 
been  done  in  the  hearts  of  the  people.  Some 
persons  testified  to  sanctification,  when  our 
host  arose  and  began  to  talk  against  the  doc- 
trine and  the  experience.  It  was  like  throw- 
ing a  wet  blanket  over  a  flame.  This  was  the 
last  meeting  he  attended  for  some  time;  the 


_>:>!   LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

young  man  in  his  home  was  gradually  grow- 
ing worse  and  his  services  were  required  at  his 
bedside  and  we  were  glad  to  be  relieved  of  his 
presence. 

On  the  last  Sunday  afternoon  there  were 
thirty-five  seekers  at  the  altar,  some  of  whom 
had  never  been  there  before;  others  were 
new  converts  seeking  holiness.  The  meeting 
lasted  nearly  all  the  afternoon.  During  the 
three  weeks  we  spent  there,  about  seventy  per- 
sons were  converted.  A  number  of  whole 
families  sought  the  Lord,  and  found  Him. 

A  short  time  previous  to  this  one  of  these 
families  lost  three  children  in  a  lake  near  their 
home.  The  children  were  dressed  for  Sun- 
day-school, when  their  uncle,  with  another 
young  man,  a  friend  of  his,  drove  up  to  the 
gate.  These  young  men  insisted  that  the 
children  and  their  father  go  with  them  for  a 
boat  ride.  As  the  children  were  ready  for 
Sunday-school  the  father  hesitated,  but  finally 
consented  to  go.  When  the  boat  was  about 
ten  feet  from  the  shore  it  capsized  and  all 
were  thrown  into  the  water.  After  a  desper- 
ate struggle  the  father  escaped  with  the 
youngest  child  in  his  arms.  Three  children 
and  the  two  young  men  were  drowned.  It 
was  supposed  that  the  young  men's  feet 
caught  in  some  barb-wire  at  the  bottom  of  the 
lake.  When  the  father  gave  his  testimony, 


BOX   ELDER  255 

he  said,  that  before  this  occurrence,  when  he 
was  a  Christian,  and  while  living  close  to 
God,  he  had  always  prayed  that  if  he  should 
ever  backslide  that  the  Lord  would  be  merci- 
ful enough  to  bring  him  back  at  any  cost. 
With  great  emotion,  he  said,  '  'My  prayers 
have  been  answered,  but  at  an  awful  cost." 
His  wife,  grieving  for  her  children,  fell  away 
to  a  mere  skeleton.  Some  of  her  relatives, 
especially  a  sister,  severely  censured  her  hus- 
band for  not  rescuing  the  other  children.  This 
woman,  who  was  so  bold  as  to  charge  him  with 
their  death,  had  a  child  of  her  own  that  was 
in  the  habit  of  playing  about  the  door.  One 
day  it  was  missing,  and,  almost  frantic,  she 
began  to  search  for  it  and  found  it  drowned  in 
a  ditch  near  by.  In  her  failure  to  recognize 
the  hand  of  God  in  His  dealings  with  this 
family  a  like  punishment  fell  upon  herself. 

As  the  young  man  was  growing  worse, 
we  relieved  the  family  of  our  entertainment, 
and  when  we  left  I  knew  that  if  he  ever  re- 
covered it  would  be  a  narrow  escape,  and  I 
also  knew  that  he  would  send  for  us  before 
any  crisis  came.  A  few  days  later  he  sent  for 
us  to  come  back  to  pray  for  him.  As  he 
extended  his  hand  he  said,  '  'Everything  is 
against  me;  I  might  as  well  give  up.  Please 
pray  forme."  We  prayed  earnestly  to  God 
in  his  behalf  and  in  less  than  three-quar- 


256       LOOKING    BACK  FEOM    BEULAH 

ters  of  an  hour  he  was  gloriously  converted, 
after  which  he  begged  his  betrothed  to  give 
her  heart  to  God  also.  On  this  day,  several 
hundred  miles  away,  there  was  a  shout  of 
victory  in  his  old  home,  where  his  mother 
and  friends  were  wrestling  with  God  for  his 
salvation.  He  lived  only  a  few  days  after  his 
conversion,  and  just  before  he  passed  away  he 
asked  those  at  his  bedside  to  sing,  "Jesus 
Lover  of  my  Soul. " 

This  young  man  had  great  influence  over 
the  young  people  of  the  community,  and  we 
have  no  doubt  that  if  he  had  not  been  on  a 
sick  bed  he  would  have  kept  many  of  them 
from  yielding  their  hearts  to  God.  Soon  after 
his  death,  the  mother  and  two  daughters  in 
this  home,  were  stricken  down  with  the  same 
disease  with  which  he  died.  The  mother  lived 
for  six  weeks  after  the  close  of  our  meeting. 
Later,  we  visited  the  neighborhood  and  held  a 
few  services,  and  found  the  young  woman  had 
not  yet  fully  recovered.  The  one  to  whom 
the  young  man  had  been  engaged  had  lost  her 
hair  and  was  a  pitiful  looking  object;  through 
her  long  siege  of  sickness  she  was  so  weak  she 
staggered  as  she  walked  across  the  room. 

The  man  with  the  Zinzendorfian  idea  of 
* 'getting  it  all  at  conversion"  made  up  his 
mind  from  the  start  to  fight  holiness,  and  God 
broke  his  arm  of  strength  and  made  him  the  ex- 


BOX  ELDEE  257 

ample  of  His  wrath  against  those  who  are  guilty 
of  this  sin.  He  knows  how  to  deal  with  those 
who  lift  their  puny  arms  of  rebellion  against 
Him.  '  It  is  a  fearful  thing  to  fall  into  the 
hands  of  the  living  God." 

The  following  is  a  copy  of  the  letter  writ- 
ten by  the  mother  of  the  young  man  who 
died: 


DARLING  BOY:  —  I  was  glad  to  hear 
from  you,  but  sorry  to  hear  of  your  sickness. 
Hope  you  are  better.  We  greatly  rejoice  to 
learn  that  you  have  enlisted  as  a  soldier  for 
Jesus.  It  may  sound  strange  to  you,  but  I 
was  not  very  much  surprised. 

1  The  8th,  the  same  day  you  were  con- 
verted, Bro.  and  Sister  S—  were  here 
when  we  were  having  worship.  Sister  S— 
prayed  for  you,  and  of  course  I  was  praying, 
for  I  was  feeling  very  bad.  I  stayed  on  my 
knees  quite  a  while  after  the  rest  got  up,  and 
the  Lord  wonderfully  blest  me;  I  could  hardly 
tell  just  what  it  was  for,  but  I  knew  that 
you  would  be  saved  and  the  angels  were  re- 
joicing over  a  sinner's  coming  to  God,  and  my 
heart  was  filled  with  joy  and  gratitude. 

"Last  night,  after  hearing  of  your  con- 
version, I  rejoiced,  and  praised  God  nearly  all 
night.  Bless  His  name!  Now  Charlie,  be 
true.  It  is  so  hard  to  have  you  sick  away 

9 


258       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

from  home,  and  Mother  sometimes  thinks  she 
can't  stay  away  from  her  boy.  With  many 
kisses  to  my  darling.  Good-bye." 

YOUR  MOTHER. 

Then  the  father  enclosed  a  letter  express- 
ing his  gratitude  because  his  son  had  been 
converted,  and  exhorted  him  to  be  faithful. 

To-day  the  peaks  of  the  Rocky  Moun- 
tains stand  on  the  West  above  his  grave,  as 
white-robed  sentinels,  and  will  guard  the 
resting  place  of  the  sleeper  until  the  Christ 
of  the  resurrection  comes  in  the  East  and  re- 
leases them  of  their  vigil. 

One  evening  in  meeting,  at  this  place,  as 
I  prayed,  the  Spirit  came  upon  me  in  mighty 
power.  A  man  came  and  asked  us  to  visit 
him  at  his  home  several  miles  away,  and  said 
he  could  not  understand  why  we  should  be 
working  as  we  were  and  making  such  sacri- 
fices if  there  were  nothing  in  religion.  He 
claimed  to  be  an  infidel,  and  we  found  he  was 
living  in  a  nest  of  them  in  his  part  of  the  com- 
munity. He  told  us  his  father  was  a  preacher, 
that  he  had  belonged  to  the  Presbyterian 
church  himself,  but  found  nothing  in  religion 
and  withdrew  from  the  church.  We  went  to 
see  him  the  next  day.  We  told  him  we  did 
not  come  to  go  over  the  ground  of  infidelity 
with  him,  as  he  desired  us  to,  but  would 


BOX   ELDER  259 

say  to  him  that  if  he  would  seek  God 
with  all  his  heart,  He  would  be  found  of  him 
(Jer.  29:13).  He  said  he  had  no  faith,  that 
he  could  not  believe,  etc.  He  was  told  just 
to  seek  God,  to  be  honest  about  it,  not  to  be 
ashamed  to  make  a  public  effort,  and  to  begin 
to  pray.  He  was  held  to  this,  and  that  night, 
after  being  talked  to  personally,  he  went 
forward  to  the  altar.  He  showed  no  signs  of 
feeling  or  conviction,  and  was  cold  and  appar- 
ently indifferent,  but  he  said  he  would  go  for- 
ward on  our  word  as  an  honest  man  desiring 
the  truth.  After  he  had  knelt  a  few  minutes 
at  the  altar,  he  rose,  turned  to  the  audience* 
and  said:  "I  have  ten  times  the  faith  I  had 
when  I  came  here,"  and  business-like  he  knelt 
and  continued  to  pray.  We  found  him  the 
next  day  under  such  great  conviction  that  he 
had  quit  work.  We  knelt  and  prayed  with 
him  in  his  home.  In  his  effort  to  pray 
aloud  he  threw  up  his  hands  and  began  to 
laugh.  The  Spirit  of  God  had  touched  him 
and  he  was  a  new  creature.  This  was  about 
the  middle  of  the  week.  The  next  Sunday 
he  rose  in  the  "Amen  corner"  of  the  building, 
weeping,  and  said,  *  'I  did  not  know  that  God 
Almighty  had  such  a  blessing  for  a  human 
being  as  I  received  the  past  week."  Then 
he  told  about  his  conversion.  This  brother 
soon  began  to  preach  the  Gospel. 


260       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

After  returning  home  to  rest  a  few  days, 
we  went  back  to  commence  a  meeting  in  an 
adjoining  neighborhood.  It  was  in  one  corner 
of  the  famous  potato  district.  On  nearly 
every  farm  men  and  women  were  working 
early  and  late.  There  were  only  a  few  persons 
present  at  the  first  two  services.  My  husband 
became  discouraged  over  the  outlook  and  said 
we  would  better  close  the  meeting  and  come 
at  another  time.  I  had  evidence  of  great 
victory  for  the  meeting  before  leaving  home, 
and  was  positive  that  God  had  led  us  thus 
far.  Believing  the  Spirit  would  be  grieved  by 
giving  up  without  further  trial,  I  wanted  to 
stay  until  it  was  clear  that  the  Lord  was 
through  with  us;  and  my  husband  consented 
to  stay. 

One  afternoon,  after  school  hours,  we 
were  driving  past  the  school  house  and  went 
in  where  we  could  be  alone  to  pray.  We  had 
been  driving  in  the  cold  winds  and  sleeping  in 
cold  rooms,  and  I  had  taken  a  severe  cold. 
While  on  my  knees  I  had  a  hard  chill  which 
was  followed  by  a  fever,  and  I  was  unable  to 
attend  service  that  night.  By  the  next  morn- 
ing all  the  symptoms  of  pneumonia  were  de- 
veloped. My  husband  and  the  family  where 
we  were  being  entertained  said  that  a  physician 
must  be  called,  to  which  my  consent  was  not 
given. 


BLACK    HOLLOW  EEYIYAL  261 

Our  hostess  had  become  so  interested  in 
the  subject  of  sanctification  that  she  persisted 
in  asking  me  questions  about  it,  even  when  I 
was  suffering  the  most.  She  and  her  husband 
had  been  Christians  for  years  but  had  never 
heard  this  doctrine  preached  before.  The 
pain  in  my  body  became  so  great  that  I 
cried  aloud.  My  husband  told  the  family 
in  an  adjoining  room  that  I  had  been  healed 
several  times  before  in  answer  to  prayer,  and 
asked  them  to  come  in  and  unite  in  prayer 
for  me.  He  poured  out  his  soul  to  God  for 
my  healing,  but  our  hostess,  instead  of  pray- 
ing for  me  cried  to  the  Lord  to  sanctify  her. 
At  the  close  of  her  prayer  the  Holy  Spirit 
came  mightily  upon  me,  and  lifting  my  head 
from  the  pillow  I  prayed,  not  only  for  her  sanc- 
tification, but  for  the  salvation  of  the  whole 
community.  The  pain  all  left  me  and  the 
perspiration  stood  on  my  forehead.  No  one 
could  doubt  that  I  had  been  healed.  Some 
time  during  the  following  night  the  sister  re- 
ceived the  witness  to  her  sanctification,  and 
the  next  morninig  her  face  fairly  shone  as  she 
prayed  earnestly  for  her  family  and  others. 
Her  daughters  began  to  pray,  "O  Godt  give 
me  what  mother's  got;  give  me  what  mother's 
got!"  The  eldest  daughter  soon  received 
"the  blessing." 

The  news  went  forth  the  next  day  that   I 


262       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BEULAH 

was  healed  and  would  be  at  the  meeting  that 
night.  The  house  was  full  to  overflowing. 
The  power  of  the  Spirit  was  in  the  word 
spoken.  When  the  altar  call  was  made,  a 
son-in-law  of  the  family  with  whom  we  were 
stopping,  sitting  in  a  back  seat,  cried  out,  *  'I 
can't  stand  it  any  longer, "  and  started  for  the 
altar.  He  had  gone  only  a  few  steps  when 
his  soul  was  liberated  and  he  shouted  for  joy. 
The  people  had  never  seen  anything  like  this, 
and  through  curiosity  the  potato  diggers  left 
their  fields  to  come  to  the  services.  The  re- 
vival swept  on  until  the  card  parties  and  danc- 
ing circles  were  broken  up. 

While  bowing  at  the  family  altar  one 
morning,  we  were  trying  to  lead  another  of 
the  daughters  of  the  above-named  family  into 
the  experience  of  holiness  by  telling  her  to 
* 'reckon  herself  dead  indeed  unto  sin"  (Rom. 
6:11).  The  father  apparently  had  been  doing 
a  great  deal  of  thinking,  but  was  very  quiet 
until  this  time.  As  the  steps  of  consecration 
were  being  taken,  not  a  word  was  said  to  him, 
when  he  cried  out,  "I  see  it,  I  see  it!"  He 
sprang  into  the  air  with  a  shout  that  startled 
all  from  their  knees;  he  caught  the  baby  in 
his  arms  and  tossed  it  to  the  ceiling,  saying, 
"I  never  loved  you  as  I  do  now, "  then  hugged 
and  kissed  the  whole  family.  Since  then  his 
shouts  and  testimonies  have  often  been  heard 


BLACK   HOLLOW    EEVIYAL  263 

and  enjoyed  at  the  annual  camp  meetings. 
An  elderly  man  who  had  been  in  a  back- 
slidden state  for  many  years,  lived  near.  He 
avoided  any  conversation  about  his  soul,  but 
was  very  talkative  on  other  subjects.  We 
had  never  seen  a  greater  slave  to  tobacco  than 
he  was.  He  was  hedged  in  until  there  was 
apparently  no  way  to  get  to  him,  and  I  be- 
came so  burdened  for  his  soul  one  night  that  I 
could  not  sleep.  His  white  head  and  face 
were  continually  before  me.  We  went  to  his 
house  the  second  time  and  succeeded  in  get- 
ting him  on  his  knees.  At  first  he  would  not 
pray,  but  after  much  solicitation  he  called  on 
God  to  have  mercy  upon  him.  The  Spirit 
interceded  with  groanings  that  could  not  be 
uttered,  and  presently  his  prayer  was  turned 
to  praise.  He  sang, 

a  'Tis  done,  the  great  transaction's  done; 
I  am  my  Lord's  and  He  is  mine." 

The  work  went  on  in  this  community 
after  the  revival  closed.  A  week  or  two  later, 
a  man,  who  was  considered  one  of  the  hardest 
sinners  in  the  neighborhood,  was  converted 
while  riding  along  the  road.  True  to  our 
word  we  remained  at  this  place  just  three 
weeks,  and  closed  after  seeing  many  old-time 
conversions  and  a  few  people  clearly  sancti- 
fied. It  is  a  notable  fact  that  work  done  in 


264       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

country  schoolhouses  and  out-of-the-way 
places  always  stands  better  than  where  there 
are  old  church-wolves  to  devour  the  lambs. 

After  this  meeting  closed  my  husband 
held  revival  meetings  at  Windsor,  and  I  went 
to  assist  my  brother  in  special  services  at  Hoi- 
yoke,  Colorado,  where  he  was  then  pastor. 
The  following  is  a  brief  report  he  gave  of  the 
meeting: 

"The  Lord  has  been  pouring  out  His 
Spirit  on  our  people  in  great  measure.  The 
entire  community  has  been  stirred  as  never 
before  in  its  history.  Sinners  have  been  con- 
verted, believers  sanctified  and  the  church 
lifted  out  of  the  ruts.  Special  services  began 
Nov.  1 6th  and  closed  after  three  weeks  of 
hard  labor.  Mrs.  White  preached  under  the 
power  of  the  Spirit,  and  the  altar  was  crowded 
with  seekers  from  night  to  night.  It  afforded 
us  much  joy  when  all  classes  were  seen  com- 
ing forward  with  one  accord  and  calling  upon 
God  for  salvation.  The  church  was  filled 
every  evening  with  eager  listeners.  Some 
of  the  principal  business  and  professional  men 
were  reached  and  saved.  Prodigals  who  had 
been  away  from  their  father's  house  for  many 
years  came  back  and  received  the  kiss  of  rec- 
onciliation. It  was  wonderful  to  see  the 
shining  faces  and  hear  the  thrilling  testimo- 


HOLYOKE  265 

nies.  Envy  and  strife  have  given  place  to  di- 
vine love  in  the  hearts  of  certain  individuals. 
Family  altars  have  been  erected. 

'  'A  few  months  ago  there  was  much  op- 
position to  the  doctrine  of  holiness,  but  con- 
stant teaching  under  the  guidance  of  the 
Spirit  has  swept  away  much  of  it,  and  now 
living  testimonies  form  an  argument  which 
opposers  can  neither  gainsay  nor  resist.  The 
people  are  hungry  for  holiness  literature.  One 
young  man  who  came  home  from  college  on 
his  vacation  was  convicted  of  sin  and  has  since 
dedicated  his  life  to  the  ministry."  c.  w.  B. 

I  reached  home  for  Christmas.  Within 
three  months  there  had  been  four  meetings 
held  resulting  in  over  two  hundred  conver- 
sions. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

THE     OPENING     OF     THE     PENTECOSTAL     MISSION 


MEETINGS  had  been  held  in 
schoolhouses,  after  which  the  Lord  led 
me  to  Denver  for  a  short  stay.  As  was  my 
custom,  I  attended  the  Hay  Market  Mission, 
where  the  doctrine  of  sanctification  for  a  time 
was  honored  and  preached.  But  there  had 
come  a  marvelous  change;  those  who  once 
had  liberty  in  preaching  holiness  and  testify- 
ing to  the  experience  were  now  held  back  by 
the  Rev.  A.  C.  Peck,  the  superintendent  of  the 
mission.  Mr.  Peck  noticed  me  in  the  congre- 
gation and  invited  me  to  return  and  preach  the 
next  evening.  On  the  following  morning  I 
awoke  with  Acts  19:2  on  my  lips:  "Have  ye 
received  the  Holy  Ghost  since  }re  believed?" 
I  was  so  burdened  that  day  I  was  unfit  for  any 
other  work.  The  doctrine  of  sanctification 
as  a  second  work  of  grace,  and  the  importance 
of  definite  testimony  to  the  experience  burned 
like  a  fire  in  my  breast.  I  knew  something 
was  coming  for  I  fairly  trembled  all  day.  My 
soul  was  suffering  the  real  birth-pangs  of  a 
new  work,  or  movement. 

I  reached  the  mission   hall   a   little   early 


OPENING  IN    DENYEE  267 

and  walked  back  to  Sixteenth  street  and 
around  a  block.  I  could  see  the  steepled 
churches  in  every  direction,  which  reminded 
me  of  broken  cisterns  that  could  hold  no 
water.  I  asked  the  Lord  to  open  up  a  well 
of  salvation  in  the  heart  of  the  city  where  fam- 
ishing multitudes  might  quench  their  thirst. 
On  returning  to  the  mission  I  found  the  peo- 
ple had  gathered.  The  superintendent  beck- 
oned me  to  the  platform.  After  reading  the 
scripture  lesson  from  which  I  took  my  text,  I 
had  a  slight  struggle  for  liberty,  then  my  soul 
broke  through  and  the  people  shouted  and 
said  amen.  The  sword  of  truth  was  un- 
sheathed, and  forty  minutes  quickly  passed. 
When  an  altar  call  was  made  there  was  a  rush 
in  two  directions — some  to  the  front  and 
others  to  the  door.  The  assistant  pastor 
stood  near  the  door  to  try  to  comfort  those 
whose  idols  had  been  struck  and  who  were 
chafing  under  the  truth.  The  leader  of  the 
mission  looked  like  a  pouting  child. 

Soon  there  were  shouts  of  deliverance 
from  penitents  at  the  altar.  A  Presbyterian 
minister  in  the  congregation  shook  hands  with 
me  and  said,  "God  bless  you;  preach  on;  it  is 
the  truth,  if  we  are  slow  to  receive  it." 

The  leader  said  he  did  not  wish  to  criti- 
cize me,  but  he  did  not  think  it  necessary  to 
use  the  word  sanctification ,  as  it  aroused  so 


268        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

much  opposition.  He  said  there  were  other 
terms  that  could  be  used  which  would  not 
cause  offense;  that  some  of  the  holiness  peo- 
ple in  New  York  had  learned  this,  and  he  had 
been  among  them  and  found  it  was  more  prof- 
itable to  talk  about  the  '  'infilling  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,"  than  to  use  the  term  sanctification. 
It  did  not  take  much  spiritual  discernment  to 
see  the  cloven  hoof  of  the  devil  in  this  argu- 
ment, and  I  knew  that  God  would  bring  this 
man  to  time  speedily  or  open  up  another 
place  in  the  city  where  the  Gospel  would  be 
preached  fearless  of  men  and  devils. 

I  did  not  know  until  several  weeks  later 
that  I  was  on  trial  in  this  service  and  that  the 
superintendent  had  invited  me  to  preach  with 
the  express  purpose  of  finding  out  whether  he 
could  tone  me  down  or  not  and  use  me  as  a 
tool  to  carry  out  his  plans  of  compromise.  He 
was  intending  to  employ  my  husband  and 
myself  as  assistants  in  his  work.  But  when 
he  found  out  he  could  not  induce  me  to  lower 
the  standard  and  sell  out  the  cause  of  holiness, 
he  did  not  care  to  have  us,  and  God  wrote 
"Ichabod"  on  the  escutcheon  of  his  door,  and 
from  that  time  he  was  no  longer  a  factor  in 
true  Gospel  work.  Two  years  before,  Psalm 
121 :8  was  given  me:  "The  Lord  shall  pre- 
serve thy  going  out  and  thy  coming  in  from 
this  time  forth  and  even  forever  more."  We 


OPENING  IN  DENVEB  269 

were  at  this  time  without  any  visible  means 
of  support,  and  to  move  into  the  city  where 
the  cost  of  living  would  be  increased,  would 
be  quite  an  additional  step  of  faith.  It  meant 
to  more  than  double  our  general  expenses.  I 
had  the  clear  light  that  God  wanted  us  to  go, 
and  this  was  evidence  that  He  would  take 
care  of  us  and  supply  our  every  need.  My 
husband  drew  back,  from  the  fact  that  he  was 
unable  to  see  his  way  through,  but  finally  con- 
sented, when  he  saw  I  was  settled  in  my  con- 
victions, and  began  to  make  preparations  to 
move.  He  thought  it  would  take  two  or 
three  days  or  a  week  to  find  a  suitable  house. 
When  he  spoke  of  this,  I  asked  the  Lord  to 
direct  us  to  the  very  spot,  that  the  first  house 
shown  us  might  be  the  place.  He  gave  me 
the  assurance  that  He  would  grant  my  request. 
I  went  to  the  city  two  days  before  my  hus- 
band, and  on  starting  twice  to  the  rental  offices 
I  was  consciously  stopped  by  the  Spirit  and 
given  to  understand  that  I  must  wait  until 
our  goods  had  arrived.  Later,  accompanied 
by  Mr.  White,  I  started  out  one  morning  to 
find  a  house,  and  found  one  that  was  suit- 
able which  had  a  large  yard,  with  the  rear  gate 
opening  into  Lincoln  Park.  My  husband  had 
remarked  several  times  that  he  dreaded  to  be 
cooped  up  between  houses  without  room 
enough,  and  now  we  had  found  a  place  with 


270       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM    BEULAH 

plenty  of  room,  with  large  double  parlors, — 
just  the  place  for  a  weekly  holiness  meeting. 
When  I  thought  of  the  meeting  the  blessing 
of  God  came  upon  my  soul  and  I  said,  "This 
is  the  place."  At  first  we  thought  of  nothing 
but  the  rent,  which  was  a  third  more  than  we 
expected  to  pay,  and  how  to  manage  this, 
with  the  extra  expense  of  living,  we  did  not 
know.  Making  a  final  test,  we  asked  the 
Lord  that  the  rent  might  be  reduced  if  it  was 
His  will  that  we  take  this  house.  It  was  se- 
cured for  one  dollar  less,  and  in  a  few  hours 
our  household  goods  were  transferred  by  a 
brother  free  of  charge.  The  railroad  company 
made  a  mistake  in  weighing  the  car  in  which 
our  goods  were  shipped,  and  the  freight  bill 
was  small.  When  their  attention  was  called  to 
the  mistake  they  said  it  was  too  late  to  correct 
it,  and  said,  good  humoredly,  that  it  was  our 
gain  and  their  loss.  God's  hand  was  in  all  of 
these  little  things — in  the  moving,  and  in  the 
first  house  shown  us  with  its  arrangements  and 
surroundings.  The  knowledge  of  this  gave  us 
courage  and  strength  for  the  work  ahead  of  us. 
Two  weeks  after  we  were  settled,  Thurs- 
day afternoon  holiness  meetings  were  started 
in  our  home,  which  was  like  an  oasis  in  a  des- 
ert. From  time  to  time  there  were  conver- 
sions, sanctifications,*  and  many  remarkable 
cases  of  healing  in  these  meetings.  Some  of 


OPENING   IN   DENVEB  271 

the  regular  attendants  have  passed  away  with 
triumphant  faith.  Meetings  held  on  holidays 
were  special  seasons  of  refreshing. 

A  place  was  opened  for  Sunday  afternoon 
holiness  meetings  near  the  center  of  the  city, 
in  a  side  room  of  the  building  in  which  the 
Hay  Market  Mission  was  conducted.  We  had 
met  there  only  a  few  times,  however,  when 
the  superintendent  of  the  mission  sent  us  word 
to  find  another  place.  His  excuse  was  that 
he  wanted  his  people  to  rest  on  Sunday  after- 
noons in  order  to  be  ready  for  the  night  serv- 
ices. At  the  last  service  we  held  in  this  room 
a  large  new  Gospel  tent  was  offered  for  our 
work .  The  next  thing  was  to  find  a  suitable 
location  for  it  near  the  center  of  the  city  where 
services  could  be  preceded  by  open  air-meet- 
ings. We  were  led  definitely  to  the  house  we 
occupied,  and  I  believed  the  Holy  Spirit  would 
direct  to  the  spot  where  the  tabernacle  was  to 
be  erected.  While  waiting  upon  God  I  asked 
my  husband  to  go  to  Twentieth  and  Arapahoe 
streets  to  see  if  there  were  not  some  vacant 
lots  in  that  vicinity.  Here  they  were  found 
less  than  half  a  block  from  the  street  car  line. 
This  ground  was  secured  free  of  charge  and 
soon  the  tent  was  in  readiness  for  the  first 
meeting,  which  was  held  June  i6th,  1896. 

From  night  to  night  the  attendance  in- 
creased and  the  altars  were  filled  with  seekers. 


272       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

Hard-hearted  men  and  women  wept  and 
prayed  for  deliverance  from  sin,  and  when  it 
came  they  would  shout  uproariously.  We 
soon  had  help  enough  to  conduct  two  meet- 
ings. The  business  men  of  the  city  were 
often  put  under  conviction  for  their  own 
wrong  business  transactions  by  persons  from 
our  services  calling  upon  them  to  make  resti- 
tution. In  every  case  those  who  were  trying 
to  get  right  with  God  were  received  kindly 
and  forgiven  by  those  whom  they  had  wronged. 
At  Lincoln  Park  great  multitudes  gath- 
ered on  Sunday.  We  could  see  them  from 
our  back  door.  We  very  much  desired  to 
preach  to  the  people  in  this  park  if  the  way 
could  be  opened.  With  a  real  burden  I 
asked  my  husband  to  see  the  park  commis- 
sioners and  find  out  if  permission  could  be  ob- 
tained to  hold  religious  services  there.  The 
hand  of  God  was  upon  me  as  I  urged  him  to 
go  at  once  to  see  these  men,  but  he  said  he 
knew  a  city  ordinance  had  been  passed  pro- 
hibiting religious  services  from  being  held  in  the 
parks,  and  knew  it  was  useless  to  make  an 
effort  of  the  kind.  I  went  away  alone  to  pray, 
and  returned  with  a  much  greater  burden. 
Seeing  my  tears  he  consented  to  go  and  see 
the  commissioners,  even  though  he  ielt  satis- 
fied nothing  could  be  accomplished.  I  went 
with  him  and  it  proved  just  as  he  had  said, — 


f'1 


OPENING  IN    DENVEB  273 

nothing  could  be  done.  As  we  walked  along 
the  street  he  said,  ' 'Where  next?"  I  told 
him  I  would  go  up  to  our  Gospel  tent  and  fur- 
ther wait  upon  the  Lord.  I  had  gone  only  a 
few  steps  when  a  person  spoke  to  me.  I  was 
wondering  what  this  peculiar  burden  meant 
and  could  scarcely  collect  my  thoughts  long 
enough  to  see  where  the  voice  came  from.  At 
this  instant  a  brother  whom  I  had  met  two 
years  before  at  our  camp  meeting,  approached 
me.  He  made  some  inquiries  about  the  suc- 
cess of  our  meetings  and  said  he  had  just  rented 
a  building  near  Seventeenth  and  Market  streets 
for  his  business,  and  that  he  did  not  need  the 
second  floor  and  would  be  glad  if  we  would 
open  up  a  mission  there.  Still  absorbed,  I 
did  not  catch  his  words  until  he  repeated 
them.  I  told  him  that  when  cold  weather  came 
on,  and  we  could  not  use  our  tabernacle,  we 
would  need  such  a  place.  He  said,  ' It  is  only 
a  few  weeks  until  the  cold  weather  will  be 
here,  and  why  not  take  this  now?"  I  told 
him  we  could  not  pay  the  rent.  '  'Never  mind 
about  that, "  he  said,  "I  will  take  the  Lord 
for  it."  Then  it  flashed  upon  me  that  this 
was  the  explanation  of  my  burden. 

The  place  was  taken  and  seated  with 
benches  made  of  plain  lumber.  Sister  Vorn 
Holtz,  a  lady  seventy-four  years  old,  whom 
God  had  greatly  used  and  blest  in  revival 


274       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

work,  assisted  by  some  of  our  workers  from 
the  tent,  was  put  in  charge  at  this  hall.  Pre- 
vious to  this,  this  place  was  known  as  the  old 
'  'Buckeye  Gambling  Hall, "  now  it  became  a 
"Perne!"  of  prevailing  prayer,  and  in  seven 
weeks'  time  there  were  two  hundred  and  twenty- 
five  persons  who  professed  salvation  at  the 
altar.  The  services  at  both  the  tent  and  this 
place  were  preceded  by  street  meetings. 
Thousands  of  people  heard  the  Gospel  in  the 
open  air;  all  classes,  as  they  rushed  to  and  fro, 
stopped  to  listen.  Many  who  followed  the 
workers  to  the  hall  and  to  the  tent  would  fall 
on  their  knees  at  the  altars  before  any  preach- 
ing was  done  more  than  they  had  heard  on 
the  street. 

Afternoon  prayer  meetings  were  held 
daily,  and  especially  were  the  open-air  meet- 
ings blest  of  the  Lord.  The  workers  fairly 
trembled  under  the  pressure  of  the  Spirit,  as 
they  stood  before  the  people  with  burning 
messages.  The  holy  anointing  would  come 
upon  me  until  I  felt  like  running  through  a 
troop  and  leaping  over  a  wall.  Opposition,  only 
made  me  stronger;  the  Son  had  made  me 
free  and  I  had  liberty  beyond  words  to  ex- 
press. This  freedom  had  cost  me  everything 
— my  church,  my  reputation,  my  all. 

One  evening  when  I  left  home  with  two 
or  three  persons  to  hold  an  open-air  meeting 


OPENING  IN    DENYEB  275 

on  the  corner  of  Sixteenth  and  Larimer 
streets,  I  was  told  that  we  needed  five  dollars' 
worth  of  groceries .  My  husband  was  away 
from  home  and  I  had  less  than  fifty  cents.  A 
large  company  gathered  and  the  message  was 
given  with  power.  Tears  were  in  the  eyes  of 
many,  while  others  were  indignant.  Two  or 
three  drunken  men,  staggering  through  the 
crowd  made  a  disturbance.  A  conflict  with 
the  powers  of  darkness  was  on,  but  as  the 
Word  went  forth,  the  audience  quieted  down. 
A  man  on  whose  face  sin  had  left  its  traces, 
placed  a  five- dollar  bill  in  my  hand  and  said, 
"Pray  for  me. "  Another  handed  me  a  dollar; 
and  still  others,  smaller  sums.  We  seldom 
take  collections  on  the  street  and  had  said 
nothing  about  money.  Before  closing,  eleven 
men  raised  their  hands  for  prayer.  At  this 
time  we  were  without  a  hall,  and  this  meeting 
ran  for  two  hours. 

Again,  when  holding  a  meeting  on  the 
same  corner,  it  was  sprinkling  rain  and  less 
than  a  dozen  persons  stopped.  While  differ- 
ent workers  were  speaking,  the  enemy  mocked. 
We  were  on  the  point  of  giving  up  the  meet- 
ing and  returning  to  the  mission  hall,  when  I 
was  impressed  by  the  Spirit  to  speak  a  few 
words.  The  first  sentence  was  scarcely  ut- 
tered when  the  Holy  Ghost  fell  upon  me  in 
unusual  power;  it  was  like  a  shock  from  the 


276        LOOKING   BACK   FEOM    BEULAH 

heavenly  battery.  The  people  came  from 
every  direction,  some  of  them  running,  and 
soon  a  multitude  was  enmassed  about  us.  After 
preaching  forty  minutes  a  song  was  sung  and  a 
part  of  the  audience  moved  on,  giving  place 
to  others.  The  Holy  Spirit  then  gave  me 
another  message,  half  an  hour  long.  More 
than  a  thousand  people  heard  the  Gospel  on 
the  street  that  evening  after  we  had  been  on 
the  point  of  giving  up  the  meeting  as  a  failure. 
At  another  time,  after  our  congregation 
had  gathered,  an  old  man  who  held  spite 
against  me,  took  a  stand  a  few  feet  from  us 
and  began  to  talk.  Confusion  of  course  fol- 
lowed, and  the  people  kept  running  back  and 
forth  to  hear  what  was  said.  No  officer  was 
in  sight  and  soon  the  street  was  blocked 
with  people — they  were  pressing  against  us 
from  every  side.  The  old  man  held  out 
against  two  of  our  speakers.  We  were  ap- 
proaching a  crisis  and  knew  something  must 
be  done  quickly  or  the  enemy  would  gain  the 
victory.  It  was  against  the  city  ordinance  to 
stand  on  the  sidewalk  and  preach,  but  as 
there  was  no  standing  room  left  in  the  street, 
I  saw  nothing  else  to  do  and  stepped  upon  the 
sidewalk  and  faced  the  company.  My  Gospel 
gun  was  filled  with  spiritual  dynamite,  and 
there  was  no  hesitancy  in  using  it.  As  I 
poured  the  message  on  this  immense  throng, 


OPENING    IN   DENVEE  277 

our  intruder's  voice  began  to  fail  and  he  tried 
to  get  away.  He  was  within  a  few  steps  of 
the  sidewalk  opposite  us  when  a  burly  fel- 
low took  hold  of  him  and  brought  him  back. 
He  said,  ' 'You  commenced  this  fight  and  you 
will  have  to  see  it  through."  "My  voice  is 
giving  out,  "  he  replied.  "That  don't  make 
any  difference,  you  will  have  to  talk  as  long 
as  she  does/'  was  the  answer.  A  number  of 
persons  gathered  around  him  to  prevent  his 
escape.  He  made  another  effort  to  speak, 
but  could  scarcely  speak  above  a  whisper.  A 
policeman  then  appeared  and  told  him  if  he 
ever  disturbed  another  meeting  he  would  be 
arrested.  We  had  prayed  many  times  that 
the  work  of  the  enemy  through  this  man 
might  be  stopped,  as  he  had  often  disturbed 
our  meetings  before. 

On  another  evening  a  cold  wind  was 
blowing  and  it  seemed  almost  useless  to  try 
to  hold  the  people;  but  we  remembered  the 
scripture  says,  "He  that  observeth  the  winds 
shall  not  sow;  and  he  that  regardeth  the 
clouds  shall  not  reap."  As  the  sword  of  truth 
was  unsheathed,  a  man  standing  in  front  of 
us  became  very  restless,  and  suddenly  taking 
a  bill  from  his  pocket  and  shaking  it  in  my 
face,  he  said  with  a  loud  voice,  'Til  give  you 
this  if  you  will  stop. "  No  attention  being 
paid  to  him  he  became  furious,  repeating  his 


278       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM   BEULAH 

first  statement  over  and  over  and  shaking  the 
money  at  me.  He  drew  a  large  audience — the 
people  coming  from  all  directions.  "And  this 
is  condemnation,  that  light  is  come  into  the 
world,  and  men  loved  darkness  rather  than  light, 
because  their  deeds  are  evil."  We  told  the 
people  this  scripture  described  the  condition 
of  the  man  who  was  trying  to  hire  us  to  quit — 
he  loved  darkness  rather  than  light.  He  sud- 
denly disappeared,  but  not,  however,  until  an 
immense  company  of  people  had  gathered  round 
us  who  otherwise  would  not  have  stopped. 

Near  the  close  of  an  open-air  meeting  at 
Eighteenth  and  Larimer  streets,  a  young  man 
stepped  forward  and  said,  "I  came  to  make 
light  of  this  service,  but  God  has  laid  his  hand 
on  me  while  standing  here,  and  I  feel  the 
weight  of  my  sins.  I  have  been  wayward  and 
rebellious.  Lately  my  mother  sent  for  me  to 
come  to  Kentucky  and  see  her  before  she 
died.  I  went  to  her  bedside  and  hardened 
my  heart  against  God  and  her  dying  pleas.  I 

am  the  grandson  of  Bishop ,  of  Kentucky : 

God  has  laid  His  hand  upon  me  on  this  street 
corner  to-night.  I  surrender  all  to  him  and 
feel  that  he  saves  me  now. " 

A  sister  was  preaching  on  the  street  with 
great  unction,  when  a  man  who  looked  like  a 
tramp  began  to  scoff.  My  mother,  who  was 
present,  touched  his  arm  and  requested  him 


OPENING  IN    DENVEK  279 

not  to  disturb  the  meeting.  He  asked  abruptly, 
"Who  are  you  anyhow?"  She  made  no 
reply.  Then  he  said,  "I  am  from  Kentucky." 
"I  am  from  Kentucky,  too,"  she  said,  ''and  I 
am  more  ashamed  of  you  than  ever."  He 
said,  '  'I  am  from  Millersburg. "  This  is  the 
town  in  which  we  had  lived  for  many  years. 
When  he  learned  this  he  was  more  amazed 
than  before  and  said,  '  'Then  I  suppose  you 
must  have  known  my  people  there."  He 
proved  to  be  the  prodigal  son  of  our  family 
physician,  who  had  also  been  a  banker  in  the 
town.  Long  since  he  had  seen  his  parents, 
my  mother  had  stood  at  their  bedsides  and 
helped  to  close  their  eyes  in  death.  When 
she  told  him  this  he  wept  bitterly  and  lamented 
his  fallen  condition.  I  remembered  his  brother 
as  an  intelligent  young  man;  his  two  sisters 
were  the  handsomest  girls  in  the  female  col- 
lege. Alas!  to  what  a  low  state  this  wanderer 
had  fallen,  clad  in  filthy  rags,  with  vermin 
on  his  body,  begging  for  a  dime  with  which  to 
get  a  cheap  bed  or  buy  a  glass  of  rum. 
Mother  wrote  to  his  brother  in  Kentucky,  who 
was  living  in  luxury,  telling  him  that  she  had 
found  his  long-lost  brother.  His  reply  was  that 
he  did  not  claim  relationship  to  him  and  would 
rather  not  hear  anything  more  about  him. 
We  could  not  help  but  think  how  much  his 
spirit  was  like  that  manifested  by  the  elder 


280   LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

brother  in  the  parable  of  the  prodigal  son. 
The  interesting  incidents  and  experiences 
in  the  work  are  links  in  a  seeming  endless 
chain,  wrought  out  in  the  flaming  forge  of 
Pentecostal  fire. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

THE  LEADVILLE  CONFERENCE  AND  MISSION    WORK 


THE  END  of  the  summer  (1896) 
I  attended  the  Methodist  Conference  at 
Leadville.  A  friend  handed  me  ten  dollars  to 
pay  my  railroad  fare  and  two  sisters  offered  to 
take  care  of  the  house  and  children  in  my  ab- 
sence. All  this  was  done  without  my  express- 
ing a  desire  to  go.  I  did  not  know  what  the 
Lord  had  for  me  to  do,  but  I  went  expecting 
to  walk  in  the  light  as  it  was  given. 

On  hearing  the  presiding  bishop  at  this 
Conference  and  seeing  his  awful  apostasy  it 
started  the  blood  to  coursing  through  my  veins 
afresh,  and  I  would  gladly  have  laid  my  life 
down  to  lift  up  the  standard  of  a  full  Gospel. 
He  talked  against  revival  meetings,  altar  serv- 
ices, pastoral  calls,  women  preachers,  Gospel 
songs,  and  many  of  the  old  Methodist  hymns. 
He  trampled  all  the  God-honored  customs 
and  practices  of  old-time  Methodism  under 
his  feet.  His  fierce  attacks  on  vital  Christian 
experience  made  the  demons  of  night  rejoice. 
It  was  wonderful  that  God  had  given  me  an 
experience  that  founded  me  on  the  Rock, 
and  kept  me  among  one  hundred  and  fifty 

281 


282       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

preachers  at  this  Conference  who  were  weighed 
in  the  balances  and  found  wanting. 

While  the  wing  of  Satan  was  brooding 
over  the  place,  the  fire  was  burning  in  my 
soul  and  I  never  felt  more  like  setting  the  bat- 
tle in  array  than  I  did  at  that  time.  I  had 
an  experience  that  heaven  was  backing  me  up 
in  and  knew  that  God  took  me  to  the  Con- 
ference to  lift  up  the  standard  where  the  min- 
istry was  bowing  to  the  gods  of  this  world. 
Praise  His  name!  Never  was  Ephesians  6:12 
more  forcibly  brought  to  my  mind:  "We 
wrestle  not  against  flesh  and  blood,  but  against 
principalities,  against  powers,  against  the  rul- 
ers of  the  darkness  of  this  world,  against  spir- 
itual wickedness  in  high  places. " 

The  bishop  reminded  me  of  Ahab,  king 
of  Israel,  who  did  more  to  provoke  the  God  of 
Israel  to  wrath  than  all  the  rulers  that  pre- 
ceded him  (i  Kings  16:33).  The  spirit  of 
Jezebel  was  present.  A  preacher  was  tried 
behind  closed  doors  and  his  credentials  taken 
from  him,  simply  because  he  was  fearless  in 
his  denunciation  of  sin. 

The  Conference  was  held  during  the  great 
strike  at  Leadville  among  the  miners,  when 
thousands  of  people  were  wandering  idly  up 
and  down  the  streets.  No  better  oppor- 
tunity was  ever  afforded  to  preach  the  Gospel 
to  unsaved  men.  An  audience  of  a  thousand 


PENTECOSTAL   MISSIONS  283 

or  more  could  easily  have  been  reached  any 
evening  within  two  blocks  of  the  church. 
With  one  hundred  and  fifty  preachers  in  the 
city,  no  efforts  were  made  by  the  Conference 
to  preach  the  Gospel  to  the  unsaved  multi- 
tudes. With  the  assistance  of  two  or  three 
persons  I  held  an  open-air  meeting  nearly 
every  evening  a  short  distance  from  the 
church.  God  gave  me  great  liberty  in  talking 
to  the  miners  while  many  shorn  prophets 
were  standing  around  the  edges  of  the  crowd, 
listening.  There  were  some  of  the  young 
preachers  who  would  gladly  have  been  with 
us  had  they  not  been  afraid.  In  the  provi- 
dence of  God  the  Congregational  church  was 
offered  me  in  which  to  hold  services.  Several 
ministers  slipped  away  from  the  Conference 
and  came  to  attend  them,  a  number  of  whom 
came  to  the  altar  as  seekers  of  sanctification. 
The  bishop  found  out,  however,  that  they 
were  coming  and  put  a  stop  to  it.  There 
were  in  all  about  thirty  professions.  The 
people  of  the  town  asked  many  questions 
about  our  work  at  Denver,  and  expressed  their 
desire  for  a  mission  to  be  opened  at  Leadville. 
I  left  them  with  the  promise  that  I  would  re- 
turn if  the  Lord  should  so  direct. 

Our  annual  camp  meeting  followed  at 
Fort  Collins.  A  train  went  out  from  Denver 
carrying  more  than  one  hundred  campers,  in- 


284      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

eluding  evangelists  and  missionaries.  There 
were  great  numbers  in  attendance  at  all  the 
services,  especially  on  Sundays,  and  God's 
blessing  was  upon  the  people  in  convicting,  con- 
verting and  sanctifying  power.  At  the  close 
of  this  meeting  Sister  Vorn  Holtz  returned 
East,  and  all  of  our  efforts  were  centered  at 
the  mission  hall,  where  meetings  were  held 
every  evening.  Saturday  afternoon  services 
were  held  for  the  children;  we  also  had  a 
Sunday-school  for  them.  These  children, 
when  they  came  to  us  were  almost  destitute 
of  clothing,  and  nearly  a  thousand  garments 
were  sent  in,  which  were  given  out  to  them 
during  the  winter  months.  Scarcely  a  night 
passed  that  souls  were  not  saved. 

During  a  carnival  held  in  the  city,  work- 
ers went  into  the  slums  and  held  a  midnight 
meeting.  Here  God  manifested  himself  in 
power.  Soon  there  came  a  shower  of  eggs 
from  rough  men,  incited  by  inflamed  rum- 
sellers,  whose  prosperous  carnival  trade  for 
the  time  had  been  stopped.  A  Methodist 
preacher  declared  he  would  not  have  missed 
this  meeting  for  a  thousand  dollars,  for  in  it 
he  received  a  new  manifestation  of  what  God 
was  to  the  Wesleys  who  were  stoned  for  His 
sake.  Nothing  daunted,  our  workers  contin- 
ued to  preach  until  many  broke  down  and 
wept.  They  were  followed  into  mission  halls 


PENTECOSTAL    MISSIONS  285 

by  penitent  souls,  who  with  bitter  tears  con- 
fessed their  sins  and  surrendered  to  God. 

In  February  (1897)  we  were  impressed 
that  Leadville  would  be  our  next  field  of  labor, 
and  soon  a  letter  came  from  a  person  who 
had  opened  a  mission  there  and  wanted  us  to 
take  it  off  her  hands.  I  supposed  this  woman 
was  a  person  whom  I  had  met  at  the  Confer- 
ence, whose  name  I  had  forgotten,  but  on  reach- 
ing Leadville  I  was  very  much  disappointed  to 
find  a  woman  of  an  entirely  different  charac- 
ter. I  saw  that  nothing  could  be  done  with 
her  mission  and  also  found  that  she  was  unwill- 
ing to  turn  it  over  as  she  had  promised  to  do. 
After  ten  days  of  suffering,  privation  and 
much  prayer,  the  Lord  opened  the  way  for 
another  mission  to  be  started,  entirely  inde- 
pendent of  this  woman  and  her  people. 

I  returned  home  after  nearly  a  month's 
absence,  and  sent  others  to  take  charge  of  the 
work.  The  Lord  allowed  a  sifting  time  to 
come  to  our  work  through  the  opening  of 
another  mission  in  Denver;  at  the  same  time 
He  raised  up  a  band  of  faithful  missionaries 
to  stand  by  us. 

In  the  early  part  of  the  year  1898  we 
were  called  to  two  country  districts  near  Gree- 
ley,  Colorado,  to  hold  meetings  in  school- 
houses.  At  these  two  places  about  eighty 
persons  were  converted. 


286       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

A  mission  was  also  opened  in  Colorado 
City  and  some  sheaves  were  gathered  for  the 
Master. 

On  the  Fourth  of  July  our  Annual  Holi- 
ness convention  was  held  at  Pleasant  View, 
Colorado.  Here  $43.25  was  given  to  be 
used  in  opening  a  mission  in  Cheyenne,  Wy- 
oming. I  told  the  people  how  the  Lord  was 
burdening  me  for  that  place  and  that  two  or 
three  persons  were  ready  to  go  there  and  help 
in  the  work.  God  put  the  Spirit  on  this  serv- 
ice and  the  message  that  was  given,  after 
which  we  had  a  lively  altar  service.  A  Meth- 
odist preacher  who  attended  this  meeting  was 
stricken  down  by  the  power  of  God  and  is 
one  of  our  faithful  preachers  at  the  present 
time. 

A  mission  was  opened  at  Cheyenne  a  few 
days  later,  July  2oth.  For  more  than  a 
month  we  preached  in  a  tent,  pitched  half  a 
block  from  the  Congregational  church.  Large 
numbers  of  people  attended  the  street  meet- 
ings. At  first  the  spirit  of  indifference  and 
unbelief,  created  in  the  very  atmosphere  a 
hardness  that  required  courage  to  face,  and 
that  took  time  to  break  down.  Soon,  how- 
ever, the  power  of  conviction  took  hold  upon 
people  and  many  came  to  the  altar.  Most  of 
those  who  were  converted  or  helped  have  gone 
to  other  parts  of  the  country.  Some  of  them 


PENTECOSTAL  MISSIONS  287 

we  have  met  in  our  travels;  others  we  hear 
from  by  letters  written  to  our  missionaries. 
Later  the  mission  was  moved  to  a  hall.  We 
have  learned  to  pray  and  hope,  while  working 
for  God,  no  matter  what  comes,  remembering 
that  He  has  promised  that  our  labors  shall  be 
rewarded. 

Our  fifth  annual  camp  meeting  was  held 
in  1898  at  Greeley,  Colorado.  The  camp 
meetings  heretofore  spoken  of  were  supposed 
to  be  carried  on  under  the  auspices  of  the 
Colorado  Holiness  Association,  the  organiza- 
tion of  which  was  effected  at  the  Hay  Market 
Mission,  Denver,  October  4th  and  5th,  1893. 
Mr.  White  was  made  secretary  of  this  associ- 
ation; all  the  other  officers  were  mere  figure- 
heads. While  the  work  was  under  reproach, 
they  were  willing  for  their  names  to  be  used 
in  the  advertisements  of  camp  meetings  and 
conventions,  but  took  no  active  part  in  the 
work.  But  after  we  had  hundreds  converted 
in  the  schoolhouses,  churches  and  other 
places  who  had  joined  the  Association,  they 
wanted  to  assume  the  management  of  affairs. 

The  work  previously  done  in  our  revival 
meetings  in  the  country  schoolhouses  near  by 
caused  many  hungry  souls  and  curiosity  seek- 
ers to  attend  this  camp  meeting.  The  altars 
were  filled  with  a  goodly  number  of  seekers, 
and  many  prayed  through  to  victory.  It  was 


288      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

at  this  time  the  devil  put  forth  efforts,  through 
some  of  the  officers  of  the  association,  to  side- 
track the  work  and  bring  about  a  division  in 
the  camp.  J.  A.  DaFoe  was  his  principal 
agent  to  bias  and  prejudice  the  minds  of  the 
people  against  the  real  work  of  the  Holy 
Ghost.  He  had  an  ambition  to  be  a  leader, 
and  was  slick  and  wily  enough  to  deceive  even 
those  who  had  salvation.  From  day  to  day  I 
groaned  under  a  burden  that  only  God  could 
lift  from  my  soul.  I  saw  that  this  man  was 
more  to  be  feared  than  an  open  foe,  and  knew 
that  it  was  only  a  question  of  time  until  he 
would  succeed  in  destroying  most  of  the  good 
we  had  accomplished  through  incessant  labors. 
The  Lord  came  to  me  and  comforted  my 
heart  by  showing  me  that  He  was  going  to 
separate  us  from  the  hypocritical  professors  in 
this  association  by  launching  our  work  out 
as  a  new  organization  and  under  a  new  name 
where  there  would  be  no  opportunities  for 
these  wolves  in  sheep's  clothing  to  get  in. 
This  has  been  literally  carried  out  and  the  out- 
growth is  the  Pillar  of  Fire  movement  of  to-day. 

After  the  summer's  work  was  over  the  Lord 
kept  me  waiting  before  Him  for  several  weeks, 
during  which  time  He  showed  me  the  need  of  a 
Home  and  Training  School  for  our  mission- 
aries. We  knew  of  a  number  of  young  people 
who  were  willing  to  give  up  their  positions 


a 

8 
S3 


PENTECOSTAL   MISSIONS  289 

and  devote  all  their  time  to  the  work,  who 
were  hindered  in  the  Lord's  service  by  having 
to  work  for  wages  to  meet  their  expenses  of 
board,  lodging,  clothing,  etc.  Some  of  them 
had  only  a  slight  acquaintance  with  the  Scrip- 
tures, and  but  a  limited  knowledge  of  the  Eng- 
lish language.  Others  did  not  have  the  ad- 
vantage of  orthodox  training  in  their  early 
lives  and  therefore  knew  but  little  of  the  doc- 
trine to  which  Paul  told  Timothy  to  take 
heed;  and  we  knew  that  unless  they  were 
enlightened  their  work  for  the  Lord  would  be 
greatly  hindered,  and  in  all  probability  they 
would  lose  their  experiences.  If  young  Chris- 
tians can  have  the  proper  training  they  will 
not  be  easily  caught  in  the  traps  of  the  enemy. 
The  Methodist  Hymnal  did  much  to  establish 
me  in  right  doctrines.  It  ought  to  be  studied 
and  used  by  all  Christians.  Our  burden  for 
a  Home  and  Training  School  was  increased 
from  day  to  day,  and  God  removed  obstacles 
out  of  the  way  and  made  the  opening  of  such 
an  institution  possible.  The  financial  question, 
of  course ,  was  the  great  problem,  but  I  had  faith 
in  God  and  knew  He  had  plans  for  the  School 
and  would  give  us  the  means  to  carry  it  on. 
One  night  I  dreamed  that  instead  of  ask- 
ing people  for  money  we  should  call  the  Chris- 
tians who  were  interested  together  for  prayer. 
We  wrote  letters  to  those  living  in  the  country 

10 


290        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

and  city  asking  them  to  meet  with  us  to  pray 
on  the  first  Thursday  afternoon  in  November 
(1898),  at  our  home  at  1226  West  i3th  ave- 
nue. There  were  forty-five  persons  present 
at  this  meeting.  After  the  matter  of  opening 
a  Home  and  Training  School  was  discussed, 
the  burden  was  also  put  on  them;  some  of 
them  shouted,  others  wept,  and  said,  '  It  is 
of  God."  Different  ways  of  securing  funds 
were  suggested,  but  it  was  shown  me  that  I 
must  ask  no  one  for  anything  myself  or  in  any 
way  lean  on  the  arm  of  flesh,  and  that  in 
trusting  the  Lord  fully  He  would  move  upon 
the  hearts  of  people  to  bring  or  send  in  the 
money  and  other  things  that  were  needed  for 
the  opening  of  this  institution. 

Within  a  few  weeks  money  was  on  hands  to 
pay  the  first  month's  rent,  also  to  buy  furniture 
and  provisions  with  which  to  open  the  School. 
On  the  first  day  of  February  (1899),  we  held 
the  opening  services  in  a  building  procured  on 
Twenty-second  street.  Three  months  later  we 
moved  to  2348  Champa  street  a  much  better 
and  more  commodious  place.  We  provided 
for  sixteen  to  forty  persons  in  the  School  after 
it  was  opened,  and  truly,  He,  who  is  the  head 
of  the  work,  supplied  all  our  need  according  to 
His  riches  in  glory  by  Christ  Jesus.  On  the 
first  of  each  month  our  rents  were  always  met. 
The  work  was  established  on  a  faith  basis  in 


PENTECOSTAL  MISSIONS  291 

order  to  give  young  men  and  women  who  had 
no  means  of  support  the  opportunity  to  pre- 
pare themselves  to  preach  the  Gospel.  We 
had  no  resources  of  our  own,  and  board  and 
tuition  were  furnished  students  who  were  will- 
ing to  help  do  the  work  of  the  Institu- 
tion. 

On  the  27th  of  June  (1899),  my  husband, 
our  two  sons  and  myself  left  for  Butte  City, 
Montana  to  open  a  mission.  We  did  not 
have  money  to  make  the  trip,  yet  the  Spirit 
clearly  bade  us  go.  Mr.  White  preached  at 
Greeley  on  the  Sunday  preceding  our  going, 
and  instead  of  receiving  five  or  six  dollars  as 
was  customary,  he  was  given  thirty,  the 
amount  needed  in  addition  to  what  we  had. 
The  Lord  was  very  precious  to  us  all  the  way 
on  this  thousand-mile  journey,  and  gave  us 
tokens  of  His  favor  which  meant  much  to  us. 

The  train  was  due  at  Dillon  at  midnight, 
where  we  had  many  relatives  and  acquaint- 
ances. For  certain  reasons  we  did  not  want 
to  reach  this  place  in  the  night,  and  I  asked 
the  Lord  to  kindly  delay  the  train  for  us,  and 
do  it  in  such  a  way  that  no  one  would  be  hurt 
or  greatly  inconvenienced  by  it.  I  received 
the  assurance  at  once  that  the  Lord  would 
grant  my  request.  An  hour  later  the  jolly, 
good-natured  conductor  came  through  our  car 
and  said,  'This  train  will  be  delayed  five 


292       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

hours;  there  has  been  no  wreck,  but  a  wash- 
out a  few  miles  ahead  of  us."  He  passed  a 
few  words  of  conversation  with  the  boys  and 
went  on.  The  boys  laughed  to  see  mamma 
get  her  '  'prayer  through. "  I  saw  the  train 
would  reach  Dillon  at  five  o'clock;  this  was 
too  early,  and  I  asked  the  Lord  to  please  de- 
lay it  two  and  one  half  hours  longer.  In  less 
than  an  hour  the  conductor  came  through 
again  and  said,  "This  train  will  be  seven  and 
one  half  hours  late  instead  of  five."  I  shall 
never  forget  the  expression  on  the  boys'  faces, 
who  knew  that  after  the  conductor  had  an- 
nounced the  train  to  be  five  hours  late  I  had 
asked  the  Lord  to  delay  it  two  and  one  half 
hours  longer.  They  laughed  for  joy  and  then 
looked  serious  and  said,  "Mamma,  the  Lord 
gives  you  everything  you  ask  Him  for." 

We  remained  at  Dillon  a  few  days  and 
then  went  on  to  Butte.  We  found  living  ex- 
penses were  high  and  that  it  was  almost  im- 
possible to  rent  rooms  at  any  reasonable  price. 
It  was  harder  still  to  find  a  centrally  located 
hall  suitable  for  our  work.  In  our  extremity 
we  thought  of  renting  a  store  room  at  a  high 
rental  which  was  poorly  located.  When  about 
to  close  the  deal  we  learned  that  scarlet  fever 
had  broken  out  next  door  to  it  and  this 
stopped  us.  We  now  had  only  a  few  dollars 
left  and  had  to  change  our  rooming  place  the 


PENTECOSAL  MISSIONS  293 

next  day.  On  Sunday  afternoon  we  felt 
that  something  would  have  to  be  done  quickly. 
We  decided  to  wait  before  the  Lord  until  we 
had  prayed  through  the  difficulty.  While 
doing  so  the  evidence  came  that  a  place  would 
soon  be  found.  The  next  morning,  just  as 
I  awakened,  I  saw,  in  the  Spirit,  my  hus- 
band's gold  watch  before  me.  Quick  as  a 
flash  the  thought  came,  sell  the  gold  and 
put  the  works  in  a  silver  case.  I  had  known 
for  some  time  that  the  Lord  was  not  pleased 
to  have  Mr.  White  use  this  gold  watch,  espe- 
cially when  the  Scriptures  forbid  the  wearing 
of  gold.  He  had  tried  in  Denver  to  sell  the 
case  and  failed  to  receive  a  satisfactory  offer, 
and  continued  to  wear  the  watch.  The  gold 
in  the  case  was  sold  for  thirty-three  dollars, 
and  the  works  put  in  a  silver  case  costing  five. 
On  walking  out  in  the  residence  portion 
of  the  city  to  look  for  rooms  I  met  a  woman 
who  called  herself  a  ' 'Latter  Day  Saint." 
She  said  that  she  and  her  people  had  hunted 
the  city  over  to  find  a  suitable  place  in  which 
to  hold  their  meetings.  They  had  found  a 
room,  but  not  suitable  for  their  work.  *  'It  is 
centrally  located  and  will  suit  your  purpose  ex- 
actly, and  can  be  had  for  a  reasonable  price," 
she  said.  It  was  the  dining  room  of  a  large 
rooming  house,  just  a  few  feet  down  from  the 
sidewalk.  The  room  was  secured  and  the 


294       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

first  two  weeks'  rent  paid  with  money  received 
from  the  sale  of  the  watch. 

The  Methodists  were  building  a  new 
church  and  gave  us  their  old  seats.  Our  dif- 
ficulties were  not  ended,  however;  the  chief 
of  police  forbade  us  holding  open-air  meetings. 
He  was  unreasonable  and  insolent  and  said 
if  we  attempted  to  do  so  he  would  have  us 
arrested.  The  mayor  gave  us  no  encourage- 
ment and  told  us  that  whatever  the  chief  said 
would  have  to  stand.  There  was  no  way  to 
get  the  people  into  our  hall  without  open-air 
meetings,  and  this  meant  we  were  to  go  no 
further  or  face  the  jail.  We  made  up  our 
minds  to  do  the  latter  rather  than  to  back  down 
after  the  Lord  had  led  us  up  to  this  crisis. 

I  was  somewhat  nervous  as  we  sang  our 
first  song  on  the  street  corner,  not  knowing  what 
moment  an  officer  would  lay  his  hand  upon  us. 
The  God  of  battles  undertook  for  us  and  we 
went  on  unmolested.  Praise  His  name!  He 
can  shut  the  lions'  mouths  and  open  prison 
doors.  From  night  to  night  we  fearlessly 
proclaimed  the  Gospel  in  this  modern  Sodom. 
Never  had  we  seen  the  bulwarks  of  the  enemy 
so  impregnable  and  sin  so  bold-faced.  As  we 
sang,  preached,  and  wrestled  in  prayer,  God 
gave  us  the  assurance  that  His  word  should 
break  in  pieces  the  rock. 

Until  help  arrived,    nearly   four   months 


PENTECOSTAL   MISSIONS  295 

later,  neither  my  husband  nor  myself  missed  a 
meeting  on  the  street  or  in  the  hall,  yet  we 
were  wondrously  sustained  by  the  Lord 
through  this  long  siege.  There  was  much  in- 
volved in  the  establishment  of  this  work.  It 
was  the  key  to  our  future  success.  We  la- 
bored for  six  weeks  before  we  had  a  real  con- 
vert, but  a  break  came  at  last  and  there  were 
seekers  almost  every  evening.  A  home  for 
missionaries  was  fitted  up,  most  of  the  furni- 
ture and  supplies  being  donated. 

After  an  absence  of  six  months  I  returned 
to  Denver,  my  husband  remained  three 
months  longer.  During  the  first  year  of  the 
existence  of  this  mission,  the  workers  held 
three  hundred  and  forty  open-air  meetings, 
and  three  hundred  and  thirty-five  services 
were  conducted  in  the  hall.  There  were 
eighty-four  persons  who  professed  conversion, 
and  twenty- two  sanctification.  Besides  visit- 
ing and  praying  with  the  sick  and  distributing 
tracts  and  other  religious  literature,  much 
house  to  house  calling  was  done.  The  mis- 
sion had  no  other  resources  than  the  voluntary 
contributions  of  the  people. 


CHAPTER    XIX 


SOME     FAITH     EXPERIENCES 

A  FTER  RETURNING  HOME  I  found 
*•**  that  the  expenses  of  the  work  had  greatly 
increased,  and  I  was  burdened  on  account  of 
the  financial  outlook.  There  were  some  bills 
that  had  to  be  met,  and  the  winter  being  ex- 
ceedingly cold,  our  expenses  for  fuel  were  high. 
A  number  of  people  had  prophesied  that  our 
Home  and  School  could  not  run  through  the 
winter,  and  I  arrived  just  at  the  time  they 
supposed  their  prophecy  was  about  to  be  ful- 
filled. In  an  afternoon  meeting  in  the  mission 
hall  quite  a  number  of  the  so-called  holiness 
people  were  present,  all  of  whom  were  mem- 
bers of  the  Colorado  Holiness  Association,  and 
among  them  a  number  of  ministers,  some  of 
whom  were  pastors  of  churches.  They  were 
not  expecting  me  to  be  present  and  deliver  a 
message  at  this  time,  but  after  listening  to 
their  fireless  exhortations  the  Holy  Spirit  gave 
me  a  burning  message,  the  results  of  which 
can  be  imagined  better  than  told.  The  last 
cord  that  bound  us  in  any  way  to  the  old 
holiness  movement  was  severed.  Persons 
who  were  present,  from  that  time  became 

296 


PENTECOSTAL    MISSIONS  297 

our  open  enemies,  especially  the  official  mem- 
bers of  the  C.  H.  A.,  most  of  whom  were 
present.  They  declared  a  great  mistake  had 
been  made  to  come  to  our  hall  at  all  and  never 
again  asked  for  the  use  of  it  in  which  to  hold 
one  of  their  meetings.  God  was  greatly 
pleased  when  the  truth  was  fearlessly  declared 
in  their  presence,  and  He  gave  me  the  assur- 
ance at  once  that  he  was  going  to  undertake 
for  us  in  financial  affairs.  A  person  present, 
whom  I  had  never  seen  before,  wept  all  the 
time  the  message  was  being  given,  and  at  the 
close  of  the  meeting  introduced  himself  and 
handed  me  five  dollars.  He  said,  '  There  is 
more  to  follow. "  A  few  days  later  he  gave 
me  a  check  for  twenty-five  dollars  and  later 
another  for  forty;  he  kept  this  up  at  regular 
intervals  for  months  and  the  Lord  sent  us 
money  from  other  and  unexpected  sources  so 
that  all  our  bills  and  expenses  were  met.  On 
a  certain  day  we  needed  twenty- five  dollars;  I 
could  see  no  source  from  which  it  could  come, 
but  the  Lord  gave  me  the  assurance  early  in 
the  morning  that  it  was  coming.  That  after- 
noon a  person  came  to  the  Home  and  handed 
me  just  that  amount.  While  asking  the  Lord 
for  the  twenty-five  dollars  I  opened  the  Bible 
to  the  first  verse  of  the  second  chapter  of  Ruth: 
"And  Naomi  had  a  kinsman  of  her  husband's 
a  mighty  man  of  wealth,  of  the  family  of 


298       LOOKING  BACK    FEOM    BETJLAH 

Elimelech;  and  his  name  was  Boaz."  I  knew 
that  Boaz  is  a  type  of  Christ  and  Ruth  a  type 
of  His  bride,  and  the  Lord  had  told  me  that  I 
was  a  member  of  His  bride,  and  this  being 
true,  the  wealth  of  Boaz  was  mine  as  my 
faith  reached  out  and  claimed  it.  It  was  a  day 
of  great  rejoicing  for  me;  the  Lord  gave  me 
a  better  idea  of  what  it  means  to  be  His  bride 
than  ever  before.  I  took  a  special  interest  in 
studying  the  book  of  Ruth  and  found  in  it  a 
mine  of  wealth,  worth  more  to  me  than  the 
gold  and  silver  that  perishes. 

Soon  after  reaching  home  there  was  quite 
a  sifting  time  in  our  work.  Some  wolves  in 
sheep's  clothing  had  been  admitted  to  our 
Missionary  Home  in  our  absence,  and  those 
whom  we  had  left  in  charge  were  not  experi- 
enced enough  to  know  how  to  deal  with  them. 
One  incident  might  be  related:  I  had  been 
home  but  little  more  than  a  week  when  one 
night  I  was  awakened  suddenly  out  of  sleep 
by  the  voice  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  saying, 
4 There  is  a  thief  in  the  house."  This  was 
repeated  the  second  or  third  time.  I  was 
soon  wide  awake  and  asked  the  Lord  to  show 
me  who  the  thief  was.  The  face  of  a  person 
came  before  me  who  had  come  to  the  mission 
and  professed  conversion,  and  had  been  ad- 
mitted to  the  Home.  The  next  morning  I 
told  my  experience  to  the  matron  and  others 


PENTECOSTAL   MISSIONS  299 

who  had  charge  of  affairs  in  my  absence. 
The  matron  declared  she  did  not  believe  the 
man  was  a  thief  and  could  not  get  the  consent 
of  her  conscience  to  say  that  he  should  be  put 
out  of  the  Home.  I  begged  her  to  co-operate 
with  me  in  his  speedy  removal,  but  this  she 
was  unwilling  to  do.  I  saw  that  I  would  have 
to  take  the  matter  in  hand  myself,  and  I  told 
him  to  go.  A  number  of  the  inmates  of  the 
Home  pleaded  to  have  him  stay.  They  said, 
"Let  him  go  to  the  mission  hall  and  room 
with  the  janitor  until  he  can  find  work  to  do." 
I  reluctantly  consented  to  this  and  limited  the 
time  to  three  days.  They  were  in  hopes  that 
I  would  find  I  was  mistaken  about  this  man 
and  that  he  would  prove  himself  true  and  be 
granted  the  privilege  of  remaining  with  us. 
There  were  many  earnest  prayers  made  for 
him  the  next  two  days,  but  at  the  end  of  his 
time-limit  in  the  mission  he  had  made  his  es- 
cape, after  having  stolen  goods  and  money 
from  our  people  to  the  amount  of  about  one 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars.  He  took  a  bicycle, 
a  violin  worth  forty-five  dollars,  about  twenty- 
five  dollars'  worth  of  books,  two  trunks  of  cloth- 
ing, some  of  which  was  new,  and  also  forged 
a  check  on  an  aged  brother  for  one  hundred 
dollars.  We  afterwards  learned  that  this 
man  had  gone  under  an  assumed  name  and 
had  been  in  the  Canon  City  penitentiary  for 


300       LOOKING    BACK  FROM    BEULAH 

six  years.  It  taught  our  people  a  great  les- 
son which  they  have  never  forgotten  and 
which  proved  of  far  greater  value  to  them 
than  the  goods  he  stole.  There  is  a  floating 
class  of  criminals  and  ex- convicts  who  make 
it  a  business  to  go  from  city  to  city,  making  a 
profession  and  identifying  themselves  for  a 
time  with  missions  and  churches,  where  they 
work  on  the  sympathies  of  people  for  temporal 
gain.  When  they  find  there  is  danger  of 
their  being  found  out,  they  will  often  borrow 
money  from  people  whom  they  have  succeeded 
in  deceiving,  or  work  some  other  scheme,  and 
then  take  their  departure.  Later  they  will 
appear  in  another  part  of  the  country  under  a 
different  name,  and  still  continue  their  old 
devices,  playing  the  part  of  a  penitent,  then 
professing  to  get  converted,  etc.  Some  of 
them  are  wise  enough  to  almost  deceive  the 
very  elect.  It  takes  the  Holy  Spirit  to  ferret 
them  out  and  to  expose  their  hypocrisy. 

In  the  days  of  Elijah  the  Lord  sent  a  fam- 
ine on  Israel  because  of  their  awful  apostasy 
(i  Kings  17).  It  was  during  this  time  that 
the  Lord  commanded  Elijah  to  turn  east  and 
hide  himself  by  the  brook  Cherith.  It  was 
here  that  he  was  fed  by  the  ravens,  who  car- 
ried him  bread  and  flesh  in  the  morning  and 
bread  and  flesh  in  the  evening.  Soon  the 
brook  dried  up  and  the  word  of  the  Lord 


WIDOW   OF    ZAJREPHATH  301 

came  again  to  him  saying,  '  'Arise,  get  thee  to 
Zarephath,  which  belongeth  to  Zidon,  and 
dwell  there;  behold,  I  have  commanded  a 
widow  woman  there  to  sustain  thee. "  It  might 
appear  strange  to  some  people  that  the  Lord 
would  send  His  prophet  to  a  poor  widow's 
house  to  be  sustained  in  time  of  famine,  but 
God  never  makes  any  mistakes,  whatever 
may  be  the  outlook  from  a  human  standpoint. 
Elijah  obeyed  the  Lord. 

When  he  reached  Zarephath  he  met  the 
woman  at  the  gate  gathering  sticks  to  cook 
her  last  handful  of  meal,  that  she  and  her  son 
might  eat  it  and  die.  If  the  modern  evangel- 
ists had  been  in  Elijah's  place  they  would 
have  turned  away,  concluding  they  were  out 
of  divine  order,  and  had  mistaken  the  voice  of 
the  Lord;  but  Elijah  knew  that  God  had 
spoken,  and  nothing  daunted,  asked  the  woman 
to  bake  him  a  little  cake  first  and  afterward 
make  for  herself  and  son.  He  told  her  that 
the  Lord  had  said  that  the  meal  should  not 
waste  nor  the  cruse  of  oil  fail  until  rain 
should  come  upon  the  earth.  At  this  time 
she  could  have  had  no  greater  test.  With  a 
starving  child  at  her  side,  and  looking  into  an 
open  grave,  she  was  asked  to  give  her  last 
morsel  to  a  stranger,  on  the  promise  that  God 
would  work  a  miracle.  In  the  act  of  this 
poor  widow  we  find  the  fulfilment  of  the 


302       LOOKING  BACK   FEOM  BEULAH 

scripture  recorded  in  Luke  17:33:  ' 'Whoso- 
ever shall  seek  to  save  his  life  shall  lose  it; 
and  whosoever  shall  lose  his  life  shall  preserve 
it."  In  giving  her  earthly  substance  to  the 
prophet,  she  sought  not  to  save  her  own  life, 
and  as  a  result  she  saved  the  lives  of  both 
herself  and  son.  The  death  route  must  be 
taken  before  the  station  of  divine  miracles  is 
reached.  It  was  so  with  Abraham  when  he 
was  "as  good  as  dead"  (Heb.  i  [  :i2). 

Elijah  was  no  doubt  a  total  stranger  to 
the  widow  and  her  son  and  she  could  have 
produced  plausible  arguments  to  excuse  her- 
self from  granting  his  request.  The  safe  way, 
from  a  human  standpoint,  would  have  been  to 
have  kept  what  she  had  with  the  hope  that 
life  might  be  prolonged  until  help  came  from 
some  source,  or  until  she  witnessed  the  in- 
crease of  the  meal  in  the  barrel.  Most  any 
person  would  have  asked  him,  ''Why  not 
work  the  miracle  first?"  But  in  this  there 
would  have  been  neither  sacrifice  nor  faith, 
and  " Without  faith  it  is  impossible  to  please 
God."  ' 'Faith  is  the  substance  of  things 
hoped  for,  the  evidence  of  things  not  seen" 
(Heb.  11:1).  Faith  is  trusting  in  the  dark. 

A  little  girl  who  was  tenderly  endeared 
to  her  old  rag  doll  was  asked  by  her  father  to 
throw  it  into  the  fire.  She  did  not  under- 
stand why  this  request  was  made,  but  obeyed 


BAAL    WOESHIP  303 

his  word  and  threw  it  into  the  flames.  It  was 
a  great  sacrifice  for  her  to  give  up  the  doll. 
The  father,  pleased  with  her  act  of  obedience, 
brought  out  a  large  bisque  doll  with  real  hair 
and  blue  eyes,  and  handed  it  to  her.  One 
can  imagine  her  joy  and  ecstasy  in  receiving  a 
gift  like  this.  Many  persons  are  kept  in  spir- 
itual poverty  when  they  might  be  the  recipi- 
ents of  untold  blessings,  wearing  the  festal 
garments  and  eating  at  the  King's  table. 

Elijah  had  a  great  task  before  him,  as  he 
was  divinely  commissioned  to  rid  the  country 
of  Baal  worship.  There  was  no  way  to  do 
this  but  to  slay  the  false  prophets.  He  called 
all  of  the  people  to  Mount  Carmel,  erected  an 
altar  and  laid  on  it  the  sacrifice.  The  proph- 
ets of  Baal  were  there,  and  also  the  people  of  Is- 
rael who  had  become  so  weakened  by  idolatry. 
They  had  been  allured  to  the  groves  of  Baal 
by  profligate  leaders  and  made  to  bow  at  his 
shrine  and  kiss  his  image,  and  God's  wrath 
was  burning  against  Israel  because  of  this 
thing.  At  this  time  of  awful  apostasy, 
He  had  a  chosen  instrument  in  Elijah, 
who  faithfully  carried  out  His  orders  and 
brought  glory  to  His  name.  When  he  came 
to  the  people  he  said,  *  'How  long  halt  ye  be- 
tween two  opinions?  If  the  Lord  be  God, 
follow  him:  but  if  Baal,  then  follow  him." 
And  the  people  answered  him  not  a  word. 


304       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

The  only  way  Elijah  could  destroy  idolatry 
and  save  Israel  was  to  take  the  heads  off  the 
lying  prophets  of  Baal,  and  after  he  had  put 
them  to  a  thorough  test  and  no  fire  fell  upon 
their  altar,  he  fearlessly  cut  them  down  with 
the  sword,  and  no  sooner  were  the  prophets 
slain  than  there  was  a  sound  of  abundance  of 
rain.  They  had  prepared  their  sacrifices  and 
called  on  the  name  of  Baal  from  morning 
until  noon  saying,  "O  Baal,  hear  us"  (that  is, 
O  Lord,  hear  us).  But  there  was  no  voice, 
nor  any  that  answered.  And  they  leaped 
upon  the  altar  that  was  made,  but  no  fire  fell. 
Is  it  any  wonder  that  Elijah  mocked  them 
and  said,  "Cry  aloud:  for  he  is  a  god;  either 
he  is  talking,  or  he  is  pursuing,  or  he  is  in  a 
journey,  or  peradventure  he  sleepeth,  and 
must  be  awakened."  Baal's  prophets  must 
have  been  a  sorrowful  sight,  cutting  them- 
selves with  lances  until  they  were  bathed  in 
their  own  blood.  The  preachers  in  the  pul- 
pits of  to-day  are  much  like  Baal's  prophets, 
the  victims,  spiritually,  of  their  own  weapons. 
There  is  no  God  to  .  answer  their  cries,  and 
when  their  calamity  comes,  God  has  declared 
that  He  will  mock  them.  They  make  a  gr  t 
noise,  chant  their  doleful  anthems,  opei 
any  amount  of  machinery,  but  the  fire  d< 
not  fall  on  their  altars.  The  punishment 
hypocritical  preachers  will  be  more  awful  tha. 


ARTHUR  K.   WHITE 


BAAL    WOESHIP  305 

that  which  Baal's   prophets   suffered   at   the 
hand  of  God  through  His  servant  Elijah. 

1  'And  it  came  to  pass,  when  Ahab  saw 
Elijah,  that  Ahab  said  unto  him,  Art  thou  he 
that  troubleth  Israel?  And  he  answered,  I 
have  not  troubled  Israel;  but  thou,  and  thy 
father's  house,  in  that  ye  have  forsaken  the 
commandments  of  the  Lord,  and  thou  hast 
followed  Baalim."  God's  prophets  never 
trouble  the  true  Israel;  it  is  only  apostate 
Israel  that  they  disturb.  When  men  who 
have  the  Holy  Spirit  are  charged  with  split- 
ting a  church,  you  may  be  sure  that  church  is 
backslidden.  A  religious  club  that  calls  itself 
a  church  does  not  like  to  be  disturbed  in  its 
carnal  security.  Ahab  symbolizes  human  gov- 
ernments, and  his  idolatrous  queen  the  fallen 
church.  They  were  both  equally  persistent 
in  Baal  worship.  Jezebel  was  the  daughter 
of  Ethbaal,  the  idolatrous  king  of  the  Zido- 
nians.  She  and  her  wicked  husband  fed  the 
false  prophets  and  slew  the  servants  of  the 
Lord  and  succeeded  in  plunging  the  nation 
into  more  dreadful  idolatry  than  it  had  ever 
been  in  before.  It  was  at  this  time  that  Eli- 
jah appeared  on  the  scene  and  was  accused 
of  troubling  Israel,  as  people  who  have  the 
Holy  Ghost  are  accused  of  troubling  the  old 
church  organizations  to-day. 


CHAPTER   XX 

MEETING    AT    PARIS,     KENTUCKY SHUT     OUT    AT 

PLEASANT    VIEW CHRIST     AS     REDEEMER, 

HEAVENLY     BRIDEGROOM     AND     COMING 
KING THE  TRIBULATION 

TV/FAY  i4th,  1901,  accompanied  by  my 
**•  mother,  I  arrived  at  Paris,  Kentucky, 
where  I  had  two  sisters  and  a  brother  living. 
Three  days  after  our  arrival,  one  of  these  sis- 
ters claimed  to  get  sanctified,  and  the  other, 
who  was  in  a  backslidden  state,  was  under 
great  conviction.  Some  of  the  members  of 
the  Methodist  Church  asked  me  to  preach  for 
them  Sunday  morning,  and  advertised  the 
meeting.  The  pastor,  who  was  off  on  a  vaca- 
tion, heard  of  it  and  took  the  first  train  home; 
he  interviewed  the  members  of  the  official 
board  and  claimed  the  right  to  fill  the  pulpit 
himself.  He  had  been  preaching  but  once  on 
the  Sabbath  and  had  left  to  be  gone  until  Con- 
ference. This  was  another  instance  of  how 
the  preachers  in  the  modern  pulpits  will  close 
the  church  doors  to  keep  their  people  from 
receiving  any  spiritual  light  and  help.  It  is 
the  same  old  spirit  of  the  Pharisee  who  re- 
fuses to  go  into  the  kingdom  himself  or  allow 

306 


KENTUCKY   MEETING  307 

others  to  go  in.  His  deliberately  ignoring  the 
wishes  of  those  who  had  planned  for  me  to 
speak  Sunday  morning  aroused  a  spirit  of  op- 
position in  his  people,  which  led  to  securing 
the  court  house  the  next  day  in  which  to  hold 
special  meetings. 

One  of  my  sisters  was  a  fashionable  dress- 
maker; during  this  meeting  she  was  reclaimed 
and  went  out  of  the  business  altogether, 
against  the  protest  of  her  many  patrons. 
There  was  no  little  commotion  when  she  sent 
back  to  the  ladies  of  fashion  their  goods  un- 
touched. This  was  used  of  God  in  advertis- 
ing the  meetings.  No  Christian  can  conform 
to  the  world  in  dress,  neither  can  he  serve 
God  and  make  clothing  for  the  peacocks 
of  fashion.  The  curiosity  of  the  people 
was  so  thoroughly  aroused  that  they  came 
out  to  see  what  had  caused  this  marvelous 
change  in  my  sister.  There  were  nearly  one 
hundred  persons  in  attendance  at  the  first 
service.  The  attendance  increased  from  this 
number  to  about  four  hundred.  This  city, 
that  is  called  the  Paris  of  America,  the  people 
said,  had  not  had  such  an  awakening  in  many 
years.  We  prayed  for  God  to  lay  His  hand 
upon  the  men  who  granted  us  the  privilege  of 
holding  the  meeting  in  the  court  house  and 
keep  them  from  closing  the  doors  against  us. 
One  day  Mrs.  B and  myself  were  walking 


308       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

along  the  street  and  talking  the  matter  over; 
she  pointed  out  a  person  standing  by  the  door 
of  the  postoffice  and  said,  *  'Do  you  see  that 
man  in  uniform?  If  he  objects  to  this  meet- 
ing he  has  the  power  to  stop  it.  He  has  been 
here  about  twenty- seven  years  and  is  now  the 
chief  of  police.  He  rules  almost  like  a  king 
in  this  city.  The  colored  people  are  so  afraid 
of  him  they  run  when  they  see  his  dogs  com- 
ing around  the  corner." 

I  had  an  unsaved  brother  in  this  city;  he 
was  mixed  up  in  the  county  politics,  and  was 
then  running  for  office.  Knowing  the  condi- 
tion of  the  churches,  and  having  a  special  bur- 
den upon  me  for  my  brother's  soul,  as  well  as 
for  others,  I  prayed  most  fervently  for  the  offi- 
cer who,  they  said,  had  the  power  to  close  the 
doors  of  the  court  house  against  us.  His 
wife,  who  was  a  backslidden  Methodist,  came 
out  to  one  of  the  meetings.  He  was  a  Roman 
Catholic  and  had  no  use  for  Protestant  relig- 
ion. When  things  were  getting  pretty  well 
stirred  up  in  the  town  we  were  looking  any 
hour  for  him  to  protest  against  meetings  being 
held  any  longer  in  the  court  house.  As  he 
passed  by  our  door  one  day  I  looked  at  him 
and  had  a  presentiment  that  he  would  not  be 
permitted  to  interfere  with  our  meetings.  The 
same  day  that  we  prayed  earnestly  on  this 
matter,  he  went  home  and  went  to  bed;  his 


KENTUCKY  MEETING  309 

last   words   were   spoken    to    his    two    dogs. 

The  next  morning  his  wife  was  awakened 
about  four  o'clock  by  the  death  rattle  in  his 
throat.  She  hastened  to  the  telephone  and 
called  a  physician,  but  before  he  arrived  her 
husband  was  dead.  It  looked  like  nearly  the 
whole  town  and  country  turned  out  to  the  fun- 
eral. It  does  not  take  God  long  to  end  a  per- 
son's earthly  career  if  it  suits  His  purpose  to 
do  so;  and  thus  was  the  book  of  this  man's 
life  closed. 

The  meetings  at  the  court  house  contin- 
ued with  unusual  interest  for  nearly  two 
weeks.  There  arose  a  question  among  some 
ot  our  friends  as  to  the  wisdom  of  recognizing 
the  colored  people  who  occupied  the  gallery; 
the  officials  were  willing  for  them  to  occupy 
seats  there,  but  not  for  them  to  take  any  part 
in  the  services.  One  evening  a  number  of 
colored  people  requested  our  prayers,  and  as 
only  one  white  person  had  asked  for  prayers 
in  this  service  we  dismissed  the  main  body  of 
the  congregation  and  remained  for  a  short 
time  to  pray  with  some  of  the  colored  people 
who  were  under  great  conviction.  This  recog- 
nition of  them  raised  so  much  antagonism  on 
the  part  of  the  white  people,  that  they  succeeded 
in  getting  the  county  officials  to  refuse  to  let 
us  have  the  court  house  any  longer.  My  sis- 
ter, who  had  secured  the  building,  went  to 


310        LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

see  them  and  requested  that  they  let  us  con- 
tinue two  days  longer.  They  refused  to  do  so 
and  gave  as  an  excuse  that  they  were  afraid 
smallpox  might  break  out  among  the  colored 
people. 

The  news  of  the  meeting  spread  all  over 
the  country,  especially  were  the  people  stirred 
up  at  Millersburg,  where  the  female  College 
and  the  Military  School  were  located,  and 
where  I  had  once  lived  and  attended  school. 
Lasting  results  have  come  from  the  meeting 
held  at  Paris.  To  God  be  all  the  glory ! 

A  few  days  after  my  arrival  at  home,  the 
Fourth  of  July  (1901)  Holiness  Convention 
was  announced  to  be  held  at  Pleasant  View. 
It  had  been  our  custom  to  hold  an  Annual 
Convention  at  this  place.  This  special  fea- 
ture of  the  holiness  work  in  Colorado,  God  had 
used  me  to  set  forth  six  years  before,  and  up 
to  this  time  I  had  planned  the  camp  meetings 
and  especially  the  Fourth  of  July  conventions, 
and  attended  them  all.  J.  A.  DaFoe,  the 
treasurer,  .took  it  upon  himself  to  print  hand- 
bills announcing  this  convention.  It  was  my 
husband's  work  to  print  these  bills,  as  he  was 
the  secretary;  but  this  would-be  leader  worked 
this  scheme  in  order  to  leave  my  name  off 
the  bills.  It  was  no  surprise  to  me,  as  I  was 
fully  aware  of  the  underhanded  schemes  he  was 
working  in  order  to  get  into  a  place  of  authority. 


AT  PLEASANT  VIEW  311 

It  was  only  an  outward  manifestation  of  what 
had  been  in  his  heart  ever  since  I  had  known 
him.  I  knew  the  time  for  separation  had 
come,  and  my  greatest  desire  was  to  know 
what  God  had  in  it  for  me.  As  I  waited  to 
find  out,  He  came  to  me  with  the  sweet  as- 
surance that  His  will  was  being  wrought  out  in 
my  life,  and  the  treatment  received  at  the 
hands  of  false  professors  was  to  be  used 
in  bringing  the  rain  and  sunshine  to  develop 
the  fruit  in  the  garden  of  my  soul.  The  great 
battle  of  my  Christian  ministry  was  fought  at 
Pleasant  View,  where  I  had  many  spiritual 
children.  This  was  the  birthblace  of  the  holi- 
ness movement  in  Colorado,  and  gained  this 
distinction  as  a  result  of  the  revival  held  there 
in  which  I  did  my  first  preaching.  The  fight 
of  the  backsliders  was  not  against  me,  but 
against  the  cause  of  Christ.  While  passing 
through  the  fires  of  persecution,  there  were 
times  when  the  physical  strain  was  so  great  it 
would  have  put  me  in  the  grave  if  God  had 
not  undertaken  for  me,  but  when  I  reached 
the  limit  of  endurance  the  Lord  would  renew 
my  strength.  He  was  preparing  the  way  for 
a  much  greater  work  than  I  had  any  compre- 
hension of,  and  was  permitting  me  to  suffer  in 
order  to  teach  me  the  lessons  that  it  was 
necessary  for  me  to  learn. 

A  few  persons   who   were   ambitious  for 


312       LOOKING  BACK  FKOM   BETJLAH 

leadership  sold  out  the  cause  of  holiness  by 
catering  to  worldly  denominations  and  ecclesi- 
astical dignitaries.  Remembering  the  pit  (the 
old  church)  from  whence  I  had  come,  I  de- 
termined that  they  should  not  submerge  me 
into  its  mire  again,  and  spent  forty- eight 
hours  in  fasting  and  prayer,  during  which  time 
I  was  enlightened  concerning  the  future  of 
the  work.  The  most  unspeakable  joy  filled  my 
soul  as  Jesus  revealed  himself  to  me  in  the  re- 
lationship of  the  heavenly  Bridegroom.  Some 
things  I  kept  as  secrets  in  my  own  heart, 
and  to-day  my  soul  mounts  up  on  wings 
like  an  eagle  into  the  very  presence  of 
His  glory,  where  I  breathe  the  pure  atmos- 
phere of  His  love.  "O,  thou  matchless 
Christ!  Every  day  will  I  bless  thee,  and 
I  will  praise  thy  name  forever  more."  "Great 
is  the  Lord,  and  greatly  to  be  praised,  and  his 
greatness  is  unsearchable. "  "He  will  keep  the 
feet  of  his  saints,  and  the  wicked  shall  be  si- 
lent in  darkness. "  How  glad  I  am  that  He 
has  kept  me  from  compromising  and  enabled 
me  to  take  the  crucifixion  route !  How  glori- 
ous to  die  to  all  selfish  ambitions  and  have 
but  one  desire,  and  that  to  honor  and  glorify 
His  name! 

"Let  the  righteous  smite  me;  it  shall  be 
a  kindness;  and  let  him  reprove  me;  it  shall 
be  an  excellent  oil,  which  shall  not  break  my 


313  AT  PLEASANT  VIEW 

head ;  for  yet  my  prayer  also  shall  be  in  their 
calamities"  (Psa.  14:15).  The  strokes  that 
have  been  laid  heavily  upon  me  have  only 
proved  a  kindness  and  an  excellent  oil,  for  it 
was  then  my  Beloved  drew  me  into  the  secret 
chamber  where  His  words  were  sweeter  to  my 
soul  than  honey  and  the  honey  comb.  The 
severest  wounds  are  made  by  those  who 
were  once  truly  the  Lord's,  but  have  lost  the 
Lord's  anointing,  and  still  maintain  a  profes- 
sion. Whatever  may  be  the  attitude  they 
assume  toward  holiness,  they  are  its  bitterest 
foes.  People  of  this  character,  like  Joseph's 
brethren,  will  put  the  object  of  their  jealousy 
into  a  pit  and  sit  down  to  eat  bread;  but  God 
has  said  to  His  anointed,  '  'No  weapon  formed 
against  thee  shall  prosper."  The  treatment 
that  Joseph  received  from  his  brethren  proved 
a  blessing  to  him  in  the  end,  yea,  it  was  an 
ointment  to  his  head  and  a  doorway  to  a 
throne.  The  Psalmist  said,  his  '  'prayer  should 
be  in  their  calamities."  While  we  do  not  ask 
God  to  destroy  people,  we  do  ask  Him  to  lay 
His  hand  upon  those  who  hinder  His  work, 
and  He  did  this  with  regard  to  those  who  were 
the  enemies  of  holiness  at  this  Fourth  of  July 
Convention.  Within  three  months  five  offi- 
cers of  the  Association  were  lying  at  death's 
door  at  the  same  time,  and  another  reaping 
an  experience  of  disappointment  too  bitter  to 


314       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

be  expressed  in  words.  These,  and  some 
other  chastisements  that  followed,  were  from 
the  hand  of  God  in  punishment  for  the  course 
they  had  taken  against  His  cause  and  those 
whom  He  had  chosen  to  stand  in  the  breach. 
The  Psalmist  said,  "I  am  grieved  at  these 
that  rise  up  against  thee;  I  count  them  ene- 
mies." Persons  who  try  to  lower  the  stand- 
ard of  holiness  until  it  is  not  offensive,  have 
no  salvation;  if  they  have  ever  been  converted 
they  have  lost  their  salvation  and  become  the 
enemies  of  the  cross. 

Soon  after  my  return  from  Kentucky  we 
lost  our  mission  hall  on  Larimer  street.  While 
some  people  looked  upon  the  losing  of  this  hall 
as  an  evidence  of  God's  displeasure,  I  knew 
that  His  hand  was  in  it  to  bring  about  greater 
things  in  the  work.  We  secured  a  large  Gos- 
pel tent  and  put  it  up  at  Twenty- third  and 
California  streets,  where  we  held  Gospel 
meetings  every  night.  This  resulted  in  a  big 
revival.  There  were  as  many  as  seven  hun- 
dred people  in  one  service  and  many  others 
standing  on  the  outside  of  the  tent. 

It  was  here  that  we  began  to  take  our 
freedom  in  the  demonstrations  which  are  one 
of  the  features  that  characterize  the  work  at 
the  present.  The  opposition  that  it  aroused 
from  cold-hearted  professors  was  used  of  the 
Lord  to  strengthen  us  for  the  battles. 


PEAISE  315 

It  was  during  this  meeting  that  my 
brother,  Rev.  C.  W.  Bridwell,  was  married  to 
Miss  Lillian  O.  Thomas,  who  had  attended  our 
meetings  for  years.  The  ceremony  took  place 
at  the  home  of  her  parents  at  1305  South 
Ninth  street,  September  17,  1901.  Mr.  White 
performed  the  ceremony  in  the  presence  of  a 
few  friends.  The  young  woman  had  been 
true  through  some  severe  persecutions  that 
had  come  from  her  own  church  people  and 
God's  approval  was  on  the  union. 

"Let  everything  that  hath  breath  praise 
the  Lord"  (Psa.  150:6).  Volumes  have  been 
written  on  the  illustrious  author  of  this  text, 
but  only  a  few  have  even  a  slight  conception  of 
the  magnitude  of  "the  blessing"  that  caused 
the  Psalmist's  lips  to  break  forth  in  the  above 
words.  If  every  living  creature  could  use  its 
breath  audibly  in  praising  Him  '  'that  loved  us, 
and  washed  us  from  our  sins  in  his  own  blood, " 
the  half  could  not  then  be  told. 

The  Psalmist  calls  on  God's  angels,  all  His 
hosts  and  the  sun,  moon  and  stars  to  praise 
Him ;  and  '  The  heavens  of  heavens,  and  the 
waters  above  the  heavens."  "Praise  God  in 
his  sanetuary;  praise  him  in  the  firmament  of 
his  power. "  There  is  nothing  so  becoming  to 
a  saint  as  praise.  He  who  has  been  created 


316       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

in  the  image  of  God,  for  a  little  time  lower 
than  the  angels,  and  redeemed  from  sin,  should 
show  forth  the  praises  of  Him,  *  'who  hath 
called  us  out  of  darkness  into  his  marvelous 
light,"  and  "made  us  heirs  of  God  and  joint 
heirs  with  Christ. "  "Sing  unto  the  Lord  a 
new  song,  and  his  praise  in  the  congregation  of 
saints. "  Angels  can  never  join  in  the  song  of 
the  redeemed.  This  privilege  belongs  alone 
to  the  saints.  "Who  have  washed  their  robes, 
and  made  them  white  in  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb."  O  glory!  glory!  "Where  sin  did 
abound,  grace  did  much  more  abound. " 

"There  was  no  arm  to  save,    there  was  no  eye  to 

pity, 

Until  Jesus  OUT  Savior  from  glory  came  down; 
He  was  mighty  to  save,  he  was  strong  to  deliver, 
He  has  brought  us  salvation,  a  robe  and  a  crown. 

Hallelujah!     hallelujah!        Sing    the     triumphant 

strain ; 
Hallelujah  for  the  blood  and  the  Lamb  that  was 

slain.77 

He  stood  in  our  place  as  a  condemned 
criminal  before  the  bar  of  justice.  '  'The  chas- 
tisement of  our  peace  was  upon  him;  and 
with  his  stripes  we  are  healed. "  Though  we 
were  doomed  for  perdition  and  merited  noth- 
ing, He  broke  the  yoke  and  snapped  the 
fetters  and  let  us  go  free.  Should  we  not  use 


THE  BEIDEGEOOM  317 

every  faculty  of  our  beings  to  His  glory  and 
praise  ? 

1  'What  shall  I  render  unto  the  Lord  for 
all  his  benefits?"  The  very  best  that  we  can 
render  is  small.  "Let  Israel  rejoice  in  him 
that  made  him;  let  the  children  of  Zion  re- 
joice in  their  king."  "Let  them  praise  his 
name  in  the  dance:  let  them  sing  praises  unto 
him  with  the  timbrel  and  harp.  For  the  Lord 
taketh  pleasure  in  his  people"  (Psa.  149:2-3). 

The  world  is  waxing  old  like  a  garment. 
Satan  has  had  it  clothed  in  mourning,  and 
groaning  under  the  curse  for  the  past  six 
thousand  years,  but  the  time  has  come  for  the 
saints  to  lift  up  their  heads  and  rejoice,  for 
their  redemption  and  the  restoration  of  all 
things  draweth  near.  '  The  voice  of  my  be- 
loved! behold,  he  cometh  leaping  upon  the 
mountains,  skipping  upon  the  hills."  "My 
beloved  is  like  a  roe  or  a  young  hart;  behold, 
he  standeth  behind  our  wall,  he  looketh  forth 
at  the  windows,  showing  himself  through  the 
lattice.  My  beloved  spake,  and  said  unto  me, 
Rise  up,  my  love,  my  fair  one,  and  come 
away"  (Cant.  2:8-10).  The  heavenly  Bride- 
groom will  soon  come  down  on  a  white  cloud 
and  take  His  bride  away.  He  has  been  watch- 
ing her  from  the  lattice  work  of  His  windows 
as  she  toils  in  His  vineyard  under  the  burning 
rays  of  a  meridian  sun.  She  is  the  sun-burnt 


318       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM   BETJLAH 

maiden,  who  has  won  the  heart  of  the  King 
and  will  sit  with  Him  on  the  throne  in  His 
millennial  glory.  He  has  heard  her  sighs  and 
counted  her  tears  and  looked  upon  her  in  tender- 
ness and  compassion  when  thorns  and  briars 
were  pricking  her  tender  flesh.  He  has  heard 
the  scoffs  and  jeers  of  her  persecutors,  who 
will  soon  receive  a  just  retribution.  A  great 
loving  hand  has  reached  down  and  drawn  the 
cruel  arrows  from  her  heart,  wiped  away  the 
blood-drops  and  poured  in  a  soothing  balm. 
Who  shall  forbid  her  from  rejoicing  in  the 
sunshine  of  His  love?  Well  may  the  poet  sing: 

"His  name  yields  the  sweetest  perfume, 

And  sweeter  than  music  His  voice; 
His  presence  disperses  my  gloom, 
And  makes  all  within  me  rejoice. 

"Content  with  beholding  His  face, 

My  all  to  His  pleasure  resigned : 
No  changes  of  season  or  place, 
Would  make  any  change  in  my  mind." 

It  matters  little  whether  we  please  or  dis- 
please others  so  the  smile  of  His  love-beaming 
eye  is  upon  us.  '  The  winter  is  past,  * 
The  flowers  appear  on  the  earth;  the  time 
of  the  singing  of  birds  is  come,  and  the  voice 
of  the  turtle  is  heard  in  our  land"  (Cant. 
2:11-12).  Every  sanctified  heart  is  like  the 
spring-time  with  the  beautiful  flowers,  singing 


THE  BRIDEGROOM  319 

birds,  rippling  waters  and  cooing  doves.  This 
experience  is  a  miniature  millennium  within 
the  soul.  The  Bridegroom  comes  like  a  young 
hart  skipping  over  the  hills,  and  then  like  a 
dove  nestles  down  deep  in  the  soul,  where 
He  coos  over  His  beloved.  Some  bright  day, 
Jesus  will  come  over  the  Eastern  hills,  swifter 
than  the  morning  light,  wrapped  in  the  fleecy 
clouds  of  His  glory.  The  bride  will  hear  His 
voice  like  that  of  a  dove  cooing  for  its  mate, 
saying,  "Rise  up,  my  love,  my  fair  one,  and 
come  away."  The  bars  of  the  tomb  will 
burst;  the  members  of  the  bride,  both  the 
dead  and  the  living,  will  be  changed  in  the 
twinkling  of  an  eye  and  fly  away  to  meet  Him 
in  the  clouds.  He  will  bring  His  beloved  to 
the  banqueting  house,  where  His  banner  of 
love  will  be  over  her.  ''Let  us  be  glad  and 
rejoice,  and  give  honor  to  him;  for  the  mar- 
riage of  the  Lamb  is  come,  and  his  wife  hath 
made  herself  ready.  And  to  her  was  granted 
that  she  should  be  arrayed  in  fine  linen,  clean 
and  white;  for  the  fine  linen  is  the  righteous- 
ness of  the  saints"  (Rev.  19:7-8).  She  will 
sit  down  in  His  shadow  with  great  delight, 
and  his  fruit  will  be  sweet  to  the  taste 
(Cant.  2:3). 

The  Bridegroom  soon  is  coming, 

The  springtime  now  is  here, 
The  birds  their  songs  are  singing, 


320       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM    BETJLAH 

The  turtle  doves  appear; 
My  heart  with  love  is  pining 

To  meet  Him  in  the  air, 
To  be  with  him  I'm  longing 

In  that  bright  land  so  fair. 

CHO: — Eise  up,  rise  up,  my  fair  one, 

And  do  not  long  delay; 
Eise  up,  rise  up,  my  fair  one, 
And  come,  O  come  away. 

0  tell  me  not  of  crosses, 
Of  burdens  hard  to  bear; 

My  mouth  is  filled  with  praises, 
I've  cast  on  Him  my  care; 

Ofttimes  when  I  am  weary, 
He  tells  me  of  His  grace; 

When  days  are  dark  and  dreary, 
I  see  His  smiling  face. 

Through  lattice  work  He's  looking 

Upon  His  faithful  bride, 
To  her  His  secrets  telling, 

In  whom  He  doth  confide; 
Behold  He  cometh  leaping, 

And  skipping  o'er  the  hills; 

1  hear  Him  gently  calling, 

His  love  my  spirit  thrills. 

The  mountain  peaks  are  glowing 

With  heaven's  golden  light; 
The  bridal  train  is  coming 

On  clouds  of  snowy  white; 
O  I  will  soon  be  going, 

The  time  will  not  be  long, 
For  me  the  Bridegroom's  calling, 

To  meet  the  heavenly  throng. 


RAY  WHITE 


PREMILLEKNIAL    JUDGMENTS          321 

While  the  orchestras  of  the  skies  are 
playing  their  rapturous  strains,  the  premillen- 
nial  judgments  will  be  sweeping  the  earth. 
Myriads  of  the  ungodly,  left  in  the  world,  clad 
in  the  armory  of  death,  will  be  used  as  the 
devil's  instrumentalities  in  the  tribulation  wars. 
Jesus  said,  "Except  those  days  should  be 
shortened  there  should  no  flesh  be  saved ;  but 
for  the  elect's  sake  those  days  shall  be  short- 
ened." Then  "shall  the  sun  be  darkened, 
and  the  moon  shall  not  give  her  light,  and  the 
stars  shall  fall  from  heaven,  and  the  powers 
of  the  heavens  shall  be  shaken"  (Matt.  24:29). 
Should  our  hearts  not  melt  in  gratitude  to 
Him  who  has  made  it  possible  for  us  to  es- 
cape all  these  things?  The  ungodly  will  weep 
and  wail  and  gnash  their  teeth  and  cry  for  the 
rocks  and  hills  to  fall  on  them,  but  it  will  be 
too  late.  "And  they  cast  dust  on  their  heads, 
and  cried,  weeping  and  wailing,  saying,  Alas, 
alas  that  great  city,  wherein  were  made  rich 
all  that  had  ships  in  the  sea  by  reason  of  her 
costliness!  for  in  one  hour  is  she  made  deso- 
late. Rejoice  over  her,  thou  heaven,  and  ye 
holy  apostles  and  prophets;  for  God  hath 
avenged  you  on  her.  *  *  *  And  the  light  of 
a  candle  shall  shine  no  more  at  all  in  thee;  and 
the  voice  of  the  bridegroom  and  of  the  bride 
shall  be  heard  no  more  at  all  in  thee:  for  thy 
merchants  were  the  great  men  of  the  earth ; 


322        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

for  by  thy  sorceries  were  all  nations  deceived. 
And  in  her  was  found  the  blood  of  prophets, 
and  of  saints  and  of  all  that  were  slain  upon 
the  earth  (Rev.  18:19-24). 

While  the  marriage  supper  is  in  progress 
somewhere  in  the  firmament,  another  supper 
will  be  taking  place  in  the  earth.  And  an 
angel  standing  in  the  sun,  will  cry  with  a  loud 
voice,  saying  to  all  the  fowls  that  fly  in  the 
midst  of  heaven,  "Come  and  gather  your- 
selves together  unto  the  supper  of  the  great 
God ;  That  ye  may  eat  the  flesh  of  kings,  and 
the  flesh  of  captains,  and  the  flesh  of  mighty 
men,  and  the  flesh  of  horses  and  of  them 
that  sit  on  them,  and  the  flesh  of  all  men, 
both  free  and  bond,  both  small  and  great" 
(Rev.  19:17-18).  Here  is  a  most  awful  pic- 
ture of  the  tribulation  wars.  The  world  is  so 
corrupt  now  that  it  is  almost  impossible  to 
live  in  it.  What  will  it  be  when  the  voice  of 
the  bride  and  the  Bridegroom  are  no  longer 
heard  in  it,  and  these  fowls,  which  typify  dev- 
ils— the  black  vultures  from  the  pit — are  filling 
their  filthy  stomachs  with  the  flesh  of  human- 
ity. One  will  surely  have  to  suffer  a  martyr's 
death  if  he  escapes  hell  then  and  gains  heaven. 
If  the  chilling  winds  of  carnality  have  such  a 
deadening  influence  on  a  soul  now,  how  will  it 
be  when  this  carnival  of  the  pit  is  in  full  blast  ? 
How  unspeakable  should  be  our  joy  when  we 


OUE   COMING  KING  323 

think  of  the  possibility  of  escaping  it  and  sit- 
ting down  at  the  marriage  supper  of  the 
Lamb! 

This  earth  is  the  purchased  possession  of 
the  Son  of  God,  who  carries  the  title  deed  to 
it,  but  ever  since  the  king  of  darkness  came 
from  the  charred  walls  of  pandemonium  and 
placed  his  cloven  hoof  on  its  virgin  soul,  it  has 
been  in  rebellion  against  God. 

The  first  king  and  queen  were  captured 
in  the  garden  of  Eden  and  a  generation  of 
murderers  were  brought  forth,  and  from  that 
time  to  the  present  there  has  been  one  long- 
continued  record  of  crime.  But  the  long, 
dark  night  of  sin  is  fast  coming  to  a  close 
when  the  discordant  voices  from  rebellious 
hearts,  corrupt  human  governments  and  apos- 
tate churches  will  forever  be  silenced.  The 
time-honored  empires  and  kingdoms  will  crum- 
ble and  fall  and  the  crowns  will  be  snatched 
from  the  heads  of  their  incumbents.  The 
blood  of  martyrs  will  be  avenged,  and  their 
murderers  assigned  to  the  vaults  of  eternal 
despair,  and  the  black  catalogue  of  crime 
wiped  out  forever. 

Then  will  be  fulfilled  Zachariah's  proph- 
ecy (14:4):  ' 'And  his  feet  shall  stand  in  that 
day  upon  the  Mount  of  Olives,  which  is  before 
Jerusalem."  John  said,  "I  looked,  and,  lo,  a 
Lamb  stood  on  the  mount  Sion,  and  with  him 


324       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

an  hundred  and  forty  and  four  thousand  *  *  * 
And  they  sung  as  it  were  a  new  song  before 
the  throne,  *  *  and  no  man  could  learn  that 
song  but  the  hundred  and  forty  and  four  thou- 
sand, which  were  redeemed  from  the  earth" 
(Rev.  14:1-3).  This  company  represents 
Jesus,  and  the  bride  who  flew  up  to  meet 
Him  in  the  clouds,  and  is  now  returning  with 
her  divine  Spouse  from  the  banqueting  cham- 
ber, where  the  nuptials  have  been  celebrated. 
She  is  "the  holy  city,  new  Jerusalem,  coming 
down  from  God  out  of  heaven,  prepared  as  a 
bride  adorned  for  her  husband"  (Rev  21:2). 
Paul  speaks  of  a  resurrection  that  is  out 
from  the  dead  (Phil.  3:10),  to  which  he  was 
striving  to  attain.  This  resurrection  takes 
place  at  the  beginning  of  the  premillennial 
judgments,  at  which  time  the  living  saints 
will  be  translated.  '  'These  are  they  which 
were  not  defiled  with  women."  The  fallen 
church  is  represented  in  the  Bible  by  a  woman 
who  has  broken  wedlock.  The  one  hundred 
and  forty  and  four  thousand  were  not  defiled 
by  her.  '  These  are  they  which  follow  the 
Lamb  whithersoever  he  goeth.  These  were 
redeemed  from  among  men,  being  the  first- 
fruits  unto  God  and  to  the  Lamb. "  Many 
deceived  persons  think  they  can  affiliate  with 
a  backslidden  church,  that  has  long  since 
broken  spiritual  wedlock  and  married  the 


OUR   COMING  KING  325 

world,  and  still  belong  to  the  bridehood. 
This  is  a  delusion  of  the  devil.  It  is  unreas- 
onable and  utterly  impossible  to  support  her 
institutions,  walk  in  her  streets,  peer  in  at  her 
windows  and  drink  out  of  the  wine  cup  of  her 
fornications  without  being  contaminated.  Yet 
mulitudes  are  doing  this  and  vainly  imagine 
that  they  are  the  chosen  ones.  It  could  not 
be  said  of  such,  "In  their  mouth  was  found  no 
guile, "  or  that  they  would  be  found  without 
fault  before  the  throne  of  God  (Rev.  14). 

When  the  first  king  and  queen  stepped 
out  on  this  newly  created  sphere,  there  was 
no  spot  to  mar  its  beauty;  but  they  proved 
unworthy  and  succeeded  in  wresting  it  from 
its  spiritual  orbit,  and  plunged  it  and  their 
own  posterity  into  a  long,  black  night,  with 
scenes  too  dark  to  be  depicted  by  word  or  pen. 
Adam  the  first  was  a  failure,  but  Adam  the 
second,  Jesus  Christ,  has  undertaken  the  re- 
demption of  the  world.  He  will  woo  His 
bride,  slay  His  antagonist,  and  sit  down 
on  His  father  David's  throne  and  rule  the 
world  in  righteousness.  "And  it  shall  be 
in  that  day,  that  living  waters  shall  go 
out  from  Jerusalem;  half  of  them  toward  the 
former  sea,  and  half  of  them  toward  the 
hinder  sea;  *  *  And  the  Lord  shall  be  king 
over  all  the  earth:  in  that  day  shall  there  be 
one  Lord,  and  his  name  one"  (Zech.  14:8-9). 


326      LOOKING    BACK   FEOM    BETJLAH 

'  'My  mother's  children  were  angry  with 
me;  they  made  me  the  keeper  of  the  vine- 
yards; mine  own  vineyard  have  I  not  kept" 
(Cant  i  :6).  '  'Hearken,  O  daughter — forget 
also  thine  own  people,  and  thy  father's  house" 
(Psa.  45:*o). 

Of  necessity  the  bride  of  Christ  is  pressed 
into  fields  of  labor  that  she  never  would  have 
had  to  enter  if  her  mother's  (church's)  children 
had  kept  the  faith  and  helped  her  to  bear  the 
burden  and  the  heat  of  the  day.  They  are 
looking  after  their  worldly  interests  and  com- 
mending themselves  with  works  of  self-right- 
eousness; they  feel  no  need  of  the  sanctifying 
blood  of  the  Lamb.  At  the  same  time  jeal- 
ousies arise  and  their  sacrifices  are  fireless 
and  rejected.  They  are  not  righteous,  and 
like  Cain,  they  would  kill  their  brother.  It  is 
carnality,  diametrically  opposed  to  holiness. 
What  a  monster!  It  is  fallen  Adam  as  a  fugi- 
tive in  a  pugilistic  attitude,  with  wrinkled 
brow  and  darkened  countenance,  firmly  set 
teeth,  clinched  fists  and  hardened  muscles. 
He  came  from  the  regions  of  night,  forced  his 
way  into  the  fair  garden  of  the  soul  and 
fouled  the  lilies  of  purity  under  his  feet .  Here 
he  has  barred  the  doors  and  reigns  supreme. 
His  only  conqueror  is  Adam  the  second 
(Christ),  who,  by  your  yielding  to  Him.  will 
enter  the  gateway  of  your  soul  and  search  him 


CARNALITY— DAMNATION  327 

out  in  the  secret  chamber  and  "bind  the 
strong  man  and  spoil  his  goods"  (Matt.  12:29). 
These  goods  are  the  works  of  the  flesh:  adul- 
tery, fornication,  uncleanness,  lasciviousness, 
idolatry,  witchcraft,  hatred,  wrath,  strife,  se- 
dition, heresies,  envyings,  murders,  drunken- 
ness, revelings,  etc.,  etc.  Cain,  a  true  repre- 
sentative of  the  flesh,  brought  an  offering 
without  blood,  and  was  not  accepted.  Abel, 
emblematizing  the  new  man,  brought  the  sac- 
rificial lamb,  and  the  fire  from  heaven  con- 
sumed his  offering.  "Without  the  shedding 
of  blood  is  no  remission"  of  sins. 

Carnal  religion  has  no  blood  in  it;  there- 
fore its  ambassadors  are  enemies  to  the  cross 
of  Christ.  Isaac  was  the  child  of  promise. 
Ishmael,  who  was  born  after  the  flesh,  perse- 
cuted him  who  was  born  after  the  Spirit;  even 
so  it  is  now.  '  'For  the  flesh  lusteth  against 
the  Spirit,  and  the  Spirit  against  the  flesh: 
and  these  are  contrary  the  one  to  the  other" 
(Gal.  5:17).  Sarah,  who  represents  the 
true  Church,  said  that  the  son  of  the  bond 
woman  should  not  be  heir  with  her  son.  Isaac 
typifies  the  new  birth,  Ishmael,  the  "old 
man,"  or  depravity.  He  mocked  Isaac,  and 
was  cast  out  on  the  weaning  day.  The  time 
comes  in  the  experience  of  every  regenerated 
person  when  the  carnal  nature  must  die,  or  the 
result  is  spiritual  death  to  him  who  retains 


328        LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BEULAH 

it  in  his  heart  Had  Ishmael  been  per- 
mitted to  stay  in  the  home  he  would  have 
killed  Isaac. 

Jacob  crossed  his  hands  and  blest  Ephra- 
im,  the  younger  son  of  Joseph.  Esau  sold 
his  birthright  for  a  mess  of  pottage,  and  Jacob, 
the  younger,  obtained  the  inheritance.  Then 
Esau  sought  to  kill  Jacob.  Adam  the  first 
forfeited  his  rights  to  an  inheritance,  selling 
this  world  and  humanity  out  to  the  devil. 
Adam  the  second  redeemed  it  with  His  own 
blood,  but  the  son  of  Belial  firmly  intrenched 
in  his  stronghold  in  the  human  heart,  refuses 
to  relinquish  his  false  claims,  and  obstinately 
contests  every  inch  of  the  ground.  Through 
the  long  battle  of  centuries,  rivers  of  blood 
have  flowed  and  mountains  of  dead  have  been 
heaped  up.  Multiplied  millions  have  gone 
down  under  the  stroke  of  the  grim  monster, 
and  are  now  writhing  in  the  flames  of  torment, 
where  they  will  be  the  victims  of  the  devil's 
torture  forever. 

The  bands  are  playing  funeral  notes. 
Slowly  moves  the  procession  behind  livery 
draped  in  black,  bearing  the  remains  of  a  de- 
parted soul  to  the  city  of  the  dead.  The  body 
is  consigned  to  the  earth,  attendants  stand 
with  their  heads  made  bare,  while  the  minister 
repeats,  ' 'Earth  to  earth  and  dust  to  dust." 
Flowers  are  placed  upon  the  coffin  lid,  and  a 


CAKNALITY— DAMNATION  329 

few  words  of  consolation  are  spoken  to  the 
friends  in  mourning.  In  the  meantime  the 
spiritual  eye  pierces  the  blackness  of  night 
and  sees  a  lost  soul  just  entering  the  reality  of 
an  eternity  in  hell.  Enraged  demons  taunt 
him  in  their  frenzy  and  torture  him  with  coals 
of  fire.  He  shrieks  and  groans,  vainly  trying 
to  release  himself  from  his  tormentors,  but  it  is 
too  late.  He  refused  to  let  old  "Adam"  die 
in  spite  of  the  direct  command  *  'to  put  off 
the  old  man  with  his  deeds."  He  clung  to 
him  to  the  end  and  in  so  doing  sealed  his 
doom  forever,  and  now  in  the  pit  of  dark  de- 
spair, he  breathes  the  foul,  pestilential  breath 
of  tobacco  chewers,  drunkards,  harlots,  mur- 
derers, and  suicides.  There  is  nothing  for 
him  but  remorse,  for  there  is  no  repentance  in 
hell!  It  is  too  late!  He  rejected  mercy  and 
the  die  is  cast !  The  door  is  forever  closed, 
and  the  soul  left  in  hopeless  despair  to  writhe 
in  the  flames  of  torment  forever! 

THE  SINNER'S  DOOM 

The  day  of  wrath  is  near  at  hand, 

When  wicked  men  shall  fear 
The  name  of  Jesus  crucified , 

Whose  words  they  would  not  hear. 
A  time  of  trouble  it  will  be, 

When  men  for  help  will  call, 
And  smite  their  breasts  and  cry  aloud, 

"O  mountains  on  us  fall!" 


330       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

"Too  late,  too  late,"  our  Lord  will  say, 

This  is  the  day  of  doom, 
For  all  who  have  the  Cross  refused, 

In  heav'n  there  is  no  room; 
For  you  they  crowned  My  head  with  thorns, 

For  you  they  pierced  My  side, 
You  spurned  My  love  from  day  to  day, 

My  name  you  have  denied.'7 

In  hell  the  rich  man  called  for  help; 

Alas,  it  was  too  late, 
And  all  who  like  the  rich  man  die, 

Must  share  his  awful  fate. 
He  lived  for  self,  and  self  alone, 

And  in  his  sins  he  died; 
In  hell  he  lifted  up  his  eyes, 

"Send  Lazarus,7'  he  cried. 

Down  in  that  world  of  dark  despair, 

There' s  not  one  ray  of  light, 
Where  darkness  shrouds  the  souls  of  men, 

In  hell's  eternal  night. 
O  look  to  Him,  lost  ones,  to-day, 

His  blood  can  make  you  free; 
He  is  the  refuge  of  the  soul, 

For  mercy  to  Him  flee. 


CHAPTER    XXI 

ON    THE    PACIFIC    COAST TOKENS    OF    GOD'S 

FAVOR ORGANIZATION    OF    THE    PEN- 
TECOSTAL    UNION 

TN  THE  AFTERNOON  of  October  3, 
A  1901,  the  Lord  spoke  to  me  very  clearly 
telling  me  to  visit  our  missionaries  at  Chey- 
enne, Wyoming.  It  did  not  take  me  long  to 
get  ready  and  in  less  than  two  hours  I  was  off. 
Our  headquarters  there  had  been  moved  since 
I  had  last  heard  from  the  missionaries  and  1  did 
not  know  where  to  find  them.  I  made  a  few 
inquiries,  but  found  no  one  who  was  able  to  give 
me  any  information  in  regard  to  them.  It 
was  after  ten  o'clock  and  the  weather  was 
cold  and  damp  and  I  was  getting  chilly,  after 
having  walked  blocks  in  trying  to  find  them. 
I  stopped  and  asked  the  Lord  to  direct  my 
steps ;  I  could  almost  feel  a  hand  turning  me 
around  and  I  knew  the  Holy  Spirit  was  trying 
to  direct  me.  Going  in  the  opposite  direction 
I  walked  straight  to  the  mission  hall.  The 
Lord  wonderfully  blest  this  visit  to  the  salva- 
tion of  souls. 

Three   days  afterwards   I   was   alone  in 
prayer,  when  suddenly  the  well  of  salvation  in 

331 


332      [LOOKING  BACK  FEOM    BEULAH 

my  heart  began  to  overflow.  With  it  came 
the  evidence  that  the  Lord  had  planned  a  mis- 
sionary trip  for  me  by  way  of  Butte,  Montana 
to  the  Pacific  Coast.  I  had  no  money  with 
which  to  make  this  trip.  However,  it  was  clear 
to  me  that  my  transportation  would  be  pro- 
vided, and  I  was  so  confident  of  this  that  I 
told  a  sister  that  I  had  the  assurance  the 
money  would  be  on  hands  in  a  few  days. 
Five  days  later  I  received  a  postal  card  from 
the  leader  of  the  Butte  mission,  telling  me  that 
he  had  sent  the  money  to  Denver  for  my  fare 
to  Butte.  He  knew  nothing  of  what  the  Lord 
had  shown  me  in  regard  to  this  trip,  and  no 
one  had  told  him  that  1  had  any  thought  of 
making  such  a  trip. 

I  returned  to  Denver,  and  started  to 
Butte  on  the  sixteenth,  arriving  there  two 
days  later,  where  I  found  the  missionaries  all 
well  and  the  work  in  a  prosperous  condition. 
The  Lord  wonderfully  blest  my  labors  during 
the  next  two  weeks.  I  said  nothing  to  any- 
one about  going  on  to  the  Coast  and  was  won- 
dering how  the  way  would  be  opened,  when 
one  day  the  wife  of  the  leader  of  the  mission 
came  in  and  asked  me  if  I  would  not  like  to 
go  to  California.  I  told  her  I  would  be  pleased 
to  go,  but  avoided  telling  her  of  any  definite 
leading  that  I  had.  She  informed  me  later 
that  her  husband  would  buy  me  a  ticket  if  I 


PACIFIC   COAST  333 

would  go.  In  the  meantime  she  decided  that 
she  and  little  Alma,  her  three-months-old 
babe,  would  accompany  me. 

I  had  long  wanted  a  trip  on  the  ocean, 
and  God  had  promised  me  that  I  should  have 
it,  but  I  supposed  it  would  cost  more  by  ocean 
steamer  from  Portland,  Oregon  to  San  Fran- 
cisco than  by  rail,  and  did  not  say  anything 
about  it.  A  few  hours  before  we  were  to 
leave,  the  brother  who  went  to  buy  our  tickets 
came  in  and  asked  me  if  I  would  prefer  to  go 
from  Portland  to  San  Francisco  by  water.  I 
told  him  I  would  be  delighted  with  such  a 
trip.  He  went  back  to  the  ticket  office  and 
arranged  for  our  transportation  that  way. 

Before  leaving  Montana  other  persons  put 
enough  money  into  my  hands  to  pay  addi- 
tional expenses  on  the  trip,  some  of  which  I 
did  not  receive  until  I  had  reached  Dillon, 
seventy  miles  south  of  Butte,  where  I  found 
my  sister  and  her  four  children  at  the  depot 
anxiously  waiting  to  see  me.  Dale,  her  six- 
year-old  boy,  brought  me  a  basket  of  lunch. 
He  had  broken  one  of  his  arms  a  few  days  be- 
fore, but  this  did  not  hinder  him  from  making 
good  use  of  the  other,  for  the  basket  was 
supplied  with  food  for  the  journey.  This  was 
a  touching  scene  and  caused  me  to  weep  for 
joy,  as  I  felt  it  was  a  token  from  God  that  He 
would  supply  all  my  needs  on  this  trip.  When 


334       LOOKING   BACK  FEOM   BEULAH 

the  train  was  starting,  a  brother  rushed  up 
and  handed  me  four  silver  dollars. 

A  morning  or  two  later  our  train  was  run- 
ning along  by  the  beautiful  Columbia  River, 
within  one  hundred  miles  of  Portland.  The 
mountain  scenery  along  this  river  is  beyond 
description,  and  the  luxuriant  vegetable  growth 
added  to  its  charms.  My  soul  was  full  of  the 
music  of  heaven,  and  I  could  find  no  words  of 
expression  that  would  do  justice  to  my 
feelings. 

Before  reaching  Portland,  Sister  P 

and  the  baby  were  both  quite  sick,  which  was 
caused  by  the  motion  of  the  train.  Neither 
of  us  knew  anyone  at  Portland,  but  I  asked 
the  Lord  to  have  some  follower  of  Christ,  who 
was  interested  in  work  similar  to  that  in  which 
we  were  engaged,  meet  us  at  the  train,  and 
immediately  received  the  assurance  that  the 
prayer  would  be  answered.  When  we  reached 
the  station  I  saw  no  one  to  whom  I  felt  im- 
pressed to  speak  except  a  policeman.  I  asked 
him  about  the  hotels,  telling  him  that  we 
were  missionaries  and  wanted  to  find  a  quiet, 
respectable  place,  where  the  charges  would  be 
reasonable.  The  moment  I  said  we  were  mis- 
sionaries, his  face  lighted  up  and  he  asked 
what  society  we  belonged  to.  I  told  him  we 
were  Pentecostal  workers.  He  said,  "I  am 
interested  in  Pentecostal  work  myself."  We 


PACIFIC   COAST  335 

found  him  to  be  a  Christian  man,  who  said  he 
had  secured  his  office  in  answer  to  prayer, 
that  he  might  have  the  opportunity  to  help 
people  who  arrived  at  this  station,  many  of 
whom  were  strangers  from  all  parts  of  the 
world.  He  seemed  very  much  interested  in 
us,  and  in  less  than  twenty  minutes  put  us  on 
a  street  car  and  sent  us  to  his  quiet  little 
home  on  the  outskirts  of  the  city,  where  his 
wife  received  us  with  great  kindness. 

He  was  the  leader  of  a  weekly  holiness 
prayer  meeting  held  in  the  neighborhood.  At 
noon  he  was  off  duty,  and  at  three  o'clock,  in 
company  with  himself  and  wife,  we  attended 
this  prayer  meeting,  which  he  asked  me  to 
lead.  There  were  homes  opened  to  us,  and 
the  people  showed  us  great  kindness.  The 
following  evening  I  preached  in  the  Free 
Methodist  church;  at  the  close  of  the  service 
the  people  insisted  on  taking  a  free-will  offer- 
ing for  us.  When  some  of  these  good  people 
bade  us  good-bye  the  next  evening  at  the 
steamer  docks,  it  was  like  parting  with  old 
friends.  The  three  days'  stay  in  Portland 
will  ever  be  one  of  the  bright  spots  cherished 
in  my  memory. 

As  our  steamer,  the  "Columbia,"  moved 
slowly  out  into  the  river,  my  thoughts  turned 
toward  home  and  loved  ones  and  the  possi- 
bility of  never  seeing  them  again;  yet  I  felt 


336       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

as  secure  as  a  bird  in  the  cleft  of  a  rock.  We 
reached  Astoria  about  four  the  next  morn- 
ing, where  our  ship  waited  for  daylight  and 
high  tide  before  crossing  the  bar  at  the  mouth 
of  the  Columbia.  Here,  as  I  stepped  out  on 
deck,  my  eyes  beheld  the  wonders  of  God  and 
His  handiwork,  which  would  simply  exhaust 
the  descriptive  powers  of  the  most  gifted 
writer.  At  the  mouth  of  the  Columbia  River 
a  wonderful  picture  met  my  eyes,  never  to  be 
effaced  from  memory.  The  mouth  of  this 
river  was  dotted  all  over  with  vessels  of  almost 
every  description,  lying  at  anchor  or  plying 
the  water  amidst  flying  seabirds.  There  was 
beautiful  mountain  scenery  on  both  sides  of 
the  river,  and  the  great  Pacific  lay  out  in  full 
view  before  us. 

As  the  great  waves  broke  against  our  ves- 
sel when  we  were  crossing  the  bar,  I  thought 
of  the  stream  of  life  on  which  I  had  sailed  for 
fifteen  years  after  my  conversion,  before  reach- 
ing the  turbulent  waters  of  consecration  and 
sailing  out  into  the  great  ocean  of  God's  love, 
where  its  height,  depth  and  breadth  cannot  be 
measured. 

The  Psalmist  said,  "  They  that  go  down 
to  the  sea  in  ships,  that  do  business  in  great 
waters;  these  see  the  works  of  the  Lord,  and 
his  wonders  in  the  deep.  For  he  commandeth 
and  raiseth  up  the  stormy  wind  which  lifteth 


PACIFIC  COAST  337 

up  the  waves  thereof.  They  mount  up  to 
heaven;  they  go  down  again  into  the  depths; 
their  soul  is  melted  because  of  trouble.  They 
reel  to  and  fro,  and  stagger  like  a  drunken 
man,  and  are  at  their  wit's  end"  (Psa.  107:25- 
27).  The  above  picture  was  actually  before 
my  eyes.  I  saw  the  works  of  the  Lord  and 
His  wonders  in  the  deep,  which  was  verified 
spiritually  in  my  Christian  experience  nine 
years  before  when  the  Lord  sanctified  my 
soul. 

The  stormy  waves  seemed  to  lift  our  ves- 
sel up  to  the  heavens;  then  she  would  go 
down  again  into  the  depths.  In  less  than 
half  an  hour  three-fourths  of  the  passengers 
were  seasick  and  reeling  to  and  fro  like 
drunken  men.  I  had  prayed  that  the  Lord 
would  not  let  my  trip  be  spoiled  by  seasick- 
ness, and  received  the  evidence  that  I  should 
have  the  desire  of  my  heart,  and  while  others 
were  lying  prostrate  on  their  beds,  dreadfully 
nauseated,  requiring  the  assistance  of  the  at- 
tendants on  board,  I  was  perfectly  enraptured 
with  the  wonders  of  the  ocean.  In  the  after- 
noon I  began  to  feel  some  of  the  symptoms  of 
seasickness,  enough  to  convince  me  that  I 
would  be  no  better  than  the  others  if  my  trust 
were  not  in  God.  I  went  down  to  the  supper 
table,  but  could  eat  no  food.  The  waiters 
looked  at  one  another  and  smiled,  as  much  as 


338      LOOKING    BACK    FEOM    BEULAH 

to  say,  '  'She  will  not  be  down  again  for  a 
while."  Some  of  them  had  marveled  how  I 
had  kept  up  while  others  were  so  sick.  I  told 
them  I  was  trusting  the  Lord  to  keep  me 
well.  Not  being  able  to  eat  any  supper,  I 
was  fearfully  buffeted  by  the  enemy,  but,  de- 
termined not  to  let  go  my  hold  on  the  prom- 
ises of  God,  I  went  to  my  room  and  asked  the 
Lord  just  for  His  glory  to  keep  me  from  get- 
ting any  worse.  In  ten  minutes  every  symp- 
tom of  seasickness  was  gone  and  I  was  trou- 
bled no  more  during  the  rest  of  the  voyage. 

About  three  o'clock  the  third  morning  we 
were  nearing  the  '  'Golden  Gate, "  the  lights 
were  glimmering  along  the  shore,  and  there 
was  no  fog  to  hinder  our  immediate  entrance 
into  the  port.  I  arose  and  dressed  long  before 
the  break  of  day  and  sat  looking  out  at  a  win- 
dow, while  Sister  P ,  and  her  little  daughter 

Alma,  slept.  A  view  of  San  Francisco,  a  city 
of  nearly  four  hundred  thousand  people,  beau- 
tifully lighted,  made  an  impressive  picture.  I 
thought  of  the  city  which  hath  foundations, 
whose  builder  and  maker  is  God,  and  there, 
amidst  the  roaring  of  the  waves,  a  revelation 
of  God's  glory  came  to  me  which  almost  over- 
whelmed me.  I  was  given  a  slight  idea  of 
what  it  will  be  at  the  end  of  life's  jonrney. 

"When  the  old  ship  of  Zion  has  made  her  last  trip, 
I  want  to  be  there,  I  do; 


PACIFIC  COAST  339 

With  heads  all  uncovered,  to  greet  the  old  ship, 
I  want  to  be  there,  don't  you? 

When  all  the  ship's  company  meet  on  the  strand, 
I  wan't  to  be  there,  I  do; 

With  songs  on  their  lips  and  with  harps  in   their 

hands, 
I  want  to  be  there,  don't  you? 

"When  Jesus  is  crowned  the  King  of  all  kings, 

I  want  to  be  there,  I  do; 
With  shouting  and  clapping  till  all  heaven  rings, 

I  want  to  be  there,  don't  you? 
Hallelujah  we'll  shout  again  and  again, 

I  want  to  be  there,  I  do; 
And  close  with  the  chorus,  Amen  and  Amen, 

I  want  to  be  there,  don't  you?" 

The  '  'Columbia"  was  docked  at  seven 
a.  m.,  and  in  a  few  hours  we  had  crossed  the 
bay  and  were  located  in  the  home  of  a  saintly 
old  lady  in  Oakland.  Here  we  stayed  for 
three  days  before  leaving  for  San  Jose,  the 
city  that  is  called  the  garden  spot  of  the  Coast. 
I  was  told  it  was  also  called  the  Gomorrah  of 
the  Coast.  I  certainly  could  not  do  justice  in 
trying  to  give  the  reader  even  a  slight  idea  of 
the  beauty  of  this  almost  tropical  city,  with 
its  varied  palm  trees,  flowers  and  fruits  that 
met  my  vision  in  every  direction.  The  roses 
and  calla  lilies,  the  favorites  of  most  every- 
one, grew  in  great  profusion. 

On  Friday  afternoon,  Sister  P and 

I  were  walking  up  one  of  the  main  streets 


340       LOOKING  BACK  FEOM  BETJLAH 

of  the  city  in  the  direction  of  the  Christian 
Alliance  hall,  where  we  were  expecting  to 
attend  a  meeting,  when  I  caught  the  eye  of 
an  old  man  who  had  a  pop  corn  and  candy 
stand  on  the  corner.  We  had  gone  only  a 
few  steps  when  he  came  running  after  us,  call- 
ing, "Madam,  madam,  are  you  not  from  Col- 
orado?" He  stood  trembling  with  excitement 
as  he  confronted  us.  I  told  him,  yes,  that  I 
was  from  Denver.  I  did  not  recognize  him  at 
first.  He  said,  '  1  know  you,  but  I  can't  recall 
your  name.  We  lived  near  you,  in  a  little 
terrace  facing  the  alley.  My  wife  attended 
your  meetings.  She  was  taken  sick  and  given 
up  by  the  physician,  and  you  prayed  with  her 
and  the  Lord  healed  her.  Oh,  she  must  see 
you.  She  will  be  delighted  to  know  you  are 
here."  After  the  close  of  the  meeting,  an 
hour  and  a  half  later,  we  were  again  walking 
up  the  street  and  were  overtaken  by  this  man, 
who  handed  me  ten  cents,  begging  me  to  take 
a  street  car  to  his  home.  We  had  only  gone 
a  half  block  farther  when  we  met  his  nineteen- 
year-old  son,  who  was  apparently  as  much  ex- 
cited as  his  father.  He  said,  "You  are  going 
to  see  mother,  I  know,  and  I  must  go  with 
you;  I  want  to  see  what  she  will  do."  His 
mother  was  almost  overwhelmed  with  joy. 
They  lived  in  a  large  rooming  house  where 
there  were  a  number  of  other  families,  among 


PACIFIC   COAST  341 

them  the  leaders  of  the  Florence  Crittenden 
mission,  one  of  whom  she  called,  and  to  whom 
I  was  introduced.  I  was  asked  to  talk  in  the 
mission  the  next  evening,  which  led  to  special 
services  being  held,  in  which  God  was  glorified 
in  the  salvation  of  many  precious  souls.  It 
was  about  five  days  before  the  real  break 
came,  but  after  that  the  altar  was  filled  at 
almost  every  meeting.  On  the  first  Saturday 
evening  the  power  fell  on  the  people  and  souls 
were  liberated  with  mighty  shouts  of  victory, 
which  brought  people  from  the  streets  and 
clerks  from  the  stores  for  blocks  around. 
They  filled  the  aisle  and  stood  looking  with 
wonder  on  the  scene  at  the  altar.  A  brother 
who  drove  in  from  Santa  Clara  every  evening, 
said  he  had  been  praying  for  months  for  a  re- 
vival. When  the  outlook  was  the  least  en- 
couraging, he  would  say,  '  'Soon  the  cannon 
balls  of  salvation  will  be  rolling  up  and  down 
these  streets."  All  may  not  have  the  gift  of 
preaching,  but  everyone  can  pray;  and  yet 
there  are  only  a  few  persons  who  become 
mighty  instruments  in  prevailing  with  God  for 
souls.  We  need  more  prayers  to  counteract 
the  influence  of  counterfeit  holiness  preachers. 
After  an  absence  of  nearly  two  months,  I 
reached  Denver,  December  i2th,  after  having 
seen  many  old-time  conversions,  and  having 
traveled  four  thousand  five  hundred  miles. 


342       LOOKING   BACK   FEOM  BETJLAH 

During  the  weeks  spent  on  this  journey, 
the  Lord  talked  to  me  definitely  about  organ- 
izing our  work.  The  difficulties  of  such  an  un- 
dertaking were  inconceivably  great,  especially 
when  my  husband  and  many  of  our  people 
thought  such  a  step  would  be  a  great  mistake. 
The  experiences  that  I  had  passed  through  in 
missions,  where  false  shepherds  would  creep 
in  and  carry  off  the  lambs,  were  sufficient  to 
show  me  what  we  would  have  to  contend  with 
in  taking  a  definite  step  toward  organization. 
For  years  I  had  faithfully  preached  against 
the  apostasy  of  the  old  denominations,  and 
God's  word  had  been  hammering  in  pieces  the 
rock,  and  much  of  the  opposition  to  an  inde- 
pendent work  had  given  away  among  those 
with  whom  we  were  working;  but  still  there 
were  mountains  of  difficulty  to  be  removed. 
I  knew  to  delay  would  hinder  the  work  of 
the  Holy  Spirit.  I  had  asked  the  Lord  many 
times  to  put  me  in  a  hard  place  if  He  could 
trust  me  in  it,  but  when  this  prayer  was  made 
I  had  but  little  idea  what  it  meant. 

The  question  of  what  to  do  with  our  con- 
verts had  been  a  great  problem  for  seven 
years.  In  spite  of  all  efforts  to  make  church 
homes  for  them  in  our  missions,  where  most 
of  them  were  converted,  they  were  drawn  away 
into  the  backslidden  churches  where  they  soon 
died  spiritually.  As  we  presented  the  subject 


PENTECOSTAL    UNION  343 

of  organization  to  our  people  we  found  a  few 
of  them  were  fully  prepared  for  it,  while  many 
others  were  unsettled.  God  helped  me  to  use 
wisdom  in  dealing  with  those  who  were  halt- 
ing between  two  opinions,  and  at  the  end  of 
two  weeks  after  my  return  from  the  Coast, 
fifty  persons  were  ready  to  co-operate  with  me 
and  unite  with  the  new  church,  the  organiza- 
tion of  which  was  affected  Dec.  29th,  1901. 
We  accepted  no  persons  who  belonged  to  labor 
unions,  worldly  fraternities  or  lodges.  We 
lifted  up  the  standard  according  to  the  light 
we  had  and  God  put  His  seal  upon  the  new 
organization.  It  was  indeed  the  beginning  of 
days  for  our  work,  which  is  now  better  known 
as  the  Pillar  of  Fire,  though  The  Pentecostal 
Union  is  still  the  legal  name. 

In  1903,  a  Bible  School  building  was 
erected  at  1845  Champa  street,  Denver,  Colo- 
rado, a  picture  of  which  is  given  on  the  follow- 
ing page.  In  1906,  operations  were  begun  in 
the  East.  A  history  of  the  development  and 
progress  of  the  work,  from  its  organization  to 
1907  may  be  found  in  the  book  entitled  "The 
New  Testament  Church,"  by  the  author  of 
4 'Looking  Back  from  Beulah." 

THE     END. 


Denver  Bible  School 


1845  CHAMPA  STREET 

1903 


. . .  THE  PAPER  PEOPLE  TALK  ABOUT  . .  . 

PILLAR  OF  FIRE, 

The  Message  ot  Light  and  Salvation 

Its  readers  say  it  is  "Soul  food,77  "A  welcome  vis- 
itor/7 " Next  to  the  Bible,'7  "  That  it  helps  them 
to  better  understand  the  Word,77  etc.,   etc. 

HAVE  YOU   SEEN   IT? 


Its  teachings  concerning  justification,  sanctifica- 
tion,  the  second  coming,  divine  healing  and  the  Ees- 
toration  of  the  Jews  are  clear  and  definite.  Not  a 
promoter  of  new  ideas  and  doctrines,  but  of  old-time 
Bible  salvation.  Interesting  to  both  old  and  young. 

No  Home  Should  be  Without  It 


Illustrated.        16  pages  Weekly.        $1.00  a  year. 
PILLAR  OF  FIRE,  BOUND  BROOK,  N.  J. 

PILLAR   OF   FIRE         '    The  older  it  grows, 

The  farther  it  throws 

j  flf  f  O  R     Ite  raye  of  truth  and  cheer- 

DIFFERENT  FROM  ALL  OTHERS 

There  are  many  papers  for  children,  but  no 
other  gets  down  to  the  heart  of  things  as  does  the  Junior. 
It  is  comprehensive  in  its  teaching,  and  definite  in  its 
mission.  Contains  Sunday  school  lesson  notes  that  are 
instructive,  heart  to  heart  talks,  striking  illustra- 
tions, and  articles  from  hearts  aglow  with  holy  zeal. 

Illustrated.     8  Pages  Weekly     50c  a  Year. 
Pillar  of  Fire  Junior,  Bound  Brook,  K  J. 


.  .  .  BIBLE    SCHOOL  .  .  . 

_  .   A  "NTH  _ 

™~~    .iA-Li  JL/ 

MISSIONARY   TRAINING  HOME 

BOUND  BROOK  NEW  JERSEY 


PENTECOSTAL 

IN  TEACHING 
(J9         IN  PRACTICE 

IN  EXPERIENCE 


ZAREPH  ATH  '  '    the  place  where  God  moulds 
and  refines  character.  . 


Dedicated  to  God  for  the  training  of 

PREACHERS,   (^MISSIONARIES 
and  EVANGELISTS 

From  time  to  time  laborers  are  going  forth  into  the 
whitened    harvest  field.        Here    spiritual  bat- 
tles   are    being    fought    and    won    through 
prevailing    prayer.        God    is  leading 
this  School  from  victory  to  victory. 

For  further  particulars  address  the 

Pillar  gf  Fire,  Bound  Brook,  N.  J. 


Demons  and  Tongues 

By  Mrs.  Alma  White 

Author  of  "Looking  Back  from  Beulah"  "The  Chosen 

People,"  "The  New  Testament  Church"  "Golden  Sun- 

beams" "Gems  of  Life"  and  Editor  of  Pillar 

of  Fire  and  Pillar  of  Fire  Junior. 

YOU  SHOULD  PROCURE  A  COPY  OF  THIS  BOOK 

at  once  and  learn  the  truth  about  the 
"Tongues"  movement.  We  give  below 
a  brief  synopsis  of  its  contents  .... 

Demon  Possession  —  Spiritual  Bearings  Lost- 
Latter  Eain  —  Eeligious  Demons  —  A  Sign  of  the  Last 
days  —  Tongueism  is  Spiritism  —  Mystery  of  Iniquity- 
Denying  Unity  of  Godhead  —  Renouncing  Former 
Teachings  —  Evil  Angels—  Sins  of  the  Flesh  —  The 
Great  Apostasy—  Author'  s  Sanctification—  The  *  'Gift'  > 
a  Failure—  The  Old  Bed  Dragon. 


Paper  Cover  20c  Postpaid 

CJoFth    »     30c    »  *„ 


PILLAE  OF  FIEE,  BOUND  BEOOK,  K  J. 


Qems  of  Life 

By  Mrs.  Alma  White. 


...The  Children's  Book... 

It  is  not  made  up  of  clipped  or  imaginary  articles. 
Many  of  the  selections  contain  lively  incidents  from 
the  author's  early  life.  What  a  child  reads  has  much 
to  do  with  his  character  in  after  life.  This  book 
contains  nothing  but  what  is  pure  and  wholesome. 

112  Pages.     100  illustrations.     Price  60c,  postpaid. 
PILLAE  OF  FIEE,  BOUND  BEOOK,  K  J. 

Golden  Sunbeams 

By  Mrs.  Alma  White 

Hor  Young  People 

A  wonderful  inspiration  to  those  who  read  it. 
Not  a  dull  page  from  start  to  finish.  Every  selection 
appeals  directly  to  the  heart.  Young  people  will  read 
something,  and  every  parent  should  provide  the  very 
best  books  for  those  whom  God  has  placed  in  his  care. 

160  Pages.         Illustrated.         Price  70c,  postpaid. 
PILLAE  OF  FIEE,  BOUND  BEOOK,  1ST.  J. 


The  Chosen  People 

By  Mrs.  Alma  White 

The  Eestoration  of  the  Jews  and  the  two  works  of 
grace,  justification  and  sane  tin*  cation,  are  clearly  set 
forth  from  the  types  of  the  Old  Testament.  The  Ees- 
toration is  also  shown  from  many  direct  prophecies. 

THE  STORY  OF  JOSEPH, 

the  deliverance  of  Israel  from  Egyptian  bond- 
age, the  return  of  the  Ark  from  the  land  of  the  Phil- 
istines, all  teach  these  three  great  truths. 

THE  BOOK  OF  JOB 

is  but  little  understood  by  Bible  students  and 
commentators.  Many  great  truths  are  here  brought 
to  light  which  hold  the  reader  spellbound  with  inter- 
est. Comments  on  the  book  of  Job  are  well  worth 
the  price  of  the  book. 

THE  PSALMS  OF  DAVID 

clearly  teach  the  literal  Eestoration  of  the  Jews, 
the  reign  of  Christ  upon  the  earth. 

Other  Old  Testament  books  are  explained  in  a 
way  that  will  be  new  to  the  readers.  Prophecy  is  be- 
ing rapidly  fulfilled  and  no  one  should  remain  in 
ignorance. 

300  Pages.  Price  $1.00 

PILLAE  OF  FIEE,  BOUND  BEOOK,  K  J. 


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